Example of how most men value looks over intelligence

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Be yourself. If you sex yourself up you will end up with some loser of a man who only wants arm candy and a roll in the hay. I know someone who told me I should sex myself up more....that is how she managed to catch a husband...a husband who doesn't have time for her and couldn't care less about her. I got the same advice from another woman who told me to dress more sexy. Well, this woman dresses sexy even to work, hasn't done her any good. She is older than I am and has never been married. Yes, I have seen lots of women sex themselves up and get lots of attention from men....but these men were clearly just hoping for a little action with the "hot babe".

 

With regards to high heels, wear them for you and not to attract a man. Remember, it is harder to walk in high heels and when you get older, you will have lots of problems with your feet if you keep walking around in shoes which result in your foot being at a 90 degree angle.

 

Be yourself and don't cave into the sexpot image if that is not who you are comfortable being.

[JadedStar]

I picture you in a plain business-type woman's attorney suit with your hair up in a bun and glasses, briefcase and a pile of papers in your arm...unsmiling.

You need to take some belly-dancing classes from annie, let down your hair and sex it up girl ! Just 'cause you are smart doesn't mean you can't be "hot"....I think in the spirit of Olivia Newton John in "Grease" after her transformation..that's all you need. A new attitude.

 

This made me laugh. Good post.

 

You are only as good looking as you feel violingirl. I have met many a woman in my life who at first glance was average or below but her attitude was so darn confident you just didn't have to wonder twice why she always had a lot of male attention.

 

It is easier to btch about those we feel are prettier, but hey, it sounds like this woman worked HARD on her appearance. Why shouldn't she get some reward for her effort? By your own admissions you don't take a lot of time on your appearance, and frankly it will show. I am not suggesting that women walk around looking like plastic dolls, but i think every woman who wants male attention should play up her God given assets. That does not always mean drowning in makeup, it means dressing to accentuate what you have and wearing your hair and make up in a way that will make you look your best.

 

There is nothing shallow or wrong about looking your best, and let's face it, eveyrone likes compliments, to include you (to the OP not fnlyfrei)...that is why you were so bitter about this female who you deem "unintelligent". Yes, I agree you should be recognized for your mind and dedication to your craft, but in the area of romance attraction is a KEY element. That cannot be denied.

[JadedStar]

Well that is easy to say, but i think we all know that a woman who does nothing to accentuate her appearance, unless she is a natural born beauty, WILL have problems in the singles arena.

 

It is what it is. Putting effort into one's appearance does NOT mean they are not being themselves. I like wearing a jogging suit but there are times that I know my appearance matters and I will dress accordingly.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

do you ever say to yourself, "He did a really great job on that TPS report. I want to go on a date with him!" or do you ever want to date a man just because he has a good job? Likely not. You notice someone you find attractive first, even if he is not a "brad pitt" type, maybe he has something you find cute or interesting (like you mentioned that other guy). then you spend a little time with him and see that he is funny or interesting or smart. Not saying that looks are important and personality is not, just saying that there needs to be a "hook" of sorts. Maybe a man heard you argue your case and he was impressed, in the way that he might offer you a job one day, but not in the way that he was moved to ask you out on a date.[/QUOTE]

 

That is a major generalization. Plenty of relationships blossom between people who have similar interests, where the interests have been the hook, not the appearances. Plenty of people date within their own professions...doctors dating doctors, lawyers dating lawyers etc...it is the common interest that brings them together. It is entirely possible that the man who heard the woman arguing her case could be very captivated by how well she did and would be very much interested in getting to know her better based on her abilities. It is really feeding into stereotypes to say that all women have to primp and preen in order to get a man and all men will only go after these primping, preening women.

[JadedStar]

So, you wanted the attention of the "cute" attorney heh? So, it's the "cute one" that caught your attention? The cute one that had your ear to the point where you wanted to listen in on his conversation? Are you not sensing any irony here? You're doing exactly what you're accusing men of doing. Same standards for you.

 

YOu are good Jettison. lol

 

I agree with this.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Well that is easy to say, but i think we all know that a woman who does nothing to accentuate her appearance, unless she is a natural born beauty, WILL have problems in the singles arena.

 

It is what it is. Putting effort into one's appearance does NOT mean they are not being themselves. I like wearing a jogging suit but there are times that I know my appearance matters and I will dress accordingly.

 

I am not saying dress down, sure, there are times that you want to dress up and look good. But there are ways of looking good in a classy and elegant or even understated way as opposed to looking like you are ready and willing to do the horizontal mambo with any guy who looks your way.

 

I have known of relationships to blossom between people who do hiking. When you are hiking, you are usually sweaty, hair plastered to your head, wearing hiking boots and looking like a mess. It is the common interest and the opportunity to engage in conversation which allows the interest in each other to develop.

[JadedStar]

There has to be an attraction tho. Maybe that will come later, but most of the time it is not just mutual interest that attracts you romantically...physical attraction DOES play a major role here. What one deems attractve is different for all, but it is rose colored glasses thinking to say that this is just perpetuating a stereotype.

 

It is not a stereotype at all. Phyiscal attraction is a HUGE part of the dating game. It is human nature. We gravitate to what we find visually appealing. That does not mean that every man feels a barbiedoll female is appealing but each man will gravitate to his particular type.

[annie24]

So, you wanted the attention of the "cute" attorney heh? So, it's the "cute one" that caught your attention? The cute one that had your ear to the point where you wanted to listen in on his conversation? Are you not sensing any irony here? You're doing exactly what you're accusing men of doing. Same standards for you.

 

Hahaha, I must have missed this! This is an excellent point.

[JadedStar]

I am not saying dress down, sure, there are times that you want to dress up and look good. But there are ways of looking good in a classy and elegant or even understated way as opposed to looking like you are ready and willing to do the horizontal mambo with any guy who looks your way.

 

I don't think any person here were suggesting she dress to appear she wanted to do the "horizaontal mambo". Looking one's best does not mean looking like a cheap ten dollar hooker.

[annie24]

I don't think putting on high heels and lipstick = getting a husband. And I don't wear high heels so often myself anymore to work, too hard on my feet. But the key is to look nice in the way that is authentic to yourself. Everyone can look better than they do. Besides, slimming down is good for your body and health (and I am trying to take that advice myself right now )

[Obblhey]

This hasn't been said, so maybe it's just unique to me, but I'll say it. I don't think I could ever date a woman with the same expertise as me. I'm a computer geek, and even though I've never actually met a girl who was a computer geek, I think I'd find it unattractive. Now, that's not to say I don't like smart girls. The last girl I liked was very smart and a dang genius at history. If they're smart with cars, sports, medicine, nuclear physics, any of those things are great, but computers are MY department. Lawyers may be thinking the same thing about another lawyer.

 

And incidentally, I LIKE suits and glasses on girls.

[annie24]

Wow, that is a great point. Many people like to have a sort of "balance" in the relationship. I know several lawyer/doctor couples. Obviously both smart, but in their own ways.

[JadedStar]

This hasn't been said, so maybe it's just unique to me, but I'll say it. I don't think I could ever date a woman with the same expertise as me. I'm a computer geek, and even though I've never actually met a girl who was a computer geek, I think I'd find it unattractive. Now, that's not to say I don't like smart girls. The last girl I liked was very smart and a dang genius at history. If they're smart with cars, sports, medicine, nuclear physics, any of those things are great, but computers are MY department. Lawyers may be thinking the same thing about another lawyer.

 

And incidentally, I LIKE suits and glasses on girls.

 

This is EXACTLY how me and my husband are. We are only a point away IQ wise, but we both have opposite strengths. I am more lingustic and he is more analytical and quantitative.

 

For us, it works. We never have a dull moment in conversation and having those opposing strengths is a great blend.

 

I am the resume proofer and he balances the checkbook. LOL He cooks and I clean. LOL

[RayKay]

This is EXACTLY how me and my husband are. We are only a point away IQ wise, but we both have opposite strengths. I am more lingustic and he is more analytical and quantitative.

 

For us, it works. We never have a dull moment in conversation and having those opposing strengths is a great blend.

 

Same here; he is an engineer - has science background, I am with a poli-sci major/arts background now studying law.

 

While I don't have the "way of thinking" needed for engineering I still find it fascinating and love to hear him share things with me, and while he has the way of thinking for law (engineers actually do quite well in law, and the double degree is a great asset in business)...he really things it is rather an odd creature (what he feels are a lot of "blurred lines" and so forth...which is true particularly of common law) but yet still likes to bounce things off me.

 

I have never had my IQ officially tested (could not be bothered really) and nor has he, but it is funny actually, he has this quick little MENSA test thing that we have both tried, and we both did well, and the funny thing is we were able to do the parts the other could not get....so I guess together we really are smarter than apart!

[JadedStar]

We both had our IQ tested at the same time out of curiosity. LOL

 

Just one point away from each other. The funny thing was how our strengths were described. Polar opposite.

 

We have so many in depth conversations. I can't say that in all the years I have known him there was ever a lull in conversation.

[summerpeach]

When I was hired where I work now, I applied for a senior buyer job, they gave me the assistant job instead. I needed to work badly (just lost my biz), so took the job. Within 3 months, I was making strides at my job. My boss, at the time, said "I hired you for your legs, not your brains, now file this"

This loser hired me b/c I was cute and didn't expect me to be intelligent.

His assessment of me was all wrong. He judged the book by the cover.

I'm now a senior buyer and he was let go.

Never judge a book by the cover.

Heck, look at Pam Anderson. Acts dumb, but she is dumb all the way to the bank.

 

At least you admit you're jealous of this girl........meh to jealously. No need to be jealous. Looks have NOTHING do to with getting a man.

I'm a red headed bombshell and had a horrible time getting a date.

When I changed my attitude, the men came flocking.

Sexy is all about intelligence.

[JadedStar]

There is a big difference here tho. What happened to you was considered harassment in the workplace. What happened with this plaintiff was just some men finding her attractive.

 

There is a difference. Your boss should have been fired for saying that. But in the real world that does not consist of employment laws we do gravitate to those we find visually appealing. I do not find anything that she said these male attys did to be unethical. We dont know if they honed in on her because she was a pretty female to talk to, or a potential client. either/or was not breaking any rules.

 

And summerpeach I have seen your pic so you don't have to worry about the laws of attraction LOL. But it sounds like even you know that appearance is only part of the equation for successful dating. And good for you for proving you also have a brain ...

[annie24]

WHOA!!!!!!!! I sure hope you filed a form describing this sexual harassement. i have never had a male say anything like this to me.

[summerpeach]

WHOA!!!!!!!! I sure hope you filed a form describing this sexual harassement. i have never had a male say anything like this to me.

 

No, I did not, b/c I was in fear of losing that job...BUT, the harassment continued with other men I worked with and I myself and one other women filed a harassment suit and we won. Most of the men were fired or suspended.

And this co by the way, is one of the top 10 wealthest co's in Canada.

[summerpeach]

true, but bottom line is men are pigs right?...hahah!

 

Thanks for the kind words I always has small boobs, so I needed to work on my brains

[DN]

true, but bottom line is men are pigs right?...hahah!

Actually no - that is wrong.

[JadedStar]

true, but bottom line is men are pigs right?...hahah!

 

Thanks for the kind words I always has small boobs, so I needed to work on my brains

 

LOL. NOt at all. Just the guy who hired you was a pig. Many are not.

 

That was very unfortunate that you had a guy say that to you like that. It blows my mind that even today some people get away with these harassing comments.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

This hasn't been said, so maybe it's just unique to me, but I'll say it. I don't think I could ever date a woman with the same expertise as me. I'm a computer geek, and even though I've never actually met a girl who was a computer geek, I think I'd find it unattractive. Now, that's not to say I don't like smart girls. The last girl I liked was very smart and a dang genius at history. If they're smart with cars, sports, medicine, nuclear physics, any of those things are great, but computers are MY department.

Lawyers may be thinking the same thing about another lawyer.

 

And incidentally, I LIKE suits and glasses on girls.

 

I wouldn't make generalizations based on your preferences. I work in the science field and have seen many scientists marry fellow scientists...some who even worked in the same laboratory as grad students. It is actually very common for scientists to marry scientists. I have also seen the same with MDs. I think if you look around, you will find quite a number of people in the professional fields who marry someone within their profession. Writers marrying writers, actors marrying actresses. Not everyone feels that they OWN a line of work and their potential partner can't ever belong in that "club".

[servedcold]

NYC will fool you into thinking you are getting exercise from walking, but generally the kind of walking does you little good. When I was in practice there, I was 40 pounds heavier than now, but walking all the time, and it was a huge kink in my social life. Folks also tend to eat lots of stress there, and the food is so good it's really easy to overeat. Put a treadmill in your apt and walk while watching tv, build up to 40 minutes at 4 mph. Will be a great start, cut stress, raise your mental capacity, etc. Make the time, counselor! I finally did and wish I'd done it years ago.

 

Ok so we all know that a pack of guys will hoot and holler over a bimbo (if that is actually what you are describing in the thread) perceived as "fresh meat," even if they are generally discerning men who would normally not consider her, call it a "herd mentality." But I think there may have been something else going on here. The "damsel in distress" in need of protection instinct is indeed powerful, and plays on chivalrous behaviors that are still instilled in lots of men growing up. If you want to trigger this instinct more often, try "dropping a hankie" or its equivalent every now and then. Guys tripping over themselves to help a woman perceived as in need of masculine strength are probably not reacting in the most enlightened way, but it is what it is. Put it to use in your favor. I have a hunch that a little flirting might be all that is necessary to fix your social issues. Best wishes.

[annie24]

I wouldn't make generalizations based on your preferences. I work in the science field and have seen many scientists marry fellow scientists...some who even worked in the same laboratory as grad students. It is actually very common for scientists to marry scientists. I have also seen the same with MDs. I think if you look around, you will find quite a number of people in the professional fields who marry someone within their profession. Writers marrying writers, actors marrying actresses. Not everyone feels that they OWN a line of work and their potential partner can't ever belong in that "club".

 

I don't think that he was making a generalization, just pointing out something. I think it's a good point. Yes, many people tend to meet and marry people at work, so they are in a similar field. but another segment of the population just isn't interested in dating someone in their own field. If you walk into a room with 10 men, and even if you are the hottest thing ever, maybe 2 or 3 just aren't interested in dating someone in the same field.