The_Seeker Posted October 12, 2010 Share Posted October 12, 2010 I have a question after reading this thread...it maybe kind off topic but I'll throw it out there anyways, in terms of having a successful reconciliation (meaning marriage, children, and living happily), does it matter if you have broken up two times, three times, four times? I know some say if you have broken up once or twice before, then it's a bad sign. I'm interested in hearing people's opinions? My parents haven't divorce each other yet. LOL They always talked about it. When they argued, they go full-blown argument. My mom would say she would want a divorce due to my dad's crazy attitude and not be able to handle situations. My dad on the other hand would be if that's what you want, then fine. He would walk outside to cool off. I could of sworn there are times I thought they would get divorce. But after the cool off they would sorry and laugh about it. I don't know my parents are crazy but boy it is funny when they fight. I guess it depends on the couple if they can handle the intense argument and laugh about it later. I'm 22, so if they had a chance to divorce the number of times that they agreed to would have been at least 15. They never did. Link to comment
faithful14 Posted October 12, 2010 Share Posted October 12, 2010 I don't understand how there are some couple out there who go on and off for years and then somehow, they get it right in the end and move forward together. Link to comment
thekid55 Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 I think sometimes you need to lose something in order to realize its true value. But I agree, more than once would be alarming. Link to comment
markyspark Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 we had a couple of minor arguments before we split up - my issue is that her family are pulling the strings..so any hope I've got is minimal...as they will have poisoned her mind against me Link to comment
brokenhurt Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 @Above ahhhhh i hate these families .why the hell they do this.brother same happened to me her family poisoned her mind against me by saying all men are bad,they always do crapy things,he will treat you like puppet blah blah i hate this sh!t Link to comment
howinvoluntary Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 I don't know if posting a story involving a couple over thirty years ago is valid or not. It is, however, what has always given me strength in relationships. The people that it involves are the sole reason for the great depth of love and compassion that I possess. It's about my parents. My dad knocked my mom up in college. He was a few years older than her. She was in her early twenties. I believe my dad was my mom's first serious relationship. My dad had one before her, but he recently told me that he never was in love prior to meeting my mom. Anyway, they were together for a couple years before she got pregnant. My dad was an extremely caring person, but at that stage in his life he was not ready to settle. My mom, on the other hand, never carried any doubt that my dad was the one for her. Once my mom got pregnant, my dad freaked out and left her. He was unable to commit, and my mom ended up dropping out of college to go live with her grandmother for support. During this time, my mom was very strong, and told my dad up front that her child would not have a part time father. Either he was fully committed, or he was out. My dad struggled for months to commit. To this day, he is one of the most adventurous people you can meet, and he simply was not ready for either a child or marriage. But after some months, he finally came through. I would imagine that it would have been easy to demonize him at that point in time. I'm not sure what kind of advice my mom was receiving, but she grew up in a highly religious household and she got knocked up by a closet atheist. None of this could have been easy. But my dad did eventually come through. They married a little over a month before my older brother's birth. And growing up, I must say that I took their love for granted. I thought every child's parents were as in love as mine. They were always absolutely obsessed with one another. They had their challenges of course, but all in all, I thought love was ridiculously easy. Every time I had a crush on a girl growing up, I could see how our lives would unfold together. Just like my parents, it would be so simple. Going on two years ago, my mom passed away due to complications from a rare form of cancer. She fought for twelve years before her passing. No one, including my mom's family and our family friends, has ever seen a person as dedicated to someone else's struggle than my dad was. He was there every step of the way. He knew more about her medical condition than her nurses did. Even on her worst days, my dad was confident that she would out live him. After all, it was her confidence in him that convinced him to go the route he did in life, and he never regretted it for a moment. I am now going through my first serious break up, but considering what my dad has had to go through, I really can’t complain. I actually see a lot of the same elements in my ex that my dad possesses. Her independent nature is part of the reason I love her so much, but that is probably wishful thinking. Regardless, I know that sometimes people do deserve second chances. They just have to prove it. 2 Link to comment
sunday2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 wonderful story i do wish you the very best... it was a great read and very poignant Link to comment
pillowtalk Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 I know a bunch of people who have gotten back together. My friend dumped her boyfriend of two years, they went NC. They both had their own separate flings with others during that time. They got together three months later, and now they're been married for two years! My ex-boyfriend's sister broke up with her boyfriend, but he didn't take no for an answer. Chased her down, got her back, and now they're married, too. Friends I knew split after four years, more mutual than anything. They each went their own ways for 8-9 months, dated other people, moved on with life. They reconnected and now they're engaged. And I at least know of 5-6 more unsuccessful reconciliation stories, where they just ended up breaking up again, but yes -- getting back together happens a lot. If there was real love in a relationship, and broke up for reasons other than abuse or cheating, I think it's quite likely that people will at least toy with the idea of getting back together with a former love. Maybe the timing was off, or someone moved away, or they were too young and didn't have enough life experience. I still have hopes of getting back together with my ex one day. But I know in every successful reconciliation story I've heard, both parties MOVED ON. When you focus on making yourself happy, everything else will feel good and fall into place as they should. 1 Link to comment
thekid55 Posted October 21, 2010 Share Posted October 21, 2010 Bump. Anyone got anything new? Link to comment
tillyy Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 I was going to post just the one and then I heard another today. First one; I don't know the ins and outs but they were together for a couple of years & then broke up for about a year (I'm pretty sure they remained friends the whole time) and then got back together again and got engaged a couple of months ago after being together for about another year again. Second one; again I don't know exactly what happened but they were married for 20 years, got divorced and a year later, they are now getting married again this coming weekend. Link to comment
faithful14 Posted October 27, 2010 Share Posted October 27, 2010 Does anyone else have any stories to share? It's been a hard week so far so anything positive at this point would help. Link to comment
user1988 Posted October 27, 2010 Share Posted October 27, 2010 1st bf: dated senior year of high school, after a year broke up with me, a year and some odd months later we went out again, I dumped him for good. I just didn't want him anymore, still don't understand what I saw in him. 2nd bf: dated 8 months, broke up for 4, got back together for about another year, now broken up again. time will only tell if we'll be back together. Link to comment
Happens4aReason Posted October 27, 2010 Share Posted October 27, 2010 Wow!! That is a real motivator... It definitely proves what many people say "If it is meant to be, it will be".. Am the dumpee.. NC for 16 days.. BU one month ago.. Hope she comes back to me .. Link to comment
brokenhurt Posted October 27, 2010 Share Posted October 27, 2010 it surely does happen because nothing is impossible but it happens very rarely .it only happens if both people are broken-up on good terms or atleast only crying and begging is involved nothing more than it .when the break-ups happen on bad terms like exchange of harsh/bitter words ,stalking,insulting than its not possible or atleast very difficult to get back together atleast i havent heard any story of getting back together after horrible/worse break-up Link to comment
tillyy Posted October 27, 2010 Share Posted October 27, 2010 it surely does happen because nothing is impossible but it happens very rarely .it only happens if both people are broken-up on good terms or atleast only crying and begging is involved nothing more than it .when the break-ups happen on bad terms like exchange of harsh/bitter words ,stalking,insulting than its not possible or atleast very difficult to get back together atleast i havent heard any story of getting back together after horrible/worse break-up It happens more often than you'd think, most people just don't talk about it so you don't hear about it and what you're saying wasn't the case for me. There were more than a few bitter words exchanged etc after the breakup and we got back together a year later. No one can ever know, even people who say they never will get back together and are sure of it sometimes happen to get back together. Things are said in the heat of the moment that often aren't really meant so you can't go by those words alone. You can never really know. Link to comment
brokenhurt Posted October 27, 2010 Share Posted October 27, 2010 It happens more often than you'd think, most people just don't talk about it so you don't hear about it and what you're saying wasn't the case for me. There were more than a few bitter words exchanged etc after the breakup and we got back together a year later. No one can ever know, even people who say they never will get back together and are sure of it sometimes happen to get back together. Things are said in the heat of the moment that often aren't really meant so you can't go by those words alone. You can never really know. i agree with bold part when i broke-up with my gf 5 years ago (she by the way was my cousin) she created a mess in whole family ,she made my whole family against me and everyone was looking at me like i have done 100 murders ,but i kept cool coz i knew she is doing this out of hurt and anger but important thing is you have to keep in mind that every person doesnot understand it ,some may tolerate it later but some never till their death.like my recent gf who broke-up me after 3 years was expecting me to leave her like princess after she dumped me so cruelly ,even her family mother and aunt said me with so much cool attitude "why you are crying ,it was just a relationship,its over now there is no big deal in it" they all wanted to let her go with a smile on my face and possibly with a break-up party lol but when i reacted in anger they abused me and switched off theri contacts to throw me out of their lives.they never understood or atleast never wanted to that everyone in hurt and ager react in a bad way ,you have to forgive them so my point was not every person is same in your case you got lucky that your bf understood that you havent said that deliberately but most people can never understand,you can never compare nad predict human psychology by the way i will like to know your break-up and getting back story coz um going through same patch ,if you dont mind can you pm me or provide me the link where you have posted that story Link to comment
MikNomis Posted October 27, 2010 Share Posted October 27, 2010 All of these stories are so inspirational. I hope someday I could have a success story as well with my ex Link to comment
bullonparade Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 [/b] (she by the way was my cousin) Wait...what?? 1 Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted October 28, 2010 Share Posted October 28, 2010 Wait...what?? LMAO. Perhaps she's a sixteenth cousin, 4 times removed. Link to comment
intolerable Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 Wait...what?? Exactly my reaction. Link to comment
brokenhurt Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 Wait...what?? whats so shocking? Link to comment
Rally Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 you had sex with someone that is blood related :S Link to comment
brokenhurt Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 you had sex with someone that is blood related :S what?................ who said this? she was my cousin/relative (one of my uncle's daughter) i think you guys are getting it worng lol.um not that pathetic Link to comment
sadchick83 Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 Here is one: One of my girlfriends went through a brutal separation/divorce. A mutual friend set her up with a much better guy. My friend wanted to have children, the new guy did not as he already has 2 daughters. The had a few minor fights about this. At one point they were supposed to go on vacation. A big fight caused the cancellation of the vacation. My girlfriend decided instead of laying in bed for a week, she went on a cruise by herself. The cruise was boring, but, her man found out she went away by herself. Upon her return (February of this year) then got back together and are now moving in together. They may or may not have kids at this point Link to comment
brokenhurt Posted October 29, 2010 Share Posted October 29, 2010 um more interesting to see reconciliations after break-ups in which lot of bad blood was involved.nasty things and may be kind of abusing after break-up.because its not easy to leave a person straight away without any anger and in anger you do crazy stuff as i have talked before Link to comment
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