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Anxious about Christmas gift exchange with BF ...


Eggs

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This is relatively a low-level "problem" - just want to put that out there so I don't come off sounding shallow.

 

BF and I have been together for almost 2 years, we are in our late 30's. Both of us have good tastes, can indulge, but are practical at the same time.

 

The issue that I'm increasingly getting anxious about is our Christmas gifts, in particular, the one(s) that I'll be receiving from him. BF is in the tech/computer field and has given me "guy" gifts and digital/computer type gifts for birthdays, holidays, thus far. I'm expecting the same for this Christmas based on the comments that he's made so far (Best Buy and shopping online). He's given me VERY nice gifts, it's just that they are sooooooo obviously not what I would like or love for every special occasion - it's what HE likes and loves.

 

When I give gifts, and this might be a female vs. male thing, I'll go against my comfort level to give him what he would want (I might be thinking wallet or designer jeans, but I know he would love something from Apple computer ... so I happily do it.).

 

Let's see, for the gifts he's given me, and again, I realize they are VERY nice: Ipod Nano, digital Camera, car radar detector, Blackberry Curve cell phone. It's at the point where I am not excited, but uneasy about potentially having to "act" happy. The other gifts, I really was genuinely happy, not fainting drop to my knees giddy, but very appreciative and happy.

 

My prob is primarily that he doesn't seem to be thinking "what would she like?" I've been helping him with gifts for friends/family of his and he tends to see the items through his own lens ... and I'll ask "but, is so and so into that sort of thing??!" Or, hey I think your sister would really enjoy "xyz". I even went as far to ask him "what would YOU really like???" I told him that I already got his gifts and they were wrapped, but I wanted to give him the chance to tell me (without pressure) -- you know, everyone has a list of things they'd love to have.

 

My gift to him is completely against my grain, but I think he'll really like it ... a high end, universal remote control (oooh aaaah), and Burberry cuff links (more for me, but he loves to dress nicely and does wear cuff links).

 

I'm not saying that the gifts have to be expensive either - it really is the thought that counts.

 

Do I need to just suck it up and not ever say anything??! I'm all about being respectful, and GEEZE, know that it's a gift so don't complain.

 

What do you guys think???

 

 

 

ps. What would make me die and go to Heaven:

-A piece of jewelry, small is fine.

-A handbag from my favorite designer store.

-A watch, because I don't have one!

-Him telling me that he wants to get me something that I really like and he'll take me out to find it

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Some people are just not good at gift buying...but his gifts do come from the heart...he is trying. Why can't you buy yourself a watch if you don't have one, a piece of jewelry, a handbag? Looks like he is one for practical gifts rather than the "Sex and the City" type gifts. Do you use the gifts he has given you? They may not be romantic gifts to you but if he is romantic and loving in other ways I would just let this go.

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Crazyabout,

 

Thanks - I really appreciate your reply

 

Might I add, ironically BF had seen every single Sex and the City episode (before we were ever together) and brought the movie over a few weeks ago for us to watch together, lol! I, on the other hand, had never watched a single show ... Hahah.

 

I hear what your saying. I'm good with that too.

 

I'm used to buying ALL of my things and never had a bf/husband indulge me. I think they were attracted to my practical side ... But appreciated that I had good taste when needed.

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I don't think that it is buying what he likes - he is buying what he understands. That way he knows that what he buys is good for purpose and a reasonable price for the quality. If he were to buy outside his area of expertise he would be worried that the gifts wouldn't match up - jewelry and accessories may not be the style you like, or the wrong size or colour.

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Had you ever given him any clues about things you would appreciate? Point out the type of things that you like. As DN explained he may just not be as comfortable outside his expertise. So a little guidance certainly couldn't hurt.

 

Amazing what direct communication will accomplish.

 

Good luck.

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He's not thinking of himself, he's just buying you the latest good stuff, the nano, the blackberry, and like someone else said, he's comfortable buying you this cos he knows it. Which is the exact reason my guy buys me all that, cos he knows whats good and whats not, I would'nt have it any other way personally.

 

Not all men are good at buying woman personal things, if you really want something, like someone said you should hint to him. As much as it would be even more lovely if he came up wth it on his own, he might not.

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What would make me die and go to Heaven:

-A piece of jewelry, small is fine.

-A handbag from my favorite designer store.

-A watch, because I don't have one!

-Him telling me that he wants to get me something that I really like and he'll take me out to find it

 

Have you ever shared this list with him? He's not a mind reader! If you want something specific you better tell him! It's a little too late this year as Christmas is 2 days away, but for next Christmas or your bday, tell him this list!!

 

My bf wanted to get me a vaccuum. Here's how the convo went:

 

him: we should get a Roomba

me: but I just bought a nice vaccuum

him: yeah but this way you wouldn't have to vaccuum

me: (looking at him) I can think of another way I wouldn't have to vaccum

him: (looking away) I don't know what you're talking about

 

I definitely wouldn't mind a digital camera or a Blackberry! But I see your point. You want something that makes you say "aww, that's so sweet!"

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I don't think that it is buying what he likes - he is buying what he understands. That way he knows that what he buys is good for purpose and a reasonable price for the quality. If he were to buy outside his area of expertise he would be worried that the gifts wouldn't match up - jewelry and accessories may not be the style you like, or the wrong size or colour.

 

yeah - i bet if he tried to buy you earrings - he wouldn't necessarily know if you like big or small, real or fake, what color, what style, etc.... anyways - i think the ipod and camera and phone are all great gifts, they sound very useful. why don't you just get yourself at xmas time a new jewerly set at the after-xmas sales?

 

i'm afraid if you ask him - maybe you'd wind up with something hideous - like some kind of jewlery you absolutely hate, but then you'd feel obliged to wear it for him. you'd be wishing you got an ipod instead!!!

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