tips for a sexy night (not with bf ;-)

[hers]

I agree. Also, to me it just sounds like such a cliche..."we will always have Paris" or "Casablanca" or "name a city". I wonder if it is a girl thing the thinking fondly of these flings...I wonder if the guy also remembers it like it was something very special to be cherished all the rest of his life even when he is married to someone else.

 

What difference does it matter though if the guy is remembering it the same way? Isn't that the stipulation, so to speak, of the relationship? They'll never see each other again but she has a good memory. Clouding her thoughts with the "what ifs" and "I wonders" could ruin the memory for her so I think it's great if she has that memory as it is with nothing else. Cliche or not, who are you to label her past experiences?

[Honey Pumpkin]

Lol - why do you think he wouldn't remember it fondly? I honestly don't get the attitude here, about thinking that men 'are just after one thing'.

 

I think the guy just sees it as an opportunity to get laid on his vacation or time away from home. This is the whole point...the woman does indeed tend to have more of a romantic notion of these things no matter how much she tries to convince herself that it is just for fun.

 

That was so absolutely not how it was - it's interesting how you're trying to stereotype genders and generalise here, you know. It's a bit limiting to see people as 'men are like this' and 'women are like that'. In my opinion. It's all a bit more complex and interesting than that. Must be hard to see men as only after one thing, and potentially make you suspicious.

 

Maybe I am romanticising, but I have to say, it's something I have never regretted. I don't know why you would use such nasty comments as 'cheap fling'. Why would you attack like that, knowing zero about me? I have never cheated on anyone, never hurt anyone deliberately, never practised unsafe sex, and we were not committed to anyone else. Why is that 'cheap'? Ah well, each to their own I guess. I'm not going to judge your choices, they are yours. That's the beauty of life.

[Honey Pumpkin]

I find it a little odd that you would reminisce so fondly about something you describe as having been a "wicked interlude" (your words), but we're all different. I don't say that as a moral statement in the least (I don't view this kind of thing through a moral lens), but it's just something I really don't relate to at all.

 

Lol - it's just a term. I've never been unfaithful to anyone, or done anything that I am ashamed of. I just like to think of my Paris fling as being a happy, naughty memory.

 

Ah, l'amour...(I am definitely channeling Pepe le Peu here, I feel... )

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I am not trying to insult anyone...I just think many women still try to romanticize things which are really all about animalistic sex in order to make it more acceptable. Women are offended if their sexual flings are likened to porn movie sex..so they jazz it up and create a bit of romance in their mind...but chances are most (I am not saying all) men who embark on these flings, whether they last one time or a handful of times, are still looking at it as a way to get their rocks off. It is the same with women who embark on FWBs who really think they have a great friendship going...makes it more palatable to think of it that way then to accept that you are simply the means of the guy to get his rocks off. Like I said, I am not on here to insult anybody... I just see too many people with blinders on trying to jazz up something which is pure and simple sex. It is fine if two people want to have this kind of sex and enjoyment...but don't kid yourself into thinking it is something more romantic and "noble". That's where I have the real issue. Call it what it really is, not some jazzed up politically correct thing. If the man want the sex, of course he is going to be attentive and play up the romance...doesn't mean it is anything more than smoke and mirrors to get to the real business of the sex. Going on a vacation and meeting a guy is the cliched fantasy for women...the ultimate in romance...something to talk about to their friends in a dreamy way like Olivia Newton John in Grease. For many men, it is just the nudge nudge wink wink, I got laid many times while I was away on my trip....cue John Travolta in Grease.

[Honey Pumpkin]

Well, to be honest, you ARE insulting me by your insistence that I don't know my own life story. I don't see why I have to be 'kidding' myself about my experiences, and I am absolutely not. I have had a fling, it was passionate, exciting and romantic. It wasn't cheap, it didn't hurt, I have nothing but happy memories about it ten years later.

 

You have a different view of the world to me - fine. But equally I am surprised by your insistence that a short fling has to be seen by your terms. It seems cynical, and I wonder if you have been badly hurt in the past; I am sorry if you have, and I agree that many relationships can be very painful and hurtful. I am equally saying that just because something isn't forever, that doesn't devalue it at all.

 

Anyway, we have different view points, I wanted to add mine because I felt the OP was receiving a rather one-sided perspective, and i wanted to say in my experience, it was a fabulous one month fling with someone I liked and respected a lot. And I hope she has a sizzling and fun time with her man!

[Batya33]

COD - I have fond memories of Club Bed too (although gosh there were soooo many Canadians, lol) although I never did the all the way part - and not just because of the sand issue. There was one fling that occurred between a GO and a GM (that's staff and guest for those you of you non-Club Bedders) in the glass enclosed gym......

 

There are people who can deal with the downside of a fling - women and men - and enjoy the memories - even if the other person didn't see it that way (especially where you don't have contact with the other person again, so how would you know, anyway).

[novaseeker]

I am equally saying that just because something isn't forever, that doesn't devalue it at all.

 

Some would disagree, of course. My position is different strokes for different folks, but be aware of the dangers of different stroking. For you that may not devalue the experience, but it does for me, and I know for certain that it does for many others. You can't really express your own position in general terms (as you did there) any more than I can my own. I respect your own memories, I really do, but I do not view that kind of scenario as you do.

[ghost69]

really really short cotton shorts. and 'drop' stuff a lot.