Sex Without Emotion

[PandaLovesBunny]

So I went to an escort today, to try to get over my ex... and it didn't do anything for me. We tried every position conceivable, but I just couldn't feel anything at all. After a while I'd just lose my erection because there was nothing there. She tried blow jobs, hand-jobs; nothing worked. I actually found myself getting bored after a few minutes.

 

It's really quite disappointing.

 

Anyone else have similar experiences? Could it have been the lube, the condom, or maybe sex and love is just too intertwined for me to treat it as an "impersonal" business transaction?

 

She was incredibly beautiful, though. And smart. If she wasn't an escort, I would have dated her.

[EQD]

sex with people i dont care about pleasing bores me.

why i stopped having casual sex.

[Clementine orange]

It's because sex is more than just "body" it's personality too. An escort is a virtual stranger really. How can one get excited about that?

[BeStrongBeHappy]

It's a mistake to try to compare a hooker to a girlfriend... Of course you're going to feel nothing like you did with someone you loved.

 

why not just be on your own for a while until you feel better about the breakup, and can start dating women who might actually mean something to you.

[CAgirl]

Sounds like a waste of money.

 

I'm just curious, but What made you think going to an escort would make you get over your ex?

[Hope75]

It's a mistake to try to compare a hooker to a girlfriend... Of course you're going to feel nothing like you did with someone you loved.

 

why not just be on your own for a while until you feel better about the breakup, and can start dating women who might actually mean something to you.

 

I agree- how do you expect yourself to feel if you are trying to forget someone you actually care about by using another person's body?

 

For me there has always been a mind-body connection with sex, I am not a machine, and neither are you.

[ghost69]

technically, that is not an escort.

 

anyways, i love sex with no emotion. i can focus better on the task at hand. to me, that i show sex should be. pounding it out animalistically.

 

but i think you were bored because you paid for this person and weren't really into them whether it was mentally or physically.

[Knead2Know]

I don't think it is unusual for you to experience what you did. I understand why you thought going to an escort would help with dealing with a breakup, but by the sound of your reaction to it, you just weren't ready and probably have become somewhat numb.

 

IMHO, men do have a mind body connection and that can impede sexual performance. If your mind is not into what you are experiencing than you can have trouble with sexual performance, and engaging or connecting with the person you are having sex with. You chose an escort who is already emotionally detached, and thereforee really couldn't give you the comfort I think you were seeking.

 

I wouldn't take this on as a sexual problem, but I do think that escorts won't provide the comfort that you seek. I hope you do find that comfort....

[babii doll]

i've had the best sex of my life with guys i didnt care about/love..

i think it was a combination of meeting someone new and the excitement of it all, adrenaline pumping added with the surprise that they were actually quite talented in the sack that made it great.

 

i noticed though when i would go back to those guys the excitement just wasnt there anymore, it wasn't AS good as the first time we had sex.

[waveseer]

It would really bother me if the other person was just doing their job. I'd be like, why don't you just take the hour off on my dime, we can go get a cup of coffee or something.

[Blanco Nino]

The thing is paying for sex is not an ego boost. If anything it lowers your ego.

 

Sex with a stranger that's not a call girl is the better way to numb the pain because there is that "I still have it!" conquest feeling. Because lets be honest when a girl breaks up with you no matter how many people sugarcoat it for you she is in effect saying "you're not good enough for me."

 

So in other words try for a one nighter over call girls. I think it works wonders to get confidence back.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

The thing is paying for sex is not an ego boost. If anything it lowers your ego.

 

Sex with a stranger that's not a call girl is the better way to numb the pain because there is that "I still have it!" conquest feeling. Because lets be honest when a girl breaks up with you no matter how many people sugarcoat it for you she is in effect saying "you're not good enough for me."

 

So in other words try for a one nighter over call girls. I think it works wonders to get confidence back.

 

 

Not quite sure how a one nighter would be any better...go to a bar and pick up a woman..chances are that woman has done that kind of thing plenty of times so it is not like she really chose..she was just horny and found someone who was passable and would take care of her needs. Don't assume a one night stand is anything more than hooker sex without the monetary payment.

[Blanco Nino]

Not quite sure how a one nighter would be any better...go to a bar and pick up a woman..chances are that woman has done that kind of thing plenty of times so it is not like she really chose..she was just horny and found someone who was passable and would take care of her needs. Don't assume a one night stand is anything more than hooker sex without the monetary payment.

 

I can tell you from experience that it's miles better than paying for it. Much harder to accomplish of course. Plus it gets you back out onto the playing field instead of sitting in your room thumbing through the yellow pages for an "escort" while feeling sorry for yourself.

[Nixee]

If you are really just in it for the sex... and in no way are you in it for the connection, then I can see how a one night thrill like this might do something for you, especially if it was someone you were attracted to or had great physical/sexual chemistry with.

 

But it sounds like you had/have different things going on - recently hurt, most likely distracted by thoughts of your ex, and used to being more connected. You probably didn't go into this with a "gee I'm really hot and bothered, I need to have a passionate night with a woman" sort of mindset... you went in with the "I'm thinking of my ex, I need to distract myself" mindset..... doesn't always work... it wasn't about the sex.

 

And if it isn't about the sex with an escort... what IS it about? Sounds like a recipe for failure to me. Nothing wrong with you, you just need to take some time to heal.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I can tell you from experience that it's miles better than paying for it. Much harder to accomplish of course. Plus it gets you back out onto the playing field instead of sitting in your room thumbing through the yellow pages for an "escort" while feeling sorry for yourself.

 

 

Well, I see no difference between a random hookup with a stranger in a bar and random hookup with an escort, except for the money. Both are about getting your rocks off with someone who has had other random penises up there, both leave you open to disease, both are acts of desparation, both are cold and empty...I guess if you don't have to pay for it then there is more money to save for retirement...or your health bills when an STD hits!

[george237]

Sounds like a good investment. You prob wern't attracted to her, next time meet someone at the bar.

[Day_Walker]

Not everyone can have sex without emotion, there are some people that feel they need that emotional connection in order to enjoy the experience. It appears as though you are still hung up on your ex and you cannot just enjoy the physical pleasure or you just are one of those people who want/need there to be an emotional bond to have sex with a person.