Batya33 Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 We need those eject buttons like on wallace and gromit. Thanks for clarifying. Link to comment
theartofruin Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 Wintersolstice, are you really interested in this guy, or do you just want him to want you? By the way, I agree his behaviour is odd, I don't quite understand what he's getting out of his online friendship with you. Link to comment
wintersolstice Posted December 11, 2007 Author Share Posted December 11, 2007 I am puzzled by the mystery. I do like him more now that Ive talked about him so much on here & I want to know why he is doing what he's doing...... Also I think he does want me... he is going to a lot of trouble "playing games" if he didn't want me I think... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 If he wanted you he would want to see you in person. Many people like the safety of flirting on line and never having to make it real. It's good for their egos. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 ^^I agree, especially since you've said he lives close to you. If he lives close to you and has not followed through with making any plans, he's just not that interested. It happens to everyone. Unless he is extremely paralyzingly shy or really socially awkward, if he really wanted to, he would've asked you out by now. And, you're right, he may "want" you in some way -- as in thinking you're attractive, but that may be very different than him wanting to actually date you. As others have said here, he may just be enjoying the attention, and via IM, he can get/give attention without really having to follow through with any real action -- i.e. dating and getting to know someone. Link to comment
wintersolstice Posted December 11, 2007 Author Share Posted December 11, 2007 He did ask me out... in a very awkward way when we talked last feb along the lines of "what types of things do you like to do?? etc etc" that was only after I asked him about this movie he said he wanted to see (it was a weird foreign film) also he did ask me out again and asked for my #.... i'm not in denial here it just seems so odd that a grown man would want a chat buddy... i obviously like him and he could try to hook up with me if he doesnt want to date me... Link to comment
Censored Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 Geeezus i can't believe this thread is still going!!! I swear to god if this guy turned around and said "I want you, I need you, I must have you" You'd run for the hills. Go play monopoloy if you want the thrill of winning whatever it is you want to win Pfffffffffffft. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 I am puzzled by the mystery. I do like him more now that Ive talked about him so much on here & I want to know why he is doing what he's doing...... Also I think he does want me... he is going to a lot of trouble "playing games" if he didn't want me I think... you like him more and more for talking to him cause you can't have him. he is keeping you at bay and it is diving u nuts. let it go. why would you want a guy that does play games? you are reading into this too much. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 LOL I agree niceguyloses. I learned years ago not to fool around with a person who won't come right out and ask you on a proper date. If he wanted to he would have and it would have been a heck of a lot more recent than Feb and asking what stuff do you like to do. It is now December girlfriend. Almost a year has lapsed and you've gotten nothing out of him, and you won't. If you want an IM pal keep chatting. If you want more, just stop altogether and remove him from your buddy list. Shouldn't be that hard since you dont even have to worry about the awkwardness of bumping into him on the street. Link to comment
Portage Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 ^ Don't hold back whatever you do NGL. Link to comment
wintersolstice Posted December 12, 2007 Author Share Posted December 12, 2007 I think this forum is dangerous because people reply without having read the thread & a lot of people here are jaded and unhappy and have a vested interest in making others feel rejected and undesired as well.... to clarify: it has no been a year, i stopped talking to him for a good six months also: he did attempt to ask me out via i-m when we first began talking, but his attempt was very confused and shy.... so it is not altogether ridiculous to assume he is in fact cautious and shy also, him being "not interested" is not the route of my attraction because i do think he is interested in me... so that theory does not apply maybe you can play monopoly for the free parking and the mitigated and shortened jail sentence (maybe you can meet someone who likes you in there???) that would be losing..... to a "nice guy" have you ever read Beloved? Link to comment
theartofruin Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Grow up. People are giving their honest opinions. On every single thread you post you snap at people if they don't tell you what you want to hear. If this guy was interested he would have done something about it already, shyness doesn't come into the equation when you've been talking for so long online. Especially when you consider that he does actually have other female friends/girlfriends - it's not like you are the first girl he has ever encountered. But what the hell - yes, you're right, he is interested and is shy and you are the most gorgeous woman in the whole wide world. Link to comment
Altruist Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 I'm inclined to think that this guy is incredibly shy. You can either keep worrying and wondering what is going on or take the bull by the horns and arrange the date yourself. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 I believe she's asked him out at least once and initiated contact many times. doesn't sound at all to me like he's shy. I responded from my perspective of having met over 100 men in person through on line dating and having declined to meet men and men having declined to meet me - it's just a fact of life and I moved on and didn't overanalyze. I was confident that I was reasonably attractive, reasonably desirable and all that good stuff so in all it was a positive experience. No jadedness or bitterness here but I might have become that way if I overanalyzed male interest the way, in my opinion, the OP does here and has done on her several threads. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Lord...then keep on keeping on with your penpal. It is one thing to disagree wth the advice, another to call the advice dangerous. this one is about as clear cut as they get, but if you want to spend another 11 months waiting for him to ask again what do you like to do then go right ahead. I suspect that you will be the one bitter and jaded if you carry on with this one another year....I have jaded in my username but it's just a username. You might become jaded for real if you keep messing with a person who has no interest in asking you out. The advice you have gotten is with YOUR best interest in mind, not his...but you are correct that you are the one who makes the decisions. We are but mere players... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 so, didn't you get on just fine for that 6 months? why try and spark it up again? i think that fire is out. Link to comment
Censored Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Well, if i ended up in "jail", i'd be sure to roll a "double" and be right out before the sun went down.......... Oh, and yes i have read Beloved. I really think a lot of people would take offense to your initial paragraph in this post. I don't think you are being dishonest about believing this guy maybe interested, however from the outside looking in, i think the posters on your thread have given some good advice for your own self preservation. I suggest that you make a post on your thread that gives yourself the answer. It seems quite apparent that you are unwilling to actually listen to the advice that has been given. Here is a fail safe way to discover the truth. Message him and ask him out. If he is shy, then he will appreciate you making the initial request. Simple. Link to comment
Gratsy Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Hes too evasive. I'd give up by now. He's already acting annoyed...like you're the one bugging him. Thats not a good dynamic. Its supposed to be him showing interest in you and asking you out on a specific date. I'd say that you need to relax a little and wait. See if he offers an actual time. If he doesn't after a week (or two, whatever you prefer) make that a cut off date and don't talk to him even if he begs you to date him. It could be a lot of things but the only thing that is solid for you is whether or not he makes an actual action. I think he might just be talking to you to get an ego boost. He might also be afraid of real relationships and is trying to feel you out before he does any asking. Either way, he's not asking- time to move on. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Also I think he does want me... he is going to a lot of trouble "playing games" if he didn't want me I think... Yeah, you must be right. Or, ...you post a lot of questions about if a guy likes you. Maybe you are just really bad at reading the signs or off putting. Link to comment
wintersolstice Posted December 14, 2007 Author Share Posted December 14, 2007 Well, if i ended up in "jail", i'd be sure to roll a "double" and be right out before the sun went down.......... Oh, and yes i have read Beloved. I really think a lot of people would take offense to your initial paragraph in this post. I don't think you are being dishonest about believing this guy maybe interested, however from the outside looking in, i think the posters on your thread have given some good advice for your own self preservation. I suggest that you make a post on your thread that gives yourself the answer. It seems quite apparent that you are unwilling to actually listen to the advice that has been given. Here is a fail safe way to discover the truth. Message him and ask him out. If he is shy, then he will appreciate you making the initial request. Simple. I think the posters are a bit jealous of me because their replies seem loaded and vindictive and accusatory.... Link to comment
stellastrawberry Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 I think the posters are a bit jealous of me because their replies seem loaded and vindictive and accusatory... You are probably right. All those posters are jealous of you because a guy isn't asking you out. We all wish we could Not be asked out. Its such a self esteem booster. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 I'm not jealous - I feel sorry for the several men who you have obsessed over who clearly were not interested in you (the ones you have posted about). Meaning, your actions in expressing your obsession. I also have some sympathy for you. Link to comment
CaptainPlanet Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 Why does it matter that he is a banker Link to comment
Gratsy Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 I think that previous posters could have been a little more sensitive because when someone is wondering whether someone likes them, it becomes an issue of pride/worth. However, becoming defensive isn't the best either. Don't worry about it...go do something fun and let it go. Like you said, you're attractive...go find someone who will give you the time of day and not act annoyed by you. Link to comment
CaptainPlanet Posted December 14, 2007 Share Posted December 14, 2007 I think its awesome if she slept with her professor and tried to get a grade changes. I'd have given her points for thinking outside the square. Link to comment
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