bitebenot Posted January 30, 2010 Share Posted January 30, 2010 Thats a good point. After this contact I will make sure it's left open when or if we talk again. I think I'll tell her that she can contact me if she'd like though. And again you give her more power.You will be on the back burner. But then,you decide whats better for you. Link to comment
kvb10 Posted January 30, 2010 Share Posted January 30, 2010 also true... decisions... gonna try to block it out and worry about it when it happens. Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Day 150 5 months of NC... Completed. I feel so much better! I feel like I have learned a lot and have had mental clarity over everything that has happened. I'm proud of myself for pushing on even when things got dark... I knew that the sun will come up, and it did. image removed ^^^ That's how I feel right now... The sun has just come up and I feel free of bitterness, broken heart, all of that stuff... It's basically all gone and been replaced with a refreshing sense of hope and a newfound wisdom on love, life, and everything in between. Everyone... You will feel better! Keep fighting and keep going in NC until you have no more feelings for the ex! And if you want to tie up lose ends (I'm going to try that in a month's time or so), then go ahead! You will become the bigger person in the end. Good luck! Link to comment
bitebenot Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Congratulations to you..i will be there in a month ! Great picture by the way. Link to comment
kvb10 Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 wow. Congratulations vertigo! You have a great achievement. Link to comment
star111 Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 It has to get harder before it can get easier. so true...so true. how soon I forget....... but from experience, that always seems to be the case. Link to comment
FoundYet Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Day 12 Did go out with a friend. Then slept all day. Feel like I'm going backwards instead of forwards. Link to comment
AllByMyself Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Just a question before i consider the NC challenge. It's been a month since i broke up with my ex and in that month i have stayed in contact with her as a friend, she's walked all over me....used me for affection (embracing me, trying to kiss me then doesnt)....I read a post by someone on here saying they are still hurt after 2 years because of been in contact with their ex....I dont wanna be hurt in years to come and so im strongly wanting to do the NC challenge. Okay my question is, will my ex miss me if i go a month without contact or do you think ive held her hand through our break-up, i just want her to miss me a lot Link to comment
kvb10 Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 I am not a pro but it sounds like NC is the way to go. She will definitely miss you. If you are holding her hand through the break up, she is kind of having her cake and eating it too. She hasn't had a chance to see what life is like without you yet. I've been on NC for a week and I feel like it's helped. I know that at the time there is no chance for us to be together again because she fell in love with someone else. But since I was her first, I don't think she realized that it's not as simple as breaking up and going with someone else. I know for a fact she is missing the hell out of me and very depressed this week (her friends told me). If we were still talking, she wouldn't really be missing me so much, she'd probably just be feeling sorry for me and worrying about me. Plus I would still be giving her emotional support and confirming that she did the right thing. Anyways.. I am starting to realize that she wasn't as confused as she thought she was. She was pretty clear when she first said she was in love with someone else, I think it changed to confusion once she realized that it was really over and saw how much she hurt me. Then because she does truly care about me, feels mad at herself for hurting me. NC is the only choice for me because I can't have her feeling guilty or sorry for me if I ever have hopes of winning her back one day. I don't know your whole story but it sounds like NC would be good for you too. Link to comment
kvb10 Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Day 12 Did go out with a friend. Then slept all day. Feel like I'm going backwards instead of forwards. I'm sorry FoundYet. I know how you feel. I had some good days last week but then I had a super low day yesterday. Sometimes I also feel like I'm moving backwards. Everyone keeps promising me it'll get better though. Your wound is still fresh. I think that in our situations (still early) it is okay for us to get our depression feelings out when they surface. Once you get them out, it paves the way for a period of okayness... if that makes sense. Like basically, every time I hit a low moment, I eventually come back up for a few hours.. not to happiness, but to okayness - which is an improvement. You will get there. We all are going to. Link to comment
kvb10 Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Day 7... Almost made it a whole week. Felt a little backtracked on Thursday when I deleted her from my FB but I know that truly it was the best decision for ME. It may have made me look immature, but honestly since she already has another love interest, it was just better for me not to see it. I am sure she understands. She was already shocked the whole time that I have not gotten mad at her for leaving me and said she was blindsided by my calm reaction. Anyways.. today I've made myself a small schedule. I decided it is not going to hurt me to try. If at the end of the day I really feel like I would have been happier being miserable, then I've only wasted one day. Currently interneting and working on some tasks I have been putting off all week. In a couple of hours I'll go for my first run since the break up (normally I am an avid runner) and later today I will go to the gym and do my strength training (been slacking since the break up). This evening I think I will eat a frozen pizza and cookies and rent a movie from iTunes. I'm thinking Smokin Aces 2... NO romantic comedies. Link to comment
mwh67 Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Day 27...i still think about her but not in an upset sad way...more of a memory kind of way...it's odd but i dont miss her like i once did. almost at the month mark i think getting over her will be much easier than i thought when i first started NC Link to comment
FoundYet Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Yeah, Okayness. I get that. An 'okayness' where you've finally started moving again in the real world but still aren't completely a part of it yet. And please don't think removing an ex from FB makes you immature. I don't understand why people think that. Removing someone is a hard choice to do, but it needs to be done when you are trying to start your life without them. That's not immature, it's bold and brave...and good luck with it, as I have failed horribly with it. That's a great schedule, however small. My small schedule, try to switch back to sleeping during the night like normal and staying awake during the day. Link to comment
AllByMyself Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Thanks for your reply. I think it is best for me too, the fact is my ex doesnt think i could not contact her again so if i do this now she will realise that i can do without her and maybe she will start thinking about how much she hurt me. It's tough for me as this was my first relationship, it was my ex's second. It will be hard, but when we first broke up i didnt contact her at all for a few days and on the forum shes on in the 'how are you feeling' thread she kept putting stuff like 'down' and 'low', so hopefully this will make her miss me, i will post my day to day diary of how its going, its going to be tough but with so many people saying they feel better for NC then i am going to give it a shot!!!! Link to comment
kvb10 Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 good luck! come here and read all the threads when you are feeling weak. Link to comment
mark501 Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 think its day 46....still think of her but Im doig good. Have lost 2 stone in 8 weeks ( wasnt THAT big before) and this has helped as Ive had lts of good comments. Link to comment
syxx87 Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Day 27 Staying strong! I would have never thought in a million years, I would go 27 days and four weeks without saying a word to her. I hung out a lot with my roommates and close friends this weekend. We chilled, watched a lot of sports, drank a lot of alcohol, and just laughed a lot. I cant stress enough how vital hanging out with my friends has been for me during this period of NC. I talk to my best friend (who is mutual friend between me and my ex) a lot about my situation and he has been so helpful. He has basically been my shrink through the whole process. I also hung out with a girl I've been kind of talking to for the past couple of weeks. I like her but I can tell I'm holding back some on letting things progress with her. I guess I'm holding back for several reasons such as not wanting to get hurt again, obviously still having feelings for my ex, and I guess because I am just tidbit nervous One month almost complete!!!!!!! Link to comment
jj21 Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Exactly one month of NC today! (nearly 5 months since split) Can't believe i've gone this long, its definitely got better! I've now blocked her on msn and facebook and hiden all updates from her friends and family - This has helped so much I recommend anyone doing it. I still think about her everyday and get down from time to time, but the feeling of hurt has gone. Link to comment
bitebenot Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Also make sure she cant see you on the net.Never answer the phone,listen to messages only.Call her once she wants reconciliation only.Make her work very hard to get you back or she will leave you again shortly after ! Might take some time or to be honest,maybe never ! Just be ready emotionally because it can be a rough ride.Like i said many times before,you get one shot at it,you goof and your fried. Link to comment
kvb10 Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 NC broken... She called... I answered. Here is the thread... I'm kind of annoyed but at least we have closure! I won't be posting about our relationship in the "getting back together" forum anymore. Link to comment
bitebenot Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 NC broken... She called... I answered. Here is the thread... I'm kind of annoyed but at least we have closure! I won't be posting about our relationship in the "getting back together" forum anymore. ] And its time to move on.She might come back in the future,you never know. Link to comment
kvb10 Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Yea it is time to move on. I'm not even sure I want her back in the future though. The phone call gave me some closure and some peace. Now I can HONESTLY for the first time say that NC is about ME. Link to comment
anon12 Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 day 10, got my computer back from the flat we used to share... desktop was a massive picture of her, hundreds of pics, couple of videos, and loads of notes she left me on there over the years. Upset me abit, still am at the min, but no urge to break NC, just more of an anger at what she left behind, for what... stupid girl. Link to comment
AllByMyself Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Day 1 Yep i've been strong today, my ex sent me a txt message though even after me saying to her last night that i need to let her go cos i love her too much, she sent me a txt basically thanking me again for going to Leeds with her for a day out, she also put in the txt msg 'hope your ok' - i was strong though and did not reply to her, hopefully this will work for me!!!! Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Day 151 I'm feeling so bad right now... Yesterday I was doing great and now something triggered a memory about how my ex hurt my feelings beyond belief about how I was a "jealous girl" and I was only like that thanks to him bringing out those horrible feelings! He hated me since the first day we met, I just know it! Link to comment
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