THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Cat76]

Hiya, don't do it! Your doing really well, post on here instead.

 

You just have to take it one day at a time and do be too hard on yourself if you have a bad day or moment

[Tanzi]

Hiya, don't do it! Your doing really well, post on here instead.

 

You just have to take it one day at a time and do be too hard on yourself if you have a bad day or moment

 

 

Hi Cat

 

Thank you.

 

Yes it definitely helps coming on here. And the encouragement and inspiration has been amazing. I'm so glad I found ENA and its members!

 

PS. Good luck with your exam next week BTW.

[Talus]

End of day 3

 

From the first night we met and drunkenly started going out ha, we hadn't gone a full day I think, without contacting each other. Be it a msg, chat on MSN, simple facebook msg, phone call etc. So now it's been 3. No idea what's happening in her life, how she's feeling, what she's thinking etc. etc.

 

It sucks. But I know it is helping and I'm really starting to get my thoughts around this all. I've actually accepted it all now. I've gone through a lot of reasons in my head as to why things went the way they did. And I think overall the big failure was timing.

 

She's been in love before, I haven't. All these emotions were new to me and actually turned me into someone else. Not drastically, but a lot of what makes me, me, was gone, and a bunch of new issues were popping up all over the place. There was a lot going on in our lives as well that really made things worse and yea. She also took me for granted towards the end and got really just frustrated in general.

 

She's 18 and I'm 19. So anyways, I really think the main issue here was timing, and from that stemmed all these other problems. I think both of us were not ready, though I think I was "blinded" by love on this one, for this kind of a relationship, for different reasons.

 

Now don't get me wrong, this is the most amazing girl I have ever met and one I could definitely see myself with in the future, and one I would definitely like to share a future with. And she has said that about me too... even after breaking up she always maintained that this may not be it and if things worked out then she could definitely see herself with me in the future.

 

So now with all that in my mind I have fully accepted this. I've accepted that this is the way things are and that if we are going to be together again, it's gonna have to be possibly 2 years down the track, or whenever we are both ready. There is a VERY good chance we won't be, and that this is it. But with the way things were, the connection we have, the immediate comfort around each other, the way we just click, I think there is also a decent chance that if we met up wayyyyy down the track things could definitely work out and we could have another shot. Depending on where we both are in our lives that is, but still, I won't rule it out.

 

I have no hope though. This is it, whether it be forever or whatever. I accept it and I'm stoked I got to have the best 6 months of my life with such an amazing and gorgeous girl and have some of the funniest experiences I think I'll ever have. If things work out in the future then sweeeet. But for now and a very long time I gotta grow, experience life, travel, meet people, improve the areas I want to and need to and just enjoy life without too much stresses.

 

I still think about her almost every couple of minutes, still miss her so much it hurts, still wonder what she's up to and how her family is, how work is and what she's thinking, still look at photos and old msgs/notes and still sleep with her photo beside my bed. She's gorgeous, I'm proud to say she was my girlfriend and proud to know her better than anyone and to be able to say I love her.

 

So yea. 3rd day. And it's been a good one.

[Ixtapa]

Day 30

Starting to think less about him.....

[pdoog]

Day 30. It was a rough road but I got there. I will say that I feel a little better then on day 1 but of course she still pops up in my mind and I do wish the break up never happened and we were in each others arms. Oh well now onto try to do 60 days.

[le_sex]

day ten and no contact with ex and i think im finally getting over her!

[voivod]

every time i start no contact she calls or needs or wants something.

 

i've never gotten very good at saying no to her.

 

advice?

 

ps-i don't think she could handle no contact although she is the dumper.

[FriendnorFoe]

every time i start no contact she calls or needs or wants something.

 

i've never gotten very good at saying no to her.

 

advice?

 

ps-i don't think she could handle no contact although she is the dumper.

 

yea, start getting good at saying no to her, if you think she cant handle it, more of a reason to be in NC, this will allow her to miss you more. You have to ask yourself, Do I wanna be with this girl 100% as her boyfriend or nothing at all, or do I value her friendship above all else and could see us still being friends?

[voivod]

yea, start getting good at saying no to her, if you think she cant handle it, more of a reason to be in NC, this will allow her to miss you more. You have to ask yourself, Do I wanna be with this girl 100% as her boyfriend or nothing at all, or do I value her friendship above all else and could see us still being friends?

 

well, she's my wife, we're separated, long gory story. no infidelity but a lot if s#it.

 

i value her friendship a ton. she might disagree, but i'd say we're best friends.

but i want the whole enchilada back.

 

fyi-i was the one she had take care of her van tonight when it quit running. she knew i would!

[tujna]

day 25 37 since I haven't seen him.

 

5 more to go... I still miss him, I still love him, this will take much longer than I ever imagined.

 

FriendnorFoe, how is it possible that you healed in 40 days??? I want to know the CURE. Someone give me the cure!!

[ScorpiGal83]

God how I wished I felt like that.

 

Hey there jellybaby

 

It took me more than 30 days to feel that way... you're only on Day 9, don't worry it takes time but you will get there if you want to.

 

By the way, why don't you block him on Facebook? It made my life so much easier because I didn't have to deal with his news updates or seeing him commenting on stuff through mutual friend's pages and stuff... it's a really, really good way to get through this faster and stronger.

 

Good luck and keep up the good work!!

 

Day 42.. ho hum.

[LostSolace]

40 days does sound pretty miraculous..

 

3 and a half months broken up now..just about 2 weeks NC..Not nice..am tempted to make one more try. No begging, no pleading..just a proposition to meet up and speak about a few things.

 

May not be a good idea..but I feel strong enough that I can tolerate a rejection.

[Sunkist09]

Good job guys. I am proud of you. I am doing great. Dating around... life is alot better..

[Cat76]

Day 15

 

I feel a bit weird today. Not sure why. I'm not exactly missing the ex, just missing someone been around.

 

I'm ok, just having a little wobble. Normality will be resumed soon

[pace of ace]

Day 15

 

I feel a bit weird today. Not sure why. I'm not exactly missing the ex, just missing someone been around.

 

I'm ok, just having a little wobble. Normality will be resumed soon

 

 

You're allowed a wobble cat. But seeing out the wobble will hold you in good stead for future wobbles.

 

...wobble

[Cat76]

You're allowed a wobble cat. But seeing out the wobble will hold you in good stead for future wobbles.

 

...wobble

 

I shall continue to wobble away Thanks for the encouragement Pace.

 

(Maybe it's just that multiple of 5 curse come to haunt me again...LOL)

[manup7228]

Dont know the day exactly but 4 or 5 weeks since ive heard or seen from her. I was so tempted to unblock her on facebook and check it out but my head told me no and i listened. I think that is making progress. Anyways, I still miss her alot and dont think she is going to contact me for a very long time, but i think my sadness is more a result of my insecurities more than anything else.

[Tanzi]

why don't you block him on Facebook?

 

I don't often go on FB much anymore so its not really been a problem before. I think I will remove him now, however. We met on a dating site and have both been on others before (both of us have been married before). I know which ones he was on (and probably still is) and with some of them you can see who he has added as "friends" and comments etc. I haven't looked at them so I don't know what his movements are but the temptation is there everyday. He reckons he isn't interested in the dating site scene at the moment. Whether or not he is not, I would rather not know. It would just cause me tremendous pain to know that he may have found someone on one of them and is interacting with them the way we used to.

 

I was really down yestereday and the urge was driving me mad. I got through the day tho without "searching" for him and today I think I have my "urges" under control!!!!!

 

Day 10 ..... wahooooooooo double figures!! Onwards and upwards

[Tanzi]

Day 15

 

I feel a bit weird today. Not sure why. I'm not exactly missing the ex, just missing someone been around.

 

I'm ok, just having a little wobble. Normality will be resumed soon

 

Hi Cat

 

We all have our "wobbles". Hang on in there. You have done brilliantly so far.

 

I had a major tremor yesterday but today back to normal. Whatever "normal" is lol.

[hesnotworthit]

DAY 38

havnt been on for couple days, thought it wise to cut down on talking about him everyday. but perhaps it was an unwise dection after all. today i broke a NC promise i made to myself, i went on his myspace. the week after we broke up, i went on his myspace and ran screaming and yelling-crying from it (drama queen i know), because i saw he started talking to heaps of girls (which he normally hadnt while we were dating), two days after we broke up. i banned myself from viewing his myspace for a year, so that i wouldnt be so hurt and upset again. but today i just did it...i knew what i was doing, but i was just curious to see how he is, seeming i havnt heard anything in so long. hes updated his profile blerb, with heaps of sleezy things like "who id like to meet: some hot chicks" "girls are a hot part of my life", hahah it made me laugh at amusment of how many girls would have instantly been turned off by his shallow comments. No new photos...added several girls to his top friends, talked to many other girls. My head felt heavy the whole time i looked at it. But now i dont feel upset in the slightest and satisfied by knowing a little about his life. i know this was a bad thing to do, in order for me to move on i should not care what hes up too, but i just did. Hopefully the last time.

 

On the wk he ran into my sister while 'out', he called out to her "hey!" several times, she ignored him, as she knows i dislike him now, then she ran into him again and he yelled out her name even more times, so she finally aknowledged him, then as she turned to go she over heard him telling all the people he was with "oh thats (my name)'s sister". He knows were really close. I cant help but anlyse this as maybe he wants me to know something about him? Why would he inform, point out his ex's sister to all his friends? And if he had a gf, he obviously wouldnt bring up an ex! So i cant help but think hes not over me yet either... This is a good thing, not because it could hold a possiblity for a reconsiliation (id never take or ask him back), but because it means he still would be in pain, even if its a tenth of what im experiencing trying to heal from the heart break id be happy.

 

May be going out to common ground in a couple weeks, havnt decided wether ill go or not yet however..

die die die already

[Cat76]

Hi Cat

 

We all have our "wobbles". Hang on in there. You have done brilliantly so far.

 

I had a major tremor yesterday but today back to normal. Whatever "normal" is lol.

 

Thanks...its good to get it out on here. I don't want to contact him or anything like that. I know it's all for the best.

 

I'm just wobbling through the day...wobble wobble wobble...LOL

 

I'm glad your having a good day today

 

 

[Tanzi]

Feeling lonely and under-confident, still.

 

I think we can all relate to that. When a relationship breaks down our confidence takes a knocking. It is just another thing to work on. But you can do it!!

 

Judging from your previous posts you've had better days, you are just having a bad time of it today... or "wobble" as Cat would call it. And we all have them. We wouln't be human if we didn't.

[hisgirl0507]

made it through my first day,still all over the place wondering if im doing the right thing and going over in my mind whether to reply if he contacts,will probably hear from him on sunday.i feel so weak,if he asked to come over id probably say yes at this point but im stickin to the nc from my side and will deal with it when and if he contacts.

[Tanzi]

made it through my first day,still all over the place wondering if im doing the right thing and going over in my mind whether to reply if he contacts,will probably hear from him on sunday.i feel so weak,if he asked to come over id probably say yes at this point but im stickin to the nc from my side and will deal with it when and if he contacts.

 

 

Thats all we can do. Take each day as it comes and deal with things as and when the happen. Its best not to try to worry too much about "what ifs" and "what whens" otherwise we will drive ourselves crazy Well done you for deciding on NC and getting through your first day.

[Ixtapa]

Day 31.......