We keep looking at each other...

[AuthenticAuthor]

Why don't you just a pass a note to her if both of you are so shy of each other? Let her know that you think she's shy like you too, to excuse yourself from using what may appear to be a cowardly approach. I think she'll understand, and maybe even think highly of you for not bringing anything by word in the workplace. Whatever you do, I wouldn't e-mail her through the company itself; many companies now use e-mail sniffing tools to prevent unwanted behavior, including office romance. Of course, you should already know that.

 

But a letter should do fine. You're both so busy and all, and so shy, it makes the most sense.

[bostonbruins24]

Why don't you just a pass a note to her if both of you are so shy of each other? Let her know that you think she's shy like you too, to excuse yourself from using what may appear to be a cowardly approach. I think she'll understand, and maybe even think highly of you for not bringing anything by word in the workplace. Whatever you do, I wouldn't e-mail her through the company itself; many companies now use e-mail sniffing tools to prevent unwanted behavior, including office romance. Of course, you should already know that.

 

But a letter should do fine. You're both so busy and all, and so shy, it makes the most sense.

A long letter isn't the way to go but a small note ''would you like to get a cup of coffee,sometime'' ? That might be a good idea,if she doesn't respond you don't push it any further.

[Roberto34]

OK everyone...Update.

 

This is from yesterday. I couldn't get online because my Internet was down.

 

I went right up to her yesterday, and made a completely fool of myself.

 

Me: Hello "Jasmine."

Her: Hi

Me: You having a good day? (Who says this?!?!?!?!?)

Her: Yeah.

Me: You just get here?

Her: Yeah...

Me: Me too.

Me: So...you like your job?

Her: Yeah

Me: So what are you doing?

Her: WHAT? (puzzled/confused look on her face and in her tone)

Me: I mean, what do you do over here for your job?

Her: Tells me what she does...

Me: Fun right?...Ummm, alright, take care...

 

I went totally blank, felt stupid, and asked/said some stupid things. I tried to stay calm and collected, but as soon as I saw her eyes, I lost it. She's got these beautiful dark eyes.

 

Well, the rest of yesterday, I just replayed what I said in my mind, laughed 2 myself, and said "Man, WHO says these things?!?!?!" I didn't even catch her looking at me yesterday, but I was so upset and embarrassed with myself, that I only glanced over there twice the whole day.

 

I even got to thinking that the only reason I catch her looking at me, is because she caught me looking at her a few times, and was just wondering what the deal with me looking at her so often is/was. I was thinking that she probably thought I was a weirdo, and my lame convo confirmed this to her.

 

But then I remembered that I actually caught her looking at me outta the blue the 1st time. This is when it dawned on me that maybe she was interested, because we both kept looking at each other and all that.

 

------------------------

 

Today.

 

I planned on saying hello to her again this morning, but by the time I got in, she was already in her area and at work. Usually she puts lotion on her hands and is directly accross from me...well, very close anyways, and that's my shot to say hello/etc.

 

I missed out on it today, but it's OK. I caught her peeking at me a few times, and once it was very clear to me. We made eye contact, but I never get a chance to smile because she looks away so fast when we do make eye contact. I'm also a coward when it comes to this, because I hesitate to smile when we do lock eyes and hold it for a second or 2.

 

I get jealous/envious of this Engineer that oversees both of our depts. He's married and all, but he always talks with her, and gets her to smile. Today he got her to come out of her shell more, which is huge because like I said, she's so shy and all. He's obviously gained her trust, and I just wish I had that. I wish I could make her smile and we could talk, etc.

 

I know I sound like some whiny little kid right now, but I'm just telling the whole story to let everyone in on the whole situation.

 

---------------

 

Thanks for all the ideas, everyone. I don't want to pass a note because that honestly makes me look like a total wimp, and that I don't have any balls. I'm not that bad, despite becoming so shy around her. I want to ask her out for some hot chocolate/whatever, but I don't have that whole small talk thing with her yet.

 

I just want to go up and ask her so that I can be done with all the wondering of why I catch her looking/etc. I'm not opposed to just getting it over with and asking, but I don't wanna come off so aggressive and forward with her. It might put her off.

 

Ideas?? Thanks everyone!

[bostonbruins24]

I had a girl making eye contact with me the other night.She is a waitress.I felt the same thing you are feeling.Is she staring at me [we were both staring at each other ]because I was looking at her and she thinks I am some weirdo or is she staring at me because she is interested.You did well to attempt a conversation.Try another conversation or two to try and get an idea if she might be interested.I wouldn't take the plunge the next time you talk to her but try to lengthen the conversations if you can.If she is shy she is also going to appear awkward but she still may be interested.,

[Roberto34]

Oh yeah, that's the other thing. She didn't seem nervous or anything at all when I approached her. Not nervous/excited/happy, nothing.

 

I called her name, and she just was "Yeah..." Haha...I was tryna see if she would be nervous or not, too. Maybe she's better at hiding it, haha.

 

I'm not saying she was all "get outta here" or anything like that. I'm just confused, because I honestly and truly think she's interested, even if it's just a little bit. The reason I say this is because I blatantly catch her staring at me at times. Today she did just that. I caught her! Haha...

[bostonbruins24]

Oh yeah, that's the other thing. She didn't seem nervous or anything at all when I approached her. Not nervous/excited/happy, nothing.

 

I called her name, and she just was "Yeah..." Haha...I was tryna see if she would be nervous or not, too. Maybe she's better at hiding it, haha.

 

I'm not saying she was all "get outta here" or anything like that. I'm just confused, because I honestly and truly think she's interested, even if it's just a little bit. The reason I say this is because I blatantly catch her staring at me at times. Today she did just that. I caught her! Haha...

That's not the greatest sign in the world ,that she wwasn't the least bit enthusiastic so I would try talking to her again ,feel out the situation.

[CharlesF]

It sounds great. If she is staring at you, she probably likes you. I think it is like you said, she is good at hiding her neurovousness and excitement when she talks to you. Look up "conversation openers" or "dating conversation" on the internet and you will get allot of ideas of things you can ask her and talk to her about. I recommend picking out just a few good ones so you don't try to think of too many and end up forgetting it all. Then, maybe rehearse the convo a bit in your mind before seeing her again.

[Roberto34]

Bruins...I'm not sure if she was enthusiastic. Especially since I stormed up on her pretty much.

 

CharlesF...I KNOW she's staring, and I catch her, but I'm hesitant 2 talk with her because I have the feeling that I'll have 2 do 99% of the talking. And that'll make me nervous, and fumble again.

 

You know what happens to people that fumble? They get booted off the team, haha. I don't wanna get booted, and I def. wanna be on her team.

 

I'll look up conversation starters. Thanks, man.

[CharlesF]

Yea, I did that once. I had a date and I looked up something like "first date conversation". Suddenly, I found a ton of good ideas for conversation. I don't remember what they were offhand, but something about asking about her job, family, hobbies, etc. But in your case, you may want to avoid the job question because you see her at work.

[Roberto34]

Yeah, I've found some things, but it's for the 1st date/2nd date questions type of things.

 

I've gotta find something where I can get her attention and have her want to talk about it. I feel weird saying things such as: Nice earrings! Nice shoes/shirt! Where'd you get it?

 

I've read that I should ask things like that, but that seems like woman to woman talk, you know??

[AuthenticAuthor]

You remarked about her having beautiful dark eyes; tell her that! And top it off with explanation for why you can't look at her straight in the face for too long; "They're just too beautiful". Then ask her what foods she likes. If she asks you why, answer that you were simply wondering if she was hungry and would like to join for lunch. There. Mission accomplished.

 

And what I mean by "mission", I mean you asking her out.

 

By the way, if you're going to compliment someone's clothing, you better be prepared to explain why you like it. Otherwise, she'd just think you're trying to be nice without appreciating her tastes.

[Roberto34]

You remarked about her having beautiful dark eyes; tell her that! And top it off with explanation for why you can't look at her straight in the face for too long; "They're just too beautiful". Then ask her what foods she likes. If she asks you why, answer that you were simply wondering if she was hungry and would like to join for lunch. There. Mission accomplished.

 

And what I mean by "mission", I mean you asking her out.

 

By the way, if you're going to compliment someone's clothing, you better be prepared to explain why you like it. Otherwise, she'd just think you're trying to be nice without appreciating her tastes.

 

Yeah, that's why I don't wanna compliment clothes.

 

Well everyone, let me tell you about today.

 

Yesterday I drove up to an Asian market and got some candies. "Jasmine" is Asian. Today is obviously Halloween, and if you wanted to, you could dress up at work today.

 

Lots of people do it, and they give cash prizes and candy.

 

OK, so I approached her, and this is how it went down:

 

Me: Hello Jasmine, how are you?

Her: Good

Me: So...no costume?

Her: No, not for work anyways.

Me: Yeah, me either.

Me: I guess if you dress up, they give you candy and stuff.

Me: You don't like candy??

Her: No, I do...

Me: Oh...Well, I brought you some candy.

Us: Both red in the face, haha. (I think she said thank you, but I don't remember, haha)

Me: If you need more, let me know. Take care...

 

During our convo, I got closer to her and lowered my ear in so I could hear her better. She didn't move away, at least not that I noticed. I think she started to turn red when I got closer. When I saw her turning red, it made me more nervous, haha.

 

OK, so that's good. I'm happy I did this. I was nervous, but I did it.

 

Thing is, when she was leaving, I was coming around the corner, and she was in line with people waiting to clock out. I rounded the corner and made eye contact with her. I was gonna say "Bye Jasmine...," but she turned her head away when we made eye contact.

 

I know that she's shy, and that was only our 2nd time talking, so I hope that's all it was.

 

I hope that we can keep making progress though.

 

I also heard that she's single. Now single also means not married, so I've gotta find this out as well. Hopefully no man at all, haha.

 

Oh, and when I gave her the candy, I wrapped it up in a piece of these napkins we have at work, so that she wouldn't see exactly what it was until she opened the napkin. I hope she was pleasantly surprised to see those candies I got at the Asian store.

 

---------------------

 

I do like the above person's idea about her eyes and what foods she likes. I will ask her soon enough. I just wanna talk with her maybe 1-3x more, so I can get her more comfortable with me.

 

Any more ideas/thoughts/suggestions??

 

Thanks everyone!!

[bostonbruins24]

You did well! Particularly when you said ''I brought you some candy''. Her turning her head away later was likely due to her shyness.Her turning red tells me she was either embarrassed about your actions or she felt her feelings were painfully obvious.You did well but the mission isn't over yet.She now will know [or suspect]that you are interested.Next time you converse ask her out for coffee.It looks pretty good !

[Roberto34]

Thanks, Bruins!!

 

I hope if she was red because of embarrassment, it wasn't a "bad" type of embarrassment, if you get what I mean.

 

I also think she turned away because of her shyness. I hope that's the only reason as to why she did that.

 

Thanks!!

[bostonbruins24]

I just re-read your post and you gave her Asian candy,and she is Asian ?Then the cat is definitely out of the bag ,that is, she knows you are interested! You might want to see how she reacts towards you the next time you see her .If she isn't friendly then maybe you might not want to pull the trigger and ask her out.Or you could just go for it,you are the guy on the scene and know more about the situation than I do.

[Roberto34]

Yes Bruins, she is Asian. I was actually gonna greet her in her native language when I gave her the candy, but I wanted to save that for another time. Just as another surprise, haha.

 

If she doesn't know I'm into her, she definitely has her mind going though. I imagine she's thinking "Who is this guy? How does he know about this candy? Maybe his Asian friends at work here gave it to him and told him to give it to me? Or does he know about my culture?? If so, what else does he know??"

 

Whatever she is thinking exactly, I'm not sure, but I'm more than willing to bet that she IS in fact thinking about it.

 

I'm definitely going to speak with her again, hoping for Monday. I'm gonna ask how her weekend went, if she went to any Halloween parties, how she liked the candies I gave her, etc.

 

I might even say that I really like talking to her, but I was wondering if I could talk with her outside of work. Maybe asking of her number; or even asking her what foods she likes, and if she'd like to get it sometime and talk?

 

Thanks again, Bruins!!

[AuthenticAuthor]

Good job Roberto34! Here's a suggestion for a place to ask her out; the candy store where you got the Asian candy? I don't know if you ordered them through mail or not, but it's definitely a conversation-starter. If you ask me, you got the ball rolling and all you have to do from here on out is roll with it!

 

Now, do the I-Gave-Her-Candy Dance! How Time reminds us that we're still children.

 

You said she was Asian; do you know from which particular country she's from? Knowing her language would be a good move on your part; I'm impressed on how well you've exceeded my expectations. Mission accomplished.

[Roberto34]

Yes, I know what her Nationality is. Literally, 99% of all my friends are the same Nationality as her.

 

I knew she was when I 1st looked at her. I understand the Culture as well. I've dated a woman that was the same Nationality as well.

 

I have experience, haha.

 

About the candy...It's an Asian store where it's readily in stock. They sell all sorts of things such as food, drinks, cooking supplies, etc. that aren't found at the local Supermarket, because it's all about the specific Culture/Nationality at this store.

 

Haha, when I was buying the candy, I even had a convo with the owner about how I was getting the candy so I could talk with this girl. He smiled and gave me a big thumbs up, haha.

 

Thanks for the words of encouragement, AA!!

[CharlesF]

Excellent. Glad it went well. Keep us posted on Monday.

[Roberto34]

Well, it's Monday...

 

And it's also Game Over. She's got a man. Told me today.

 

Thanks for your help everyone.

 

I just don't get how I'd catch her staring at me, and then she'd turn away all quick when I'd catch her. Like I've said before, I'd catch her all the time doing this. I just don't get it.

 

I just don't understand females at all...

[sns256]

Well at least you tried Roberto. Good for you. I guarantee that you feel better now than if you had not done anything at all. I wish I had your courage. On to the next girl.

[Roberto34]

Thanks for the props, and I do feel better knowing. But I also feel confused.

 

I'm not someone that's all full of himself, and I actually need to feel I have enough "proof" that she's somewhat interested before I make my move.

 

Between what people at work thought, what people here thought, and more importantly, what I was thinking, was that all signs pointed to "yes."

 

Well, it just goes to show that I know nothing at all about how to read a woman's signals.

 

I just can't move on to the next girl, because I'm very hard to impress. I'm not someone that goes for looks, because if I was, I'd have had plenty of women in my day.

 

I need the whole package when it comes to women. Brains, looks, disposition, etc.

 

Well, at least her man is lucky, haha.

[bostonbruins24]

You might not have misread the signs as much as you think.She may have been staring because she thought you were attractive and things might have been on the rocks with her boyfriend.Who knows what happened over the weekend?They may have patched things up.You displayed some courage though[i wish I had it] and can use the experience to woo your next attempt.I think I might have looked for a few more clues that suggested she was interested before doing what you did but regardless,you got your answer and can move on.

[Roberto34]

Hey Bruins!

 

I thought similar thoughts about "what happened over the weekend." That's what I told my friend at work. I told him I have to make my move sooner than later, because every day that passes, and more importantly, every weekend that passes, someone else is more than likely moving closer to her.

 

You're probably right though. Things could've been heading South with her man, and might've been patched up with him over the weekend or whatever.

 

All I did today was invite her to have lunch with us (me and the people I sit with).

 

That's when she told me she was content with eating in her car because she gets the air and talks with her boyfriend (on the cell).

 

I told her that's cool and all.

 

Yeah, I guess it's on to the next one...however long it'll take in order for me to find one that interests me. I'm not easily impressed, to be honest.

 

So, the question is though...Do I continue being friendly (saying hello here and there, in order not 2 be in the dreaded friendzone), continue doing the "eye boning" as Mr. Hutz said, or do I just let it all ride out and forget about it??

[bostonbruins24]

Don't go out of your way to be friendly,no more gifts.Be friendly in a general sense,the way you are friendly to everyone at work.I wouldn't stare or look at her anymore unless she is obviously doing it.Try and forget about her if you can unless her actions tell you that she is interested.