We keep looking at each other...

[Roberto34]

No, it's not that at all. I'm pretty sure that she knows I am...at least she probably thought I was. I'm not sure about now because of my lack of action over the past 2 weeks.

 

She's been looking, but I've done nothing about it. I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure a woman would grow tired of this lack of action after awhile.

 

This is what frustrates me as well, because I KNOW I'm losing her with my lack of attention to her. Damn, I don't want to miss out on these chances.

[bostonbruins24]

Can you find out through someone else if she has a boyfriend? Is there anyone else at work that can help you to get to know her better or better yet set you guys up?

[Roberto34]

Bruins, although I like your thoughts, she def. has a man.

 

-----

 

Today's update:

 

Well, I finally spoke with her again. I was lucky, it was 1st thing in the morning while she was putting her lotion on or whatever near my area.

 

I was up, and went over there to clean my safety glasses.

 

Me: Hi, Jasmine.

Her: Smile and "Hi."

Me: So, did you do anything fun this weekend?

Her: I can't hear you...

Me: Did you do anything fun this weekend?

Her: Looking confused, still couldn't hear me...

Me: Mimicking sign language and saying "Did you do anything fun this weekend?"

Her: Laughed a little and told me "I went to a resort with my...boyfriend...and then I went clothes shopping."

Me: Oh, that's fun. I didn't do much, I tried to get back in shape, and now I'm too sore to do anything (both smiled about that). Alright, I'll talk to you later.

 

So I'm happy I finally spoke with her again, and I think she was cool with it as well. See, everytime she's brought up her man, she's been so hesitant to do so.

 

I don't know if she thinks it's gonna hurt me, or if she doesn't want to bring him up period? I'm not sure, and I don't care about the BF. Step by step, and I'll find out how she feels as we go. Also, when she mentions him, she just gives this forced brief little smile when she brings him up. Only she knows as to why she does that, and not a real one.

 

At least I spoke with her today, so I'm not mad at myself about not doing that, haha.

 

A few of us are gonna be going out for a drink or 2 on Friday after work. I was thinking of just casually asking her if she'd like to come along.

 

Would this be a good idea? I would basically just say "Hey Jasmine, a few of us are gonna be going for a drink after work on Friday, you wanna come along with us?"

 

I got a feeling she'll say no because I don't think she drinks alcohol, which is cool. I just hope that if she doesn't, she won't look at me negatively about that.

 

Alright, let me know what everyone thinks about today and my idea for Friday.

 

Thanks everyone.

[CharlesF]

I'm thinking maybe you shouldn't ask her out again. She brought up the boyfriend twice.

[Roberto34]

Yeah, I hear you.

 

But the times (twice) she brings him up, she's all hesitant about it, and she doesn't "light up" and/or put the vibe out that she's all that content/happy with him.

 

I was thinking that if she was happy with the guy, she'd be happier to talk about him/bring him up. I mean, she'd probably be more assertive when mentioning him, too.

 

I mean, we'll see how it goes, but I understand what you mean.

 

Thanks, Charles.

[bostonbruins24]

Ask her out but if she declines or mentions boyfriend again,I think you should let it go.

[Roberto34]

Ask her out in the 1 on 1 sense, or group setting?? The reason I ask this, is because this Friday a few from work are getting together and I was gonna invite her to come?

 

Or do you mean ask her to go out with me sometime for Hot Chocolate/whatever?

 

I was thinking the same thing, if she declines, I'm letting it go. No sense in dragging it on.

 

Thanks Bruins.

[bostonbruins24]

Ask her out in the 1 on 1 sense, or group setting?? The reason I ask this, is because this Friday a few from work are getting together and I was gonna invite her to come?

 

Or do you mean ask her to go out with me sometime for Hot Chocolate/whatever?

 

I was thinking the same thing, if she declines, I'm letting it go. No sense in dragging it on.

 

Thanks Bruins.

1-1 .If you ask her out as part of a group setting it will have no romantic element,she will not assume you are interested.Ask her for that hot chocolate.

[bostonbruins24]

After reading this again,I don't really like your odds ,at this time.She does sound somewhat interested but it is likely she is going to reject you ....at the moment.You should still ask her out but I think you are going to get rejected but at least you will know that it is because she has a boyfriend and it isn't you.

[Roberto34]

Yeah, I hear you, Bruins. I've already accepted the fact that she's brought her man up twice. I'm content with the fact that at the current moment, she is with someone.

 

I'll still invite her out this Friday, but keep it strictly casual when I ask her. I just want to put it out there that I'm asking her out, and I'm almost 100% sure that she'll deny me. However, I just want her to know that I'm actually asking her out for fun, so that she knows my intent.

 

I don't care if she says "no" or whatever, it's just the fact that she'll know I want to see her outside of work. If things are on the rocks, at least she knows that someone's serious about wanting to see her at least.

 

Thanks, Bruins.

[thejigsup]

Please don't ask another man's girl out for drinks or dinner. That's not nice.

[bostonbruins24]

Please don't ask another man's girl out for drinks or dinner. That's not nice.

It's the only way he can get closure with this girl.No one knows the status of her relationship,it might be virtually over.

[Roberto34]

I gave up on her. I don't need closure, I'm done.

 

I wave the white flag now.

 

Of course I wish I could've taken her out, but after she brought him up 2x, what can I do?

 

No need to stress over something I never gonna get. If she single, I'd ask, but right now, nothing I can do.

 

Thanks everyone.

[bostonbruins24]

I gave up on her. I don't need closure, I'm done.

 

I wave the white flag now.

 

Of course I wish I could've taken her out, but after she brought him up 2x, what can I do?

 

No need to stress over something I never gonna get. If she single, I'd ask, but right now, nothing I can do.

 

Thanks everyone.

For the time being just keep to yourself.If she becomes interested she will probably initiate a conversation with you.

[Roberto34]

Yeah, plus I don't need to get myself caught up in a situation at work over some type of harassment or something.

 

I don't stick my neck out for any woman, and this is the 1st time I did, because I was genuinely interested. I just don't need something to come back and bite me.

 

I'm beginning to regret I ever did it. I know better than to try and initiate something with a woman at work, yet the attraction made me do it.

 

I won't do it again. If she comes around, she does, but I'm 100% done with it all.

 

Thank you though, Bruins.

[bostonbruins24]

Yeah, plus I don't need to get myself caught up in a situation at work over some type of harassment or something.

 

I don't stick my neck out for any woman, and this is the 1st time I did, because I was genuinely interested. I just don't need something to come back and bite me.

 

I'm beginning to regret I ever did it. I know better than to try and initiate something with a woman at work, yet the attraction made me do it.

 

I won't do it again. If she comes around, she does, but I'm 100% done with it all.

 

Thank you though, Bruins.

What did you do? You didn't really do anything.You gave her some candy,big deal.So ,you made eyes at her ,the drama seemed to be mostly in your head.

[Roberto34]

Yeah, I didn't do anything, but I'm just saying that I'm just letting it go.

 

If she was single, I might have a shot; but she's involved, and brought her man up 2x.

 

I'm not gonna fight a battle I can't "win." Sucks, but it's whatever.

[Roberto34]

Well, I still see her looking, but I haven't spoken to her in quite awhile. We have a training class together tomorrow.

 

Today, it seemed as though she put herself in a few positions for me to say "hi." I didn't bite, though.

 

When I was leaving, we made eye contact, but I just turned, went upstairs, and left.

 

I don't want to put myself out there because she's brought up that man of hers 2x when we spoke.

 

Sucks though, 'cause she'll be off my shift soon enough now, maybe even next week.

 

I just wish that man of hers wasn't in the picture. Not saying that I want her to be unhappy, I'm just stating that I wish she was single. If she was, then I could just ask her out and hear her answer. Right now, I'm 99.9% sure she'll say no 'cause of that man of hers.

 

This all just sucks for me...

[Roberto34]

I hope with this Post, I can get some sort of knowledge from you people once again. Thank you well in advance, everyone.

 

Notice the time between Posts...that's right...MONTHS!

 

She's on 2nd Shift now, and when she comes in, she walks right past my area. 2 of my coworkers/friends (both are older people, both 40+ years old) tell me that she looks at me when she comes in.

 

She comes in, clocks in, goes to her area, and then she has to do something that puts her view looking directly at me, then she has to go back to her area. I don't look at her or anything. My friend that sits right alongside me says that she always glances at me, more than once while doing her thing, and then she walks back to her area to work.

 

I've caught her looking at me as well a few times since my last Post here, and she does the same thing, she'll look away. Although the very last time we made eye contact, I looked away because I just refuse to "play the game" or whatever.

 

My question is this: If she has a man, why does she do this?? What does she want??

 

Does she want me to speak with her again? Does she think I'm mad or something because I haven't said anything to her for so long? Does she just like looking at me?? What is it??

 

Why does she do this to me??

[shygal2008]

I am going through the same thing right now..he doesn't have a girl friend but he doesn't want a relationship with me..he told me in a note...we exchanged a few notes in our mailbox when i THOUGHT things were progressing..well anyway i cut him off completely LIKE YOU I DON'T WANT TO PLAY GAMES well ever since then (its been 2 weeks) he tries to say hello EVERYDAY, he won't stop looking at me..he stares actually, coming over to my area ALOT, walking by me, etc. everyone has noticed this as well SEVERAL PEOPLE but yet he says he wants nothing romantic.

 

I think they love the attention!!!!!!! If she has a man then she should be satisfied if my shy guy doesn't want the romantic thing (he's never had a girlfriend - painfully shy)then he should walk away..i have..i have froze him out but the problem is he keeps coming back, he won't go away!!! Its as if he can't except that I DON'T WANT HIM ANYMORE i moved on...if he can't have a REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH ME then i need to find someone else!!!!!

 

He sees i'm done...thats why he looks like a wounded dog now!!! LOL!!! I was very hurt and dosappointed when he left me the note in my mailbox at work..it looked liKE we were heading in a good direction but then NOTHING!!! He said he wasn't looking for that from me..what he's looking for i have no clue EVERYONE AT WORK WAS SOOOOO SHOCKED HE SAID NO they see how he is with me..how he's always been..i am heart broken but i had to walk away completely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I tell you when someone thinks they have lost you for good OR that you don't want them around and have moved on (their choice to let you go) they suddenly want that attention back, and thats what it is in my opinion ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!

 

People always want what they can't have Roberto, remember that..and the moment you show them attention again..they start to play the same games!

[Roberto34]

LMFAO!! I just found your new Post, and responded to yours, then I check mine, and here you are responding to mine!

 

Hahhaa...Thanks, Shy.

[Roberto34]

Good advice, by the way.

 

I'm not sure if she is trying to play any sort of game at all, but that's what I'm gonna call it.

 

I mean, this whole thing started because I noticed her looking at me one day. I always noticed her, but that made me notice her even more.

 

So then I approached, etc., etc. She told me she had a man, but then she kept checking me out.

 

That's why I've left the ball in her court, because the next move is hers to make.

 

I've said NOTHING to her since. My friend tells me that she's looking to see if I look at her, etc.

 

I'd still like to take her out and talk with her, but it's her move to approach me. I've tried a few times, but "she has a BF."

 

-Roberto

[shygal2008]

The boyfriend thing is a dead end. I would just go on with your life like i'm doing..the fact that she spoke to you and mentioned talking to her boyfriend on the phone, etc. that means she wants you to know she has a man..why else bring it up if you never asked her that or anything else about her love life!!!!!

 

Move on..its her loss...

[Roberto34]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. She can look or whatever, but I'm not chasing her or anything, the move is hers to make.

 

Thanks again, Shy. You've gotta do the same thing now!!

 

-Roberto

[shygal2008]

Its been months for me..he hasn't had any of my attention or focus and he won't again, HE just needs to accept it!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I have moved on..i've been talking to someone..so i'm good..