THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Ixtapa]

Day 35........

[pdoog]

Day 35. Hanging in there.

[waveseer]

Day whatever. I currently have no desire to communicate.

[imjgh]

just found this site....

 

i can't freaking believe this happened...we have/had a GREAT relationship...i guess this is all about her moving out of state to tend to parents who are ill....

[vertigoxo]

I made a mistake of my last post here thinking it was Day 50. Nope. It's Day 41 now.

 

I feel great. Today is the actual first day where my ex isn't constantly on my mind. It is also the first day where people actually stopped bringing him up. The drama is slowly dying down for sure, and I'm just in a nice, peaceful place in my life now. I've started to read my driver's ed book, getting myself prepared to take the tests to finally get my driver's license. So exciting!

 

Overall... I LOVE MY LIFE!

[HawkeyeDenny]

Day 1 for me, wish me well!!

[FriendnorFoe]

dont remember what day or week it is, lost track. Havent posted on this thread in a while, dont really feel the need to . Just thought Id share a breakthrough I had the other day. For the first time I actually thought, I am happy that we broke up, it really was for the best, it has motivated me to do so much with my life, I also dont feel like getting back together with her anymore, I loved her at one point in my life but that is done with, I want to meet someone else now

[tujna]

Day 30 and Day 1 I guess still 42 since I last saw him.

 

He called... and I didn't even know it was him, haha. I behaved very positively and not needy in the least. He wanted to see whether I needed help with moving and said he wanted to make sure I had someone to help me. I said I would find someone. Pretty friendly. It was nice to hear him. But it a little bit disturbed me. It is all fine I guess. Even picking up the phone must have been an effort for him. For what it is worth, I am assuming that he has not changed his mind and he still wants us to be separated.

[Riverox]

Day 2. Thinking a lot today about how he insulted me so often. Criticizing my appearance, insinuating I was lazy. Why didn't I see what a jerk he was! It makes me angry. He wants to be friends. I am sure he thinks I broke up with him. I am so angry now. I want him to understand what he did to me and feel shame and guilt. I can't believe he thought he had the right to speak to me this way. Once in a fight, he actually said "I brought nothing into your house but happiness". I remember looking at him with disbelief. Earlier that night he had insulted my appearance, said he wasn't attracted to me because of how sloppy I was. He compared me to my best friend and said I should ask her for tips. This was the first time I saw him after a trip. Two days before Valentines Day and the day after my birthday.What a *&&^^%%$$ Jerk!

[hesnotworthit]

day 43

he still loves me. today a mutural friend told me of what he had told her last week during conversation. he told her he still crys over me, getting over the break up was the hardest thing he's ever done, and he still misses me heaps everyday, and cant face not loving me anymore...then he acted all tough at the end saying "but i dont feel much anymore".

i dont know what to make of this. I think its bad, because if i see him out this weekend, it could possibly be more awkard? But then again its good, seeming he acted to me like he got over me in two weeks, and was perfectly fine. Now i know hes been in as much, possibly more misery then me! I dont cry over him anymore, i defintatly dont love him anymore and i dont really miss him everyday, but i do think about him everyday. When i think about him, i get a bit disgusted haha. So i think that i am further over him then he is over me.

Anyhow, since i found out this, ive had these erges too contact him and see what hes up too. No id never get back with him, but i do miss him as a friend, and i want to hear what hes up too... not sure where i will go from here...

[Cat76]

YAY, I'm into the 20's. Go me!!!

 

Thinking about him more as this week is going on, it's his bday on Saturday and I am constantly debating with myself over whether I should say happy birthday. Which is stupid, because i'm sure he wouldn't be doing the same!

 

Anyway, I'm not down or sad, just getting on with stuff

[ScorpiGal83]

YAY, I'm into the 20's. Go me!!!

 

Thinking about him more as this week is going on, it's his bday on Saturday and I am constantly debating with myself over whether I should say happy birthday. Which is stupid, because i'm sure he wouldn't be doing the same!

 

Anyway, I'm not down or sad, just getting on with stuff

 

Wow Cat! Awesome job

 

Day 47. Bleh. Work is taking up all my time now. I hate working I wanna quit.

[Cat76]

Wow Cat! Awesome job

 

Day 47. Bleh. Work is taking up all my time now. I hate working I wanna quit.

 

Thanks SG. I can't wait to get to day 47 too!!!

 

I'm hoping that a new job (potentially, I have an interview on Thursday), and studying will take up all my time too.

 

 

[ToodlePip]

Well, late 40s for me and I get a text this morning, prodding me about my statement about wanting to be friends after we broke up - will go update my other thread. I feel ok by it now - we'll be working in the same office starting next week so am going ot have to face up to bumping into her, and if she needs that reassurance to be civil to me then fine. I've been on some dates, feel like I've accepted she isn't coming back so may as well dip my toe in the water and see what happens. I can always tell her I'm not ready and go back to NC if it feels too much.

[hulk7280]

Day 2 for me.. im def down today.. i know im doing the right thing.. i need to move on.. this is only way..

[Cat76]

Day 2 for me.. im def down today.. i know im doing the right thing.. i need to move on.. this is only way..

 

Hang in there Hulk.

 

I felt much the same way on Day 2 and now I'm up to day 20 (admittedly after a couple of mishaps). On day 2, I never thought I would make it. But here I am, looking forward to day 30/40/50/stopping counting (which I know I will do eventually).

 

 

[mikel01]

Made it through Day 2 and starting Day 3. Woo Hoo!!! I know I can do this.

[Tanzi]

Day 15

 

I feel good, I feel down, I feel good, I feel down. I cry, I laugh, I cry, I laugh!!!

 

Looking forward to the day when I feel good and am laughing all day long

[Ixtapa]

Day 36

Super busy with the new job...not much time to think but I dreamed of him last night. He was very arrogant and distant in the dream....was feeling rather bad when I woke up ...

[hulk7280]

Hang in there Hulk.

 

I felt much the same way on Day 2 and now I'm up to day 20 (admittedly after a couple of mishaps). On day 2, I never thought I would make it. But here I am, looking forward to day 30/40/50/stopping counting (which I know I will do eventually).

 

 

 

thank you... today is a rough one.. this really sucks.. why does love have to be so complicated and hurt so much?

[Cat76]

thank you... today is a rough one.. this really sucks.. why does love have to be so complicated and hurt so much?

 

*hugs*

 

It's tough because:

 

1) Opening our hearts to someone means we also make ourselves vulnerable and open to hurt

 

2) Because we let it (thats the cruel to be kind bit)

 

I really struggled at first and it is a cliche to say time is a healer, but it's true. We can either give up or pick ourselves up, dust ourselves down and move on to bigger and better things.

 

I've taken great strength from the fact that I haven't contacted my ex, it has a snowball effect. There were bad days, but they are now bad moments and soon they won't be there at all.

 

I'm concentrating on the people who want me in their life, even if they are on the other side of the country (which in my case, a lot of my friends are) and also concentrating on myself.

 

Hope this helps a little bit and it makes sense.

[hulk7280]

yes it does.. im just trying to take it one day of NC at a time

[HawkeyeDenny]

Day 2 almost over unless she calls me late. She tried to IM me in facebook and posted to my wall and sent me a virtual gift. I think I need to end all activity in facebook because she can see that I am alive if I am posting and won't give the impression that I dropped off the face of the earth. What have others done? Delete the ex as a friend or just stay out of social networking sites?

[pdoog]

I would suggest either leaving the social networking site for some time, or just removing her as a friend. If you keep her as a friend you may feel pressure to see what she is upto.

 

 

 

Day 36 or 37.

 

Living life and hanging in there. I do still wish she would contact me but I am not really holding my breathe. I have more important things to worry about now.

[ScorpiGal83]

Day 48

 

Just got a new personal trainer at the gym. he's kinda cute.