THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[hesnotworthit]

It seems to me that you have conquered the hardest part. The rest will all soon follow. Hang on in there. You've come so far already. Well done!!

 

Thanks so much for the encouragement i think i was just having a couple rough days. And your doing awsomely too, for so early into your NC!

[hesnotworthit]

DAY 35

today was a lot better. suprisngly so, seeming i was forced away from my friends at school as part of one of my courses.

last night, i was thinking, although i was letting go of him, i was still secretly wanting and waiting for him to break NC just for my satisfaction, to let him know how great im doing and all the fab things im up to, without him. Then i realized, i dont need his contact, his clarification, his knowing of what im up too, in order to break away. i was still finding another way to allow him to intitle my happiness. So i put a stop to it, and told myself to stop waiting for him. Im letting go of him completely. I no longer want or need him to break NC, im so much better off without him completely.

On another note, i had quite a frightening nightmare last nite, that made a huge impression on me...so me being the want-to-know-everything-person i am, looked it up on a dream site. And it said the meaning was that "some important and significant relationship has been severed and you are trying to disconnect yourself from your emotions to it" and that i was trying to "excommunicate" it from my life....so so so true. Funny, how spot on my dreams are.

Didnt think much of him today. I really hope the yesterday and the day before, where my last "down" periods of the aftermath of the breakup. This time i really hope im letting go. And that i can really move on from all this to bigger and better things.

I hope he becomes dead to me soon.

[Talus]

Hey hesnotworthit I just read your post and got interested in this looking up of a dream meaning. I never even thought to do that. But seeing as yours was actually accurate I thought I'd do the same out of curiosity.

 

Today is the first official day of NC after meeting with her last night. Anyways I dreamt last night that we were together and it was like this big social event thing, anyways we were always kissing and stuff and then going off with our friends and meeting up again. Anyways I went off and started kicking the footy with some mates then tried to find her but couldn't. I don't know why but I knew something was wrong. I went around the back of a building and went up to a door and I heard screams. I opened the door and for some reason went slowly around the corner(I knew I should've burst open, but felt almost like in slow motion) and this big guy came at me with a pair of pliers in his hand. I grabbed them and the dream ended. Anyways I knew she was in there and this guy was torturing her with a pair of pliers.

 

Awesome dream, but HORRIBLE ending, which pretty much makes it a nightmare. Anyways looking up some stuff now on dream moods and thinking of the symbolism.

 

Checked out pliers: To see a pair of pliers in your dream, suggests that you need to draw out all the details of a situation before you make a decision about it. Alternatively, you may need to rid yourself of something from your life. and pull it out of the way.

 

Checked out torture: To dream that you are torturing others or see others being tortured, suggests that you are punishing yourself for your own negative or bad habits. You are projecting yourself onto the person or animal being tortured. Consider the symbolism of who is being tortured.

 

Checked out kidnap: To dream that someone has been kidnapped, indicates that you are not letting aspects and characteristics of that person be expressed within you. You are trying to contain and/or suppress those qualities of the kidnapped person.

 

Checked out slow: To dream that you are moving in slow motion, signifies that you are presently going through a hard time and experiencing some great stress in your waking life. You may be feeling powerless in a situation

 

Checked out door: To dream that you are entering through a door, signifies new opportunities that will be presented before you. You are entering into a new stage in your life and moving from one level of consciousness to another.�In particular, a door that opens to the outside, signifies your need to be more accessible to others, whereas a door that opens into the inside, denotes your desire for inner exploration and self-discovery.

 

Sooooo yea... interesting stuff!!!

[Ixtapa]

Day 28 (4)

Wow, its been 4 weeks since I sent him my last message. Feeling much better after my first day at a my new job. I will finally will much busier than before....it will for sure keep me from thinking too much !!!

[pdoog]

Day 28. Missing her but not so upset or depressed anymore. I think she has been logging into my facebook account and snooping on me. So I changed my password.

[Cat76]

Day 12, I think. I have to keep going back to my previous posts to remind myself.

 

It's a horrible day outside where I live, rainy and windy. But thats ok

 

I got an email from the ex mother in law (she wanted to keep in touch with me). Apprently the ex is ill again (he has an ongoing medical issue, nothing serious, just effects his energy and it means he sleeps a lot), and I just thought what an idiot complaining about being a a bit tired/exhausted. Believe me he is a lazy g*t as well (he has the perfect illness for him...LOL). There is a ex military guy who has been in the news, who had both his legs injured in Iraq. He was told that he would never walk again, but he did and is completing the London Marathon (2 miles a day). Now that is impressive.

 

Grrr, vent, grrrr

 

I feel much better now

[Talus]

Start day 2 of NC.

 

It's been close to 3 weeks since we broke up. Feeling the effects of all this as I'm now so run down I'm getting sick. Thing is I never get sick, the last time was probably 5 months ago and she made me sick lol. Time before that would've been over a year or 2. Sleeping's an issue atm. Gotten into a real bad routine. Also my eating hasn't been very good, I'm studying to be a personal trainer so my eating is normally VERY good. Haven't yet made it back to the gym, was meant to be going this morning and getting back into everything, but now I'm getting sick lol. Sooooo there goes that idea.

 

Also dreams about her haven't stopped. Every single night for the last 2 weeks 5 days I've dreamt about her, except literally only 1 or 2 nights. Dreams usually that she breaks up with me, we're still together or one of us is trying to get back together. Meh.

 

Ever since we broke up my moods have been so up and down and the downs are usually triggered by some sort of memory. Atm, I'm having an up and not thinking about things too much and just feeling good.

 

I've set a goal of saving around $15,000 by the end of the year/start of next year so I can go on a 45 day contiki tour all around Europe and the Greek Isles with a mate and big bunch of randoms. Also 'cus I love snowboarding, looking to save up for 2 weeks or so snowboarding in Canada or Austria. So I'm starting to look forward to the future, rather than see it all as doom and gloom without the ex.

 

Also the Pizza place I work will be opening for lunches as of next Monday so will hopefully getting roughly twice the amount of work and just looking forward to getting more money.

[Tanzi]

Day 12, I think. I have to keep going back to my previous posts to remind myself.

 

 

Lol same here.

 

 

Day 8

 

I'm feeling more positive today. I didn't break NC yesterday, as I said I might do in my post, something kicked in and stopped me.

 

I woke up this morning feeling different. I can't explain it but I certainly felt almost "normal". Most mornings when I wake up it takes a few seconds for reality to kick in ... and when it does, it hits me like a ten tonne truck. Today, however that truck didn't hit me. I even waited for it. However, I think its on its way now but its approaching me slower and with less effect.

 

Oh who am I kidding its only Day 8. That truck will be there tomorrow waiting for me to wake up. It must have stopped off for breakfast somewhere this morning!!!

 

 

 

PM

 

Wow its got me. That bloody truck has hit. An image of my ex-boyfriend with someone else popped into my mind and there it was, ... that crushing feeling. I don't even know if he is seeing someone. I have my suspicions but I don't know and neither do I want to - just thinking that he is hurts enough. I knew it would get me in the end.

[ScorpiGal83]

Day 40

 

Hey hesnotworthit I just read your post and got interested in this looking up of a dream meaning. I never even thought to do that. But seeing as yours was actually accurate I thought I'd do the same out of curiosity.

 

On another note, i had quite a frightening nightmare last nite, that made a huge impression on me...so me being the want-to-know-everything-person i am, looked it up on a dream site. And it said the meaning was that "some important and significant relationship has been severed and you are trying to disconnect yourself from your emotions to it" and that i was trying to "excommunicate" it from my life....so so so true. Funny, how spot on my dreams are.

 

 

Where do you guys look up dreams? which website?

 

I've had my fair share of crazy dreams since the breakup, though not all were abt the ex.. heck, I've always had crazy dreams, that's why I love sleeping so much!

[Talus]

link removed - that's where I found mine. It's all based on words though so try to think of the symbolism in your dream. Like mine, pliers, I thought that'd be stupid and it'd mean something to do with being a handyman or something but the actuall meaning was crazy. Also thing's that maybe aren't so noticeable like the slow motion bit in mine which probably wouldn't stand out as much.

 

I'm still REALLY skeptical, just was shocked at what my dream actually turned out to "mean". Pretty funny though.

[Cat76]

Hello Peeps, how are we all?

 

I've been far to jolly for the past few days

 

Day 13 for me and I'm not going to break NC anytime soon. Although it is his bday on the 16th. I'm undecided as to whether I should sent a message.

 

I've met someone online (never done that before) and we are just chatting and getting to know each other at the moment. But it's a nice distraction and he seems pleasant. We spookily have lots in common. Only problem is that he is 6ft6 tall and I'm a teeny weeny 5ft3. Anybody have any experiences of going out with someone eally tall. I know it shouldn't be an issue, but you have to think about the logisitcs of these things...LOL LOL LOL

[Talus]

Night of day 2... Ouch. It always hurts so much at night. She's all I can think of. Just want to drive to her place, like 2 mins from mine, and just run up to her room and give her a massive hug. I'm glad she's out of my life though... I'd still be crying if she wasn't and deep down I know the only reason I still even wanted to attempt friendship before this was so I could still see her and I could still have a little hope and I was in denial of the situation. Well not glad... not really the right sort of wording. I hate that she's out of my life... so much. Hate that it had to be this way. But if she's ever going to be in my life again however it be then it has to be this way.

 

Today was good though. I've really thought about travelling and stuff and started feeling OK about things... it's just night time that's the absolute killer and when everything comes flooding back. Just feel so alone. I know I'm not, but feels like there's a part of me that's so empty and the only way to fill it is to see or hear from her. I know it's only day 2 though, so just gotta keep push on.

[Tanzi]

I've met someone online (never done that before) and we are just chatting and getting to know each other at the moment. But it's a nice distraction and he seems pleasant. We spookily have lots in common. Only problem is that he is 6ft6 tall and I'm a teeny weeny 5ft3. Anybody have any experiences of going out with someone eally tall. I know it shouldn't be an issue, but you have to think about the logisitcs of these things...LOL LOL LOL

 

 

Go you!!!

 

Can't give you advice on the height issue - you may have to meet up before you yourself can know if it is a problem or not. Then you can start another thread lol

[papalazarou]

And still this thread keeps going!

 

Excellent!

[tujna]

And still this thread keeps going!

 

Excellent!

 

It is so nice when you the "oldies" return to give some hope to the newbies here Very glad to hear that things have worked out fine for you!!

[Ixtapa]

Day 29 (5)

Yay....broke my two previous records of 28 days of NC. My goal is to reach 60 days...so 31 more days to go Still thinking a lot about him......but feeling fine overall

[FigureItOut]

Not sure what day of NC it is (I think around 17?). I've been doing everything (and I mean everything) I can think of to distract myself from how much I miss him. A good friend from college flew to visit me this weekend and just left, and now I am heading out of town for several days again for my brother's college graduation. I also planned 2 three day weekends at the beach after that. Still no contact, still fearful, with a bit more self pity thrown in there as time passes. and boy, is time passing SLOWLY. These last two and a half weeks have felt like an enternity. It feels like it has been ages since I've spoken to him. Is this normal? I really miss him, a lot.

[FigureItOut]

Also, I am really starting to see results from working out! Clothes are much loser and I am starting to notice a lot more definition in the muscle areas I have been working on. Yay for that at least!!!

[ToodlePip]

Well, I went past day 30 a couple of days ago. Not a peep from her for 30 days, no attempt from me to get in touch with her. Been on two dates, Kinda got myself in order - ish - and still working towards bettering myself. Have a long way to go on a personal level but I can see he beginnings of a life plan and I'm actually, for the first time in my life, enjoying being single. Not too sure what to do next - I STILL miss her friendship, and feel ok within myself at the thought of her being with someone else.

 

However, I can't seem to face unblocking her from facebook. So I'm taking that as a sign I'm not ready. So gonna keep in NC for now, day by day, and see what comes of it.

 

I hope everyone is well and I can confirm that 30 days is doable and clears the head nicely!

[ScorpiGal83]

Hi ToodlePip,

 

you sound like you're doing well. Like you, I feel like I miss his friendship and can't face unblocking him from Facebook even though I know I'd feel ok if he was with someone else...

 

A mutual friend added some photos taken waaay back in Oct 08, and there was one with me in it so he tagged me... the next photo had my ex in it. I felt weird. I remember not feeling attracted to him anymore towards the end, but in that photo I had to admit he looked good. It made me miss his warm hugs, how he was so much taller than me (I'm 5'8"-5'9" so it's not easy finding taller guys you know), and his hugs used to just envelope me..

 

but i didn't think about kissing him or sexing him. so is that a good thing or does it just not mean anything?? sighhh...

 

Day 41..

[hisgirl0507]

im starting my first official day of nc,please read my latest thread and feel free to leave any comments,really need all the support i can get to help me through this.its going to be really hard.

[Cat76]

im starting my first official day of nc,please read my latest thread and feel free to leave any comments,really need all the support i can get to help me through this.its going to be really hard.

 

Don't worry, you'll get lots of encouragement and support. It does get easier

[Cat76]

I've got my books out to do some revision for my exam next week So I'm keeping busy.

 

Not thinking about the ex that much. I wish I had found out about this NC thing years ago. It's a great way to get over it.

 

 

[pace of ace]

Keep it up guys. Good work all round!

[Tanzi]

Like you, I feel like I miss his friendship and can't face unblocking him from Facebook even though I know I'd feel ok if he was with someone else...

 

 

 

God how I wished I felt like that. Its Day 8 for me and I'm not having a good one.

 

Yesterday was a strange day ... It started off good, then there was a bad period then I felt pretty damn good again. I couldn't work out what I ever saw in him and decided that I was wayyyyyyy to good for him lol. He will never find another me!!!!!

 

Perhaps its because I didn't get much sleep last night but today is definitely one of the hardest so far. Thoughts of him with someone else seem to be constant today. I have such an overwhelming urge to check out his Facebook. I have this horrible anxious feeling hanging over me. I thought I had got over that particular urge but it is overpowering me today.

 

I've just got to get through today ... nice bath and early night, me thinks, and hopefully I will wake up feeling a whole lot better tomorrow. I hope so. I feel like I'm fighting with myself here and its exhauting!!! ](*,)

 

Sorry to be on such a downer folks. Reading all the posts on here is really helping me tho.

 

Keep up all your good work.

 

 

Oops today is actually day 9 - better than I thought!