Maroney555 Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Is getting married at the courthouse first and then having an actual ceremony like a year to even 3 years later a tacky idea? We would like to celebrate with our friends and family at some point. My mom will be paying for the ceremony, but asked for a little bit of time to save up. She wants me to have a nice ceremony which would be ideal. What's the process of courthouse weddings anyways? Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Yes, I think it is tacky. What is the point of having a big splashy wedding long after you have been legally married. There is no need to have a big wedding if you can't afford it. You have to live within your means. You can have a simple and small wedding that won't break the bank. No need for the huge Cinderella at the ball, let's show off to all my friends and family what kind of elaborate affair I can throw, wedding bash. The important thing is the marriage itself, not the big party. Link to comment
Maroney555 Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 It's not going to be THAT ridiculous of a wedding. I should have worded it differently. Getting married and then having ceremony a while after? Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 It's not going to be THAT ridiculous of a wedding. I should have worded it differently. Getting married and then having ceremony a while after? I have heard of people getting married and then having a party a month or two later..but months and years later, no, I think that is still tacky. Link to comment
Maroney555 Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 I have heard of people getting married and then having a party a month or two later..but months and years later, no, I think that is still tacky. Ok, thank you. Link to comment
waveseer Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Throw a three year anniversary bash! Sounds like great fun without all the one-time-only costumes. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 I would not have the ceremony years after the actual marriage. If you want to have the big ceremony, why not just wait until you can afford it to get married. Is it really important to get married right now? You can always renew your vows at 5 years or something and have a ceremony then, but even 5 years might be a short time for that Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 i would call it a 3 year anniversary party, and not register for gifts. you could also just do something very low key in town. i went to a wedding reception this weekend. the couple got married in the virgin islands. they came back and threw an afternoon party at a restaurant. their friends were the photographers, they had some snacks, and me and some other were dancing for them at their reception (that was their request - no presents, just your precence!) i thought that was cute. of course, people got them stuff anyways. what i'm saying is that you can do something fun and on the cheap. you can just rent a restaurant for the afternoon and invite all of your friends and just have fun and dance and have some cake. that shouldn't break the bank, and will still be fun. you can do a really glitzy anniversary party at some point in the future, i know some couples who do that, or they renew their vows. Link to comment
Maroney555 Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 This is a really good idea! Thank you! Link to comment
Maroney555 Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 I would not have the ceremony years after the actual marriage. If you want to have the big ceremony, why not just wait until you can afford it to get married. Is it really important to get married right now? You can always renew your vows at 5 years or something and have a ceremony then, but even 5 years might be a short time for that Well there are other reasons, but we live together and have both been receiving a lot of criticism from our church for doing so. We would like to have that under our belt so they would stop giving us crap. That is probably the most important reason for us wanting to get married soon. Link to comment
Maroney555 Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 Throw a three year anniversary bash! Sounds like great fun without all the one-time-only costumes. I want the costume though! Haha JK. But ya, that sounds like a good idea. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Well there are other reasons, but we live together and have both been receiving a lot of criticism from our church for doing so. We would like to have that under our belt so they would stop giving us crap. That is probably the most important reason for us wanting to get married soon. don't feel obligated to get married because people from church are giving you crap about it. they can mind their own business. Link to comment
lost1607307474 Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 I have heard of people getting married and then having a party a month or two later..but months and years later, no, I think that is still tacky. Yeah agreed. I would find it a bit odd. You're only 20 - why don't you just put off the wedding for a while longer while the money is saved up? Have a longer engagement. Lots of people postpone their weddings a year/ couple of years in order to save up some money. Link to comment
Maroney555 Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 Yeah agreed. I would find it a bit odd. You're only 20 - why don't you just put off the wedding for a while longer while the money is saved up? Have a longer engagement. Lots of people postpone their weddings a year/ couple of years in order to save up some money. Ya this is true...we just feel obligated because of our church. They are threatening to kick us out of ministries and stuff. It's getting ridiculous. Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 maybe you should find a church that doesn't kick people out like that. Link to comment
Maroney555 Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 maybe you should find a church that doesn't kick people out like that. Haha, good idea! Link to comment
lost1607307474 Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Hrm... personally I wouldn't enjoy belonging to a church that threatened to kick me out because of aspects of my personal life... Link to comment
Maroney555 Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 Hrm... personally I wouldn't enjoy belonging to a church that threatened to kick me out because of aspects of my personal life... Ya, because of this situation we have been strongly thinking about changing. Going has become stressful instead of a pleasurable experience. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Sounds to me like you need to find another church rather than rush into a wedding. There are plenty of churches that will accept you regardless of your living situation. Heck, my husband and I married in the catholic church and our priest knew we had lived together for 6 years beforehand. He said it wasn't his place to tell us what to do, we were both consenting adults. Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 ironic that when you tell them you DO want to get married, they tell you to go away. Link to comment
Maroney555 Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 Right? We consider ourselves married anyways because religiously we are, but whatever.... Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Nothing wrong with a courthouse marriage then a wedding party later. and lots of people renew their vows years later with a big wedding type party and nobody thinks that's tacky either... you should do what makes you happy! Link to comment
Maroney555 Posted February 21, 2009 Author Share Posted February 21, 2009 Nothing wrong with a courthouse marriage then a wedding party later. and lots of people renew their vows years later with a big wedding type party and nobody thinks that's tacky either... you should do what makes you happy! Thank you This was the best response haha Link to comment
redhearts Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Renew your vows in 2-3 years. Its sort of like a wedding, but not as tackful. Link to comment
Alezia Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 I would definetly not call it a wedding ceremony 3 years later. It would be tacky to me as well but if you do want to throw a nice party, I'd to it more towards your continued commitment rather than "oh look, i got married 3 years ago, now give me gifts and look at me like a princess". It's mostly how it's going to come off to most people I think. Of course, it's your choice but I would wait to do it one time and properly. Link to comment
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