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He didnt show up to move his stuff out!

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Okay if you dont know my story please see my other post.


I will keep this short. I havent posted in a couple weeks, because 2 months post breakup...Im finally doing much better. It just takes time guys...hang in there. Im not over it, I still love him and miss him, but I am getting comfortable living without him here.


Anyways to my problem now....He left 2 months ago only taking clothes...4 years, live in fiance! All of his stuff is still here. We moved into the house together, his mom and nanny passed away within the last year. So all of their stuff is here as well. He Ims me Tuesday saying I am coming to get my stuff on Sat. Demanding that I not ber here. Well I said F that S...your not coming to MY house taking stuff without me there. I said I have plans Sat, so I we cant do it. Now after thinking about it, I realized this has to be done...sent him a IM tht said fine be there Sat at 8 am. He said ok. I was very upset all week because I now know that its over....but I need to this. So im freaking out all week and all last night....got drunk with some girlfriends and was ready to this this today!......well gues what....HE DIDNT SHOW! No call, no text nothing.... I sent him a text that said whats up..where are you and nothing!Why in the hell would he do this to me? WHY?WHY?WHY?

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No I cant ship it to him...its like a house full of stuff....I can store it in my garage, but i want it gone so I can move on....His stuff his everywhere, I havent packed it. I told him he had to. But I think will now. I mean we have drawers, and cabinets, and closets, with our stuff mixed in together. I had told him since he left he was going to come do all this. But Im gonna do it and put it in the garage...work on it a little everyday this week. I just dont understand why he would demand his stuf and not show up! Im sure he is fine.

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I agree with DN. Pretty rude of him. I can understand why you wouldn't want to mess up your plans at his convenience - pretty reasonable of you under the circumstances to agree to this.


Trust me I didnt want to agree....but then I realized Im putting it off, for myself and I needed to get it over with...I didnt really have plans...lol!

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I can tell you this ......he is more then likely not over you yet and hurting. Moving out of anothers house that was once your home is one of the hardest things a person will ever do .........some do better then other, some break down in the process and can't do it at all. It hurts to bad to end it ..and the memories..


And I'm not kidding its really hard ....your going to a place that was once your home and it stirs up many memories .......it will tear you up inside. The other side of the coin is ........you said you were busy on Saturday ........more then likely that is what set him off......you see a man does not want to hear that stuff ......what a man wants to hear it that he is the most important thing in your life .....he sees your moving on and does not really want to face you .....he wanted to come get his stuff...but he did not want you there ...he was doing that because he did not want to hurt anymore then he already is, more then likely he is in bad shape .....


Moving is a trama for some people ........its just is horrible gathering things, packing them, looking around the house and seeing everything that once made you happy .....now all it does is stir up saddness as your packing, and everything starts to lose meaning ......he could not look at you in your eyes....because he would want you ...want to hug you.....and if animals are involved....its even brings more saddness .....so you wanted to be there to stand over him to make sure he did not take anything of yours ......I doubt he would ever do that anyway .......he just could not stand to do it while you were there was all.

That was his way of respecting you .....he can't face you because he loves you .....you more then likely hurt him ......and I'm sure he hurt you to .....whatever the case ........their was once love in that house and his spirit is still there is some ways


What matters is .......the hurt is still there. You may not see it in him wanting to come get his stuff while you were not there. But it was his way of dealing with it and showing some respect......because I'll bet if you are there he will break down and cry like a little baby.......and he did not want you to see him doing that.


How do I know this .....I did it myself ....and she was not there.....and it was horrible enough her not being there. .....I could only imagine what it would have been like had she been there .......and I still cried like a baby. I left the love of my life behind, and three wonderful pets that adored me .........I miss her and them everyday.


Let him get his stuff on his terms .....show him some respect....its hard on everybody either way. Thats why he did not show up, he did not want to put you out anymore then he already has.

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Thank you...I understand what your saying and yes we have 2 puppy kids that were BOTH of ours and they were our whole world. I know he misses them alot. He left me...just so to make that clear...I thought I was going to die...dont we all the first few weeks! He knows how bad he hurt me. He completely shut me out. I want him to see me....I dont want him to get away without facing me and what he did to me! Im still in shock that he didnt show...he knew I was going to be here and he said fine! Hmmm...I just dont know what to think....

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I think he is getting enjoyment out of this. Do what you are planning on doing and don't let it phase you. Pack his shiznit and put it in the driveway. IM him and say "All your stuff is in the driveway, come and get it when you want...hope it doesn't rain."


LMAO....when were drinking last night my girl said the same thing.....lets put his * * * * in the driveway now!...I was to drunk to do it though!

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When this happened to me a couple of months ago, I let her get the rest of her stuff while I was not here at her request, because clearly it was very hard for her, even though she is the leaver. There were some false starts and scheduling changes and unnecessary phone calls/emails. Then a few days later after she gets her things she sends a letter with the key saying it's too difficult to speak to me or see me right now. So I think he is behaving this way for similar reasons.


I let her go, I let her do what she needed to do how she wanted to do it. I told her I still loved her, and to be well, that she can have her space and we can leave it at that if that's what feels right to her.


Because I left it like that, it gave me a sort of closure on my end. And now since her things are gone, the only thing left for us to talk about would be us, so the phone/emails have ended. It's giving us both a chance to process, and either let go or reevaluate.

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Well, he will show .......thats a given just a matter of the day and time


You both hurt each other remember .......


It's never easy breaking up and especially if one of the parties does not want to .....more then likely he still loves you ...I"M SURE OF IT.


Good luck ......you may need a miriacle ....I would like to drive to my X's house today and see her but I can't I could not bare the thought of her ever being in someone elses arms ......ever


But she is gone now.......and its sad

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I agree... box up all his stuff and put it in the garage and tell him he has 10 days to come get it or you're call Good Will to have them haul it off.


You need to be free to continue your healing without evidence of him around. If he faces imminent loss of his stuff, then I suspect he WILL show up to get it.



I agree with this. He said he was going to collect the stuff on a specific day and did not. It isn't fair for him to leave you in limbo like this, wondering if/when he will turn up or if he'll try and call you again and pull the same stunt.

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You know what? Is money an issue here? Because if it is not - and you know where he lives now OR where some close member of his family is at - I would consider ordering one of the PODS (portable storage units) and placing all his things in it. Tell him it's in the driveway and he needs to make the arrangments to have it picked up and delivered to the destination of his choice within 30 days or go ahead and ship it to wherever you know he is at.


Whatcha think? Nothing will get stolen/ruined, it's not in the driveway out of the weather - but it IS out of your face and space in the meantime.

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Well, he does owe me money...$600.00...but I told him I didnt care about the money anymore, just come get his stuff!


Update...I sent him a Im asking what happened Sat.? He said why should he waste his time...I am probally hiding stuff! (I asked him if he was drunk or hi?) I swear he has lost his mind! I then said let me know when your coming to get it! And he signed off...then signed back on a few mins later ( hes always does this). But he didnt say anything nor did I! He gone crazy...I wouldnt "hide anything". weird huh?

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that is such a weird answer he gave you that makes no sense...


Obviously he's being petulant now, so i'd box up his stuff and put it in the garage and tell him to come get it. Then if he doesn't in a few weeks, either haul it to where he is and stack it up in front of his house (let him know it's coming first) or move it to a storage locker and tell him you've paid for the locker for a month or two, and he can either come get it there or the storage place will eventually sell it off.


He either doesn't really want to move out, or else he's playing a stupid game trying to upset you. Just take control and be reasonable and give him reasonable opportunities to get his stuff, and if he won't take those opportunities, then not your problem..

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I know I dont understand it either....its like he doesnt need it, so he just leaves it here! If he wanted it to be over he would have gotten it by now! I know I wouldnt leave my stuff anywhere! He knows how crazy he has made me....hes lucky I havent sold everything! And yeah his reason for not showing up is nuts! MEN....LOL!

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