ilovethatgirl Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 Well I've been dealing with the depression I've been experiencing since losing the ex-gf by keeping in touch with my "support network" via phones, e-mail, facebook, enotalone, in person at school for the few friends who are actually here, and, strangely enough, World of WarCraft - it's a very social game and I've established some great friendships through it, and they are also people I can turn to. On Monday I was feeling particularly depressed and my Dad had a date over watching a movie, and I didn't want to interrupt them with my relationship problems. So I used a little circumvention trick I know to bypass the security programs my Dad installed on MY computer that limited me to two hours on the computer per day, and was on for around seven and a half hours. Well, he found out, and his reaction was completely, totally, over the top. He banned me from going on the computer, EVER, MY computer, even though I explained to him time and again that that is how I keep in touch with my support network. So, being cut off from, essentially, almost everyone I know, understandably, I freaked. I went a little too far, he told me to get out of his house, and the end result was that I was storming out of the house screaming that I was heading downtown to jump off a building and kill myself. Well, he called the Police, and got me arrested like some shoplifter, and they dragged me to the Hospital. Even the councillor there was completely unsympathetic, treating me like the villain, the bad guy, in this - which makes sense since he spent an hour talking to my dad and almost no time talking to me. He told me that any support that is over the internet or the phone isn't real support, even though my BEST FRIEND who I MET in person and then I MOVED AWAY from can only be contacted via phone or email now, and that the only proper support is a trained psychiatrist, even though those people have given me advice that makes things WORSE. Long story short, now I'm living at the YMCA, they're telling me I need to apply for welfare, its a one-hour city bus ride to school... MY LIFE F---ING SUCKS! Link to comment
metrogirl Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 Your parents are legally responisble to you until you are 18. They can be charged with child neglect and endangerment for leaving you homeless. Can the YMCA arrange for you to talk with Childrens Protective Services? Link to comment
Ac143 Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 getting kicked out over something like that is crazy, did you talk to your dad again? Did he tell you not to come home? Link to comment
thebunny21 Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 Wow. Pretty crappy. That really is a nasty situation. Dad definitely over-reacted, but I understand why he has a 2 hour block on the computer for you. I know meeting people that you can actually connect to and trust in the "real" world is hard, but I think the block on the comp was a way your dad was trying to encourage you to get out and meet some people. I think you over-reacted by threatening suicide. Talk to you father though. You can smooth it over. Never hurts to try, right? Link to comment
Iorndad Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 Wow. Pretty crappy. That really is a nasty situation. Dad definitely over-reacted, but I understand why he has a 2 hour block on the computer for you. I know meeting people that you can actually connect to and trust in the "real" world is hard, but I think the block on the comp was a way your dad was trying to encourage you to get out and meet some people. I think you over-reacted by threatening suicide. Talk to you father though. You can smooth it over. Never hurts to try, right? Sorry but I missed the part where he kicked you out. All I read was you ran off threating to kill yourself and so your dad did what he had to to protect you. It was pretty crappy on both parts. I think you really need to sit and have a talk with him. Link to comment
shikashika Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 I'm sorry to hear that. did you have any problems with your dad before? Was this jsust it, or was this the straw that broke the camel's back? Link to comment
thebunny21 Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 Sorry but I missed the part where he kicked you out. All I read was you ran off threating to kill yourself and so your dad did what he had to to protect you. It was pretty crappy on both parts. I think you really need to sit and have a talk with him. Yea, your right, he didn't get kicked out. He ran out. He should go home and seek out some help from professionals of why he has a hard time with people on the outside of his computer and what is wrong at home. Link to comment
ilovethatgirl Posted November 5, 2008 Author Share Posted November 5, 2008 Your parents are legally responisble to you until you are 18. They can be charged with child neglect and endangerment for leaving you homeless. Can the YMCA arrange for you to talk with Childrens Protective Services? I don't know where you are or if I'm wrong, but it's my understanding that in Canada it's until you are 16. Wow. Pretty crappy. That really is a nasty situation. Dad definitely over-reacted, but I understand why he has a 2 hour block on the computer for you. I know meeting people that you can actually connect to and trust in the "real" world is hard, but I think the block on the comp was a way your dad was trying to encourage you to get out and meet some people. I think you over-reacted by threatening suicide. Talk to you father though. You can smooth it over. Never hurts to try, right? I'm not sure I even WANT to live with him again, he obviously doesn't know !@#$ or care about what I'm going through. I COULD see the whole "meet more people" point of view, except I HAVE "real-life" friends! I just didn't have ENOUGH for him, I'm just not the son he wanted, I'm not social or athletic or any of that !@#$. Link to comment
ilovethatgirl Posted November 5, 2008 Author Share Posted November 5, 2008 Yea, your right, he didn't get kicked out. He ran out. He should go home and seek out some help from professionals of why he has a hard time with people on the outside of his computer and what is wrong at home. Sorry, he DID tell me to get out of the house, I thought I wrote that. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 Is it that you are refusing to go back to your dad's or is it that he is refusing to have you back? Link to comment
ilovethatgirl Posted November 5, 2008 Author Share Posted November 5, 2008 Is it that you are refusing to go back to your dad's or is it that he is refusing to have you back? He told me he didn't want me back in his house, and I pretty much said "fine by me". Link to comment
Ac143 Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 He told me he didn't want me back in his house, and I pretty much said "fine by me". Do you really not want to go back?? Because if you dont, then you need to do what you have to do to go on BUT if you want to go back, I say you need to talk to your dad. Sure his reaction was over the top, but yours wasn't any better...saying u are going to kill yourself? Im sure that broke his heart (believe it or not) and any good parent would be concerned when/if their child says that. If you live under his roof, you will need to follow his rules, I know that's an old saying but its true. Link to comment
thebunny21 Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 I don't know where you are or if I'm wrong, but it's my understanding that in Canada it's until you are 16. I'm not sure I even WANT to live with him again, he obviously doesn't know !@#$ or care about what I'm going through. I COULD see the whole "meet more people" point of view, except I HAVE "real-life" friends! I just didn't have ENOUGH for him, I'm just not the son he wanted, I'm not social or athletic or any of that !@#$. I really don't talk to anyone from high school because I hated it. I didn't like half the people that were there and I actually made a very strong group of friends outside of it. People I can depend on. My parents don't like how I met these people, but they understand they mean more to me that what they are. I'm sure your dad likes you, and you should also consider, your 16... Duh, you hate everything your parents do, cuz that's what age you are. I hated living at home when I was 16 and it got worse when I got my drivers license because I never wanted to be home. My parents and I get along great now. I actually don't like myself for what I had put them through in the past. But it's the stages of life. I'm sure your going to look back at this situation in a few years and be like, I got that upset over that! Link to comment
ilovethatgirl Posted November 5, 2008 Author Share Posted November 5, 2008 Do you really not want to go back?? Because if you dont, then you need to do what you have to do to go on BUT if you want to go back, I say you need to talk to your dad. Sure his reaction was over the top, but yours wasn't any better...saying u are going to kill yourself? Im sure that broke his heart (believe it or not) and any good parent would be concerned when/if their child says that. If you live under his roof, you will need to follow his rules, I know that's an old saying but its true. Why should I follow his rules when they are detrimental to my emotional and/or mental health? Link to comment
thebunny21 Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 Why should I follow his rules when they are detrimental to my emotional and/or mental health? You think that's how it is, but he's really looking out for you. He should've considered a therapist first, but it was a very sudden thing to happen. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 Since you threatened suicide, your Dad did do the right thing, by contacting the police. I don't know what the law in Canada is, but in the U.S., your parents are responsible for you until the age of 18. At the age of 16, there is no way you can support yourself on your own. I would try to contact "Social Services", and try to find a way to meet your parents in trying to find a solution to this. Link to comment
thebunny21 Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 Since you threatened suicide, your Dad did do the right thing, by contacting the police. I don't know what the law in Canada is, but in the U.S., your parents are responsible for you until the age of 18. At the age of 16, there is no way you can support yourself on your own. I would try to contact "Social Services", and try to find a way to meet your parents in trying to find a solution to this. God, at 16, I was making $6.15 an hour. Even now at $15. I can't make it. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 Why should I follow his rules when they are detrimental to my emotional and/or mental health? Are they? Or do you just not like them? You threatened to kill yourself and ran away. I'd be amazed if his response hadn't be emotional. Link to comment
Ac143 Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 Why should I follow his rules when they are detrimental to my emotional and/or mental health? Are they though? But to answer your question - unless you are paying rent or contributing money wise somehow then yes you have to follow his rules. If you think his rules are really affecting your mental health then do not go back, you dont have to go back if you dont want to. BUT I think you do.....You guys need to sit down and talk about this, come to a compromise. Link to comment
ilovethatgirl Posted November 5, 2008 Author Share Posted November 5, 2008 He doesnt LISTEN to compromises, never has, never will... All he does is passively and emotionlessly say "No" to everything, and when I ask why, he says, "Just because". Those people still have my BELONGINGS in their house which I am LOCKED OUT OF, I can't get my Mp3 player, my clothes, ANYTHING. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 To be honest, you don't really have anywhere to keep them now, and an mp3 player would just get nicked. Link to comment
ilovethatgirl Posted November 5, 2008 Author Share Posted November 5, 2008 Well the YMCA gave me a room anyway... it can be locked... and I rarely if ever put down my mp3 player anyway... I need my freaking music, it calms me down... Link to comment
thebunny21 Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 I think you need to talk to your parents. Do you want to spend the rest of your teen years in the YMCA? And on welfare? I think you can do a bit better than that. Is your mom anywhere in the picture? Maybe you can live with her until your 18. Link to comment
ilovethatgirl Posted November 5, 2008 Author Share Posted November 5, 2008 this is where my own stubborness comes into play, I refuse to be associated with her new home or her new guy after she cheated on my dad. I know its a stupid decision and I COULD help myself, but... I cant. Link to comment
Ac143 Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 aww you know I feel so bad for you, it must be hard in your situation right now. My dad was always unreasonable, he is/was very old fashioned and once even locked me in my room without anything but books no TV/music/phone nothing for the whole summer. I mean of course I was able to leave my room to eat and go to the bathroom but he did this because I failed 1 subject. So I know what it feels like to have a father that doesn't compromise, to say the least. I managed to "live by his rules" because I knew I couldnt live in the real world just yet. Once I got stable around 23-24 I got out. If you think you can manage to be out on your own right now - then call the police and have them escort you to your parents house to get some stuff. I been in a situation like yours, I have a crazy old fashioned, unrealistic father. I now know he did those things only because he loved me and it was the only way he knew how to be a father. I think you should go talk to your dad, you dont want to be in the Y forever. It sucks, probably worse then his "rules" Link to comment
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