JadedStar Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Okay, let's say for a minute it means he's still in love with you. Then what? It doesn't matter, because you won't be getting together with him anyway. And let's say it means he never loved you. That's more or less irrelevant, too, because it's in the past. All you ever need to worry about is right now, at least in terms of this situation. What's done is done, and what will happen is unknown. She is right Barbie. Personally I don't think what he felt was love because i cannot imagine a man who loved a woman would talk so trashy right to her face, but even imaginging for a moment the unlikely that he loved you, good grief girl do you want to even consider a guy who shows it like THIS? Do you know how many young men out there know how to treat a woman gobs better than this? God i wouldn't let this man even walk my dog. He is really vile. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Definitely don't answer! If you attempt any type of communication, he's going to keep doing this. It's like dealing with a bully. You ignore him and he eventually feels stupid and goes away. If you give him attention, he's getting what he wants out of you and will keep at it. Link to comment
melrich Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 God i wouldn't let this man even walk my dog. Me either. There is a point where I can understand you can find some redeeming features in someone. This guy went past that a long time ago. Seriously, who cares what he thinks or what he is doing. Link to comment
greensleeves Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Don't answer...you know that only garbage comes out of his mouth anyway, so there'd be no point. He is your past and doesn't deserve any space in your present or future. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Dude is totally wanting a booty call, and such a freakin' narcissist he thinks this kind of logic will work as well for you as it does for him! He's got such an ego he doesn't want to say he is trying to get back with you (i.e,. be the one to cave and ask to see you again). But at the same time, he is promising NOTHING. The fact that he doesn't get that there is NOTHING in this proposal for you shows how narcissistic he is! Do some research on narcissists... i think you'll recognize him! the thing about narcissists is that they have no empathy for anyone else, in fact don't really think about anyone else's needs but their own. And they want constant admiration etc. So i think he really HAS revealed his true colors and is a narcissist. And honey, living with a narcissist is hopeless! he'll never think of anything but his own needs, and chase them down. I dated a guy like this and when he dropped the act and i saw how it REALLY was i was totally smacked up the side of the head... as stunned as you. He knew his 'real' feelings weren't acceptable to women and disguised it a lot. But in the end he admitted he never really loved anybody that much. In fact, he didn't even LIKE women that much, just really liked the sex, and he had no intention of really changing his behavior or giving up anything for a relationship. So i think he is telling you the truth now... and i don't think there is a 'nice' guy lurking under there... he's really selfish, and wants to skim the cream off the top and leave everything he doesn't want. So he wants the sex from you, but nothing else! That's what's important to him, sex and having other people admiring him... those things he told you on the phone. Most people really value closeness, sharing, etc. but some people who are narcissists or sociopaths just don't. A narcissist is only in love with himself, so he's got most of what he needs in himself... He's outright saying that! Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted March 31, 2008 Author Share Posted March 31, 2008 i don't get how he can want to have sex with me ... when "supposedly" he can have sex with so many others ... what a sick lier. he isn't getting any action. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted March 31, 2008 Author Share Posted March 31, 2008 I work, I am a student and I model. So, really he has some nerve to tell me that I have no goals in life but to be with him. Another thing is he told me that girl is his "best friend" ya, well get this I WAS HIS BEST FRIEND before we got together too. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 To answer your question directly, when he calls you again, tell him you are not interested in being his sex toy OR a free hooker. You want someone who loves you and wants a relationship, and he is offering neither. Tell him you want more, and he ain't it! Then hang up, and don't talk to him again nor take his calls. Link to comment
Mrs.Murder Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 I think hes venting because he saw you having fun and he got jealous... he was used to having all the power and then he sees that you aren't giving him that power anymore and that makes him mad. So he is trying to cut you back down in an attempt to get the power back. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted March 31, 2008 Author Share Posted March 31, 2008 I think hes venting because he saw you having fun and he got jealous... he was used to having all the power and then he sees that you aren't giving him that power anymore and that makes him mad. So he is trying to cut you back down in an attempt to get the power back. that's what i think too. it made him mad that he saw me out and having a ton of fun. so when he saw that, a couple hours later he thought he'd rain on my parade. he's mad that i am out .. and not chasing him. he doesn't want me to be okay without him. and he sees that i am ... and he doesn't like it. so he's acting out . Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 he is obviously acting out, but don't miss the point that what he says he clearly wants is SEX. For all you know, he is dating that other girl and he now wants you to be his sex on the side like she was before. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 That stuff about only having sex with you is horsepucky. So now he's claiming he'll be SEXUALLY faithful, but unfaithful in every other way, emotionally etc.? He's lying again, trying to find something you'll believe and go for. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted March 31, 2008 Author Share Posted March 31, 2008 ya. what nerve to say that so UP FRONT. i won't promise that i'll be with you, but i'll promise i wont hook up with any girls if we hook up. RIGHT guy, like im going to fall for that. im not an object. i respect myself more then that. Link to comment
Mrs.Murder Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Yeah so after he saw you were out having fun and enjoying life, he thought he would one up you by saying all the things HE has going for HIM (friends, girls who like him, ect), just to rub it in your face and make you start getting jealous (and I think it worked lol). He is just playing the game, getting you right where he wants you. It could be an exhageration, and it probably is. Like you said, if he was really that happy he wouldnt be up at 4am thinking about you and calling you. And he wouldn't feel the need to bash you because ppl who are happy don't do that to others. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 good for you barbie. his thinking and logic is really sloppy too... looking at what he said, none of it really made sense. he was just kludging together different truths and lies to end up with what he really wanted, a booty call! so the truth of what he was saying was blah blah blah I WANT SEX blah blah blah. all the blah blah blah was just filler and lies. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Yep, that's exactly what he is doing. His ego has taken a big hit because you are not chasing after him, so he calls you and hurls all these insults at you (he probably had a few drinks in him). It is natural to feel hurt, but just consider what a pathetic person he is that he has to stoop to that level. I doubt very much that this was a booty call..usually men turn on the charm when they are looking for a booty call. He was being deliberately mean and insulting...he wanted to hurt you, he wanted to shatter your self-esteem by implying that you are only good for sex. This is a man who is hurting big time and lashing out. It has nothing to do with wanting sex...it has to do with wanting to ease his pain by inflicting pain on the person he views as the source of his pain. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 I think it was a booty call because I don't think this guy has any concept of how to woo a woman. You have to think like he probably thinks for a moment - in HIS world saying "you were the best lay i ever had" was a huge compliment. He probably thought she'd eat that up. He has no clue as to how to really woo someone. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 I think it was a booty call because I don't think this guy has any concept of how to woo a woman. You have to think like he probably thinks for a moment - in HIS world saying "you were the best lay i ever had" was a huge compliment. He probably thought she'd eat that up. He has no clue as to how to really woo someone. Ahh, do I have to??? I am not so sure my brain can twist itself into that thought process! LOL Interesting choice of words "eat that up"...my mind is in the gutter...but not as far down as this guy! Link to comment
JadedStar Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 LOL CAD. Yeah, even tho i could never think like him i have been around so many young people that it scares me how some of them really DO think. I really think that he thought he was being a Don Juan in his own twisted world. To those of you under 30 Don Juan was just some suave character in the day who woo'd the ladies. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted April 1, 2008 Author Share Posted April 1, 2008 remember all those filthy names that he called me at that party and in that email? well, its like if i am those things ... then why does he want to have sex with me. THERE. exactly. he knows that I AM NOT ANY OF THOSE THINGS. he just has to say those things to feel better about himself. Link to comment
richmonder80 Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 he is a moron and you are sooooooooooo much better with out this bafoon! You did good. Keep it up. You now know his true colors and how egotistical, selfish and childish he is. He just doesnt deserve you. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 remember all those filthy names that he called me at that party and in that email? well, its like if i am those things ... then why does he want to have sex with me. THERE. exactly. he knows that I AM NOT ANY OF THOSE THINGS. he just has to say those things to feel better about himself. I wish i could agree with you. You guys have to think opposite of anytihng you believe is realistic. A schmuck of a guy like this does not have to respect someone to sleep with them. I think you are STILL looking for plus signs in his favor and it aint happening. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted April 1, 2008 Author Share Posted April 1, 2008 no im saying he knows that im NOT any of those things... he has hit me hard again. he keeps doing this. it's so hard to stay strong. i dont get how someone could be so cold. so hearltess and mean. Link to comment
Aleadragonhawk Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 I think he was trying to make himself feel better, Barbie. If he put you down he'd be bigger - if you agreed to sex he'd know that he was the most important thing to you, and that your confidence and having fun didn't mean anything. Link to comment
insofar Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Barbie, you need to say this when he calls again: "I will be nobody's sex toy, least of all yours. If you call again, you are stalking me and I will call the police." Then hang up. And follow through if he does call again. You deserve better. Stop thinking about whether or not he had some ulterior motive for calling, he didn't. Unfortunately, there are people like him in the world. There are also people on the other end of the spectrum, people who will love you for who you are and would never dream of being as much of an ***hole as this guy. You might not be seeing it now but those people are out there. Go live your life. Karma has a way of coming around when you least expect it. Link to comment
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