Everyone says I should settle down.

[WTHUWY]

So I don't know if this is the right place but here goes.....

I'm 25, single, live alone, have a super great career and I love to party. I like dating, but I don't like getting serious. I've been 'dating' for a few yrs now but I refuse to settle down. My friends are driving me nuts telling me I really need to pick a guy and stick with him.

 

I've 'dated' some really great catches. But none of them have even made me think about being exclusive, much less want to.

 

My girlfriends really really give me a hard time about my FWB. We've been 'having fun' for a yr or so. Everyone pretty much knows about our 'friendship' but he and I don't hang out, he doesn't come around my friends, we keep it strickly to the bedroom. Why does everyone have such a freakin problem w/it? He and I don't. Neither of us have our feelings tied up in this. If he met someone tomorrow I wouldn't care a bit. He's a really great catch. We live in a smaller area and he's the guy all the women want. But he's like me, he just wants to have fun.

 

My girlfriends keep saying "you're not 21 anymore, its time to start acting like a grown up." WHAT AM I DOING THAT'S SO IMMATURE???

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

nothing your doing is immature. if you dont want to be with someone then dont....its your life, if you want to party your hinepotts off then go for it..........

[Clementine orange]

Who is "everyone" your parents? Or it's probably people who have settled down and wish they hadn't. Take it from me, don't settle down at 25. Or else you will wake up at 35 and wish you hadn't.

[Batya33]

Well, I wouldn't want a man who was comfortable being s_x buddies for a year - wouldn't consider him a great catch at all. And that's the point. To each her own. Maybe tell your friends "thanks for the unsolicited advice but I'm doing just fine. It's not a race.

[WTHUWY]

Well, I wouldn't want a man who was comfortable being s_x buddies for a year - wouldn't consider him a great catch at all. And that's the point. To each her own. Maybe tell your friends "thanks for the unsolicited advice but I'm doing just fine. It's not a race.

 

Well I'm ok with being his sex buddy. I'm not interested in being any more then that with him.

[Batya33]

I understand that but you described him as a good catch

 

"He's a really great catch. We live in a smaller area and he's the guy all the women want."

 

. I just wanted to point out that that's not accurate because I likely would not be comfortable dating someone who was comfortable being someone's s_x buddy for that long. Incompatible values - I wouldn't want him. I have nothing against - see nothing wrong - with two consenting adults - like you and your friend- deciding to be s_x buddies- just wouldn't be for me and thereforeeee he wouldn't be a "great catch."

[WTHUWY]

I understand that but you described him as a good catch and someone everyone would want. I just wanted to point out that that's not accurate because I likely would not be comfortable dating someone who was comfortable being someone's s_x buddy for that long. Incompatible values. I have nothing against - see nothing wrong - with two consenting adults - like you and your friend- deciding to be s_x buddies- just wouldn't be for me and thereforeeee he wouldn't be a "great catch."

 

 

Oh, well I'm sure many other women agree with you, but you know what I mean, he's Mr. Popluar, was the high school quarterback. That kind of guy.

 

But I agree with you, the kind of guy I'd want to settle down with wouldn't be like him either. But then I'm prolly not the kind of girl alot of guys would want to settle down with either I guess.

[JoJo90814]

I think if your not ready to settle down then dont do it. Im 26 and pretty much everyone I know is in a relationship or married, but I still feel too young to get that serious. The thought of being married, already having a career and being 26 sounds suffocating. I think you should just continue to have fun until you either find that someone that makes you want to settle or just feel ready inside to make that change.

[Batya33]

Oh, well I'm sure many other women agree with you, but you know what I mean, he's Mr. Popluar, was the high school quarterback. That kind of guy.

 

But I agree with you, the kind of guy I'd want to settle down with wouldn't be like him either. But then I'm prolly not the kind of girl alot of guys would want to settle down with either I guess.

 

Yes - I know the type, not my type (but was in high school, lol). Look - you are comfortable with your situation and you feel good about it. thereforeeee a man who would not be comfortable with it would not be a good match for you, right?

[JadedStar]

I'm 25, single, live alone, have a super great career and I love to party. I like dating, but I don't like getting serious. I've been 'dating' for a few yrs now but I refuse to settle down. My friends are driving me nuts telling me I really need to pick a guy and stick with him.

 

If this is what you still enjoy doing DON'T try to settle down with some guy - you won't be doing him any favors when you get bored and are wanting to party again.

 

Listen to your gut. I think what your friends mean is that most people grow up and mature and no longer WANT to party that much at 25. That has not happened for you yet so no sense tricking yourself into thinking it has.

[JadedStar]

I'm 25, single, live alone, have a super great career and I love to party. I like dating, but I don't like getting serious. I've been 'dating' for a few yrs now but I refuse to settle down. My friends are driving me nuts telling me I really need to pick a guy and stick with him.

 

If this is what you still enjoy doing DON'T try to settle down with some guy - you won't be doing him any favors when you get bored and are wanting to party again.

 

Listen to your gut. I think what your friends mean is that most people grow up and mature and no longer WANT to party that much at 25. That has not happened for you yet so no sense tricking yourself into thinking it has.

[RayKay]

If you aren't ready...well you aren't ready! You are still pretty young in my personal opinion anyway to worry about it (even if you were older I would say not to worry about it though!).

 

You'll know it when you are ready for something more "serious" and I don't think anyone should get "serious" unless they are at that stage (as they tend to regret it soon enough and then it causes all sorts of emotional fallout!).

 

Just be careful to not purposely hurt others in the process (i.e. be honest with the men you date meaning full disclosure of your goals and intentions).

[EQD]

I am in the same boat. I don't want to settle down, don't need to, not ready to, haven't found the right guy yet.. simple as that. Its not immature thats just my life. and your life. Don't let your friends pressure you into doing what society has dubbed as a healthy and necessary thing. Its not always the case. Right now if you got in a relationship against your wishes it would be truly unhealthy dont you agree?

[Hope75]

Don't let others push you into something you know you aren't ready for. Not everyone fits a cookie cutter mold and just because your friends are interested in settling down younger doesn't mean you should have to.

 

Studies show that those who marry in their 20's are more likely to divorce than those who wait until their 30's to marry. Something about knowing yourself more and being more mature and ready for marriage I guess.

 

Enjoy yourself and play it safe- always use a condom. Nothing kills the fun of a FWB relationship like an STI or unplanned pregnancy.

[WTHUWY]

Don't let others push you into something you know you aren't ready for. Not everyone fits a cookie cutter mold and just because your friends are interested in settling down younger doesn't mean you should have to.

 

Studies show that those who marry in their 20's are more likely to divorce than those who wait until their 30's to marry. Something about knowing yourself more and being more mature and ready for marriage I guess.

 

Enjoy yourself and play it safe- always use a condom. Nothing kills the fun of a FWB relationship like an STI or unplanned pregnancy.

 

I agree with ya I always make him wrap it up.

[ghost69]

i know a girl that is 28 and is still that way. she has a secure bf now, but they both go out all the time. i think he is like 33. guy is a tool though. but, i don't this girl actually settling down anytime soon. her 23 sister is married. lol

[Hope75]

Some people never feel the urge to 'settle down' and be in a serious relationship, marry, have a family, etc., and that's perfectly fine.

 

The OP is young and should enjoy herself and sow her wild oats as long as she is careful and happy with her lifestyle. If later, the urge to settle down hits her, she'll have no regrets.

[WTHUWY]

i know a girl that is 28 and is still that way. she has a secure bf now, but they both go out all the time. i think he is like 33. guy is a tool though. but, i don't this girl actually settling down anytime soon. her 23 sister is married. lol

 

Do people give her a hard time? Or did they before she got into a serious relationship?

[ghost69]

Do people give her a hard time? Or did they before she got into a serious relationship?

 

my friends talk about her. not in a bad way though. we just think it's nuts that she is 28 and still so wild. she is down to earth too though. she has a career and all that. everything going for her. she just likes the atmosphere i guess. i was sucked into it all too when i turned 21. i was going downhill fast. dated frequently, went out a lot during the week, etc. i couldn't imagine being in that anymore. i go out to the same areas i used to sometimes and i realize the people that are out there and i wonder 'man, that is what i was like?' guess you hit a point. i was 24/25 when i realized what i needed to do. QUIT! lol

 

some people it is earlier in life, some it is later. i would never knock ya for it. have ur fun. once it's gone, it is. you don't ever want to regret it. i never do.

[JadedStar]

I know people in their 40s and 50s who never lost their party mentality. Hopefully it won't take you THAT long but if you are not ready you're just not ready, to quote RayKay.

[WTHUWY]

I know people in their 40s and 50s who never lost their party mentality. Hopefully it won't take you THAT long but if you are not ready you're just not ready, to quote RayKay.

 

I know people like that too. I see them when I go out. I joke with my friends to swear to lock me up if I'm still clubbing at that age.

[MrMango]

I call this the 'joey tribbiani syndrome'

[JadedStar]

Well i am 41 and go on OCCASION but the difference with me is i am home and in bed by midnight. LOL

[poloplayer]

he's Mr. Popluar, was the high school quarterback. That kind of guy.

 

LOL. Popular varies; it's all about the circles you are in, especially once you are out of school.

 

Oh, last I heard, my high school QB was puking outside of a dive bar, working at UPS (still after years), and rejected by the Navy after his buddies threw him a going away party but he drank too much for them to let him onto the bus. He packed on lots of fat too.

 

Nothing wrong with dive bars, but this place is his home away from home. Nothing wrong with UPS, but clearly this dude had potential and let it pass him by. I haven't heard too many other successful high school QB stories.

 

Date around if you want to date around. Some people ask me how on Earth I don't have a serious girlfriend, and many people *think* that I am married. I must present myself a certain way...

 

Anyway, I dated around for many years. Just hooking up, having fun, etc. Nothing wrong with it, but for me it got old. So many girls, so little substance, nothing meaningful, but some amazing stories! Action was there, but that deep emotion or connection wasn't; just lots of fun and games. But that was my take on it - it got old for me.

[MrMango]

My high school quarterbacks were turds who couldnt throw the ball. Thats why 98% of our play calls were run.

 

Ofcourse I was a wide receiver. That sucked ass.