THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Morning]

Day 10

I wrote a letter yesterday, but I'm no gonna send it.

[MrSpeed]

Day 22

 

Weird day, saw her from a distance and had a little flutter but otherwise OK. That is the first time in 3 weeks I've seen her and it did feel weird.

[expert01]

Day 1

 

Afterall that's happened and gone on hopefully I can now start to move on for good I hope I can stick to this and I hope the ex doesn't contact me like I asked

[perio]

Day One

 

Well things have gone at light speed in the last 12 hrs for me. I guess I am in the NC zone full on. I feel very ashamed at this point. I have had a few wonderful relationships since my divorce which have ended well and I in fact remain distant friends with these women. It’s distant because of boundary issues. I don’t have anyone to really talk with about this. I am not considering counseling yet. This could pass soon. I am not used to feeling this way. I am a surgeon and my friends would laugh or not give me the support I need. They would simply say send her a postcard from some nice place. I am not that shallow.

Thanks for allowing me to join you all. I have read many of the posts on this thread and am quite impressed with the dialogue.

[Lastchance4luv]

Day 5

 

I still feel good, and can honestly say I'm happy at the moment. I have amazing friends and family.

[michellefourni]

Day 6

 

I can't believe that just last week he was kissing me at Tim Horton's. Tomorrow I'm flying back home.. Since I can't stay the night alone without crying all night, I will stay with my friend. I have the day off Monday so she's going to help keep me busy. Tuesday I will be busy with school. Wednesday I have school and work. Thursday I have school all day. Friday I work first thing in the morning.. then I'm going to try and go out and keep myself busy all night with my friends. Saturday I'll work around three. I just have to keep staying busy. No free time. None. I can't be a lone. Not happening. Not for a longgggg time.

[MrSpeed]

Day 23

 

Had a busy day yesterday, out with good friends, quieter day today, could be a bit of a test.

[Morning]

Day 11

I had another dream about him, we were together, very happy.

I love you, and miss you a lot.

[expert01]

Day 2

 

Contacting her is not an option,and the lies she's telling is just making it easier for me to ignore her if she contacts

[paradoxical]

Day 21 of NC (excluding the time when it was my birthday and he inititaed contact)

Mutual friend just told me that he said that i dont bother initiating contact w him and i don't tell him much about my life now.

uhhh??? i think he was the one who didnt even tell me anything about HIS life and seems so uninterested and cold all our conversations while i try to lighten the mood and DID let him know a bit about my life ... like he knows that recently i've started clubbing. i dont even know what the hell he does with HIS life and i dont think i really care now.

as tempting as it is to start contacting him... i guess i shall continue playing the waiting game... if he really wanted me he would come talk to me i'm done with initiating contact in the past and getting NO REPLIES AT ALL!!!

nonetheless, its kind of a step forward to getting him to meet me... he almost decided to come meet me and my friend today, but in the end he backed off ohwell, wasn't ready for that anyway

[Yostina]

Day 24

 

I don't know how long will I have this strength to hold myself from approaching him, especially that I met him today in college.

It was fast, but he kept looking me in the eye for a couple of seconds and didn't look away. I looked back at him and had no expression at first. I felt him wanting to gently smile at me, then I gave him a real quick smile though it wasn't from my heart as I'm still hurting because of him. I then looked away and went somewhere else.

 

I don't know if he would do anything about us, I desperately wish he does because I don't want to initiate anything this time. It's his time to do it. If he didn't, I'm not sure what will I do.

 

I realize how much I miss him, it hurts...

[Capthxc]

Day 4

 

Shes been gone all day, ive been exerting some of my stalkerish behavior again, trying to see if she added new friends to facebook, if shes logged into WoW and who shes been playing with, how long shes been idle on AIM. I can only assume she went to go visit her sister or something. I've been having some extreme ups and downs. Sometimes i feel on top of the world and that im finally starting to heal, but then i go right back to thinking about some of the times we spent together. I still hear her whisper in my ear "Dont hurt me", from when we first hooked up. I think about that and realize how i broke the most important promise ive ever made, and unintentionally hurt her over the course of a few weeks. It breaks me down and makes me feel worthless. I sit here and wonder if ill ever get over it, or if ill ever find someone as close to my heart as her. I tell myself maybe she just needs to date someone else, or maybe she just needs another few weeks before i try and open the lines again. I try and think about what i want to say to her, i dont want to sound desperate, but i dont want to sound cold at the same time.

 

I think if i do talk to her ill see how shes feeling about everything, and if the time is right, i will just thank her for being the first person ive ever dated to actually make a valid attempt to help me, and tell her that this break up has strengthened the bonds between my family and some old friends. I'm trying to figure out what she would want to hear but i just dont know. She was never the typical girly chick, she never liked getting flowers or being showered in gifts and affection, so that just makes it all the more difficult.

[nanana]

Day 2

 

I've just been terribly hungover all day. I'm going to leave contacting him for a while after the awkwardness of last week, but I fear when I do get in touch, I'll be ignored or rejected. I think we're meant to be on good terms though and still meeting up, but after the serious discussions we had and the emails exchanged, I don't really know... He said he likes our days together and 'would' miss me, not that he 'will', so that implies that he doesn't plan to stop seeing me...

 

I want to call him and tell him that I love him very much. I want to tell him about my night and hear about his, and listen to him make the joke he always makes every time me and my friends go out. I really miss him and a chat would be perfect, but I don't know...

 

My lack of trust in him makes me feel like I'll never chat to him freely again. He's so fickle, and so many times he's turned his back on me. Ohhh. I've got to stay NC for at least 10 days. I need to prove I can be cool and calm. But a small part of me is hoping he'll contact me long before that... And then another part thinks maybe I should shut him out forever so I can't get hurt anymore!

 

I need to take my mind off this and stop obsessing over the outcome. Whatever will be will be.

 

I'm pampering myself now ready for a party tomorrow night. I'll be using the law of attraction and sending out some really positive vibes I hope! Wish me luck, all. I'm petrified that in his mind he's cut me off...

[nanana]

Just to add:

 

I remember when we first broke up. We had a set time of NC with each other and said we wouldn't speak for a few weeks, and then we'd meet up.

 

I remember I then left it 3 weeks, feeling quite positive and calm. I then contacted him, and he ignored me. In fact, he ignored me for 4 months. 3 weeks of telling myself everything would be ok, thinking he'd still be there, only to come to a crashing realisation that in that time he'd decided it's best if we don't speak after all.

 

It was a complete shock when he got in touch 4 months later.

 

What the hell do I do if when I go to speak to him next he just completely ignores me?! Makes me want to stay away forever just so I never have to find out. I will be too devastated...

[pinktroll]

Day 25... still not very good about staying away from his online profiles, but getting better at it! I haven't stopped wondering whether he's met someone new or if he's sleeping around and playing the singles scene, but I realized today that I'm not sure that I care. Almost accidentally called him while trying to delete him from my speed dial but managed to hit the cancel button on my phone in time. (I didn't bother to delete him from my phone since I know his number. I just replaced his name with "DO NOT EVEN TRY.")

[paradoxical]

day 22 of nc . left my comp switched on overnight to upload a video on Facebook. checked the comp in the morning to see that the ex left an offline message saying 'sorry that I couldn't make it in the end. something came up ' haven't replied yet. should I ?? or just ignore?

[hart17]

i will accept this challenge. Starting tomorrow since I already contacted him today.

[MrSpeed]

Day 24

 

Weird day yesterday. Completely on my own for the first time since we broke. Was OK, had some moments though thinking about her, otherwise it was an interesting day.

[expert01]

Day 3

 

So far no problems in this attempt of no contact I'm sure there will be tougher days ahead though

[Morning]

Day 12

Still having dreams.....

[perio]

Day 3

 

Spent the weekend with friends in Portland. I had a very good time. I should have given them a little more credit. They know now what happened had didn’t react as I thought they might. I was careful not to speak too much about the breakup, just the facts. Their feedback has helpful. They believe she is simply overwhelmed with life events at the moment and that she will likely get in touch after she processes for a while. In any case, I remain on the NC tract. I believe it’s best for both of us at this time. I don’t like the thought of convincing someone to do anything. If she doesn’t contact then hopefully I’ll have time to sort my feelings out. I won’t contact her and I am surprised at how easy that may be. At first I thought that might be impossible. Time will tell.

[paradoxical]

ohgod.

broke nc because the ex msned me an apology. so i replied that it was alright.

and the ex said 'okay good

nth to say from thr. ARGH!!! DEAD CONVERSATION??

ohwells time to reset the counter back to 0 -.-

[Yostina]

Day 25

 

Still confused and know not what to do.

[Lastchance4luv]

DAY 7

 

He was in my dream last night, ugh. BUT I'm having a great day pretty happy.

[tujna]

Wow, 9 days... this is the longest we haven't seen each other for a while. We have the same friends and we see each other frequently. It has been a month since we were together for last time. We didn't even have the time to get bored of each other. I just don't understand why he has to end it. As if people are disposable like that. I hate him!! Why do you start something if you have nothing to give? Why do you have to hurt someone like that? And then it is all my fault??

 

I was quite calm yesterday but today I am back to feeling like crap. How will I get over him? I see him all the time. And then it will be time for him to leave. I had inner feeling that things between would work out. I guess I was wrong.

 

Anyway, I will not contact, ever again, but I know I will see him.