TAB1234 Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 I have the problem where my heart is telling me to contact my ex and my head is telling me not to do it. It's been 6 months and the last time she 'spoke' to me she was ranting and raving and asked me not to contact her again. I never begged/pleaded or anything. However i did apologise for any pain i caused (which prob made it worse 'cos deep down i think she was prob more to blame in the argument which was so petty). On xmas day i sent her a msg saying hope your well via facebook and she proceeded to block me!! After all this why do i feel like this (ie heart still aches and i want to hear from her whilst head is saying don't do it. Driving me insane Link to comment
CatsMeeoow Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 Clearly - don't do... I mean you tried at Christmas and she blocked you. You don't want that pain all over again do you? 6mo is a long time and if she isn't even willing to talk at this point I would say the odds are pretty low that things will improve much more than that. You are stuck on her so much most likely becuase you just can't have her. I know it doesn't lessen your pain but listen to your head ---- it seems to know best here. Cats Link to comment
finalcloud13 Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 In cases of head vs. heart, listen to your head. That's my experience. Link to comment
TAB1234 Posted February 11, 2008 Author Share Posted February 11, 2008 If i was giving advice i'd say the same thing but all logic goes out the window when feelings are involved Problem i have is that i feel that i never expressed to her that i cared for/loved her. Even on facebook i just said 'Hope you're well' and thats it. She had issues in the sense that she thought i was just playing games with her and was never serious. I feel as if i didnt try and reassure her by expressing that i cared for her. I'd like her to know that she has a special place in my heart and i'll be thinking of her always (been thinking every day for 6 months and that i hope she's found happiness and leave it at that or something along those lines. i just dont feel as if i had closure because we just had one argument which blew out of all proportion and then it was followed by periods of stubborness on both sides and that was that. Link to comment
CatsMeeoow Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 Okay - so you don't spend the next 10 years wondering what if... Then go ahead and get it all out! Tell her exactly what you think she needs to know. Be prepared that she probably doesn't want to hear it. But then at least you will have had your say and you won't keep wondering. Cats Link to comment
TAB1234 Posted February 11, 2008 Author Share Posted February 11, 2008 Okay - so you don't spend the next 10 years wondering what if... Then go ahead and get it all out! Tell her exactly what you think she needs to know. Be prepared that she probably doesn't want to hear it. But then at least you will have had your say and you won't keep wondering. Cats It's difficult knowing what to write. I don't think i'll express undying love for her at this stage. I just feel like saying something along the lines 'Miss you more than you'll ever know" and leave it at that. The card says 'Thinking of you always' -is that meaningless and not enough? Link to comment
CatsMeeoow Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 I think that you if feel that she didn't know you really cared and loved her... then you should write - though I may never have shown it to you I do deeply care and love you. I mean I would send thinking of you always to my best girlfriend not someone I love. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 I think you need to first ask yourself what your motivation is for doing this? To just say I miss you, I hope you are well is typical of what most dumpers or dumpees say...it doesn't mean anything tangible as far as the relationship is concerned. Most people get these messages and say..Yeah, so what...what does he/she mean by that...do they want to get back together or not. If you feel you played a part in why this relationship went south, that you didn't show your feelings enough, maybe you should be saying that specifically instead of ambiguous statements like I miss you or hope you are well. Link to comment
TAB1234 Posted February 11, 2008 Author Share Posted February 11, 2008 I'm also thinking about ringing her up and telling her to come outside (she doesnt live too far away from me and look her in the eye and say the above (and not hide behind a card) but am unsure whether she's in a r'ship or not and also am scared whether face to face it would be too much for her. Link to comment
KAT MOMMY Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 Word to the wise. The heart is treacherous and the mind is the most logical. Go with your mind-same thing as your gut. Your heart is weak and that is the moxst dangerous zone so go with your better judgement. Link to comment
TAB1234 Posted February 11, 2008 Author Share Posted February 11, 2008 Word to the wise. The heart is treacherous and the mind is the most logical. Go with your mind-same thing as your gut. Your heart is weak and that is the moxst dangerous zone so go with your better judgement. Gut and head have stopped me from saying anything for months but it;s been 6 MONTHS now and i STILL feel like saying something so maybe i have to and deal with the consequences Link to comment
Josh07 Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 I have been broken up with my ex for 6 months. I feel your pain and I have often wondered if I should follow my heart or my mind. I'm always second guessing myself. We dated for almost 3 years and now I can't give her anything for V-Day and I know she'll be upset when it comes and I'm not there to give her the gifts and etc and hug her. To make things worse, her birthday is Feb 23. I am tired of hurting and thinking of her everyday. February 23rd is the last day I will let that happen. I am going to get a birthday card and write a short bit of how I am blessed and thankful for having her in my life for the short time I did. I am not the same person I was a year ago and I owe it to her and to myself. It has helped me find out who I am and who I want to be and grow into in the future. I want to wish her the best and that she succeeds in everything that she pursues in her life and that she's happy most of all. Tell her happy 19th birthday. That's all I can do. I'm just too tired of this, I can't take it anymore and I must allow myself to move on and I will not allow myself to do worry anymore after her birthday. I think others are somewhat right in that you need to use your head, rather than your heart. In the end, it's up to you, whatever you choose you have to live with. I wish you best and that everything works out for you and your situation. GOOD LUCK! Link to comment
TAB1234 Posted February 11, 2008 Author Share Posted February 11, 2008 Thank you so much for your moving post Josh. I'm also tired of thinking EVERY day. Thinking with my head/gut has stopped me from contacting her but hasn't helped me getting the closure i need. I will try something over the next week or so and then as it will also be 6 months will hope that any contact i do have will give me final closure once and for all and i can draw a line under it and move on. I also wish you the best and have read from your earlier posts that you're a God-fearing man so keep the faith and i hope everything works out the best for you as well mate. God bless Link to comment
AngryHeart Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 I'm also thinking about ringing her up and telling her to come outside (she doesnt live too far away from me and look her in the eye and say the above (and not hide behind a card) but am unsure whether she's in a r'ship or not and also am scared whether face to face it would be too much for her. Awww, I wish my ex would do this to me! Like I said, take time to think about this And I'm going through the same thing. But I wonder...will it ever seem like enough whatever we do?! Maybe there will always be an "if only I had..." Link to comment
TAB1234 Posted February 11, 2008 Author Share Posted February 11, 2008 Awww, I wish my ex would do this to me! Like I said, take time to think about this And I'm going through the same thing. But I wonder...will it ever seem like enough whatever we do?! Maybe there will always be an "if only I had..." Thats with a lot of things in life however everything happens for a reason. Me and the ex were just abt to get engaged and then we had an argument out of the blue over nothing and before we knew it we were finished just like that. She prob moved on months ago 'cos anger is an easier emotion to deal with than hurt and its prob my fault that i haven't dealt with it better. However i cant change the past only the future and in my heart i knw that if she loved me she wouldn't have been angry for so long or it might show that i had a lucky escape. When she "blasted" me i should've drawn a line under it then but for some reason (prob weakness) i haven't moved on as i should've and then have got caught up in a vicious cycle of thinking and am in this mess. so tis my fault really Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.