Child Support

[Mythical_Suicide]

idk if i wana give her parental rights.

ill just find a better job

my kid will probably resent me if i do this

i hope ill be doing the right thing.

 

 

If you step up and become a responsible father, you can do it! It will definitely be hard, no doubt about it! but there are so many things that are out there to help you get by (WIC, Medicaid, HUD, etc) that it isn't impossible to survive. You will have to sacrifice and give up things you consider a luxury now but in the end you can do it.

 

Only you know if you're doing the right thing. Don't make a decision now, look at all your options and then decide when the time is right. Make sure it's something that both you and your gf are happy with, dont' worry about what your mother says or what her parents say because in the end it will be your life not theirs. They cannot take the child from either of you as long as the child is fed and clothed and not abused.

 

 

When will you be 18?

[Atticus90]

Someone on here told me that in most states, if you apply for WIC, mediaid, then they'll make ME pay off the expenses. Like hospital bills, and everything. That'll be impossible. is that true?

 

i'll be 18 may 27.

 

my gf will be 17 really soon

[rocio]

why do you want to sign the rights away to your mom? You and your gf are the parents. You are both good, caring people. There's no reason for you to sign the rights over to your mom. It's best for any baby to be raised in a community - for parents, grandparents, friends and relatives to have input into it's upbringing, so babysit, to socialise the child. There's absolutely no reason to sign your parental rights away. I think that's a huge mistake. I know you're feeling uneasy about raising a kid and you think it's going to cost more than you can afford. But it's not. People have kids all the time. It's affordable. You can do it.

[Mythical_Suicide]

Someone on here told me that in most states, if you apply for WIC, mediaid, then they'll make ME pay off the expenses. Like hospital bills, and everything. That'll be impossible. is that true?

 

i'll be 18 may 27.

 

my gf will be 17 really soon

 

No! that is not true! I live in NC and all of my medical bills were covered during my pregnancy (and 6 weeks post-partum) by Medicaid and my sons father didn't have to reimburse any.

 

If that was true, It would kinda defeat the whole purpose of medicaid. They will however try and push your gf to file for Child support once the child is born and paternity is established and she goes in to sign the child up for medicaid since you two are not married all you both have to do (you need to go in with her) is sign a waiver saying you claim responsibility for the child and will pay whatever expenses needed voluntarily and they can't do anything otherwise nor can either set of parents.

[Atticus90]

So since i'll be able to pay voluntarily? if i go and claim responsibility and do all that other stuff? Would they force child suppport or just suggest it?

 

 

We have medic aid already btw.

[Atticus90]

why do you want to sign the rights away to your mom? You and your gf are the parents. You are both good, caring people. There's no reason for you to sign the rights over to your mom. It's best for any baby to be raised in a community - for parents, grandparents, friends and relatives to have input into it's upbringing, so babysit, to socialise the child. There's absolutely no reason to sign your parental rights away. I think that's a huge mistake. I know you're feeling uneasy about raising a kid and you think it's going to cost more than you can afford. But it's not. People have kids all the time. It's affordable. You can do it.

 

Well, I think i might change my mind about all that. I just want to be able to help raise the child without the law watching my every move.

 

They do look down on 17 year old guys who get 16 year old girls pregnant ya know.. Soo yeah..

[rocio]

do you plan on breaking laws?

[Mythical_Suicide]

So since i'll be able to pay voluntarily? if i go and claim responsibility and do all that other stuff? Would they force child suppport or just suggest it?

 

 

We have medic aid already btw.

 

 

 

Yes, if you agree to voluntarily pay and your gf agrees with this then they cannot force anything. She has to go for child support for anything to be done.

 

She has medicaid now, yes, but once the baby is born she will have to take the baby in soon as yall get out of the hospital and sign the baby up. The child will automatically qualify for medicaid but all the paper work and stuff needs to be done.

[Atticus90]

Of course not lol.

They always think guys are the result of a girl getting pregnant, but they don't relize it takes two.

[Mythical_Suicide]

 

They do look down on 17 year old guys who get 16 year old girls pregnant ya know.. Soo yeah..

 

I know it may not make you feel much better but my sons father was 24 when he got me pregnant at 16 and nothing happened to him that I didn't consent to so you really have no worries.

[Mythical_Suicide]

Of course not lol.

They always think guys are the result of a girl getting pregnant, but they don't relize it takes two.

 

 

Actually you will be quite surprised at the stigma towards young mothers, many people think they look horribly down on the guys only that is not true. I was ridiculed horribly by the people who were supposed to be there to help me. I had many rude comments made to me by doctors, nurses, and people dealing with medicaid my entire pregnancy and even so after my son was born. You just have to ignore the snooty comments and present yourself as a responsible adult and parent.

[Atticus90]

Yes, if you agree to voluntarily pay and your gf agrees with this then they cannot force anything. She has to go for child support for anything to be done.

 

I don't get it. If I can agree to pay volentarily, why would they still make me pay child support?

 

She has medicaid now, yes, but once the baby is born she will have to take the baby in soon as yall get out of the hospital and sign the baby up. The child will automatically qualify for medicaid but all the paper work and stuff needs to be done.

 

Sounds gooood.

[rocio]

Of course not lol.

They always think guys are the result of a girl getting pregnant, but they don't relize it takes two.

 

Who is "they"? If you aren't going to break any laws, then it doesn't make sense that you would sign your parental rights away for fear of getting busted for something. Do you mean that you're nervous that you won't be able to make the child support payments, and go to jail for that? They can't make you pay more than you can afford. You child support payments will depend on how much you make. They will be fair and affordable.

[Mythical_Suicide]

 

I don't get it. If I can agree to pay volentarily, why would they still make me pay child support?

 

 

 

 

What do you mean?

 

 

Paying child support means you are supporting the child, whether it be a monthly sum taken out of your check by the state or what you willingly buy for or give to the child it is considered child support.

[Atticus90]

Actually you will be quite surprised at the stigma towards young mothers, many people think they look horribly down on the guys only that is not true. I was ridiculed horribly by the people who were supposed to be there to help me. I had many rude comments made to me by doctors, nurses, and people dealing with medicaid my entire pregnancy and even so after my son was born. You just have to ignore the snooty comments and present yourself as a responsible adult and parent.

 

That's awful. I didn't think doctors would make those kind of comments.

How old is your son btw? You and the father still together?

[Mythical_Suicide]

Who is "they"? If you aren't going to break any laws, then it doesn't make sense that you would sign your parental rights away for fear of getting busted for something. Do you mean that you're nervous that you won't be able to make the child support payments, and go to jail for that? They can't make you pay more than you can afford. You child support payments will depend on how much you make. They will be fair and affordable.

 

I think he is mainly afraid of the gf's parents trying to take the child or the state taking the child for them being teenagers. Atleast that is mostly what i'm getting.

[Atticus90]

What do you mean?

 

 

Paying child support means you are supporting the child, whether it be a monthly sum taken out of your check by the state or what you willingly buy for or give to the child it is considered child support.

 

I thought child support was when the government bites like 400$ out of your check each week.

[Mythical_Suicide]

That's awful. I didn't think doctors would make those kind of comments.

How old is your son btw? You and the father still together?

 

 

My son will be 3 in March.

and no his father and I aren't together anymore, things aren't ideal situation but really what can you do ya know.

 

Just be the best father you can be and be there to support the mother and child and when I say support I don't just mean financially I mean emotionally more than anything. Money cannot buy love to a child.

[Atticus90]

I think he is mainly afraid of the gf's parents trying to take the child or the state taking the child for them being teenagers. Atleast that is mostly what i'm getting.

 

Exactly.

Especially her parents now that you menchen it. I don't want them having any control over this situation, because they seem to be trying to make her do all these things.

 

Another thing.. After the child is born. Do we do daycare? Is that good for a newborn? to be exposed to a lot of people more time then it's exposed to me and my gf?

[Mythical_Suicide]

I thought child support was when the government bites like 400$ out of your check each week.

 

 

$400 out of your check a week is ridiculous and unless you have a high end paying job that will not happen,. I get $400 a month for my son and his father makes great money.

 

 

But no, child support is just that .. child support, doesn't matter if it's enforced or not.

[rocio]

I think he is mainly afraid of the gf's parents trying to take the child or the state taking the child for them being teenagers. Atleast that is mostly what i'm getting.

 

Atticus, I don't know who's putting these ideas in your head. But nobody's going to take the child away. When you're a parent, you'll do anything to provide for your kid. You'll feed him before you'll feed yourself. You'll make sacrifices. You don't have to be rich to have kids. As long as you love them and fulfill their basic needs and don't abuse them, there's nobody that can take them away from you.

[Atticus90]

My son will be 3 in March.

and no his father and I aren't together anymore, things aren't ideal situation but really what can you do ya know.

 

Just be the best father you can be and be there to support the mother and child and when I say support I don't just mean financially I mean emotionally more than anything. Money cannot buy love to a child.

 

 

3? I guess you're 18 or almost 19?

I'll do the best I can . I just don't anyone interfering.

[Atticus90]

Atticus, I don't know who's putting these ideas in your head. But nobody's going to take the child away. When you're a parent, you'll do anything to provide for your kid. You'll feed him before you'll feed yourself. You'll make sacrifices. You don't have to be rich to have kids. As long as you love them and fulfill their basic needs and don't abuse them, there's nobody that can take them away from you.

 

Yeah, we don't have to worry much about money. Medic aid and WIC do most of it until the child is like 5 I think..

If I have to pay child support, I don't want to be charged more than I can handle. Because 6.30$ an hour for 20 hours a week aint much.

[Mythical_Suicide]

Exactly.

Especially her parents now that you menchen it. I don't want them having any control over this situation, because they seem to be trying to make her do all these things.

 

Another thing.. After the child is born. Do we do daycare? Is that good for a newborn? to be exposed to a lot of people more time then it's exposed to me and my gf?

 

Her parents only have as much control as y'all allow. They can't control what goes on, now depending on the doctors and what not her parent may have to be present for certain procedures to be done. As for the child, if you will be 18 before the child is born or shortly after there will be no problems you will just have to be there at certain appointments for the child there has to be an adult/guardian as long as both of you are under the age of 18.

 

Its crazy but here's an example, my son was really sick and was in Duke for nearly 2 months and when he was discharged, my mother had to sign the discharge papers because I wasn't 18 at that time even though I was the mother.

 

 

As far as after the child is born and daycare, if you have to do it, then you have to! ideal situation is mother stays home with child until the child is of a certain age but in the real world, that isn't always possible. Small home daycares is another great option instead of having the child in a big daycare with so many other children around.

[Atticus90]

$400 out of your check a week is ridiculous and unless you have a high end paying job that will not happen,. I get $400 a month for my son and his father makes great money.

 

 

But no, child support is just that .. child support, doesn't matter if it's enforced or not.

 

I wana do it the way my parents do it.

Since they have Joint custody, child support isn't a deal. My mom pays for my little brother and my dad pays for me. And they both help eachother out alll the time even though they're divorced. They lown eachother money when needed.

 

That's how i'd like it. Volentarily.

 

I see child support as, deadbeat fathers who leave and are forced to pay.