What is the use of having children?

[FarthestEdge]

Hmmm. It may be your attitude rather than your position that gets the funky looks

 

You seem almost hostile towards children. What's more with questions like "what's the use" and a barrage of insults at children in general, you are not only saying why you don't want kids, but you are insinuating everyone who chooses to raise a family are idiots...

 

Have confidence in your life choices. It doesn't matter if others agree with you. It is your life and having children is NOT something to do because others think you should. You don't have to justify your choice. Which means, you don't have to be defensive about it.

 

Try; "It's not a priority or dream of mine to have children. I don't think I'd be a really great parent as I've never wanted kids. It's just not for me"

 

If parents then try to tell you all the wonderful things about parenting, you can say "See- that's why YOU should be parents- you obviously enjoy it and no doubt your children benefit. It's just not for me"

 

You will never win people over to your way of thinking with an attitude that says "'Cause I'm not an idiot like you"

 

I will say this- if those are your true feelings, then you definitely should NOT be a parent. But I will also say this; It's a good thing your parents didn't feel the same way, don't you think?

 

It takes all kinds of people to make the world go round. You can't expect others to respect your choices if you don't respect theirs.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

You will never win people over to your way of thinking with an attitude that says "'Cause I'm not an idiot like you"

 

i dont live my life too win people over you either like me or not its just as cut and dry as that.

You seem almost hostile towards children. What's more with questions like "what's the use" and a barrage of insults at children in general, you are not only saying why you don't want kids, but you are insinuating everyone who chooses to raise a family are idiots...

 

 

i never said or insuinated that people were douches beacuse they want children im just asking whats the use? why forth doth one haveeth a child?

[FarthestEdge]

Does it really matter to you why I, or anyone else would want to have children? Is there anything I could say that would, or should change your feelings about whether or not YOU want children? Doubtful. And frankly, when you are so aggressive with your stance, I am not inclined to share my reasons with you (although the unconditional love post was excellent- it was not a reason for me, but rather the experience once I became a parent), because I suspect you're going to rant on about how all kids come off as "retarded" and are "greedy and needy", and as a parent, that's insulting. You may not mean it to be, but it is

 

My point was that you don't need to justify or explain your "reasons" for not wanting children, any more than I need to justify MY reasons for having them. We make different life choices. Which is good. It would be a really dull world of we all thought the same...

 

You just sound so angry and defensive about the whole thing, which isn't at all necessary, and does nothing but stress you out. Change your outlook, be confident and content with your choice and don't let others rattle you.

 

Then it won't matter to you WHY any of us want kids. You don't. It's your life. Do what you believe will make you happy.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

im not at all defensive if you didnt want too share your outlook then why did you post about it? if you didnt like it why post? i was asking a simple question. justify or dont justify doesent bother me. and im well more than confident about my decision

[fnlyfrei]

I agree if you don't want them...no biggie. Why post it here ? it's like posting that a person hates all animals...or women...it is going to start a silly debate that has no end. You have the right not to like whatever you choose. No one is going to try to change your mind.

 

This is a silly thread.

[RayKay]

Well, I think if you feel like this about children, you definitely should not be having them.

 

There is no requirement one must have, or not have, children and everyone is free to do as they please in that regard.

 

I am not ready for children; but I certainly know many WONDERFUL children whom are far from bratty, selfish and with bad attitudes. I was older than my siblings, and watching them grow up was amazing - they were great kids, but are truly wonderful adults now.

 

Why do I want them? Because I have a lot of love to share, and have had a wonderful experience growing up in a family with multiple children, and know how even though sometimes it was very rough on my mum, she feels blessed to have had us, and I love the relationship we have NOW (teenagehood was not so good!). My family IS priority in my life and I look forward to adding to my family with children at some point to pass on the love my family shares.

 

But I am not in a rush!

 

I think if you want them, and are emotionally stable and prepared yourself to pass on good values and behaviour to your children, you can also learn a tremendous amount from their own growth. Sure, it will definitely cramp my personal freedom, but for me I think there are wonderful tradeoffs, and several of my friends with children still lead very active, fun lives - just with kids added!

 

I don't disparage the choice of someone NOT to have them - my sister for example does not ever want kids - but I don't see why the reverse should not also be true; why knock others down for their choices to add children to their families?

[buckdawg]

meh. to each their own i guess. i can't imagine my life without my kids. that must be as foreign to you as not wanting kids is to me! lol

 

at least you know yourself and are comfortable with it, that's most important!

[Hope75]

SBJ.

 

Are you looking for some sort of advice here?

 

I'm not sure what the problem is. You are not fond of children, don't want to be a parent, and so you aren't.

 

Seems like a closed case to me.

[Kelebek]

Right on. Perhaps a little harsh, but to the point.

[JadedStar]

i dont care if someone else has a child if they want one more power too them. i just dont see why they would want one

 

But my point was if you really don't like them, wouldn't commonsense dictate that those who DO like them would want them?

 

Those who hate chocolate icecream or jelly rolls don't want them, but those who do, do want them. LOL

 

I am not trying to be so simple here but just because you dislike kids isn't that a strange reason to wonder why someone else who does like them would want to have at least one?

[FarthestEdge]

Ok-so you want to know why we choose to have kids? Here you are:

 

1) I am an accountant- I will never change the world by what I do. But This life has been good to me and if I am going to give anything of value back, it will be a child- a child who I hope to raise to be kind, generous, and helpful. A child who MAY make a difference in this world, instead of, like so may people today, just taking what they can get and giving nothing back. A child who will be part of the future of society and one more voice for social, political, and environmental change. This is not to suggest that people who do not have children give nothing back. There are MANY meaningful ways to contribute to society- this is just one I feel I can do well.

 

2) Because I believe that my view of the world, and what it needs, how people should treat each other etc., is generally a positive view of the world, and by raising a child to understand my values and beliefs, I support others who think like me and value what I do, and hopefully, if I do my job right, I will add another voice to that group.

 

3) Because hearing "Mommy- I love you" is the most wonderful thing in the world. I feel like my heart will burst every time I hear it.

 

4) Because friends come and go. Family CAN too, I know, but where there is love between a parent and child- that bond lasts a lifetime

 

5) Because my husband and I have a strong loving relationship and financial stability. We both feel we offer a positive environment to raise a child and hopefully provide as happy a home as we were blessed enough to grow up in.

 

6) Because I have watched my parents care for their ageing parents, with compassion and love no health care worker can be expected to match. I intend to do the same for them if they ever need it and I hope that my child (ren) will do the same for me. This is, I believe my one selfish motive for being a parent.

 

7)To ME, the peanut buttered couches, snotty noses, poopy diapers, temper tantrums and toys scattered all over are a small price to pay for the hugs, sloppy kisses and "I love you"'s.

 

But that's just me

[notsomuch]

I hate kids too, but I do like the idea of a mini-me walking around. And letting my girlfriends have first pick of my boys when they turn 18

[Kelebek]

I hate kids too, but I do like the idea of a mini-me walking around. And letting my girlfriends have first pick of my boys when they turn 18

 

Are you joking?

[fnlyfrei]

I hate kids too, but I do like the idea of a mini-me walking around. And letting my girlfriends have first pick of my boys when they turn 18

 

Weird. Sick. Strange.

[Mythical_Suicide]

Why question why?

I'm glad you have made the choice that kids aren't for you but why act like it's so strange for someone to want kids.

I love my son to death and I would never even imagine my life without him, he has given me a purpose and i wouldn't trade my role as his mom for anything. I'm not saying it's true for all but your way of thinking makes you seem very selfish and i'm so very glad you don't want kids.

[Spugly Fuglet]

serious question

so someone please tell me what is the use of having children beacuse i have never wanted any, and i get tired of the salty looks like im saying something wrong.

 

Truth is we used to have kids becouse we had no idear how not to, as culture got more complicared, we had kids to help us in an ols age our forbers did

did not live to see. Even then most kids died, infant mortality was very high, child barth was risky meny died in childevaluation barth.

 

but today we have, contrasption, good heath care, good child servivle rates, counter that with a midle class rich and not willing to place the reserses in to having children and you have a low barth rate innthe west. But in the 3ed world the old paradime is still in play, truth is we in the west are a dieing race, the future will be in the hands of the middle east, south america, indea.

 

not just that but the very peaple we need to have kids the britest and best are not passing on there DNA and life skills.

 

so be happy not having kids, your and so meny others feel happy ending the culture that has given them what they have. I do not over state this.

 

 

Greed is good, but only for one geniration.

 

 

For me when my son smiles I need no other reson.

[starscream1988]

People need to understand that just because society has shaped everyone into thinking its "normal" to grow up, get married, and start having kids. I for one am undecided on whether i want children or not, and i'm leaning towards not having them. But it seems like you've just ended the world whenever telling your feelings to people, they look at you like you are some alien with three arms coming out of your head. Children and marriage are not a necessity to life, and people need to learn that not everyone wants the same thing society does. I dont care how "joyful" little timmy is and how timmy has fufilled my life and i can't imagine life without him, who really cares honestly. Its you as an individual, and you need to live your life the way you want to. I must say your response to people who have the "salty look" is very wise lol, i like it. It makes all the more sense in the world than someone trying to explain to you why you SHOULD want kids. It all goes back to, 'if they're jumping off the bridge will you jump too?'

[starscream1988]

nobody is selfish for not wanting kids. I hear this a lot about my sister who does not have children. She is not selfish. She merely wants to live her life with no children and i totally respect her for it. More power to her, that means more vacations for her and her husband and absolutely no nights of vomiting children. Its just not for everyone, and that is fine. It does not make you mean, selfish or anything. We all need to accept that.

[rocio]

There can be many reasons for wanting kids. It makes you feel powerful and important to have people who completely depend on you and think that you're a superhero. It can feel good to be in a position of authority. You also don't have to worry about being alone. The more kids you have, the less likely you are to be spending Christmas alone when you're 70 years old. They can also serve as a great retirement plan. They can rub your back and fetch the t.v. remote. Shopping for tiny clothes can also be lots of fun. And babies make a great accessory.

[Kelebek]

It's not that you should or should not want kids, but having no respect and positive regard for children as developing human beings is, honestly, troublesome. Calling children "slow, retarded, greedy" and so on? It's fine if you don't want your own children, but I don't even want someone NEAR my children who views children in this light. To be honest, it seems a bit sociopathic.

[Bunney]

I agree with Kelebek, completely.

 

This attitude towards children.. I wouldn't even consider it normal anymore. Like someone else said it before, the issues must be with YOU sbj, not the children.

 

I understand if you say you don't want to have children, but to wonder WHY someone WOULD wanna have children.. that's just.. stupid, to express it nicely.

 

As for me.. I look forward to the stage of my life where I live together with a wonderful husband who I deeply love, and one day lie in hospital with a beautiful little baby in my arms - I look forward to raise my child(ren) with love and care, & when I'm about to die I'll feel good knowing that I've left something behind for the world - knowing that I'll always go on in a way It'll feel great to have "accomplished" something such as having raised another human being.

 

Sure they're a lot of hard work, especially in the baby years, but they're worth the effort. My sister has a 2 year old boy and a 8 months old babygirl (I LOVE THEM TO DEATH), so I know how difficult it is sometimes, but my sister tells me that they're the best thing that has ever happened to her and she never regretted having them.

They're so cuuuuuuuuuuute.

 

Babies are wonderful!

[theartofruin]

I can't stand children, and whether that's the parents or not I don't know, but if it is then that just means all parents are bad. I wish more public places were child-free.

 

I absolutely loathe flying because of children (fortunately trains/buses aren't too bad). It annoys me how lots of parents talk to their babies in an alien language. It annoys me how everybody thinks babies are cute just because they scream and can't speak properly. I can't stand those brats who dribble and spit and squeak while I'm trying to relax, and look at you with this evil "Aren't I so cute?" look, because they're used to family members heaping praise on them every time they breathe.

 

I'm with OP on this one. Children are fairly pointless.

[vinnee]

I have a nine year old son. He is all kinds of awesome. So much more fun now than when he was a baby. You can't have a conversation or reason with a baby and you have to pack up half the house just to take them somewhere. You have to guess why they are crying. I remember how different people treated me when I was pregnant to how they acted towards me once he was born. It was like I belonged to everyone. Complete strangers asking me the most personal questions and not even thinking twice about touching me. A huge pregnant belly seems to be public property.

When I was pregnant people would smile at me and hold doors open. Sometimes complete strangers would offer to carry things for me. Once he was born it was like I was a leper exposing them to disease. I was not one of those pushy mothers with the huge strollers either. People, adult people, can be really annoying. While I don't care much for other people's kids, I recognize the difference to be uncontrolled children and find their parents to be the source of my annoyance.

It sounds like the anti kid people are bothered most by toddlers. I see where they are coming from. Toddlers think the world is here for them. They haven't realized yet that they aren't the only real person or that other people have wants too. it is just a stage of life and it goes by so fast.

If you think toddlers are annoying, try watching teenagers interact with their parents. The parents that serve their child's every whim end up creating the most appalling excuses for young adults.

It is homecoming season and I am a floral designer. Last weekend I had finished up all the dance flowers and needed to get a small wedding finished for the next morning. It was 5:00 pm and the night of the dance. This woman comes in and asks for a corsage. No not to place an order for the next week. No not to pick one up that had been previously ordered. She needs it now. I tell her I was no longer taking orders for corsages; I had stopped at 2:00pm. Her son should have thought ahead and ordered one this morning if not earlier in the week. Very sorry lady. She starts freaking out and screeching about how her son if going to be soooo mad at HER for not being able to get a corsage for HIS date! He had forgotten and now she just had to fix it for him or he was going to be mad. Her teenage daughter is standing behind her saying "Ohhh you are in so much trouble now mom!"

I was standing there thinking about how I would handle it if my son forgot something that was his responsibility and expected me to fix it or he would be mad at me.

Wait. This will never happen to me. Cause I don't give two flips about if my son gets mad at me. I am his parent and he should have thought about things sooner. See my kid is going to grow up to be a responsible adult. Her kid is going to grow up to be......perhaps like the OP. The kid of person who worries about what they will have to do without if they had a kid and feel threatened by a child's needs.

[Bunney]

I can't stand children, and whether that's the parents or not I don't know, but if it is then that just means all parents are bad. I wish more public places were child-free.

 

I absolutely loathe flying because of children (fortunately trains/buses aren't too bad). It annoys me how lots of parents talk to their babies in an alien language. It annoys me how everybody thinks babies are cute just because they scream and can't speak properly. I can't stand those brats who dribble and spit and squeak while I'm trying to relax, and look at you with this evil "Aren't I so cute?" look, because they're used to family members heaping praise on them every time they breathe.

 

I'm with OP on this one. Children are fairly pointless.

 

Maybe you're just frustrated in general? You really do seem so. NO, children aren't pointless, hello, they are the future of the world. They are not pointless and that is a fact.

 

I can see why someone wouldnt wanna have kids but it just annoys the hell out of me when someone acts so damn hostile against them. you were a freaking kid yourself.

 

oh by the way, I dont think babies are cute just because they scream and cant speak. They're cute because they're so little and they look cute and how they love to explore and experience and it's cute watching them learning how to walk and speak.. and how they laugh.. they're always cute except when they scream and cry too much. but that's just freaking normal. God..

[CaptainPlanet]

The use of kids are many. They're are status symbol for starters, well looked after kids are an indication of you success in life, your legacy for the next generation. Small kids are cute, and they give you something to do and a person to be interested in. Not to mention you create permenant company for yourself. So you don't need to worry about all the a holes out in the real world.

 

The list could go on forever. This type of question is akin to why should I have friends ? because your're not a reptile, even reptiles have kids.

 

I agree that there are certain people who should never have kids. If all you want to is live cheap horde money, drink gamble, and visit hookers then you probably shouldn't have kids.

 

if I had a good job and some security I would probably look to have kids, but because I don't and probably won't for a many years to come its not likely that I will.