Getting back together really does happen!

[onelifeonelove]

So is mine but I'm expecting him to flake out at any given moment so hopefully I'll get a chance to make things right. If not I just hope she's happy and I'll continue to continue on and kill a whole bunch of deer

 

Exactly how I'm feeling too. He's definitely a rebound idk about yours though. She talked to him a week after breakup and she would tell me how supportive he is and I'm like "LOOL ok". I also hope mines to be happy too no matter what happens I'll be enjoying my free time with friend and working out and getting fit to further boost my confidence.

[Capttrae]

Dude, this ol boy my ol lady is screwin or what ever she's doing takes more selfies than a woman. He's a nice lookin guy don't get me wrong, but I near about guarantee u the first time she stresses out and don't know what to do or needs him to do something, he's gone. Bc he's got plenty if little chicks to choose from. She'll be back, I may not be home much but she knew I was able to take care of things

[onelifeonelove]

Dude, this ol boy my ol lady is screwin or what ever she's doing takes more selfies than a woman. He's a nice lookin guy don't get me wrong, but I near about guarantee u the first time she stresses out and don't know what to do or needs him to do something, he's gone. Bc he's got plenty if little chicks to choose from. She'll be back, I may not be home much but she knew I was able to take care of things

 

Lol same with my ex except they're supposedly not dating and supposedly not nearby so I'm good. She already complained to me about him once and then backed it up and said it's okay though lmao. Girls, how confused can they be? Sometimes they just don't see the guy who will be willing to do anything for them to make them happy -.-

[sushiboat]

BUMP.

 

This thread has given me hope! Maybe one day, I'll get the chance to write my own successful reconciliation story, too. My fingers are crossed for a bright, beautiful future.

 

Now if anyone else has anymore stories, please post them!

[onelifeonelove]

BUMP.

 

This thread has given me hope! Maybe one day, I'll get the chance to write my own successful reconciliation story, too. My fingers are crossed for a bright, beautiful future.

 

Now if anyone else has anymore stories, please post them!

 

It gives me hope too! I don't have a story yet but I hope to have one. If not, then #ForeverAlone

[Newday101]

I've seen it happen all the time...

 

My mom: had a boyfriend when she was 18, they broke up when she met my dad. 25 years later they found each other and got married.

My aunt: Married my Uncle, divorced him. Remarried him 10 years later. Divorced him again, another 10 years they live together as roommates-best of friends.

A friend: dated a guy for 4 years. Moved out because she didn't think he could give her what she needed. 4 months later, they got back together.

My cousin: Just got married after 9 years. they broke up a few times, even moved out and stayed apart for 4+ months

Me: All of my exes have wanted to get back together with the exception of one but we both knew it was over after 10 years and I was okay with it. He's very happy with his wife and I'm happy for him. The only other one is my latest ex and he better come back haha! I still talk to all of my exes. One is married (would leave his wife if i asked), another is married (same deal), another is single and we have gotten together as friends for years now, another was a brief fling and we still talk on occasion.

 

My advice is to walk away. Just walk away. I know it's hard. I know it kills. Trust me I get it. My last break up is the worst I've experienced. He is with someone else right now (6weeks- probably a rebound). When he told me he wanted to date others I walked away. I have been NC for the most part. He did text me the 31st day of NC, go figure. It was brief. My situation is different, we work together so going total NC is difficult. BUT! I will say this. You know deep in your soul/heart if there is anything left even when they walk away. It's our own insecurities that keep us from the knowledge of whether or nor they will come back. My ex this time around will be back again. Not tomorrow, not next month but he will be. I know this because I know the one that left me for good is the one I knew for sure it was over with and I was at peace with it. There is no peace here. If you don't feel peace with the break up neither do they and in time they will be back. How they come back is up to you and them....At the end of the day, you have to move on. The heart lets go when it wants to, we have no control over this. Just because you move on or they moved on, doesn't mean their heart has and it may never. I have 3 exes that will love me until the day I die. It's just a fact. The heart loves what it loves and it never forgets.

 

I'll end on a few more happy endings...

 

a friend: she broke up with her boyfriend 2 years ago, he cheated and didn't want her. they are now friends and he would love to be back together. she wont forgive. that's her choice.

a friend: left her bf for another man for 5 months, lived with the guy. decided to go back to her ex. they stayed together another couple of years. and then grew a part.

a friend- her bf of a year broke up with her. called her a month later to take him back after going complete NC.

 

I have endless stories...Loves always comes back. Always...Does it stay? that's up to you

[S.Ken]

I broke up and got back together with a girl three times within a 6 year period. Now we don't even talk to each other and I have trouble remembering her face.

 

So yeah... technically getting back together really does happen.

[LifeasMe]

My sister broke up with her ex who she 'dated' for around a year just after high school over something trivial. Think he dumped her.

 

Went on to have a four or five (?) year relationship with the father of my nephew, living together - and if I remember rightly briefly got engaged. The relationship was rocky to say the least.

 

She randomly bumped into her ex on a night out and promptly broke up with her then fiance (?) and got back together with her ex. They have been together now for around ten years and live together, happy as Larry. Completely NC the whole time they were apart (not sure how long that was 5-7 years maybe?).

 

Pretty sure they also split up for a week or so, possibly less at one point if I remember rightly.

 

Myself... of seven from what I would call 'serious' relationships... all but one have come back, but I chose not to reconcile with any of them. In all cases I have been the dumpee.

 

Only two of note:

Both BF nos. 1 and 2 mirrored each other's behaviour... (on separate occasions) each left me for another girl around six months into each relationship... after around two months they each dumped their new girls and asked for another chance... initially I took each of them back and I dated each for a total of five years each. At four years, each of them then broke it off/on/off/on for a number of months (too young, wanted to do other things, etc,etc.), until the last time they both asked for another chance after a few weeks NC... where I had had enough of each of them and did not reconcile.

 

Both never had another serious relationship until bf no. 1 married ten years after we broke up (but would leave his wife tomorrow for me) and bf no. 2 died without being in another LTR (I hadn't seen him for over ten years at that point).

 

I think this thread is brilliant... however, while we all wish and hope for the fairytale ending, the morale of the story is DO NOT put your life on hold for anyone. There is hope, but more importantly, there is YOU.

[telegraph ave]

im going to search through this thread for stories that have to do with this but if anyone has any they can share with me now about getting back together after cheating? Any stories of either side forgiving whoever cheated and everything working out? i will most likely make a new thread for my story.

[onelifeonelove]

Very interesting read! I love how you put it in words, because what you say is true. I'm not having false hope in my situation, but I am seeing things clearer each and every day of NC.

 

I walked away when I found out that the more I begged, the more angry she got and the more I pushed her away towards her "rebound". What we had was special, something she'll never be able to forget unless she somehow lost her memory we broke up on somewhat good terms, but like you said, there was no peace to it. Just didn't feel like it was over.

 

2nd week of NC, and things are getting better each and every day. I will always love her though, no matter what happens in our future!

[Newday101]

When there is peace, there is an end. Whether you're back together or ended for the last time. It may take months or years but it always comes back around.

 

Telegraph-I have a few stories about cheating.

 

Me- I was with someone for a few years and found out he never broke up with his ex. We talked, fought, almost killed each other (lol oh love is grand) and worked it out. I later realized he had other issues and walked away. Now, let me say that was 6 years ago. He and I still talk all the time. sometimes once a day. In fact he called me two hours ago. We are very close. AND! he still talks to the ex and so do I. That is life going full circle. There was a lot of hurt feelings in the beginning, but when you deal with the situation completely you can let go of anger and move on. We all moved on. (if you're looking for hope, the door is open for me to take him back at any time and I have thought about it.)

My Aunt-My uncle cheated more than once and she took him back. Divorced him, remarried him, divorced him again and now they are best friends who live together.

Me again- my latest ex. Left to find himself...he needed space. in guy terms that means, date other girls! who knew??? I didn't until now. He bounced a few girls in two months, found the latest and they are together. 6 weeks so far. Would I forgive. Yes. Why? Because I understand why he did what he did even though he doesn't understand it. Would I take him back? Well, that's a different story. Has he grown? Does he understand what he did. Is the GIGS out of his system, is he ready to grow up, how is our communication. Can I tell him what a jerk he was for leaving me and not working it out. Can I wake up in the morning and have peace and happiness. Can I go to sleep next to him and not think who else was next to him without crying/getting angry?...If I can answer "yes" to all of these questions then we may have a chance.

 

Cheating is a whole other beast. It takes two very strong, vulnerable people who will put in the time and the effort to make it work. You essentially took an egg and smashed it onto the floor and expect it go back together again. Impossible. If you can't be better than you were, there's no point. You can't be the same and you definitely can't be worse. Only better. The same-someone will cheat again. Worse-you'll fight and tear each other apart until you destroy all the love you had.

 

More Stories-

 

A friend- with her bf for 5 years. he cheated. she stayed and forgave.

A friend- Husband has cheated more than once. they are together for 13 years. she forgave and they will be together until the end.

A friend- loved a guy, they dated. he left her for GIGS for 3 years...They started dating again. Now they've been in a committed relationship for a year.

 

I have more but you get the point. You can forgive but you have to ask why. And if the person deserves your forgiveness. Not all cheaters should be forgiven. Some do. Only the person who was cheated on can answer that. And if you're the cheater, give that person every reason why they should consider being vulnerable again. Because it's so much easier to meet someone new than to go back to a place that was so beautifully painful.

[LifeasMe]

Just thought of two more... with different outcomes... my male cousins who are brothers:

 

Brother#1

Had a long-term relationship with a girl, madly in love, planning their life together... she left him at around four years as she didn't feel she loved him any more. He was devastated. She contacted him a few months later to say she had made a terrible mistake and wanted to get back together. He refused and a few months later met his current wife.

 

Brother#2

Met a girl at work who was ten years older than him. He was smitten, she was wary of the age gap. They dated for a few months, when it was getting serious, she pulled away. They occasionally met, but she refused anything more. He changed jobs, didn't see her for about a year, then they started talking again, officially became a couple and are now married with a little girl.

[Reflective82]

Feeling down and reading this thread thought would post one:

 

My friend broke up with her bf as she lost attraction and feelings-- she didn't feel he had his life together and it wasn't attractive to her.

 

He didn't contact her ONCE- don't know how as I never can-- she was great for 2 months then suddenly something happened and she just went crazy and really wanted him back because he had never been in touch!!

 

They are back together now and I tink it's going ok

[Kai2014]

Don't let the haters get you down! If you are meant to be together it will happen, and no one can take away your hope!!!

 

Once again a big thank you and hugs to all on this thread! Been spiralling a bit downwards thanks to the autumn weather here in the FRG but this thread motivates me and makes me smile time and again!

Yes one has to REALLY let go and detach; but when the heart stays filled with unconditional love chances are good some day if both partners are courageous enough.I have seen couples separate for between 2 months to over a year and come back together and it worked out great as they were willing to leave their own ego and understand and care for the partner first and foremost.

And yes some days are extremely difficult when there is fear and uncertainty on our voyage.But that truly means courage in finding ourselves. Relationships are not the source, but the destination of our happiness...

 

Wishing you all energy to hold through!

[Kai2014]

Thanky NEWDAY101 and reflective82:

 

My friend broke up with her bf as she lost attraction and feelings-- she didn't feel he had his life together and it wasn't attractive to her../QUOTE]

 

Same thing happened to me after nearly 8 years this summer and my gf went into a relationship 24hours later

Well us being over 35 and till now everything used to be great but yes it is a good buffer of time now to really work on myself and get life going on in a better way.I too do believe things can't just end on the spot when both still have some deep feeling and I certainly have no peace with this abruptness (having been without a single day of fights or quarrels at all right up until the end).

 

So thanks for both your posts! At last my sunday looks better and I shall start an upward spiral

[itwillbeokay]

my ex returned to me after a year. we are taking it extremely slow and letting life evolve our relationships. I'm a lucky one.

 

Keep your heads up! even if your ex doesn't come back, make sure YOU love YOURSELF and your relationship with yourself is the strongest relationship you have!!

 

[Newday101]

I just thought of a girl I work with.

 

She met a boy when she was 17. They dated for a few years and she decided to dump him. He was too immature for her and she wanted out of the relationship. She met someone new and moved in with him. Her ex dated others too but still told her he still loved her. She told him to move on, she was done. A year later, still living with the new guy she had a change of heart. She dumped the guy, and went back to her ex. that was 2 years ago. They now live together and are expecting their first child together. They plan to get married soon. she's very happy. AND she has said she was glad they have the separation. She realized how much he meant to her and he realized what he had to change for her to go back to him.

[telegraph ave]

so i guess after the break up it doesn't really matter if either person find someone else to date, there is still a possibility it seems. i find that crazy

[telegraph ave]

so i guess after the break up it doesn't really matter if either person find someone else to date, there is still a possibility it seems. i find that crazy

 

also i know there arent any specific statistics but i read a couple of older post sin this thread and noticed some were saying "guys come back more often than girls do" is that in any way true?

[erklat]

also i know there arent any specific statistics but i read a couple of older post sin this thread and noticed some were saying "guys come back more often than girls do" is that in any way true?

It is not gender related in any way.

[imconfused11]

Just thought I'd update everyone on my situation as promised. It's been 5 months since the break up, 2 months ago my ex came to see me at my house. He admitted that he left me to be with someone else but realized that "the grass isn't greener" (his words) and wanted me back. We've been taking things very slow for the past 2 months. I still hold a lot of hurt and anger, it will be a long, hard road to regain the trust. My fear is that I may never fully trust him again and in the back of my mind I will always be waiting for the day that he leaves me for someone new again. Reconciliation is a lot harder than I expected it to be, but I still love him so I am willing to give him another chance.

[erklat]

I hoped for similar scenario for months upon months. Next week will be a year since the breakup.

 

Now I say that, when someone shows you they are perfectly capable of breaking your heart without a second though - Believe them.

[mochi8]

My own experience: We dated for 8 years and suddenly my other half tells me he lost the feeling and broke up with me. Another reason was his mom didn't approve of me. We were separated for about two months and then we got back together.

 

Now we have dated for 9 years and recently married and have a three months old baby girl.

 

----

I know it is very hard to not think about someone who shared a part of your life with. Slowly, you have to move on and concentrate on yourself. If they truly love you, they will realize how much they miss you and can't live without you in their life. I noticed girls feel the pain first, then slowly it mellows out and get better. While guys feels the pain later. They think the grass is greener on the other side. Stay strong everyone. I know it is hard, but you have to care for yourself first.

[sushiboat]

Bump! This thread is very uplifting.

[NICEMAN99]

mine is complicated but..

we split up for 6 months she filed for divorce.. the week i move out....and few days before divorce was finalized she called me we got back had a beautiful boy and where happy for 3 years....

same thing happened again...we split up again for the same reasons as 3 years ago.

will ever get back together....i would say there is a good chance she will come back.....but i cant live like this.

so on my side are minimals