A few questions about cheating...

[AngryHeart]

I'd just like to ask a few questions.

 

1. What do you class as cheating? What would you say are the gray areas?

 

2. Why do you think a person cheats?

 

3. Do you think it is possible for someone to cheat, if all their needs are being met by their primary partner? Or do you think a man (or woman) is bullsh!tting when he says he is happy with his life, and girlfried, whislt emotionally cheating?

 

4. Do you think you can truly love someone and still cheat on them?

 

5. Which would you find harder to forgive: Emotional cheating with no physical? Or physical with no real emotional?

 

I know most of this is going to be personal opinions, but I'd just like to see the outcome. Thanks.

[lady00]

1. What do you class as cheating? What would you say are the gray areas?

 

For me, cheating is sexual contact of any kind (from kissing all the way to sex) or emotional contact that should be reserved for a relationship (gray areas would be the line between innocent flirting and hitting on someone or emotionally cheating).

 

2. Why do you think a person cheats?

 

I think people cheat for a whole range of reasons. Probably if they are feeling a missing connection between themselves and their partner on one or more levels (sexual, emotional etc).

 

3. Do you think it is possible for someone to cheat, if all their needs are being met by their primary partner? Or do you think a man (or woman) is bullsh!tting when he says he is happy with his life, and girlfried, whislt emotionally cheating?

 

I think it is possible for a person to cheat and have all their needs being met. Those people are just of the extra selfish type.

 

Either that or they can't be in a monogamous relationship and they are just fooling themselves and lying to their partners about their desire to be with just one person. Some people want to have multiple partners at once...there is absolutely nothing wrong with that as long as they are up front about it. I think some people get into relationships or get married for the wrong reasons then realize they do not want to be monogamous even though they have a wonderful partner.

 

4. Do you think you can truly love someone and still cheat on them?

 

Tough, tough one. I am probably the wrong person to ask as I don't think I have ever been in love.

 

5. Which would you find harder to forgive: Emotional cheating with no physical? Or physical with no real emotional?

 

I think that for me, personally, physical cheating is harder to forgive because it would put images in my head about them doing the deed and it would put me at a health risk. I don't think, however, that I would forgive either type of cheating.

[alli]

I'd just like to ask a few questions.

 

1. What do you class as cheating? What would you say are the gray areas?

 

 

2. Why do you think a person cheats?

 

3. Do you think it is possible for someone to cheat, if all their needs are being met by their primary partner? Or do you think a man (or woman) is bullsh!tting when he says he is happy with his life, and girlfried, whislt emotionally cheating?

 

4. Do you think you can truly love someone and still cheat on them?

 

5. Which would you find harder to forgive: Emotional cheating with no physical? Or physical with no real emotional?

 

I know most of this is going to be personal opinions, but I'd just like to see the outcome. Thanks.

 

1- Sleeping with another person, kissing, holding hands. Gray area.. extreme flirting, texting frequently, spending a lot of time together & not telling the SO

 

2- Maybe when the relationship starts to feel routine or romantic feelings fade, then meeting someone else you find attractive who is also attracted to you

 

3- Probably. I have a low opinion of cheaters & generally think the cheating is a result of the cheater's moral character & not as a result of the SO failing to fulfill every need. He could probably be happy with his life & just enjoys the emotional cheating as a little extra boost to the ego

 

4- I don't really think so. If you loved someone, you would care about them & their feelings to not do that to them

 

5- I've heard women would be more upset by emotional cheating while men are more upset by physical. I would be very angry with either one, probably more by emotional cheating, but I would be angry at physical cheating because your SO not only cheated but is now exposing you to possible STDs. I know a girl that recently got HIV because her fiance got it when he cheated on her. THAT would anger me beyond belief.

[Cognitive_Canine]

That is my opinion. Every one is different though. Also, every case is different. A lot of gray area.

[lana111]

1. What do you class as cheating? ANYTHING THAT THEY WOULDNT DO INFRONT OF ME, WITH EXEPTIONS SUCH AS REMINISCING WITH AN EX OR TALKING TO THEIR FRIENDS ABOUT EXPERIENCES.

 

2. Why do you think a person cheats?

BC THEY ARE MISSING SOMETHING IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP OR BC THEY DONT HAVE SELF CONTROL.

 

3. Do you think it is possible for someone to cheat, if all their needs are being met by their primary partner? YES

 

4. Do you think you can truly love someone and still cheat on them? NOPE BC THE LOVE WOULD/SHOULD ALWAYS MAKE YOU BASE DECISIONS ON THAT LOVE. AND IF YOU ARE TRULY IN LOVE YOU WOULDNT LET YOURSELF GET INTO A SITUATION WHERE YOU WOULD/COULD CHEAT

 

5. Which would you find harder to forgive: Emotional cheating with no physical? Or physical with no real emotional? EMOTIONAL WOULD BE REALLY HARD TO HEAL FROM BUT I WOULDNT FORGIVE EITHER.

[shes2smart]

I've posted this on here before...but not for a while:

 

Is it cheating?

 

1. partner knows what you intend to do/are doing and is ok with it = not cheating. Doesn't matter what "it" is...if there is knowledge AND consent, it's not cheating.

 

2. partner knows what you intend to do/are doing and is NOT ok with it, and you do it anyway = cheating.

 

3. partner does not know what you intend to do/are doing and thereforee cannot grant or withhold consent, and you go ahead and do it = cheating.

 

That covers any situation/activity...because any list of activities or situations will inevitably leave something out. However if you look at the elements of "knowledge" and "consent" those will be part of ALL situations

 

It's not the activity per se that causes problems involved in cheating, it's the lying, sneaking around and resultant lack of trust that cause the problems. The activities are just details.

[Dragunov-21]

Ten Characters

[AngryHeart]

Interesting replies everyone, thank you. Keep them coming.

[JeckyllNHyde]

1. What do you class as cheating? What would you say are the gray areas?

cheating= making out with someone else, dating someone else, kissing and anything past it.

grey area= emotional cheating, as in having a crush on someone and texting/communicating with them in a flirty or sexual way. so i guess grey area is pretty much the steps which lead to actual cheating..

 

2. Why do you think a person cheats?

they are too selfish to end the relatioship and want to have their cake and eat it.

there are alot of other reasons.. this is the one which springs to mind right away though.

 

also, it could be that they dont respect their relationship and commitment to their partner enough to stay faithfull.. once again they are selfish, only thinking of themself and their needs.

 

3. Do you think it is possible for someone to cheat, if all their needs are being met by their primary partner? Or do you think a man (or woman) is bullsh!tting when he says he is happy with his life, and girlfried, whislt emotionally cheating?

i think emotional cheating happens when the person isnt satisfied with their partner. now PHYSICAL cheating can occure even when his needs are being met in the relationship.

 

if he truly is happy in the relationship, yet still emotionally cheats then it could be that he is just attention starved and wants to look for more people to boost his ego/more ways to "have fun". to me this isn't someone who will maybe ever be relationship material.

 

4. Do you think you can truly love someone and still cheat on them?

yes. but i prefer not to begin this pattern in my relationship nor tolerate it from my partner(s). sometimes you can cheat when drunk for instance.

5. Which would you find harder to forgive: Emotional cheating with no physical? Or physical with no real emotional?

tough question. i dont know.

emotional- to me that means that there is something wrong in my relationship or my partner just has a tendency to look for attention elsewhere.

 

if there is emotional cheating i'd become a bit insecure.

 

if there was physical cheating i dont know if i'd be able to get the images out of my head.

[abriellek]

1. What do you class as cheating? What would you say are the gray areas?

I think cheating occurs once something physical has happened, or if there's lying involved. It might not be cheating to hang out, go to movies etc. with someone else, if you tell your partner. If not, the intention is obviously bad. Gray areas are talking with someone online or on the phone, in secret, about cheating or sexual things, although nothing has occurred. Technically nothing has happened... but it's still somehow not quite right.

 

2. Why do you think a person cheats?

I don't know, because I can't imagine ever doing that. I think it's the worst thing you can do to someone. If you aren't happy enough not to cheat, then you shouldn't be in the relationship.

 

3. Do you think it is possible for someone to cheat, if all their needs are being met by their primary partner? Or do you think a man (or woman) is bullsh!tting when he says he is happy with his life, and girlfriend, whislt emotionally cheating?

 

Yes I think it's possible, if the two people are not in love.

4. Do you think you can truly love someone and still cheat on them?

Absolutely not.

5. Which would you find harder to forgive: Emotional cheating with no physical? Or physical with no real emotional?

Neither is okay with me.

[Flux]

1. What do you class as cheating? What would you say are the gray areas?

Anything emotional, I would count as cheating. Though, I wouldn't count kissing as cheating, anything more than that and yes I would.

 

2. Why do you think a person cheats?

I think listing reasons for a peron to cheat is mundane. Alcohol is the most common 'excuse' for it. Maybe for the buzz, some people, I think just genuinly get a buzz from having affairs and cheating.

3. Do you think it is possible for someone to cheat, if all their needs are being met by their primary partner? Or do you think a man (or woman) is bullsh!tting when he says he is happy with his life, and girlfried, whislt emotionally cheating?

Yep, I think it is possible. Having an affair I think needs a closer look towards the relationship of the cheater, but having a one night stand or just cheating I think men and woman can just do, even if they are happy.

 

4. Do you think you can truly love someone and still cheat on them?

I've cheated before when I've loved someone, and felt awful about it. So I do think it's possible.

 

5. Which would you find harder to forgive: Emotional cheating with no physical? Or physical with no real emotional?

I'd find emotional cheating more painful, physical cheating I could cope with. It's purely as it says, just physical. I'd be jealous and angry, but I wouldn't need a lot fo time to get over it.

[mrmaximum]

1. What do you class as cheating? What would you say are the gray areas?

Anything that violates what my spouse and I have discussed as crossing the line. Usually if I can't do it with her present, it's not kewl. Playful flirting would be grey, I guess.

 

2. Why do you think a person cheats?

Needs not being met is the one I will go with here.

 

3. Do you think it is possible for someone to cheat, if all their needs are being met by their primary partner? Or do you think a man (or woman) is bullsh!tting when he says he is happy with his life, and girlfried, whislt emotionally cheating?

Some people are just truly selfish and simply want their cake and eat it too. However, I think there are just some people who want a need met that their SO cannot reasonably meet. It may be psychological, or an issue from their upbringing.

 

 

4. Do you think you can truly love someone and still cheat on them?

Really not sure about this one. Logically no, but are humans 100% logical?

 

 

5. Which would you find harder to forgive: Emotional cheating with no physical? Or physical with no real emotional?

Niether, if you engage in this type of behavior then you have proven you are no longer trustworthy. If you have an issue with me then let me know so I can fix it. We are a team, let's act like it.

[Lights]

I wouldn't say someone is extra selfish when they cheat despite having all of their needs met. I think it's possible that a lot of people are just insecure. Just because they have a good relationship, they can still feel bad about themselves and try to mend that in other places.

[D_Lish]

I'd just like to ask a few questions.

 

1. What do you class as cheating? What would you say are the gray areas?

 

Physically being involved elsewhere/emotionally involved elsewhere....

Gray areas: Anything being kept a secret.

 

2. Why do you think a person cheats?

 

Loads of reasons.

 

3. Do you think it is possible for someone to cheat, if all their needs are being met by their primary partner? Or do you think a man (or woman) is bullsh!tting when he says he is happy with his life, and girlfried, whislt emotionally cheating?

 

Anybody is capable of cheating and whether needs are being met or not.

Even the most happiest of marriages can be hit by infidelity and have been....

If it is a happy marriage though, I doubt the spouse is about to leave their partner and run off with the OP. In marriages not so happy (like mine), an affair could spell the end of the marriage (as happened in mine)...

 

4. Do you think you can truly love someone and still cheat on them?

 

No.

 

5. Which would you find harder to forgive: Emotional cheating with no physical? Or physical with no real emotional?

 

Emotional cheating with no physical. Emotional affairs are 'affairs of the heart', feelings are involved and the affair is harder to end.

What would be harder to hear from your spouse??

'I slept with someone else'

'Im in love with someone else'....

 

The latter for me.

[yeawutever]

Anything you would never dared do it in front of your OP.

[tangi39]

I'd just like to ask a few questions.

 

1. What do you class as cheating? What would you say are the gray areas?

 

2. Why do you think a person cheats?

 

3. Do you think it is possible for someone to cheat, if all their needs are being met by their primary partner? Or do you think a man (or woman) is bullsh!tting when he says he is happy with his life, and girlfried, whislt emotionally cheating?

 

4. Do you think you can truly love someone and still cheat on them?

 

5. Which would you find harder to forgive: Emotional cheating with no physical? Or physical with no real emotional?

 

I know most of this is going to be personal opinions, but I'd just like to see the outcome. Thanks.

 

 

1. Because different couples define cheating in different ways- I'd say cheating is anything you do with another person you would not do if your SO was in the room with you .If you wouldn't be comfortable if your spouse was standing right next to you, you probably shouldn't be doing it.

 

2. So many reasons ranging from- selfishness, unhappiness in the relationship, constant need for affection/attention, emotional/physical/psychological issues having nothing to do with the SO and just plain egotism.

 

3. Absolutely. I have seen people been cheated on who have been fantastic spouses and give their spouse everything. Everyone is different in terms of Happiness. A person may be completely happy with their life, marriage, etc- but just need constant attention or validation from the opposite sex. Some people just want to see if they can get away with it. Or to boost their ego. Other are genuinely unhappy but don't have the courage to end their relationship. I find it usually has to do more with the person doing the cheating than the spouse, because if a person truly want out of the marriage/relationship- they could break up. Cheating is never justified, for whatever reason.

As for happiness, only the person in question knows how they feel.

 

4. It is possible, yes. Some people are completely happy and just cheat for their own selfish needs. Even people in love can be tempted, but I think you need to think twice about what cheating will mean for the person you love.

And if you love someone enough, you'll out aside selfish desires for the sake of the relationship.

 

5. Neither is good obviously. I think both can hurt equally. Either one is a betrayal. It depends on the circumstances, but I think I'd have a hard time forgiving both.