tips for a sexy night (not with bf ;-)

[some strange girl]

I would need your advice on how to plan a (hot!) night with someone I don’t really know that well…

 

So I went on holiday last week with a group of friends, and had a fling with one of the guys (we didn’t know each other before); it was great fun and I was surprised he didn’t even mind the others seeing us kissing and holding hands etc. So, it was really a great holiday thing, yet not for real life because he’s going abroad for half a year in two months. I’m ok with us having had a good time those few days, so it’s not like we’re deeply emotionally attached, but we both enjoyed it very much. We have kept contact and will see each other in two weeks time at our holiday revival party, and he has also asked me to sleep over at his apartment next week.

 

The thing is – during the holiday, we were in our group of friends all the time, apart from the nights (great sex!), and I’m a bit nervous how it will be if its just the two of us. I don’t want this to be awkward; I know he’s a very outgoing, fun kind of guy so I think he’s quite open to suggestions. I wanted to surprise him a little bit, make the best of the time that’s left before he leaves and wanted to make our next encounter a very sexy night that he will remember; yet I’m unsure how to approach this – it’s not like we’re together for real, so what do I do? Bring strawberries and champagne? Massage oil? It has to be sexy but not too kinky, I don’t want to scare him off ;-)

 

Suggestions please!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I would suggest renting a bunch of porn movies and getting some ideas from there on how to make it a night to remember...and plenty of durable condoms that won't break. I would also suggest getting yourself tested for STDs after this weekend of fun...and before you actually have a serious relationship with someone.

[kuiks8]

i would get an outfit...a sexy corset, lace panties and don't forget the thigh high stockings....

[shy2cool]

Mud, Jelly and your birthday suits.

[KG]

i would get an outfit...a sexy corset, lace panties and don't forget the thigh high stockings....

 

That would do it for me! LOL! Sexy, but not over the top! Black or red outfit!

[Batya33]

I would remember that he is 50% responsible for making this a fun/interesting time for the two of you. I would avoid the cliche/canned ideas from porn movies and if things are awkward/distant well that's normal for two people who barely know each other (other than "bare") and just end it early rather than trying to force "excitement" aside from the sex.

[KG]

kuiks has an awesome idea. But you could add to it by wearing that outfit under a dress, like to dinner. And undressing for him slowly when you two are alone. I'm not saying stripper. I'm saying slowly removing the dress, or skirt and top, while swaying to your own rhythm. Make it sensual and erotic, without being tacky. Sensuality and this type of undressing is very arousing and it builds anticipation. Let him think about you and only you. Wear the thigh high stocking and sexy heels, with a dress or a skirt with a high side slit. And when you walk and sit, let him see the top of the stockings. Trust me, he wont be able to think of anything but you. Good luck!

 

LOL!!!! They won't make it through dinner!!!!!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I would remember that he is 50% responsible for making this a fun/interesting time for the two of you. I would avoid the cliche/canned ideas from porn movies and if things are awkward/distant well that's normal for two people who barely know each other (other than "bare") and just end it early rather than trying to force "excitement" aside from the sex.

 

I was being facetious when talking about the porn movies...because really, this whole sexual liaison does indeed have the same kind of "feel" as a porn movie...so since this is really about unbridled, animalistic sex rather than anything emotional and deep, the porn movie examples are quite fitting.

[Batya33]

"and I’m a bit nervous how it will be if its just the two of us. I don’t want this to be awkward"

 

that made it sound like she wants it to be fun even out of the bedroom unless she means they had sex in front of their friends!

[BeStrongBeHappy]

I think he will be so excited about a no strings attached holiday that you won't have to do anything and he will be very happy!

 

Most men don't care as long as the holiday involves lots of you being naked!

 

So just relax and know that you are giving him a gift that many men dream of ... a holiday involving lots of sex then they have absolutely no responsibilities to the girl as soon as it is over. He can really let loose with the fun and romance because you won't be expecting it all the time, nor that it 'means' anything where you will expect more from him.

 

Just go and have fun! (and throw in some b.j.s since that is what most men REALLY ask for when they want a really sexy night... they love being taken care of that way).

[hers]

I was being facetious when talking about the porn movies...because really, this whole sexual liaison does indeed have the same kind of "feel" as a porn movie...so since this is really about unbridled, animalistic sex rather than anything emotional and deep, the porn movie examples are quite fitting.

 

I don't understand why the "joke" was necessary, CAD. I always like your advice, but when it comes to sex, you seem a little disturbed about "no strings attached" and always voice it clearly (and often unnecessarily). Not everyone needs romance and emotions involved. Sometimes, especially this day and age, people like to have unbridled animalistic sex and there's nothing wrong with that. The OP was not asking for judgment or "jokes" like this. She's merely looking for good suggestions to make this a fun night to remember while she's on vacation, and kudos to her for asking.

 

I agree with Kuiks--for a guy you won't ever really see again, leaving him with the thought of a sexy girl in a sexy outfit is definitely the way to leave him.

[kevinm]

I don't understand why the "joke" was necessary, CAD. I always like your advice, but when it comes to sex, you seem a little disturbed about "no strings attached" and always voice it clearly (and often unnecessarily). Not everyone needs romance and emotions involved. Sometimes, especially this day and age, people like to have unbridled animalistic sex and there's nothing wrong with that. The OP was not asking for judgment or "jokes" like this. She's merely looking for good suggestions to make this a fun night to remember while she's on vacation, and kudos to her for asking.

 

Agree 100% with this!!! Like the saying goes, if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it. There's no need to defend (or assert) your position on the matter when the question hasn't been asked.

 

-Kevin

[kuiks8]

or more to that...wear a cute/sexy dress to dinner and let him know there is nothing underneath...see how much he concentrates on his food then

lol

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I don't understand why the "joke" was necessary, CAD. I always like your advice, but when it comes to sex, you seem a little disturbed about "no strings attached" and always voice it clearly (and often unnecessarily). Not everyone needs romance and emotions involved. Sometimes, especially this day and age, people like to have unbridled animalistic sex and there's nothing wrong with that. The OP was not asking for judgment or "jokes" like this. She's merely looking for good suggestions to make this a fun night to remember while she's on vacation, and kudos to her for asking.

 

I agree with Kuiks--for a guy you won't ever really see again, leaving him with the thought of a sexy girl in a sexy outfit is definitely the way to leave him.

 

 

Because then they always come back on this board crying and wailing about how they fell for the person, or how come the person didn't call, or how many sex partners their significant other had compared to them, or how while they only had 2 one-night stands, their partner saw prostitutes etc etc isn't that terrible etc. People want animalistic sex and then when they fall in love, they are horrified that their partner actually had animalistic sex with more partners then them, or was more adventurous with their animalistic sex which suddenly makes them dirty. There always seems to be a double standard when it comes to sex..."it is okay if I did it, but if the person I love did it, then I am going to be insanely jealous and insecure". So hopefully after this weekend of animalistic sex, we don't have her posting about how the guy treated her like crap and she never heard from him again....or, if she meets and falls in love with someone, she doesn't get bent out of shape if the love of her life used to visit prostitutes.

 

This forum is not only about answering the question at hand, it is about digging deeper into what is going on and what can possibly happen later on. People don't use their heads when they think about their sexual pleasure...and from what I have seen over and over on this forum, it does tend to come back and bite them on the butt in one way or the other. My point in saying what I was saying is to simply that people seem to have this lofty notion that even though they are having animalistic sex with a stranger, somehow that is on a higher plain than porn movie sex or prostitution...it is not..it comes out to the same thing...to pretend otherwise is just being hypocritical.

 

She clearly had no problems sexually entertaining him before so I don't think being alone with him is going to be an issue. All he cares about is getting lucky. So if the OP is really prepared to never hear from him again unless he is in town looking for a quickie then by all means go for it.

[karma85]

ok i'm just gunna say it ok major STD TESTIN JUST TO BE SAFE...LOL

 

 

AND YOU DONT KNO THIS GUY ?....HMMM. NOT REALLY LIKEIN THAT PART..BUT I'M NOT GUNNA MAKE JUDGE MENT ON U BUT HEY W/E MAKES U HAPPY GIRL .LOL

 

I AGREE WITH kuiks8 PART ABOUT GOIN OUT TO DINNER THAT WOULD MESS HIM UP AND IT WOULD MAKE HIM WANT U SO YA MIX THAT IN WITH MINE IF U CAN...AND HERES WHAT I THINK U SHOULD ALSO TRY

 

 

 

OK TAKE A BUBBLE BATH AND TEASE HIM...I MEAN REALLY TEASE HIM. OK THEN GO TO THE BEDROOM

 

TIE HIM UP BLIND FOLD HIM...FEED HIM STRAW BERRYS OK....""ORAL SEX "" YOU CANT GO WRONG WITH THAT..ITS A MUST!.AND THEN JUST F^CK HIS BRAINS OUT... WHILE HES TIED UP. HE WONT BE ABLE TOUCH U WHICH IS GOOD BECUZ LOL ITS NOT ONLY TEASEING HIM... ITS HIM WANTIN U BADLY....MAKE SURE U HAVE A GOOD PASE GO SLOW FOR A LIL WHILE AND TALK DIRTY I MEAN TALK SH*T ALOTA SH*T MEN HAVE A GOOD IMAJINATION . THEN ASK U LIKE THAT?...AND THEN IF HE SAYS YES.. OK...THEN START BEATIN IT HARD BUT NOT TO HARD LOL OK I HOPE UR GOOD @RIDEING ....ITS GUNNA BE ALONG NIGHT LMAO

[Batya33]

I don't think the OP was just asking about how to make the sex good since she seems concerned about how they will interact out of bed. Which suggests to me that she might be hopeful that the weekend will be more than just sex.

 

And STD testing to be accurate, requires testing at least 4-6 months after his last encounter - for HIV - which I doubt will be the case here. I assumed the OP is willing to take the STD risk because of how awesome the sex is.

[novaseeker]

My point in saying what I was saying is to simply that people seem to have this lofty notion that even though they are having animalistic sex with a stranger, somehow that is on a higher plain than porn movie sex or prostitution...it is not..it comes out to the same thing...to pretend otherwise is just being hypocritical.

 

This I agree with 100%.

 

There's a lot of doubletalk about how liberating free sex is, on the one hand, while turning a blind eye to post after post after post about the aftereffects, the confusing never-never land when feelings begin to form on one side (often her side) but not on the other, etc.

[some strange girl]

thank you all for your thoughts!

 

just to get some things straight about some of your assumptions: I want to make it clear that this is not a situation where him or me are getting deeply emotionally attached, so don't worry about me being a mess afterwards and regretting everything. I know that many people have higher moral standards than me and would/could never have this kind of relationship, and I do appreciate that. I would however ask you not to judge me all too harshly because in this arrangement no one is getting hurt or playing games - at least we both know what this is about; and we're ok with it. I must say I am appalled that I am looking for advice and then all of this is degraded and compared to porn movies etc. We come here on this board with very personal issues and I would expect of people to treat others with respect, even though it might not be in accordance with your personal views.

 

we had great sex, and we had a lot of fun spending the evenings together with our friends sitting and talking, so we do connect on another level as well. I merely wanted to make the two months that are left when we have the chance to see each other a good time; on all levels. so why not include bedroom time in my planning?

[hers]

I don't think it's right for you to try to predict the future though--whether she comes back upset or not is not your concern at this point. She is looking for advice at the present moment, not for the future, and for you to assume that she will get burned is not fair to the OP. You don't know her and how she will react. For all we know she's the strongest person emotionally on this board. We don't know anyone on this board, so you should stick to the question being asked and advice being asked for rather than offering advice for a situation that may or may not happen. The future of wha will happen or not or how she will react or not is none of your business. What is your business is the direct question being asked b/c that's the one she chose to present.

[JadedStar]

I was being facetious when talking about the porn movies...because really, this whole sexual liaison does indeed have the same kind of "feel" as a porn movie...so since this is really about unbridled, animalistic sex rather than anything emotional and deep, the porn movie examples are quite fitting.

 

Right. I agree.

 

Are you going to break up with your b/f by any chance?

[Batya33]

Nothing to do with moral standards at least on my point - I do not desire casual sex. Period. And if it has to do with morals it's not about "higher" morals - it's about different morals.

 

If you ask for how to make things exciting in the bedroom for someone you barely know, to me that has a lot in common with a porn movie that focuses on sex with strangers - it's a good analogy. Since you are comfortable with casual sex, why would that analogy seem degrading to you? It's exactly the same - meeting up with someone just for sex, where you want to do your best to make the sex exciting since that is the focus of the meeting.

 

On the other hand, if you are concerned that you won't connect with him out of the bedroom, that's fine, but that gives the impression that you expect more from the interaction than just great sex and pillow talk after.

[some strange girl]

to get this straight: I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND, the title should merely indicate that the night does not involve a stable relationship or a long-term partner.

sorry if this was confusing.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I don't think it's right for you to try to predict the future though--whether she comes back upset or not is not your concern at this point. She is looking for advice at the present moment, not for the future, and for you to assume that she will get burned is not fair to the OP. You don't know her and how she will react. For all we know she's the strongest person emotionally on this board. We don't know anyone on this board, so you should stick to the question being asked and advice being asked for rather than offering advice for a situation that may or may not happen. The future of wha will happen or not or how she will react or not is none of your business. What is your business is the direct question being asked b/c that's the one she chose to present.

 

 

I guess we will agree to disagree. I feel that part of helping someone is to show them all the angles, not just the question at hand. If someone were to ask me if the stove was on and I said no so they put their hand on the element because I neglected to tell them that the stove was on 2 minutes ago then I would certainly be remiss in my duties as a responsible human being. Sometimes it is not sufficient to simply answer only the question that was asked...especially if you can get them thinking about possible outcomes of actions.

[hers]

I must say I am appalled that I am looking for advice and then all of this is degraded and compared to porn movies etc. We come here on this board with very personal issues and I would expect of people to treat others with respect, even though it might not be in accordance with your personal views.

 

 

Well said. When posters get advice degrading them, they may not want to come back, and then the valuable advice they may be able to get is gone b/c others have pushed their personal views on someone they don't know.

[JadedStar]

to get this straight: I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND, the title should merely indicate that the night does not involve a stable relationship or a long-term partner.

sorry if this was confusing.

 

Ok. Yes, your title was very confusing. I thought you meant you have a b/f but wanted tips on an illicit night of sex with a stranger.