What is the use of having children?

[Kelebek]

This debate could go on forever, but I think the people who "hate" children really just lack in the experiences that people who love and adore children have had. Maybe they had a bad childhood themselves. All I know is that when my four year old sister calls my name with excitement when she sees me, or when I swoop her up in my arms and she plays with the sequins on my shirt or twirls my hair through her little fingers and looks at me with her big sparking blue eyes, or when I say a word that she doesn't understand and she repeats it slowly back to herself, trying to make sense of it, I don't feel anything but the deepest love and adoration.

 

I guess it makes me a little sad that there are people out there who haven't experienced that and who might not experience that because they can't let go of their own selfish irritability.

 

Of course children cry, scream, slobber, spit and have temper tantrums...but guess what? So do adults. And there are a hell of a lot more adults out there that I can't stand than children.

[vinnee]

I had a terrible childhood and didn't want children before I had my son because I was afraid I would continue the cycle. It had very little to do with the mindset of "I hate children cause of slobber, money, infringed freedom, and noise".

I think the people who hate children for these reasons DID have a bad childhood in that they were over indulged and allowed to grow up to be selfish.

[Miss Firecracker]

And there are a hell of a lot more adults out there that I can't stand than children.

 

I didn't want to say that, but...LOL!

[Mythical_Suicide]

 

Of course children cry, scream, slobber, spit and have temper tantrums...but guess what? So do adults. And there are a hell of a lot more adults out there that I can't stand than children.

 

 

Oh So true!!

[theartofruin]

Maybe you're just frustrated in general? You really do seem so. NO, children aren't pointless, hello, they are the future of the world. They are not pointless and that is a fact.

 

I can see why someone wouldnt wanna have kids but it just annoys the hell out of me when someone acts so damn hostile against them. you were a freaking kid yourself.

 

oh by the way, I dont think babies are cute just because they scream and cant speak. They're cute because they're so little and they look cute and how they love to explore and experience and it's cute watching them learning how to walk and speak.. and how they laugh.. they're always cute except when they scream and cry too much. but that's just freaking normal. God..

 

Alright mate, take it easy. So they're not 'pointless', and I realise I was a child once too. I just don't like them, they bug me, they annoy me, and my life would be a lot more peaceful without them.

 

I don't get the 'cute' thing AT ALL. Listening to people gaping in awe at a baby and saying how he or she is the most gorgeous baby in the world strikes me as idiotic and meaningless, and most of the time fake.

 

But to everyone who loves kids and loves being a parent, good for them. I'm happy for you.

[starscream1988]

Alright mate, take it easy. So they're not 'pointless', and I realise I was a child once too. I just don't like them, they bug me, they annoy me, and my life would be a lot more peaceful without them.

 

I don't get the 'cute' thing AT ALL. Listening to people gaping in awe at a baby and saying how he or she is the most gorgeous baby in the world strikes me as idiotic and meaningless, and most of the time fake.

 

But to everyone who loves kids and loves being a parent, good for them. I'm happy for you.

 

 

Isn't it funny how EVERY baby is "the cutest baby in the world". There can only be one cutest baby in the world or cutest anything in the world lol. I know its wrong to say things about children, that they are retarded etc, the thing i just wish everyone will understand, that just because people do not want children, does not mean they are selfish. It seems to be the most common reaction from people. My sister is a very nice person, she is by no means selfish, she just likes her life the way it is. But i hear people talk behind her back saying that she is just selfish, and it hurts me to hear that. Its just a stereotype: all people who dont have children are selfish. I realize most of you get this, but some seem that they do not get it

[starscream1988]

 

I guess it makes me a little sad that there are people out there who haven't experienced that and who might not experience that because they can't let go of their own selfish irritability.

 

 

No need to feel sad. Many people may feel the same way you do, but there are still many who don't. They won't miss it.

[avman]

It's not selfish not to want children. That is totally fine. Everyone must make their own choice about that and there is no right or wrong decision.

 

However it would be nice to show some tolerance for those who do have children and for children themselves. After all, you were a child once. And you annoyed people too and did things you weren't supposed to. All of us did and it took time for us to learn how to behave properly.

[goingtolawschool]

You forgot:

- the world is already over-populated

- at this rate, what responsible adult wants to bring new life into the environmental disaster we created

- we are already spending our "kids" social security

- divorce is much easier without kids

- if you ever do decide you want them, there is always adoption

[vinnee]

It's not selfish not to want children. That is totally fine. Everyone must make their own choice about that and there is no right or wrong decision.

 

However it would be nice to show some tolerance for those who do have children and for children themselves. After all, you were once a child once. And you annoyed people too and did things you weren't supposed to. All of us did and it took time for us to learn how to behave properly.

 

Exactly. It is the hostility on the subject that gives one pause.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

yes i know the fact that i dont like children makes me a raging sociopath who had a bad childhood and my mommy tossed all my toys out the window. when in fact i had a fine childhood raised in good conditions and had two hardworking parents.

 

no i dont want too be within the presense of children. and no i dont have any issues with myself. i have a limited tolerance for kids, and yes ive been in the presense of Kids a for most of my life so i know what their like. all i asked was why do people have children? what is the pourpose?

[bewilderment]

I totally understand what you are saying, however, I now have two beautiful children of my own. I never really liked kids either until I had my own. I always saw them as annoying, and I had many more important things to do besides talk to any kid. I hated babysitting! I was a pretty self involved adult. It didn't get married until I was 31, and then, for whatever reason, I felt this desire to have a baby of my own. It may have been just being a woman and wanting to reproduce, not sure! The pregnancy sucked, but I am telling you, it is like no other when that little baby is born, my son, looking like me, and was truly the most perfect baby. Barely cried unless hungry or tired. I think if I had a colicky baby, I would have run away. My second child was an accident (surprise), but I was excited to learn I was having a girl. This baby is even better than the last! Just smiles all of the time!! I will spare you with my "kid" stories, but what I am saying is that it completely different when it is your own!! Also, it is amazing the love that you get from them...it is the most PURE and UNCONDITIONAL. What was your childhood like?

[bewilderment]

I do sense a little darkness or anger in your tone. Am I wrong?

[Mythical_Suicide]

I also just wanted to add..

 

I have absolutely no patience towards other peoples kids, infact I almost despise any kid that isn't my own. I thought this would affect me as a parent but the truth is, no matter what my kid does it doesn't bother me and I find myself ok with my son doing the things that other peoples kid do that just absolutely annoys me. It's alot different having your own child , now i'm not saying anyone and everyone will be the same way but just putting it out there. If you don't want to have kids, that is absolutely fine infact it's great there are already so many kids in foster care and the like because their parents didn't want them. But like avman said, don't judge the ones who do choose to have kids.

[Mythical_Suicide]

Oops! I just realized I posted almost the same as Jenniegirl.. maybe I should read each post first? Hehe!

[theartofruin]

I also just wanted to add..

 

I have absolutely no patience towards other peoples kids, infact I almost despise any kid that isn't my own. I thought this would affect me as a parent but the truth is, no matter what my kid does it doesn't bother me and I find myself ok with my son doing the things that other peoples kid do that just absolutely annoys me. It's alot different having your own child , now i'm not saying anyone and everyone will be the same way but just putting it out there. If you don't want to have kids, that is absolutely fine infact it's great there are already so many kids in foster care and the like because their parents didn't want them. But like avman said, don't judge the ones who do choose to have kids.

 

I know a lot of parents who think like that. Maybe one day I"ll have kids of my own and think they're fantastic too.

 

But the point I was making earlier is backed up by what you've said. You, as a parent yourself, almost despise any other kids. However whatever your own child does doesn't bother you. Unfortunately what your own child is doing bothers other people, hence people like myself and the OP ranting.

 

Example: a kid screaming on a plane or whatever is HILARIOUSLY cute to their own parents, but to the rest of us makes it the worst day of our entire life.

[Kelebek]

all i asked was why do people have children? what is the pourpose?

 

So, was your question answered?

[Wayfara]

why do people have children? what is the pourpose?

 

I think it’s for the same selfish reason as those who don’t want children, to enjoy more of life. I think that in general those who want children want children because they think they will enjoy life more that way (they maybe think that having children is entertaining etc). Those who don’t want children probably think that they will enjoy life more without them (living more freely etc).

 

My mother says she decided to have me because she loved my father so much that she wanted to have his child as this child would remind her of him and because she doesn’t want the family line to die out. Then I know a mother with many children who actually says that every time she uses contraception she feels guilty knowing that by using the contraception she prevents a child to become to life. She thinks that using condoms and birth control is a little bit like committing murder on children who could have been. She says that she can in her head see a row of children asking her “Why didn’t you make me?”

 

I don’t think that being annoyed by children makes someone bad. Just because certain traits children often possess irritate some people it doesn’t make them evil, just like not feeling attraction for a wonderful person doesn't make someone evil, like and dislike is often beyond control. I agree that even though some people may not want children, or even like them they would probably love their own kids if they had. But then I think that people with kids usually want a limit number of kids. There are not many people who would want like fifteen kids even though they probably would love them all if they indeed had fifteen kids.

 

I don’t want children and it can be frustrating when there are people who don’t think my reasons for not wanting them for myself are big and sufficient enough. I cannot see that having children should be like a duty. I know a woman in her late twenties who got a lecture by a woman in a bus for having a big beautiful house with big garden and not giving a child the opportunity to grow up in that environment. Personally I don’t think that not wanting children is more selfish than wanting them. I don’t get how anyone can feel sorry for children who doesn’t even exist in any level and call someone selfish for not making them.

[CaptainPlanet]

I can understand if you don't want kids, but I cannot understand not liking kids at all. They're just kids... we were all kids once.

[bewilderment]

 

Example: a kid screaming on a plane or whatever is HILARIOUSLY cute to their own parents, but to the rest of us makes it the worst day of our entire life.

 

Absolutely wrong example....that is one of the most annoying things in the world when my son acts up on the plane. And you can't spank him in front of everyone (not that I do that too much anyways), and you can't give him a time out...it sucks!! My 2 year old was a crazy person when I took him on a 3 hour plane ride, so all I could do was give him a pinch (I know, it's barbaric). But it worked!! Most parents of children who behave badly in public are suffering, believe me!

[theartofruin]

Absolutely wrong example....that is one of the most annoying things in the world when my son acts up on the plane. And you can't spank him in front of everyone (not that I do that too much anyways), and you can't give him a time out...it sucks!! My 2 year old was a crazy person when I took him on a 3 hour plane ride, so all I could do was give him a pinch (I know, it's barbaric). But it worked!! Most parents of children who behave badly in public are suffering, believe me!

 

I know there are some decent parents who are appalled when their kids play up, but I seem to be surrounded by parents who don't know how to control their spawn. Their kid screams and throws stuff and talks back and all they say is "Aww don't be naughty sweetie". My dad whacked me one if I misbehaved (back in the day, when you were actually alowed to smack your kid for being a brat), and if we ever dared misbehave in public (cinema or something) we'd have been dragged out for shame. So we didn't misbehave in public.

[KG]

SBJR...

When they hold you tight, cuz they did something wonderful.

When they cry next to you, cuz something terrible happened.

When you realise they are the next gen of YOU.

When you see them put the birdnest back in the tree so the birds still have a place to call home.

That's why....your progeny!

How can you be more immortal!

[Mythical_Suicide]

Example: a kid screaming on a plane or whatever is HILARIOUSLY cute to their own parents, but to the rest of us makes it the worst day of our entire life.

 

Just so you know, when you're a parent things like that ARENT hilarious to the parent infact it's rather embarrassing. That's where most are misunderstanding it.

 

My son is 2 but has some of the best manners you will ever find.. I refuse to allow my son to act up in public places and he respects EVERYONE! Of course he's going to get rowdy but he's two after all.. Everyone on this board acted up at some point or another and annoyed the life out of other people and your own parents. Its life, it's what they do. So it's is very untrue what you're saying.

[vinnee]

I don't think that everyone who doesn't want kids is a selfish person. Having a kid doesn't make someone incapable of being selfish either. But I could see a selfish person finding the idea of having a child in their life as a direct threat to their own wants. And really, I don't have a problem with that either. OP did however put the subject out there for us all to ponder and add our two cents.

It stands to reason that a person who isn't all about having kids and hasn't had one will have trouble trying to come up with exactly what there is to gain about having a kid in their life. He asked and many have answered. It doesn't seem to end with that for him. The tone is that he just wants to be a hater.

Hatin' McHater!

I don't think that the people on here getting on the OP's case about his thread are coming down on him simply for not wanting a kid. It is the animosity with which he views children and the people who choose to have them that is disturbing them. We all like our kids way better than anyone else's. Some of us don't like how most other children behave. And this can lend to us feeling like we don't like ANY kids but our own. Likely this is because we only notice the unmonitored brats while the well behaved kids just don't get noticed.

[fnlyfrei]

Yeah...I think people who do not choose to have children are fine. I would never judge them. But there are people who put their two-cents in, and quite loudly, when they think someone has too many children. It's really no one elses business either. Everyone has their own reasons, and no two are the same reasons possibly. I have three sons, they are all teenagers...one is 21..and it isn't easy to raise another human being, watch them make mistakes, have them rebel against you when you are trying to do what is best for them....I think people who chose NOT to have children were/are fully aware of the overwhelming responsibility. Good for them ! I was very young when I had kids..and did not have a clue. Hating children reminds me of those people on "Chitty chitty bang bang" The king and queen who despised children, but acted like children themselves....maybe buttabean hates kids because they reflect his own immaturity...they are rivals really for the attention he wants. Most hate is derived from fear...and that kind of fear is based on ignorance. Generalizing is predjudice and bigotry..no matter what group you generalize about. It doesn't make you a better person.