mikel01
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Posts
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Joined
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Days Won
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mikel01's Achievements
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Thanks. I will look at it that way. I don't know it I will get the closure from him. It is most likely from within me and me forgiving and forgetting. He was a good guy, but we were in different places in our lives. I understand his need to move on and explore different options. He broke up with me by email after 3 and half years of in a serious relationship. Not only was it by email. It was only two lines. I just want more then that and I feel that the time that we had together deserves more then two lines. I am still a bit hurt and angry at that. I just want him to tell me that I was an important part of his life and that I am a good beautiful person but just not the one for him. I don't know if that will make things better, but at least it is something. Thanks for the support. I hope that you too will find your closure.
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It is supposed to be Day 12, but I couldn't complete the challenge. I broke NC today by emailing him. It was really short though. He'll be back in the states in less then two weeks. I just wrote "just wanted to wish you a safe trip home" and that was it. I don't expect a response. I really think what happened was that I just thought about him coming back and there would be a slim chance that we would talk. We haven't talked at all since the break up almost 4 months ago except for a few "hope you're doing well" or suggestions on stuff emails. It was 3 and a half years that we were together, and a part of me doesn't have enough closure since he broke up with me when we were doing the long distance thing. I am hoping for a meeting, but am not sure about the outcome. I guess by sending him that short message I am trying to show that he can still reach out if he wants to. I'm just weak right now.
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Day 10 - I have dreams of him every night. Usually when I wake it doesn't affect me at all. But for some reason last night was more vivid then the others and I am finding myself thinking about him through out the day so far. Hopefully it'll go away by this afternoon.
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Day 9 - WOW!!! The days are flying by. Getting rid of his stuff and deleting him from facebook as made a big difference. I no longer have any thing that reminds me of him lying around the apartment and it has helped me when I am home. Still missing him, but understanding that you can't make someone be with you if they aren't capable of doing so.
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Day 7 and I dropped off the rest of his stuff at his dad's house today. He won't be back into the country for another 2 weeks so he wasn't there. I ran out of there so fast before anyone saw the water works. Now I feel good. A huge weight off my shoulders. I am definitely on the road to recovery. I still miss him, but I am having peace with it all.
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I'm sorry about that. It's a lesson learned and you don't need to be with someone who is cold and heartless anyway. Best to you. Day 6 I am so much better today. My mindset is different and it's partially because I don't try to read or write about the break up anymore. When I get that urge, I get up and go do something for 10 minutes. Am I over it? NO!!! But I am trying to look forward to MY future. Also, today I am dropping of the rest of his belongings at his dad's house. My place will be clear of him and I think that will help a lot. I decided that breaking up is hard enough, but it's definitely worst when you are living with the person. Will try to stay away from that for the time being.
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I am on Day 5 of NC and 3.5 months after the break up. Had some ups and downs and LC. Well today I am doing very good. Things are happening and I am embracing it all with a open heart an an open mind. I though my life was falling apart little did I know it was falling together.
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Made it through Day 3. It was tough, but I did it. Now on to Day 4 and I feel good. I am beginning to appreciate the break up because I am making decisions for my future that I would not even fathom before because it would not have included him. Last night I started to think. When I was with him, I had him but not much else because my focus was on him and him only. It wasn't his fault. It was my own and I take responsibility for myself. I no longer have him in my life, but now I have so much more so the I think the trade off is in my favor. Thanks M*******. You did a good thing.
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Going to Day 3 - I want to contact him so bad today. Today is the anniversary of his grandfather's dead, and I know he is hurting today. His grandfather raised him and was the closest person to him. I just want to reach out and give him a hug. But I know he has a lot on his mind, and the last thing he needs is to have to think about me. *sigh*
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Made it through Day 2 and starting Day 3. Woo Hoo!!! I know I can do this.
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Oh Boy. Day 1 officially begins again after LC for a little bit. So far so good.