tillyy

Thanks to both of you Just posted it and I totally agree markyspark and I hope things work out for you!

Thought I would post a few more since I have recently gotten back with my ex again (will post a thread later) and I have quite a few more I've heard of in the last few months to share. It really does happen more often than people seem to think.... I know of a couple who were together for about 2 years, they were engaged but she ended it because she just wasn't happy anymore. They stopped going out and seeing friends and were basically stuck together and she didn't like it. He was pretty distraught by it all but they were broken up for about a year whilst still remaining in contact as close friends. Neither saw anyone else and eventually after a year, they worked out their problems and got back together. Second couple, they were together for a few years but she already had a kid from another relationship. I'm not sure what went wrong but they both ended up going their separate ways and saw other people. A few years later, they have now been back together for some time and are now moving in with each other. My sister and her boyfriend broke up about 5 years ago. They both saw other people in the meantime but have recently gotten back together. My parents split up a couple of times before getting back together again. I don't know why I didn't think of this one before, it's amazing how many couples have broken up and gotten back together and remained together happily married when you think about it, there are so many around you. Another couple I know were married for over 20 years but the relationship had become stale & they almost divorced. She decided she wanted him out and asked him to leave and he did so but after about a year, they sorted out their differences and got back together and renewed their vowels. The next couple were only married for about a year but it always seemed like he would belittle her and she would just take it. One day she snapped and told him that she wouldn't stand for it anymore and they broke up. They both moved to different states but neither was happy. They discussed things and worked on their marriage and are still together now after 6 months of being apart.

It happens more often than you'd think, most people just don't talk about it so you don't hear about it and what you're saying wasn't the case for me. There were more than a few bitter words exchanged etc after the breakup and we got back together a year later. No one can ever know, even people who say they never will get back together and are sure of it sometimes happen to get back together. Things are said in the heat of the moment that often aren't really meant so you can't go by those words alone. You can never really know.

I was going to post just the one and then I heard another today. First one; I don't know the ins and outs but they were together for a couple of years & then broke up for about a year (I'm pretty sure they remained friends the whole time) and then got back together again and got engaged a couple of months ago after being together for about another year again. Second one; again I don't know exactly what happened but they were married for 20 years, got divorced and a year later, they are now getting married again this coming weekend.

I understand what you're saying but I do think that 200 stories do tell you more than 100; that reconciliations happen more often than most people think or would know about if they didn't hear about them. For me, proof that it happens doesn't create a delusion of any sorts but I can see how it does for some. I can see we will have to agree to disagree here and allow the remainder of the posts to be what the thread was intended for.

I don't think it needs to be closed down at all. I think people who are already reading the forums are quite aware of breakups and the chances of getting back together etc, practically every other post in the forum is about breaking up, therefore there should be at least one thread allowing for success stories to be told. If you're saying that, then people who do have success & come back to post, should not be allowed to tell their stories either. People are allowed to have hope, they deal with it in different ways and perhaps your hopes did screw you up but I think most people are realistic & realise it doesn't happen to everyone but it does happen more often than people think. Like Stochprocess said, it's what we personally place value on. If somebody wants to move on then they can, if they don't & want to work towards reconciliation then they can also. In today's society everything is disposed of too easily, including relationships. If anything, this thread at least shows that relationships need to be worked on constantly, just like all aspects of our lives. Everybody has a choice & if they want to have hope & read these success stories then it is entirely upto them. If somebody doesn't like it, then they can move on to another thread quite easily, too.

Of course, it's different for every situation & individuals involved but I think whenever you know you are ready to see the other person knowing that you are not going to start an argument, bring anything up about the past or ask if they are seeing someone else etc (it's only going to set you back) & feel you are prepared for anything they might say that might upset you. Also be prepared to feel like you did at the start when you get home having had to say bye to them again. I think at least 2 months is needed for most people to feel like they could deal with that and have given the other space. Even that isn't long really but any earlier & you're likely to say things you don't mean or shouldn't do. I think attempting contact via txt or something for a while first before seeing the other is a good idea, too. Perhaps meeting in a public place & for a shorter period of time would be best to start with as well but whenever you feel you are ready to remain composed & sound happy & like the person they first remember meeting, then I think you have a good start to go ahead.

This wasn't true in my case. We were together for about 2 years, he then broke up with me. We remained in contact for a few months, then had NC for a few months. We began talking again & seeing each other every now & then. After about a year of us being seperated, he asked me back out. We were together again for another 2 years until recently when he broke it off again. (which lead to me being here) Although I check this thread regularly, I never thought I would post but felt I should, since someone may learn from my mistakes. As the above poster said, you must 'fix' yourselves as individuals or whoever/whatever it may be causing the problem. You can't sit there wanting to get back together without fixing the problems that caused the relationship to end. You can't sit there in self-pity, hoping you will get back together & not working on yourself as an individual. We never spoke about what went wrong before getting back together either, I was just so happy to be back in the relationship. I wish I found this thread before as I now realise exactly what I have just said. I still hope & believe that we can be together again but I know that this time I must fix myself as an individual first before it would work. I don't believe in people telling others to just 'move on' but I do believe in 'getting on with things' instead. People do get back together but you must fix whatever was wrong in the first place before it will work out. I also think it's entirely upto each individual if they want to do the whole NC thing but if you don't, then just make sure you give the other person a lot of space.