Getting back together really does happen!

[kate1985]

So many of these reconcilations seem to happen to people who had been dating for only a year or two.

 

Does anyone have stories of reconciliation where partners have been together for MANY years and then split and THEN later on get back together???

I would really love to hear something along those lines.

 

I posted about my parents a few pages back, but anyways they were together for 5 years, broke up with NC for over a year, got back together and got married.

[markyspark]

Thats fantastic Kate it all worked out in the end

[DigitalSpy]

Long term relationships do get back together after breakups. But in my opinion there is normally another realtionship in between. Think about it, after 4 years + with the same person, and it didnt work out. You would certainly want to meet someone else, even if just to make a comparison to check what you just lost was normal, or infact better! So they normally take longer before they reconcile or even get back in contact.

 

I have some friends who were high school sweethearts, never thought they would break up. Ultimately they did after a few years (3 I think) anyway they lost contact with one another and eventually both met some one new each. Both of these failed, and they then both found another new partner. Again they failed. after a couple of years they managed to locate each other and have been together ever since. So about...13 years! kids, married the lot and happy!

 

I also know some other friends of the family that were broke up early twenties....they found each other when they were early 40's and started things again. I think they are both mid early 50's now so its been atleast 10 years. Fair enough it was a huge time gap of almost 20 years but in the end they found each other again.... and claim they have never been happier. Life works in mysterious ways!

[TheGriff]

I think maybe the reason why you don't hear as many really long-term relationship getting back together, is because by the end of the relationship, both parties have exhausted what they could to save the relationship. Perhaps, with shorter relationship, there's more of that "what if?" thought process.

 

I agree with this.

[paradiselost]

A get back together which I am not sure is a good one but still they got back together.

 

A friend of mine has been seeing a guy for 4 years. In those 4 years they have lived together, broken up about 3 times, moved out and in again etc. It is not a healthy relationship.

 

Over summer he admitted to cheating on her when he goes abroad, even got a girl half his age pregnant but she had an ectoptic pregnancy.

 

Anyhows he tries to patch it up with her and gives her a diamond ring of his committment (but not marriage proposal) and pays for cosmetic surgery for her breast enlargement.

 

She tries to be with him, however she also finds out he has been sleeping with prostitues.

 

It all gets too much and over summer they broke up. She was a mess, he tried to get her back. She told him sort your life out.

 

Anyhows about 8 months and she wants to meet today as she is back together with him to tell me what happened.

 

So despite all the craziness and weirdness of this relationship they are back together which goes to show its always possible - now how much of a good and healthy thing this is will reveal itself over time but still they got back together!

[paradiselost]

ok so just heard another weird story from one of my best friends this second.

 

She was with her guy for 4 years - break up was really bad, she spent the first 1.5 years totally messed up, councillors the lot - she said he was a narcissist.

 

She evenutally moves on, had flings etc and was seeing a guy the last 10 months who turned out to be an alcoholic. They broke up about a week ago and this Sunday is going to collect his things.

 

About a year ago her ex got in touch and every few months would tell he missed her etc but she tried to concentrate on this relationship with the alcholic.

 

In total 3 years have passed since that break up.

 

She called him a few days and she said the moment they met the chemistry was great and it all came back and they are now seeing each other - she said no strings attached but dont believe that, but we'll see.

 

Again because I know of the hardship she went through I dont know how good this is, but maybe it could be that they were immature etc the first time round.

 

We'll see - geez I just hope my guy whom I want doesnt go back to his ex of 7 years and moves on with his life to me!

[Janeiac]

My guy came back into my arms. It's not completely settled, but we are giving it a shot. I never thought we'd be seeing each other again, but we are!

[paradiselost]

Congrats Janeiac - what the vitals?

 

How long together?

How long apart?

How did you get him back?

Did you use NC, LC or CC?

[Janeiac]

I posted elsewhere:

 

 

[mhowe]

My ex came back as well ---- together for 1.5 yrs, friends for 7 years, apart for 3.5 months, went NC right away for 2 months, ran into him, chatted for 10 min. and went back to NC for another 6 weeks. He called me up, came over to talk, and spent 3 hrs taking complete responsiblity for the "break" in our relationship. One of the things he mentioned was that my acceptance of the time apart, as well as my demeanor when we ran into each other, made him feel as though I respected his position, even though he knew he had hurt me by his actions. We are just beginning the reconciliation process, but his ability to articulate what happened and express not only remorse but how much he loves me, leads me to believe we are now at the beginning of a new life together.

[newlife2011]

I completely forgot a story about one of my best friends.

She was dating her bf for 4 years. He dumped her because he was confused and wanted to go out there and date others. 3 months passed and she got a new bf. He came back to her and they got married. However, 3 years into the marriage she cheated on him with her ex-ex bf and eventually divorced him and is currently with the other guy.

[faithful14]

Just heard three getting back together stories on the radio lol.

 

I heard the last one...the lady marries the love of her life and they live happily for three years until they get divorced. They move on with their lives and FIFTEEN YEARS later they bump into each other again. They are getting remarried this summer on the beach.

[Kailynn]

I have one that's really close to home.

 

I'll start with the successful one. My parents met when they were 19-20 years old. They dated for around 9 months or so and then my dad dumped my mom. He then proceeded to date all my moms friends. One year later they got back together. Now, at age 48 and 50 they're still together.

 

This one,while I wouldn't say successful, it's pretty close. I dated a guy 8 months. He broke up with me saying he didn't love me anymore,he wanted me to never talk to him again and so on. I wash heartbroken. All it took was 1 month of NC for him to talk to me and now, 4 years later, he's still trying to win me back. Too bad I was way over it. Sorry bro, treat me like crap and I'll do better, which did!

[Grace696]

This one is pretty bizarre and concerns my very own big sister.

 

Seventeen years ago my sister had her first and only lesbian relationship with a woman, Fi. It lasted only a couple of months or so, and then my sister decided she really prefers men, and ended things. Fi did all the most extreme crazy things we do when we are dumped, including attempting suicide, but of course it did nothing to change my sister's mind. For the next 17 years they had no contact, went their own ways, forgot about each other.

 

Early this year Fi found my sister on Facebook, and they connected again. In the intervening years, Fi had had a sex change, and is now a man. She happened to be coming on vacation to the city my sister now lives in, which is on the opposite side of the world from where they were originally together. They met up, sparks flew again, and they ended up having a fling. My sister says it was very weird hanging out with someone you used to date who is now another gender - like being in a dream where people keep changing into other people. But the connection and the attraction were undeniable.

 

Ultimately Fi decided they really are not compatible anyway, and things have ended again, so it's not really a reconciliation story. But it just goes to show: you NEVER know how life is going to turn out or when you might reconnect with someone from your past who you really never thought you would see again. On the opposite side of the world, 17 years later, and a different gender, Fi got her second chance.

[faithful14]

Wow, that is a weird story. Do you think Fi had a sex change for your sister?

[brokendancer]

This is a story that someone told me on another forum. It gives me hope.

 

I am going to tell you about my best friend, "Kathi".

Kathi dated a string of douchebag losers...that abused her, cheated on her, and killed her self esteem.

One of them, I'll call him "Pig", she stayed with for 5 yrs. He had a child that she bonded with, she was even friendly with the baby's mother. He cheated on her REPEATEDLY, and didn't even try to hide it. She didn't want to leave because she loved his daughter, and she thought she could "change" Pig. Well they had a "life" talk one afternoon, and she said she wanted to get married and have babies. Pig said that he'd BTDT, and didn't want any more children, or a piece of paper legally giving all his stuff to someone else.

Pig.

 

She found some courage and broke up with him.

 

Shortly afterwards she met "Bob". Bob worked in the small strip mall she worked in, and she had a crush on him for a long time. Finally, Bob sent her flowers and asked her out. She felt the lightening, and the thunder and the OMG HE'S EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED. (There's an age difference between them too, she's older). They began to date, but never really officially said they were exclusively dating.

 

So, at this point, Pig shows back up, all pissy that Kathi isn't pining for him, and WHAM! Suddenly HE wants to marry her! Have 10 babies! Gives her a line of "we were together for a long time, don't you OWE "us" a chance to work?" and Kathi falls for it.

She begins "dating" Pig AND Bob, but Bob didn't know.

 

I told Kathi "you're playing with fire, and you're going to get burned" but she didn't want to listen.

 

MONTHS went by, and she was physically intimate with both men.

 

Bob talked constantly of marriage, while Pig just called her at 2 am to ask her to "come over".

 

Finally, FINALLY, Kathi realized Bob was it. He was what she wanted. She told Pig this, and Pig was mad. Pig waited for Kathi to leave, and then he called Bob, and told him all about the months of "getting back together" he shared with Kathi.

 

Bob immediately dumped Kathi.

 

Kathi, was remorseful, cried, begged for another chance. Kathi even took out a HUGE ad in our local paper, that said "Bob, I can never say I'm sorry enough. I was so wrong, and I love you" and Bob was unmoved.

 

Kathi started seeing a counselor, and got help for her issues. A YEAR went by, and Kathi went one a couple of dates, but nothing more. She heard Bob was seeing someone and it killed her. But she respected him, and stayed away.

 

Another friend of ours got married during October of this particular year. The day after the wedding, Bob came to Kathi's and asked her to talk.

 

2 yrs later, they were married.

[Grace696]

Wow, that is a weird story. Do you think Fi had a sex change for your sister?

 

No no, it definitely wasn't anything to do with that, and she'd long since forgotten about my sister when she had the sex change. Still pretty weird though, huh!

[DN]

Not a lot of difference in character and morals between Kathi and 'Pig' in my opinion except that perhaps 'Pig' is more honest. The only one I feel slightly sorry for is Bob.

[helloh]

bump, this is my fav. thread.

[Carus]

definitely one of the most weird ones I've ever read!

[michelle21689]

definitely one of the most weird ones I've ever read!

 

LMAO!

 

I find it funny hehe

[Trevster2420]

My girl acts like I'm nothing right now, we were together for 3 years and it hurts I emailed her the other day to ask to meet up and told her if she couldnt I respect that and understand she had alot of studying to do!

 

I am doing good. I'm really busy with studying but thanks for the offer. Hope things are going good for you.

 

That was her reply so I just believe she wasnt ready! Because it wasn't a total let down bc she actually replied back as well! Any thoughts if maybe I can still get her back like on this forum!

 

Also to add a story my aunt and uncle split up when there were both in high school, my aunt said my uncle just dropped her and didn't speak to her or anything he just wanted to party!

 

She started to see other people and at the moment she was starting that she got a phone call from him begging and telling her how he messed up and now they have been together and married for 20+ years!

[wordup7]

It is hard to search for success stories on the internet for the simple reason that if there is successful reconciliation the hurt party involved will probably stop coming to these boards for support. Or, they will get over it and stop coming here for support. I know for a fact that if my recent ex called me and asked to get back together that I probably would stop surfing the internet for advice on how to fix a breakup. There are valid points on here, NC is a great tool for getting yourself back. If you want to keep in touch with your ex at the cost of your healing, nothing is going to stop you. Sometimes the dumpee makes several mistakes and kicks himself while trying to atone for those mistakes (that's me). Other times the dumper treats the dumpee like crap and yet the dumpee still wants to return, those are the saddest ones for me. The one thing that I hate the most is all of these websites selling bs ebooks about how if you dont buy them your ex is going to slip onto another man's junk, those websites are literally the most disgusting form of manipulation I have witnessed. So called con-artists trying to get some poor, depressed soul who has their ego/feelings hurt to spend their hard earned money. Not to say that the advice is bad, it's just the marketing is downright manipulative.

[wordup7]

I think maybe the reason why you don't hear as many really long-term relationship getting back together, is because by the end of the relationship, both parties have exhausted what they could to save the relationship. Perhaps, with shorter relationship, there's more of that "what if?" thought process.

 

I have always thought that it is sometimes easier to get back together if there are things that have not been explored between two people. Maybe I am just telling myself that. In my experience when two people in an LTR grow apart, it's usually because they tried to fix things and it just did not work out. If you are with someone for a shorter period of time and one of you did something the other did not like (neglectful behavior; never cheating, do not go back to a cheater) I feel like there could be a chance to fix. I have had LTRs fall apart and was completely ok with it, yet had something shorter fall apart and felt awful because I a. acted like a neglectful game-playing ass, b. I felt like there was so much more I wanted to do with that person.

[tony777]

I'm in the same boat as you...I didn't play games but I didn't talk the relationship that seriously...