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Everything posted by fixyou_

  1. Yep, he said selfish. Interesting, because something similar happened a couple weeks ago and I said he was acting selfish. Guess it’s a new hot word to use. I just feel like crap. I even tried smoothing things out and it made it worse because he isn’t or doesn’t want to recognize that what he said was hurtful and untrue.
  2. I guess my concern is not wanting to play games. We have one laundry basket in the laundry room. Do I only take out my laundry and leave his? lol Not to mention I’m vegan and he’s not, so I make two different meals each time.
  3. It’s really draining doing all of it... and to be called selfish... ugh.
  4. Who knows. He would vacuum and mop the floors before I worked from home, but now since I’m home all the time, I guess it’s on me. He asked if I wanted him to vacuum last weekend and I said no, because he had just come in from work and said he was exhausted.
  5. My bf and I have been together almost 4 years. We have lived together for a few months. I’m 31, he’s 33. We both work. I am working from home because of the virus, whereas he still has to work normally. We got a dog together. So, I do the household chores, take care of the dog, do the shopping... you know. I ask him to take out our dog like once a day. He told me today that I need to help him out more. That his job is physical and he breaks his back all day, so I should take the dog out. Prior to the virus, my commute is an hour each way. We moved where we live now because it was more convenient for him. I agreed. It also allowed us to get a dog because he’d take her out on his lunch. So, I told him I’m tired of him saying that he breaks his back. I do everything for him. Laundry, cleaning, cooking, making him a fresh, hot lunch EVERYDAY on his break. I work from home. He says he knows I still work, but it’s “easier for me.” It’s not! I hate working from home. It’s stressful and hard for me to get things done. I told him I’m so hurt that he called me selfish. And on top of that he left after he said that to return back to work without even saying goodbye to me. I also told him if this is how it’s gonna be that I can’t imagine me wanting to have kids with him. He seemed taken aback.
  6. It would be outside of inner city Boston. She does not like parks— doesn’t like going for walks because the sound of cars scares her. My parents have a fenced in acre where she roams freely. I feel like she’d be mentally better there. I just don’t know how to deal with “leaving” her. She has always slept in my room. She only feels safe when I bring her to the vet, etc.
  7. So, I’ve been with my bf for 3 years. We’ve been living at home and saving to move out. We have looked at a few places and know where the area we want to live in. The thing is— i feel stuck. I’m torn. Over the summer I mainly stayed at my parents to care for our ailing chocolate lab who passed away over the summer. I was fortune enough to have the summer off of work, and never would have been able to live with myself if I wasn’t there for our family dog. We have another family dog, she’s almost 12– she was affected by his passing too. They were best friends for 11 years. My brother has some mental health issues that are severely neglected, and my parents severely enable him. It’s made living here unbearable and I told my bf that I can’t live here anymore and we need to get a place now. He agreed. To be clear, I’ve been physically assaulted several times, had my life threatened, and don’t feel safe anymore. My parents refuse to do anything out of fear of my brother and I just honestly feel like it’s too much for them to deal with, so they don’t do anything. My mom has witnessed the physical assaults and does nothing. She says, “Oh. He didn’t mean to hit you. Stop crying. You’re ok.” Yeah, seriously. My parents know I was in an awful physically abusive relationship from 18-22. The thing is...I feel heartbroken even thinking about leaving Jane. She has anxiety and has bonded to me and I can do things and pick her up— and no one else has this relationship with her. I don’t want to leave her. If I could take her, I don’t know if she’d like it. We’d be living in a busy city and she’s been in a quiet, wooded suburb for her life. She’s my best friend. I want to be with her for however long she has left— she’s still very active. Thoughts?
  8. No... It makes me not like him. He does do things other than game, but it just doesn’t feel like it’s enough. For example, we took my mom out last week for mother’ day and he got her a really nice gift. It is just so focused on him and his friends and not so much on me. It should be the opposite. I’ve thought about this. Is this what I have to accept? Or do I be single and lonely and regret giving up on someone that I love very much.
  9. So, I see my boyfriend about 3-4 times a week. We live an hour apart and have been together 3 years. We are saving to buy a house together. It seems like when we are together he is constantly texting his friends or asks me to play video games with him (which I enjoy on my own anyways) that he just wants to play so he can also play with his friends (that he texts, like above) and talk to them on the mic. I just get pushed to the side. I’ve brought this up twice to him the last couple months... it’s just draining. I didn’t even go over tonight and said I wasn’t feeling good and goodnight really early so that I didn’t have to wait around to talk to him (because he’s playing video games with his friends). I just feel so pushed to the side. I’m not a priority at all. He tries to make it feel or seem like I am by inviting me to play video games, but it’s like a trick. We never really get time for just us. Like ever. I’m drained.
  10. My concern is that this guy likes my boyfriend and my boyfriend doesn’t see it. I don’t think I’m worried about my bf... he never replies to the weird messages I saw, but it stil makes me feel uncomfortable that this kinda random guy is saying things like that to my bf.
  11. Nowhere did I express that concern. Quite frankly, I’m appalled you brought that into my thread.
  12. Is there a moderator who can remove the comment from wiseman? I’m really bothered by it and it goes way off topic.
  13. Thanks for the advice. I do remember a few months ago this guy said he was going to be in the area and asked to meet up with my bf. He said yes, but as far as I know the guy never ended up taking the trip.
  14. I’m not going to invade his privacy anymore than I already have by seeing those messages while playing. I’m aware what a keylogger is, but if it comes to that point... mind as well not even do it and leave. Yeah, I mean, it’s just a little weird to me. I don’t even do that with my girl friends.
  15. We have been together for 3 years. When we first started dating, he told me that his longest relationship was 3 months... and that was when we were 26. I kinda questioned it at first, wondering why, but I chalked it up to him being shy and no one giving him a chance. Now, after seeing what I’ve said, I feel a bit concerned. :/ and I don’t know how to bring it up without accusing or coming off the wrong way...
  16. Ok, so, my boyfriend plays video games and has a few online friends. One guy he has been talking to for a couple years. Sometimes when I am playing video games on my boyfriend’s tv, the guy will message him thinking it’s him and send a few messages. Sometimes my bf will answer and say that his gf is on. So, the guy sent a message asking if it was me, and I said yes. When I opened up the text box online I could see previous messages from the guy, including I (heart emoji) you. That kinda creeped me out A LOT. I noticed a few weeks ago that my bf and this guy exchanged phone numbers and now frequently text. This guy messages my boyfriend ALL THE TIME. It’s teally starting to make me feel uncomfortable, and I’ve seen a few texts when my bf’s phone has lit up that are also weird, like “I miss u,” and constantly asking to play. In the video game messages, I saw that this guy asks where I am a lot... and when I’m going to come back, if I’m out. It is a guy, I’ve heard his voice when they are playing. I don’t want to overreact or misjudge, so I haven’t said anything, but I would like some outside perspectives. This guy is supposedly in his mid 20s, a little younger than us.
  17. The “letting” part - I don’t let him play or not play. If there’s a time where I feel like we need couple time, I say that. If he wants to play, he can, he just might be pushing me away, but I’d never say you’re not playing.like I said, I also play games, but I have weekends and holidays off- he doesn’t. And I mainly “wait” at his house because he says all the time that he doesn’t want me driving back and forth because it’s a crazy amount of driving, time, and money. Idk. It’s not like I don’t want him to have time to himself- sure I do.he does have fine to himself, just maybe not as much as he wants, but I feel like he’s rathee be playing games than doing something with me. I’ve told him I want to do things like go see a movie, or dinner, but like I said he works long hours and we don’t always have the same days off, so I understand— this is the last few weeks. Before that we did things more often.
  18. Those are not facts. Please read what I wrote. We don’t see each other every day. He has plenty of nights where he stays up late and plays when I’m not there and he will when I am there too one or two of the three or four days i am there. He spends an hour or maybe 2 hours with me and then falls asleep because he is tired.
  19. And I wasn’t being catty about it; I said it softly as if I was hurt. I get quiet when I’m hurt or upset.
  20. Woah. Back off. I bring him lunch on saturdays only... and I’m there to sleep over 3-4 nights a week. He is the one who initiated this and asks me if I’m coming over so he can make sure I have a parkin g spot and bring my things up. I never said his gaming was a problem, so calm down. I understand he needs a balance between doing things he wants and being in a relationship... I said this is mainly recently. I feel like you are being overly judgmental and berating. Sorry but if I’m in a room that needs to be swept and picked up, I’m going to do it rather than just sit in it. I know when he needs to decompress, so sometimes I encourage him to play or I’ll go out, but I do want time for us and I feel like it’s not happening and I’m not repeating myself.
  21. Hi. Thanks for the reply. I do have interests outside of this and have been more active in them lately. I’ve been making more time with friends— no more courses lol I have my master’s. It’s definitely depressing to hear what you said, but I understand it. Wonder what will happen now.
  22. If you don’t like that she smokes, don’t start a relationship. You can’t change what she does, and she seems to be already showing that. I know you want a girlfriend, but so you want to settle for one who smokes and vapes—or wait for someone who has more of what you’re looking for.
  23. Ok, so let me start off by saying that I also play video games and have days here and there where I play for a few hours a day. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years. He’s always been an avid gamer, and it never really bothered me much until the past few months. He works a ton-6 days a week, long hours, and I go over his house most wednesday nights and sleep over, as well as the weekend. We are both saving to buy our own place in a more convenient location. I live an hour away. So, some nights when I’m there he will come home and we will see each other for maybe an hour and he’s exhausted, so he will go to sleep. Some days he will come home or have Sunday off and want to play like all day and night. The few nights he is by himself he will play all night and stay up late. We haven’t really had any time as a couple lately, and I’ve said it a few times. Today before he left for work he made a joke about letting him play later so he could have a better score.... and I just felt so empty inside and said softly, “That’s really what you wanna do when you come home?” He’s like, “Ok. I won’t play,” and got kinda distant. Like I wait around all day for him to come home when I’m here. I get my work stuff ready for the week, relax, do his laundry, get him things he needs for the week, clean his room... sometimes I’ll meet with my friends or play video games. I get that he doesn’t have the time off that I have, but weeks where I am super busy with work I always make sure I have time for us. I usually always bring him lunch on saturdays— lately he says no because he’s too busy. I just feel so pushed away and I’ve told him I’m not going to keep trying to make time to spend together. And after he said that this morning, I feel like crap. For the first two years together I never said a peep about this and just sat there and watched some tv- I’ve told him that things have changed and I don’t always wanna watch the back of his head and would rather do things together sometimes. Sometimes when we do hang out I can tell he just wants to play and I get frustrated and tell him go play cuz I don’t want to hang out with someone who’s head is elsewhere. I love him. This isn’t like how things normally are, but lately it’s all that it is. I know he doesn’t have time to relax much and he says he likes to play and hang out with me at the same time. I told him it doesn’t work like that. He will rub my feet while he plays... it’s sweet. I just want more time for us to do things like watch a movie, lay in bed, or go out. I don’t want to feel like I have to compete with a video game and some random people online that he is friends with— which I feel like he wants to talk to some random person more than me. Idk. Any advice? I kinda wanna just go home tonight cuz I’m aggravated that he said that and wants to play rather than do something with me, but I also don’t wanna cause a fight.
  24. I had my knee scoped yesterday to fix my meniscus. From yesterday to this afternoon I was fine. I didn’t need crutches at all, so I walked around a decent amount of the day. Now, I can barely move my leg and definitely cannot walk lol. Is this normal? Did I overuse my knee? I think I’m going back to the crutches for the next couple days.
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