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Lastchance4luv

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  1. Lastchance4luv
    Day 15 Just when I thought I was doing ok, I broke down last night. I went out to a spot that him and I used to go to all the time, and when I got home I just lost it. Laying in bed thinking about how he wasn't next to me, and how he'll probably never be next to me again. I had a really hard time falling asleep, and once I did I kept waking up every hour. It's just not fair. He gets to move on and be with another girl while I can't stop thinking about him. I gave him a billion chances and he couldn't even give me one. It's not fair that I'm depressed, barely eating and sleeping, and he is at home living happy. It's not fair that he lied to me so many times. I gave him my entire heart and I put all my trust into him. All I got was a broken heart. I've learned my lesson. Yet I'm still hurting and I'm still hit with emotional rollercoasters. My lover, my life. I hate him, I love him. I wish it would all go away. I hate this. You never think they'll leave you, and then one day they're gone. I understand that in order to really know what love feels like, you have to lose the one you love. But this hurts too much. I want him back in my life, I wish I could have given him everything he wanted and needed. I...HATE...THIS. I don't know why, but NC makes me feel even more sad.
  2. Lastchance4luv
    Day 14 A part of me is still missing him, just a bit. At this point I know he's not coming back. And to be honest, I think that's a good thing, for both of us. It's amazing what you realize once you step out of a relationship. I'm getting closer to 30 days, and I gotta say I am very proud of myself. My birthday is in a few days. From time to time I get this little feeling, wishing he'll say Happy Birthday to me. But at the same time, I don't want him to. Still a bit sad, and still recovering. -sigh- Things will get better, I know it. Oh, I recently ran into an old friend that I haven't seen in years, and I must say, I'm developing a little crush. But, I'm nowhere near ready to act on any feelings I have right now. Still a bit broken, but slowly picking up the pieces.
  3. Lastchance4luv
    DAY 10 Feeling good
  4. Lastchance4luv
    DAY 9 He contacted me today, twice. I didn't reply. I had a small mental break down, but quickly got myself back together. All in all, I still feel great, and I think I'm making great progress.
  5. Lastchance4luv
    Day 8 Very proud of myself, it's getting easier as the days go by
  6. Lastchance4luv
    DAY 7 He was in my dream last night, ugh. BUT I'm having a great day pretty happy.
  7. Lastchance4luv
    Day 5 I still feel good, and can honestly say I'm happy at the moment. I have amazing friends and family.
  8. Lastchance4luv
    Day 4 Been a month since the break up, and today I still feel good. Planning my birthday bash with friends (all of our birthdays are around the same time). Joining a new gym, and deciding on a tattoo. yayy!
  9. Lastchance4luv
    Day 3 Feeling good
  10. Lastchance4luv
    Day 2 Feeling ok, but also feeling kind of sick today so I'm staying home. Which sucks because I'd rather be doing something to get my mind off him. Oh well. Today I'm feeling over it, but tomorrow? Who knows, I just might turn into a crying mess again. Ugghhhh.
  11. Lastchance4luv
    Day 1 I had to talk to him yesterday about getting his things. I decided to just mail everything to him. This time I am being strict about NC. It's a really hard thing to do. Everytime I think I'm over it, something reminds me of us and I start to cry out of nowhere. This sucks, but I know it's something I have to do. If you love something you have to let it go....and if it comes back then it means so much more...but if it doesn't then at least you will know that it was something you had to go through to grow...
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