I got response from letter. Scared to open.

[Wolf_22]

...Chances are he found out some bad news otherwise he'd probably have responded on here by now.

 

If so, hang strong atkin. Things will get better.

[LBP]

I'd say, chances are it was something good... And he's on the phone right now.

 

Just because someone doesn't call does not mean that they aren't interested in reconcilliation or contact... it could mean, quite simply, that they don't have the courage to pick up the phone. This happens.

 

if they are out and out dating someone new, doesn't happen. I hope there wasn't something like that in the letter.

[bfla]

if they are out and out dating someone new, doesn't happen. I hope there wasn't something like that in the letter.

 

I have to say, not from my own experience, but those that I've read here and other places, that this is not necessarily true.

[atkin733]

Ok.Thank you everyone for your insights. I am sorry it took so long to respond.

 

I want to let everyone know what happened. I did not open the email.I had plans last night and did not want them to be ruined. Do you know how I found out the contents of the email? My friends I went out with!! I played it off like I didn't hear back and they were like "Are you sure"? These friends are a guy and a girl. Apparently she emailed my friends girlfriend and told her of the letter and her answer was no!!!. In the next breath she tells her that I haven't responded and that she is worried about me.

 

I am quickly reaching the point of not liking this person very much. If you send an email stating that you do not want to get back together then * * * do you care that I havent't responded? Makes no sense to me and I can see games going on here.

 

I AM going to open the email today and respond. I am not sure what I am going to say yet. In one sense I want to show her I am pissed and the next I want to send a one liner to blow her off. On top of this she has some stuff of mine . I sent her stuff back to her via mail. She said she would give my stuff to this same mutual friend but she did not want to get involved. The same way I mailed her things she can do the same. I want this to be resolved one way or the other.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Do not lash out at her. Take the high road. When you respond, simply say something like this:

"Thank you very much for responding to my letter. As you do not want to get back together I need to heal and move on so I wish no further contact from you except for you to return the items of mine that you have as I have returned yours. I wish you well and all the best.

 

 

This way it is strictly professional, you don't wear your heart on your sleeve, you don't throw a hissy fit, your message is basically "oh well, I tried, I need my stuff back, have a nice life".

 

I think her using her friends as a go-between is very classless.

[DN]

Do not lash out at her. Take the high road. When you respond, simply say something like this:

"Thank you very much for responding to my letter. As you do not want to get back together I need to heal and move on so I wish no further contact from you except for you to return the items of mine that you have as I have returned yours. I wish you well and all the best.

 

 

This way it is strictly professional, you don't wear your heart on your sleeve, you don't throw a hissy fit, your message is basically "oh well, I tried, I need my stuff back, have a nice life".

 

I think her using her friends as a go-between is very classless.

Ditto to this - always better to keep calm and dignified.

[Fireman Sam]

Don't get angry and bitter with her. Try to end this on good terms or indifference....as hard as it is.

 

Save you anger for venting on this forum. Blow your stack at us....but don't do it to her. People can't always help how they feel and I'm sure she didn't want it to end like this either.

 

Sometimes life just sucks....and we just have to grin and bear it.

Tomorrows another day...and if you keep working on it...your bright future will be here before you know it.

 

It's up to you how fast you recover. Try not to let this eat you up.

Try to be happy and relax. I know this is hard...but if you work at it...it will come naturally again.

[atkin733]

Thanks to all. I guess the thing that confuses me is that she keeps asking my friends girlfriend to hang out. They were never close before this and all of a sudden she is. Makes no sense. I think the only way to do this is to write her and tell her to leave me alone and my friends.

[Fireman Sam]

I would advise not writing her at all. She is free to be friends with whom ever she likes and you have no right to tell her who she can contact and hang with.

 

Please don't take offence to this. I'm trying to give you rational advise.

 

You could always confide in your friends and let them know you are hurting from the breakup and while your wounds are still raw...you would rather keep your distance from your ex. They can help facilitate that on their own terms.

 

Don't put pressure on your friends either. They don't want to take sides in issues like this.

[atkin733]

They are MY friends!! They are not her friends.There is no reason for her to be talking to them. It's like she is telling me she doesn't want to be with me and at the same time wants to be in my life. My friends say it is very strange and she is immature and trying to make me learn a lesson before she comes back.

[atkin733]

I would advise not writing her at all. She is free to be friends with whom ever she likes and you have no right to tell her who she can contact and hang with.

 

Please don't take offence to this. I'm trying to give you rational advise.

 

You could always confide in your friends and let them know you are hurting from the breakup and while your wounds are still raw...you would rather keep your distance from your ex. They can help facilitate that on their own terms.

 

Don't put pressure on your friends either. They don't want to take sides in issues like this.

 

I am going to say this. I know what she wrote in the email.However, there is something fishy about this whole thing. Here is why I say this:

 

1. She has not returned my stuff even after I sent her stuff back . She can box my stuff up and mail it. It is 2 miles away and she can afford it. If I broke up with someone I would make sure all their stuff was returned to end any type of reason for contact.

 

2. She wrote me this letter at 11:00 pm Thursday night. She was already emailing my friends on Friday saying she was worried that I had not responded. I appears she is looking for a reaction from me and I think this is just sick.

 

3. She keeps asking my friends about me saying that she is "worried" about me. I am sorry but when you break up with someone the word "worry" is not one of the things that comes to mind.

 

I have asked my friends to end all contact with her. I already confided in them and they know how hurt I am. There is no reason for her to be talking to them.

[Fireman Sam]

I'm not sure what can be gained by comunicating with her. I would just let it be for a while.

 

If it seems weird that she is contacting your friends.....so what...let it be weird.

 

I am seeing that weird behaviour is quite normal during a breakup. Weird behaviour from both parties. Believe me when I say I have done some pretty petty stupid stuff that I already regret.

 

This could be an effort on her part to retain some sort of attachment to you still.

 

Don't be mean to her and tell her she can't be friendly to your friends. That would be one of the things that you will probably look back on and think was silly weird behaviour on your part.

 

I know it's emotionally killing you...but you have to be smart and strong. It's lessons like this that really build your character. You don't see this now..but how you react to stressfull situations like this in life really show what kind of person you really are.

 

Be the best you can be.

[GoldenHillGuy]

Just open it man!

 

Open Open Open Open Open Open Open Open Open Open!

 

OOOOOPPPPPPPEEEEEENNNNNNN! Suspense is killing meeeeee!

 

LOL. Aw, man.

 

I think he's just teasing us now....

 

OMG...open the freaking email!

 

Any one know where he lives?

 

LMAO!!! I needed a laugh!

 

Apparently Mr atkins doesn't realize that we are all a bunch of deprived and sad people. Why would anyone want to hurt us like this?

 

 

...lol.

 

Dude, quit dilly dallying around and open it already!

 

Hes online...we can see you!

 

lol!

 

...We should report him for unsupporting conduct.

 

Y'all are HORRIBLE. LOL

 

Seriously, sorry to hear the outcome. You know what you must do now. Don't reply to the letter at all. Take it as closure and move yourself on down the road. Be the bigger person and don't TAKE THE BAIT. That's how I see it from here. Take Care!

[Lady Bugg]

Atkins, I understand you are angry with her...but to tell her or your friends not to talk to each other is being immature. If you feel your friends are spending too much time with her, then distance yourself from them for a while. There is no need to punish them

because your relationship didn't work out. It is always a possibility your ex is playing games, but reacting to her is only making you a participant to it.

 

I agree with the other poster who said to reply in a civil but "businesslike' manner.

You are angry because she rejected you..that is completely understandable...but

lashing out will likely only justify things in her mind. You reached out to her...and she made her choice.

 

I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

[fixyou_]

c'mon what's it say? =\

[Zeter]

I had a similar issue about the ex and friends. All the people she befriended (including the b/f she dumped me for) were through me. I asked her to move on from this group of friends, and she refused and stepped it up until a rather unpleasant result three months after the dumping, in front of all these people. The result was we were both tarnished by it all and neither of us (nor the new b/f) see those friends anymore. You see, she makes no friends of her own.

 

Zeter

[hockeyboy]

she can still care for and about you but not want to get back together with you and that is what it sounds like here. she's worried, because she cares...but she doesn't want you back.`don't lash out at her and continue to move on...it's your best option, regardless of what you want from the situation.