Mythical_Suicide Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 most of you you of mis understood what I said. I would like to pay for the child during the month. Not from paycheck to paycheck like it's a chore. But see you must not understand how it works.. You can't just pay for this child "monthly" this child will need stuff daily/WEEKLY. What do you expect to do? give the mother $100 a month and call it fair? yeah right. Like it's a chore ? Grow up! you willl be supporting YOUR child, it's not a chore it's a way of life. Take care of your responsibilities... and I will step away from this post now before I say some not so nice things.. Just be a man and take care of this child no matter how much you hate it if it's yours. Link to comment
wiser Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 I think he meant that he wants to pay for the childs needs "througout" the month and not be forced to pay it in a lump sum out of his paycheck. Link to comment
Atticus90 Posted January 2, 2008 Author Share Posted January 2, 2008 I said it was a chore for the way of paying for the baby. I never said supporting the child was a chore. Here's how I see child support going. Lets say the child is mine. I'll take care of him/her.. Pay for food daily and all these other things and at the end of the week, they still bite 300$ out of my check. Understand? Or no? Link to comment
Atticus90 Posted January 2, 2008 Author Share Posted January 2, 2008 I think he meant that he wants to pay for the childs needs "througout" the month and not be forced to pay it in a lump sum out of his paycheck. CORRECT!!! finally someone got it right. :shocked!: Link to comment
wiser Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 I would think that as long as you are providing for your child's needs then noone will take you to court and force you to pay it persuant to a court order. But you never know. Link to comment
Atticus90 Posted January 2, 2008 Author Share Posted January 2, 2008 I would think that as long as you are providing for your child's needs then noone will take you to court and force you to pay it persuant to a court order. But you never know. Now that brings me to another question. Her parents and I never got along. do they have the authority to press a court order against me? Or does this have to be done by my girlfriend. Link to comment
Dako Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 Atticus, you seem to think you'll have a choice. Unless you and the mother live together as a couple, you're probably going to be ordered by the court to make payments with each check. In my state, failure to pay means your boss will pay it before you get paid the remainder. Link to comment
Atticus90 Posted January 2, 2008 Author Share Posted January 2, 2008 Atticus, you seem to think you'll have a choice. Unless you and the mother live together as a couple, you're probably going to be ordered by the court to make payments with each check. In my state, failure to pay means your boss will pay it before you get paid the remainder. Yes I do have a choice. When my parents separated, a court order wasn't placed for child support. Link to comment
greensleeves Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 I agree that you need to get a paternity test. You are young and this is a lifelong obligation. Not only that,but if you aren't the father, then the real father has the right to be informed that he has a child on the way. This is the fair thing to do for all involved, most importantly for the child. If it is your child, you will be able to move forward with no doubts in your mind. As far as the child support laws...if it's yours, do the right thing and provide the support that you should. Link to comment
Dako Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 Yes I do have a choice. When my parents separated, a court order wasn't placed for child support. If you're working and the mother's raising the child, that choice is hers. Link to comment
greensleeves Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 There seems to be a lot of conflicting views on the legalities of this. I think the best thing Atticus can do is make a couple of calls to the government agencies in HIS state and get the correct information as the laws may vary from state to state as they do from province to province here in Canada. Atticus, it sounds to me like you want to do the right thing, just PLEASE get a paternity test and don't be swayed by the emotions right now. Again, it is in the best interest of the child to know who his/her biolgical father is. This doesn't mean you can't provide emotional support to your girlfriend and some initial financial support if you're able to. But if you have any doubts in your mind and feel there is a possibility that you're not the father then in the best interests of everyone, there is no reason not to get a paternity test. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, this is YOUR life, not her parents and you have to think of your future and the child's future. Link to comment
Atticus90 Posted January 2, 2008 Author Share Posted January 2, 2008 I want to do the right thing. I don't want to be stuck forking out 100's of dollars a month when it can be done at the time the baby needs his or her stuff ( baby food, clothes, etc: ) And greensleeves, thanks for the advice! Link to comment
greensleeves Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 You're welcome Atticus. Please keep us posted, I hope it all works out for you. If you are the baby's father, I think you'll be a good one. Link to comment
doyathink Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 Atticus, first things first. Get a paternity test done..asap. Are you still a student? If so, you need to contact a lawyer to see if you even have to pay while you're still under 18. I'm not sure, but you're still considered a child in the eyes of the courts. I can't see a judge making a child pay child support...especially if you are still a student. Link to comment
Atticus90 Posted January 2, 2008 Author Share Posted January 2, 2008 Ok, since most of the people took my message the wrong way, i'm gonna reword it. First, my girlfriend and I are having a good relationship. Perfect infact! Although, my dad was rather worried that her parents would try to enforce child support on me whenever the baby is born. ( FYI: her parents are sneaky ) Can child support be enforced through her parents or would it have to be a decision made by my gf ( teen mother ). I'm not trying to run from this issue, I just seen to many people get ruined over this. I rather pay money to help my child throughout the month, rather than a lump sum out of my check each week. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 No, her parents cannot do it. Although it would be wise for her to do it. If she was smart she would go through the courts for child support. The relationship is good now but things change, and y'all haven't had the best past together so I don't see things staying perfect long after the baby is born. Unfortunately (well not really) for you but you will really have no choice about forking $100's of dollars out for the child a month, They are not cheap! My son's father pays alittle over $400 a month for support and in the end I usually end up spending that plus my part on my son for all that he needs. You're not really going to get out cheap, if that is what you're thinking. And infact it may be cheaper for you to go through the courts because they do base it off the mother and fathers income. Link to comment
Atticus90 Posted January 2, 2008 Author Share Posted January 2, 2008 I don't have a problem with paying any ammount of money, but I just don't want lump sums of money taken out of checks. It's not the way I want these things done. It's my money and it should be spent the way I want to. All of it will be towards the baby, considering i'm not makeing that much to begin with. Link to comment
beauty21 Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 If she was underage her parents would be able to do it. My lil sister got pregnant at 15, and my mother filed the child support papers and statutory rape charges because her baby father was 19 and not willing to help her out. Link to comment
Atticus90 Posted January 2, 2008 Author Share Posted January 2, 2008 I just called Social Services and they say that it cannot be done. Laws must be different from state to state Link to comment
Spugly Fuglet Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 Ricky lake dos TV shows about this all the time, DO NOT GO ON A TV SHOW ABOUT THIS Sorry just had to say that Could be her parents wont you to have a test, they may know some thing you do not, I say may its just another way of seeing it Link to comment
catwalk Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 I know you already got your answers but still..... I am glad you are paying support, but on your terms & with her involved.... this whole thing must be difficult on both of you, especially if you are really only 17!!! I'm in Canada so I know it's probably different, but the parents shouldn't be able to do anything to you... UNLESS... they somehow get guardianship of the baby, then they might be able to go after you. As a side note, I would never force a guy to pay child support if he didn't want to, or never saw the child. I believe in paying if you are an active part of the childs life.... NOT in paying for 1 cell of DNA. Link to comment
greensleeves Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 Hi Atticus, Since I'm from Canada, so I'm not sure of which gov't agencies you have, but again, I'm sure if you call your local Social Services office they will be able to steer you in the right direction to get all of your legal questions answered at no cost. Make a list of all your questions before you call them so that you don't forget anything. It's a complicated situation and you are getting a lot of different opinions here. You need to set your mind at ease as to what the future is going to hold for you, your girlfriend and the baby. There may also be free programs out there for teen parents, etc. I do think that everyone here is concerned that you get a paternity test for good reason...you need to be sure that it's yours before you make that commitment to support a child for the next 18 or 20 years. Your parents are right to be concerned about the financial aspect. Also, I know I may seem like I'm harping on this, but it is in the best interests of the child to know who the biological father is. In addition to the moral issue, there could also be medical history that should be known. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted January 2, 2008 Share Posted January 2, 2008 in most states, the mother has to file a request for child support, then the court will order a certain amount paid, on a set day of the month (i.e., $300/month due the 1st of each month). the money will only be garnished from your check IF you have a history of not paying it, or not paying it on time. As long as you make payments, or work it out with the mother as to when/how much you will pay, your check will not be garnished. usually too, they order an amount paid based on whatever you earn. also though, if she applies for welfare in most states, they will first try to identify the father, and if she names you as father (and paternity test proves the case), then the state itself can participate in collecting what you owe first before determining if/how much she can get from welfare. so it is dependent on state laws (which you can research online for your state). but do get a paternity test, and try to work it out with the mother. if you come to an agreement with her, and get it in writing, the court will enforce that, or their own standard amounts if you and the mother don't come to an agreement. Link to comment
Atticus90 Posted January 3, 2008 Author Share Posted January 3, 2008 My gf and I decided to sign the rights off to my mom when the baby is born. Just to protect us. And she always wanted another kid but she cant cause she'll die if she does. We both will be living over there takeing care of the kid to is this a good idea? and how soon can this be done? Link to comment
Atticus90 Posted January 3, 2008 Author Share Posted January 3, 2008 the OB checked my family and her families medical history a couple weeks back. and we'll definitly get a paternity test. no doubt about it! Link to comment
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