Why are women on line so rude ?

[Fritz The Cat]

Many others have observed this to, it's not just me. you connect with a woman on line, you exchange 3 or 4 emails and she just abandons the exchange. No explanation, no goodbye, kiss my butt or anything else. Just utter and total silence.

 

My question is, WHY ?????

[Batya33]

In the past I have done this where I was uncomfortable with something that was said and I wanted to avoid the confrontation (because I had experienced harassing e-mails and while those can be blocked it's not fun, to say the least). Since it was a stranger I felt it was ok to do so on balance.

 

Also if you are exchanging e-mails through a dating site, if her membership expires and she doesn't have your e-mail address she has no real way to contact you.

 

Or her husband/significant other found out.

[shikashika]

they aren't obligated to do anything after 3 or 4 emails are they?

 

i dont' know i've never been in the online dating world, but i don'tthink you should be expecting anything after 3 or 4 emails.

 

Personally, I don't know how you can 'connect' with anyone after 3 or 4 emails.

[Entomon]

Well, men online can be so rude too.

 

I had a guy I was chatting up with via emails then one day he just stopped corresponding with me. I figured he was probably busy with family or just not interested. Not a big problem to me. The other day, I thought about him and emailed him to see how he's doing. I received the following message,

 

Stop emailing my boyfriend!

 

LoL

 

So when that happens they found a better interest. And it's just easier to abandon the whole exchange than try to explain it. However, you shouldn't take it to heart. Some people are just very bad at letting down others. And perhaps, it's not even you. Maybe they have issues. Who knows?

[itsallgrand]

Probably because it is easy. It's easy to blow people off online - what are they going to do about it, really?

 

Not saying it isn't rude. But sometimes it does make sense.

 

Appear as a woman on-line and it's amazing what sort of characters come out.

 

Safety first: even if you have to sometimes be rude. I'd rather be rude than harassed, or frightened.

[Cognitive_Canine]

it's really hard to be a woman online. I don't know how many times I've went to a gaming forum or commented on a wiki with any name that remotely sounds female and all I've gotten was terrible comments from people. Plus, I also agree that 3-4 emails isn't a great connection. She probably got distracted by something else.

[Pegasus]

Well, men online can be so rude too.

 

Stop emailing my boyfriend!

 

Actually - his gf was rude here, not him. LOL

[JadedStar]

Or her husband/significant other found out.

 

LOL Batya.

[Papillion]

Appear as a woman on-line and it's amazing what sort of characters come out.

 

do you know what, someone said this to me a year or so ago, so i tried it. It was a perfectly respectable chat site which i was already on as myself, and i registered as a female just to see what happened. It was shocking. It really opened my eyes. I was getting PM'd literally every 2 or 3 minutes and some of the things being said to me were pure sick. So disrespectful. It made me realise there must literally be a whole underclass of males in this world, literally sitting at their puters all day with their pants down harassing women online and beating one out. It made me glad i wasnt a female to be honest.

[rootcause43]

its all about numbers.

 

They don't have time to send "i don't think this is for me" messages.

 

As a guy i've done the same to the ladies.

[niczeegs]

We get bored? Usually you men don't know how to keep a conversation going!

[alcide]

When things don't flow. {eg] comunication makes no scense or person tends to be a juke or talk nonscense.

[Stambler]

I agree with all the posters here, so many different reasons:

 

Lost interest

Found someone more compatible

Checking out a variety of possibilities

Got scared

Was sneaking around behind SO's back

Too many e-mails to reply to

 

And being that it is on-line, it's convenient and non-confrontational to just "disappear"

 

I know I have done that to ladies on-line also....

[Hopefloats]

It is tough being a female on-line. I don't think that gives women the right to be disrespectful however...at least...that's not how I was raised.

 

That being said, there can be a multitude of reasons why after 3 or 4 emails you just hear nothing. They aren't into you and don't do well with confrontation, thereforeeee they'd rather say nothing than to hurt your feelings. Also, I've had things said to me that were so "out there", I honestly didn't know how on earth to reply.

 

I'd like to think women don't do this intentionally to come accross as horrible people; rather there are underlying reasons for it. The thing is though, it isn't just women who do this. Us women are met with silence an awful lot as well.

[Fritz The Cat]

I guess the bottom line is, don't waste your time on line. It just ain't there. You'd have better luck in a bar of a one horse town. It's getting harder for me to respect women. On the one hand, they say don't play games with me, on the other, they play childish games with guys on line.

 

See you gals in the bar. I'll buy you a drink but I won't respect you in the morning.

[ghost69]

internet or in person. if you don't like someone, you don't have to respond.

[JadedStar]

If i were in that situation I would not feel guilty about not replying anymore because no commitment whatsoever is implied. You are in the screening out phase. If something was said that didn't sit well with me that caused a guy to fail the screening process I might not email him back at all. Women tend to get way too many emails anyway to be able to be super courteous on all of them.

 

People you are chatting with online a dating site have not reached friend status yet so responses are not necessarily required. If you feel like being nice about it you can say "met someone else" or "not interested" but most people dont' do that.

 

I would not be upset if guys did the same thing with me if i failed their screening process in any way.

[ghost69]

most women online are upset and rude cause they are online. they would love to meet someone outside the house PC.

[JadedStar]

most women online are upset and rude cause they are online. they would love to meet someone outside the house PC.

 

HOw do you know they are thinking that?

[ghost69]

HOw do you know they are thinking that?

 

i don't. just a hunch.

[Batya33]

I did on line dating on and off for five years. I was never "upset" that I was on line - most of my friends were on on line dating sites as well - it was fun to share war stories! I would think that someone who is on line and who has no social life might be lonely and thereforeeee generally upset to have no social life and to be on line but as far as the people I knew who were on line all of them had very active social lives.

 

last night I was asked by a new friend of mine if, when I did on line dating, I ever recognized people in real life or was recognized when I was out at social events. Yup - happened several times.

[ghost69]

did i ever say all? attack ghost hour. lol.

[Batya33]

You said "most" as a "hunch" - and since I did it and know many who did I simply believe that my perspective is more accurate and based on real life experience. Not attacking.

[servedcold]

I agree with you generally, OP. Not going to say more and get into a sexist rant, but LOL at some of the excuses for this offered by the women in this thread... I doubt OP is sending out naked pics of himself to these women. Have experienced the same thing, often when THEY initiate contact with ME.

 

Jaded, we aren't talking "super courtesy" here, but basic human decency and manners, and women fail miserably at it online generally other than havens of thoughtful people like ENA. Who knows why, maybe the anonymity of the internet...

 

And it's a copout to say it's part of the screening out process. Every single online dating service has two mouse click ways to let someone know you aren't interested...

[Luke Skywalker]

Well, I've learned not to take any responses online seriously such as that because it really is a numbers game, and if you are persistent then you'd probably have at least one meeting out of someone online per month (possibly up to three if you are lucky), and most of the time if you have a decent profile and send short emails to break the ice then you should get replies if you are performing at your best - from at least a quarter of people you are emailing too.

 

What I would take more seriously is the quality of meeting offline because then you are really making a commitment of time, energy, to meeting someone in person, and the work behind setting up that meeting and meeting that person online. Where I see a good complaint about all of this is if you spent lots of time, rejections, etc... just to set up a flakey date or someone where there is no connection, to get back into the grind to set up another meeting. If it's that much hassle and work to set up dates that don't work, then it would sort of suck.

 

But if it's really getting to you, then just take a break and do some other activity and get back on to it later to refresh your state of mind.

 

Make sure that you are on a site that gets lots of new people every day so perhaps you can target people as they are coming on and thus perhaps more open to responding to your emails.