THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[lonesomeloser]

Well, pretty sure NC is broken. I almost broke it today anyway. We've been kinda subtle with facebook posts (poking, her "liking" the stuff I put on there, etc). The other day I became a fan of something she does all the time. Tonight she commented on it saying "Love this!!" I replied with "lol... yeah, I do that all the time for some reason".

 

So, yeah, I think that breaks NC? It actually feels good considering it is the first words I've heard or seen her type to me in 17 days (but who's counting). Oh, and then I "liked" her status update even though it said she just got back from a trip that we were supposed to take together. It's okay, I don't feel bad. I feel happy actually, and glad that I didn't send the text I almost sent earlier today.

 

That does count as breaking NC doesn't it? I mean, it's not much, but it was something.

[vertigoxo]

Day 99

 

I'm alright for the most being. Just so many unanswered questions, though...

[Slick101]

hahaha way to go slick!

 

Day 15 of round two of nc...

Nothing too exciting going on. Just keeping myself busy. I don't have the urge to contact her at all but i do wonder what she's up to. On the bright side i don't have to worry about buying an anniversary gift and a christmas present for the ex this year. I always hated the fact that they were three days apart lol

 

dont wonder what shes up to... Think about how she is now wondering what your up 2... If she knew that you were stressing about her it will make her feel better and put you on the down side... If you are a better man and doing things for yourself and glad she gave you the freedom.. Imagine she saw that about you!!!!!... She would goo crazyyy!!!...

 

How you feel now that you have read that?... Great right... Now go out there and built energy around you..

[Slick101]

stopped taking the anti-depressants today. And thought about contacting her a lot!!

Was a slipped finger away from sending a simple text that said "friends?" but thought about what not getting a reply might do to me. I may need to get a refill...

 

re-fill your life... Its all in your mind.. And your mind and thoughts are not real.. Your dreaming...once you understand this.. You can crush your anti bs pillss....

 

Think about how strong you are...even if your not.. Just thinking that will make you feel better...

 

Meditate.. Go on youtubee

 

come back here in 3 days after you meditated and tell me how you feel?

[Slick101]

why are you freaking out honestly?

What are you afraid of?

[Slick101]

your energy is very low... Holidays are the worst to go through based on psychologists...

 

You need to change your life.. Do soemthing different... Think about all the negatives of her...

 

Better yet read this book

 

"way of the peacful warrior" and understand it..

 

I can guarantee you if you read that and actually apply the concepts you will be over her the next day.. Promised!

 

Hows that for confidence!!!?

[lonesomeloser]

Day 1

 

Made it exactly 2 weeks. Then she made a simple comment on something I put on facebook, and I replied. Nothing major, nothing really... well, maybe a little sentimental. But honestly it feels good. It's good to hear from my friend again even if it was slightly manipulative on my part. Anyway, I replied, so back to NC.

[dezember]

Day 42

 

Staying strong. Not hurting as much anymore, just disappointed and sad. Him throwing away all the years we've been together. Haven't heard a word from him in all this time, although I know through friends he's OK.

 

Got a serious job offer abroad, will probably go for it. Maybe I'm just fleeing from all the memories. But then, it's better to invest the energy in my carreer and not in this spineless jerk

[BobbyC]

Day 20

 

I'm still feeling empty, still feeling anxious and cry, still dream about her and think I hear her come home at night when the house creaks. I'm trying to spend as little time as possible at home. Not necessarily good because after work I'll go to the local bar for dinner and a beer or two. I just can't sit at home alone.

 

I'm contemplating a couple options right now. One is to go on medical leave from work and get out of here to try and clear my head. The problem with that is I would have to return at some point. Another option is to quit and move somewhere else. At least then I would be around my support group, but I would lose my independance. I would have no income, insurance and job prospects are bleak.

 

One of my friends told me the holiday season is a time for miracles. What miracle can I expect?

[lonesomeloser]

Day 1

 

Made it exactly 2 weeks. Then she made a simple comment on something I put on facebook, and I replied. Nothing major, nothing really... well, maybe a little sentimental. But honestly it feels good. It's good to hear from my friend again even if it was slightly manipulative on my part. Anyway, I replied, so back to NC.

 

hmmm... she commented on my latest FB post. And she must be stalking my page because the first comment she posted was for something that would have been 4 days ago (off the news feed by now).

 

This is good. The lightest of light communication may be establishing itself, but this is twice in less than 24hrs that she has initiated a contact that she has avoided for over 17 days previously.

 

Playing it cooler than cool on my side. Not going to even respond directly. Honestly, I just want to be her friend at this point. Nothing more. I lost that somewhere along the way and it hurt real bad, hurt more than losing her as a lover. Thank God I didn't send the text I almost sent the other day...ugh!!... that would have ruined everything I'm sure.

[phaze]

This weekend is going to be tough for a couple reasons. First... it would have been our 7 year anniversary, and second its hannukah. Honestly, I will be surprised if she doesnt send a text for one or the other, but I kind of hope she doesnt. I still want her in my life, but because of her, I have made myself miserable and Im sick of it. Sick of her treatment of me, sick of the way things turned out and sick of the person I allowed myself to become because of her actions.

 

Your situation sounds almost exactly like mine. It would have been our 7th year in 3 days.

 

I've been following this thread now for a bit and unofficially doing NC. She came to grab her stuff with her family last Sunday and I tried to be cool but just broke down. I had a few conversations with her but her family kept interrupting. She said she just wanted to get through the day (because of her family) and would contact me later this week but as I talk to friends with a great deal of insight, its become clear to me that she lost herself along the way. I know eventually she will return to the person she was but I need to continue with my life in the meanwhile. It just sucks because I thought this was the person I would spend the rest of my life with yet I need to force myself to move away from her.

[Melting]

Day 5 /sigh

 

One more day and I have done my best NC yet.

 

I am sooooooooooo going to do this, just thought 5wks on I would feel alot better then I do. I don't cry or get totally miserable, just bouts of sadness come upon me.

 

Bring on the day when I can hold my head high and think of u is just a mere .... nothing

[peanutbutterandjelly]

Day 25... feeling a lot better today than yesterday... Maybe it's because 2 other guys are giving me attention today i know i need to make MYSELF feel better, but it makes me feel good so maybe i should just go along with whatever makes me feel good at the moment.

 

last night i had a dream that i broke NC with my ex. i seem to have these dreams every other night. except this time, he hung out with me after i did it. i think i had this dream because ive been thinking about whther or not i should make an attempt at contact/reconciliation before he moves accross the country in a month.

[supercalifragilistic]

Well, today is day 45 and I feel ok. I'm not sad and I'm not too worried about what will happen. I still want him back but I feel like I fell out of love with him...I don't know how I would react if he were to contact me about getting back together. I would be pretty happy I think, but I just don't know if I feel the same way. I still love him and care about him, but I don't think I'm in love anymore.

 

I feel much better today than I did the last time I posted and I hope I keep feeling better.

 

Day 25... feeling a lot better today than yesterday... Maybe it's because 2 other guys are giving me attention today i know i need to make MYSELF feel better, but it makes me feel good so maybe i should just go along with whatever makes me feel good at the moment.

 

last night i had a dream that i broke NC with my ex. i seem to have these dreams every other night. except this time, he hung out with me after i did it. i think i had this dream because ive been thinking about whther or not i should make an attempt at contact/reconciliation before he moves accross the country in a month.

 

I also dreamed I broke NC! I felt so bad because in my dream I was only 3 days away of my NC goal. We did get back together in the dream, though.

[kt_belle]

Day 25... feeling a lot better today than yesterday... Maybe it's because 2 other guys are giving me attention today i know i need to make MYSELF feel better, but it makes me feel good so maybe i should just go along with whatever makes me feel good at the moment.

 

last night i had a dream that i broke NC with my ex. i seem to have these dreams every other night. except this time, he hung out with me after i did it. i think i had this dream because ive been thinking about whther or not i should make an attempt at contact/reconciliation before he moves accross the country in a month.

 

 

It must be so hard to let go. My ex was going to move at one stage and it just makes things feel so final. The thought that helped me get through that point was "if he did stay and got back together with me, would he always regret not leaving"

[OptomisticGirl]

Day 17 sucks. Today is not a good day.

[OptomisticGirl]

My living situation changed so I did call to let him know I could take the cats. No one picked up so I sent a text.

 

 

I'm not counting this as breaking NC because I had to get a hold of him, I didn't call just because I couldn't take it anymore. Some may not see it that way, but, right now I feel strong. We will see how long this feeling lasts.

[vertigoxo]

Day 100

 

Woohoo! I've reached a 100 days of NC! I'm doing okay, albeit a bit depressed, but overall, I'm happy for the future.

[stargirl1980]

Ok, I need to do NC for 2 different guys:

 

1. Is a guy I've been seeing on and off all year. Right now, we seem to be in a FWB relationship...but I don't really want that. So I think it's good that I stop contacting him.

 

2. Is a guy I slept with once back in October- we knew each other years ago, he said he considered me a friend, and he said he'd like to chill out again afterwards, but he hasn't contacted me or answered me since then.

 

It's been like 8 weeks. I haven't been in full on cling or anything- I've txted maybe once a week or so, to see if he'd like to go to a movie, or get a drink. Nothing. His friend asked me 2 weeks ago if we'd talked, and I told him no. The whole thing confuses me and frustrates me. I txted him today, and said "I DO have feelings/attraction for you- I was hoping we could explore that as adults, before you left the state. (He's moving in 4 months) But I can understand if it's not mutual."

 

No reply. So I feel even more like crap. No sense in ever contacting him again, either, since he's made it pretty clear he has no feelings for me, even as a friend.

 

So Day 0 for both of them.

[bish0p2004]

Haha, I'm doing NC on two ex's too!

 

Day 12

[peanutbutterandjelly]

My living situation changed so I did call to let him know I could take the cats. No one picked up so I sent a text.

 

 

I'm not counting this as breaking NC because I had to get a hold of him, I didn't call just because I couldn't take it anymore. Some may not see it that way, but, right now I feel strong. We will see how long this feeling lasts.

 

yeah, i kinda dont see how this isnt contact... contact is contact.

 

i guess everyone is allowed to go about the challenge and count whatever they want, but didnt you break nc when he called you a week or so too? if youve broken nc twice in the past 17 days, i would definitely think you are in more in LC.

 

not trying to be harsh or anything and were all here to support one another, but id personally start over.

[Mustachio]

your energy is very low... Holidays are the worst to go through based on psychologists...

 

You need to change your life.. Do soemthing different... Think about all the negatives of her...

 

Better yet read this book

 

"way of the peacful warrior" and understand it..

 

I can guarantee you if you read that and actually apply the concepts you will be over her the next day.. Promised!

 

Hows that for confidence!!!?

 

I think it's just the time of year, there is a lot of special times coming up that we shared together that I now will be alone for

 

yes I do need to make changes but they are hard and I am still fighting myself about making changes

 

I can almost guarantee you that there is no way reading one book will instantly make me get over my ex

 

anyways, day 7 of round 3

 

tomorrow would have been our 7 year anniversary... A hot air balloon ride and a ring... Kind of glad I dodged that bullet, but still sad

[supercalifragilistic]

I also dreamed I broke NC! I felt so bad because in my dream I was only 3 days away of my NC goal. We did get back together in the dream, though.

 

Scratch that...the rest of the day sucked and today is not a good day at all. I've spent most of the day thinking about him and wondering why the hell did he leave me...it still doesn't seem real, I still can't believe this happened. What a waste. If he doesn't come back, the past 4 years of my life will have been a waste...of time and money. And if he does come back, I don't know if I could take him back. So, day 46 sucks.

[Melting]

Day 6

 

If I survive today, it will be the longest NC Ive gone in 5wks.

 

I can completely control myself from contacting him now, but I still wake up every morn thinking about everything, him, what happened. I really hate it, cos sometimes it sets my mood for the whole day.

 

I just want to wake up and ur not the first thing there.

 

I think if i wasn't so lonely at times, it would be much easier getting over u. When I fill my days, ur a mere glimpsing thought, that can be pushed away. But when I sit home at night alone, ur all I think of

 

I need that something to fill that void.

[peanutbutterandjelly]

Scratch that...the rest of the day sucked and today is not a good day at all. I've spent most of the day thinking about him and wondering why the hell did he leave me...it still doesn't seem real, I still can't believe this happened. What a waste. If he doesn't come back, the past 4 years of my life will have been a waste...of time and money. And if he does come back, I don't know if I could take him back. So, day 46 sucks.

 

im sorry! hang in there, hun. i was feeling like this a couple of days ago and it really sucks. It took me a few days to get out of my "funk" and feel better again. im still not completely out of it but its getting better. it may take a a couple of days but it will pass. just take it hour by hour, day by day. you're gonna be okay.