Question for guys about PMS

[Krystal_Ivy]

It just sounds like a bunch of guys who have no clue what a woman goes through saying "oh its no big deal!" ..."eat right and exercise, you'll be fine" .."if you still have symptoms..then you aren't "helping" yourself"

 

I'm just sitting here in awe.. ..just because your (a general your) PMS isn't so bad..or you were able to control with diet and exercise... doesn't mean that someone who really suffers with severe PMS... hasn't tried those things as well.

 

I just think that saying that you should eat right and all of these other suggestions is like telling someone who is severely depressed to "cheer up!".

exactly. couldn't have said it better myself.

[Krystal_Ivy]

it DOES work for you. it DOESN'T work for me. You think I feel like this and I wouldn't have tried everything in the book to feel better???? of course I have!

[kellbell]

"It just sounds like a bunch of guys who have no clue what a woman goes through saying "oh its no big deal!" ..."eat right and exercise, you'll be fine" .."if you still have symptoms..then you aren't "helping" yourself" "

 

Hands, I did not realize Krystal was having a hard time until page THREE of this thread. Her opening statements were very general and did not take into her account of how she suffers from PMS initially or her personal account of what she goes through.

 

No women here has discounted that PMS or severe PMS does not exsit, just that is not an excuse to treat others poorly or say, "well I am a woman, so you need to deal with it..." Servere or not, I feel it is a women's repsonsiblity to be proactive about her reproductive health.

[RayKay]

It just sounds like a bunch of guys who have no clue what a woman goes through saying "oh its no big deal!" ..."eat right and exercise, you'll be fine" .."if you still have symptoms..then you aren't "helping" yourself"

 

I'm just sitting here in awe.. ..just because your (a general your) PMS isn't so bad..or you were able to control with diet and exercise... doesn't mean that someone who really suffers with severe PMS... hasn't tried those things as well.

 

I just think that saying that you should eat right and all of these other suggestions is like telling someone who is severely depressed to "cheer up!".

 

But who is saying it does not exist and it is not serious?

 

If someone has depression, I would tell them to try everything possible as well. Exercise does help, proper diet does help, and medical intervention DOES help with that too. How much they help varies, of course, but I would say improvement is improvement, and that there are ways to learn to live with it, without acting out towards others.

 

Which is also what I recommended here. If something bothers you about your health, you need to keep trying, trying and trying to find what works for you. That does not mean it is not frustrating at times when something does not work, but that does not mean something else won't...you have to keep trying.

[TheFoglifter]

... so everyone that thinks it's just an excuse to be a b%@#* then why is it that I HATE MYSELF during PMS?? why do I feel horrible for the way I'm treating my boyfriend? why do I cry and feel such sadness about it all when no one is around???"

 

The point is that you don't HAVE to act terribly. You don't have to scream and yell and put mental blocks in place. You just don't have to.

 

I like the other suggestion about locking oneself in a room.

 

... that hormonal?"

 

Sure! I think there was some Martian mind control there too. Hell, if there is an excuse I can give you that gets me 100% off the hook every time, then I'll use it every time I can.

[TANKGRL]

it DOES work for you. it DOESN'T work for me. You think I feel like this and I wouldn't have tried everything in the book to feel better???? of course I have!

 

If you don't mind me asking....

 

What have you tried??

 

I'd really would like to know what does work and does... just in case someday if my period or pms ever became unbearable.

 

I tried Cyclesa (BC... not sure of spelling). It was good it ended up with me only have a 4 to 5 days period and it also aided in weight lose. I also tried Ortho Tri Cyclin Lo... I hated that one lol.

[seaneKY]

Thanks for that, seaneKY. I am talking about attitudes. In the middle ages there were all sorts of spooky beliefs about menstruation. Including that a menstruating woman should not be allowed in the dairy because she would curdle milk. And that her 'issue' was unclean. And that women were, in the words of the church father Tertullian, 'the devil's doorway'.

 

I'm pointing out we are not there now. Comprende?

 

Fair enough

[TANKGRL]

No women here has discounted that PMS or severe PMS does not exist, just that is not an excuse to treat others poorly or say, "well I am a woman, so you need to deal with it..." Severe or not, I feel it is a women's responsibility to be proactive about her reproductive health.

 

I COMPLETELY agree!!

[Cimmie]

Obviously, the reason this thread is so acrimonious is that we are all on the rag.

 

 

[TANKGRL]

haha not me

[CarnelianButterfly]

... you a woman? do you know what it's like??? NO! then why are you even talking about it like you know."

 

This is EXACTLY MY POINT.

 

You are all discounting blueballs like it doesn't exist. Well are you a man? Do you know what its like? NO! Then why are you even talking about it like you know?

My boyfriend says its a crap. He says its an immature boy whining because he can't get laid. Its all a lie invented to make the boys lack of sex seem important, when its not.

 

Unlike PMS, blue balls is unproven. There is no medical support or reasoning. PMS is a known fact and is a medication condition for many women that have severe problems because of chemical imbalances.

 

Would you also say all people with depression are faking that too? Its a very similar postion to PMS, the chemicals involved aren't all the same, but it still causes behavioral changes.

[TheFoglifter]

I think I heard that Corn Flakes have an ingredient in them that can ease the suffering.

[kellbell]

LOL not me, just ended for me last week. LOL :splat:

[TANKGRL]

link removed

 

Do you know the connection between blue balls and sex? Have you ever heard someone ask you, "What are blue balls?" "Blue balls" is a slang term referring to testicular aching that may occur when the blood that fills the vessels in a male's genital area during sexual arousal is not dissipated by orgasm.

 

When a man becomes sexually excited, the arteries carrying blood to the genital area enlarge, while the veins carrying blood from the genital area are more constricted than in the non-aroused state.

 

This uneven blood flow causes an increase in volume of blood trapped in the genitals and contributes to the penis becoming erect and the testicles becoming engorged with blood. During this process of vasocongestion the testicles increase in size 25-50 percent.

 

If the male reaches orgasm and ejaculates, the arteries and veins return to their normal size, the volume of blood in the genitals is reduced and the penis and testicles return to their usual size rather quickly.

 

If ejaculation does not occur there may be a lingering sensation of heaviness, aching, or discomfort in the testicles due to the continued vasocongestion. This unpleasant feeling has popularly been called blue balls, perhaps because of the bluish tint that appears when blood engorges the vessels in the testicles...

 

 

According to this article IT does exist. My boyfriend has had it happen before... before he was with me. He said it's just an ache.

[TheFoglifter]

... PMS, blue balls is unproven."

 

So when people thought the earth was flat, they were correct because it was unproven?

 

... is a known fact and is a medication condition for many women that have severe problems because of chemical imbalances."

 

I KNOW it exists, that isn't what is in dispute here. What is in dispute is that it is not a blanket justification to act like a monster. You can't have it both ways. If you want to say blueballs isn't that bad because you haven't experienced it, then you can't argue when someone says PMS "isn't that bad" because they haven't had it.

[CarnelianButterfly]

... PMS, blue balls is unproven."

 

So when people thought the earth was flat, they were correct because it was unproven?

 

... is a known fact and is a medication condition for many women that have severe problems because of chemical imbalances."

 

I KNOW it exists, that isn't what is in dispute here. What is in dispute is that it is not a blanket justification to act like a monster. You can't have it both ways. If you want to say blueballs isn't that bad because you haven't experienced it, then you can't argue when someone says PMS "isn't that bad" because they haven't had it.

People think the earth is sphere now, they're still wrong, its actually an ellipsoid.

 

You're balls ache, you can fix that real easy.

 

Your ovaries don't produce or over produce estrogen there is no quick fix, so even if blue balls happen, its not going to be on the scale of constant issues with your health. You don't vomit or double over in pain when your denied sexually.

[TheFoglifter]

... balls ache, you can fix that real easy."

 

Thats my gf's job. She already has an excuse to escape it one week per month.

 

... don't vomit or double over in pain when your denied sexually."

 

I do at some of the excuses. "I'm not in the mood" bleeeeeeecccccccch.

 

Look if you are really in that much pain, what have you gotten in the way of medical advice? I think the other females are right to suggest things which have worked for them, and there is no need to lash out with that "good for you" stuff.

 

Besides, you asked for GUYS opinions! You explicitly asked what its like for a guy. Well we guys, as the recipients of PMS related behaviors are telling you what it feels like.

[Miss Firecracker]

"but picking fights and saying its PMS is an immature excuse"

 

No it's not. It is compleatly legitimate. Medically. just because you don't understand it, don't say it isn't legit.

 

It's the same with any sort of behavioral disorder, and I guess there will always be people who will discount it when you tell them you are unable to help this.

 

People would rather pretend these things don't exist so they know it can't happen to them or their loved ones. It's human nature to deny things like this.

 

It's hard enough to have a disorder, but it's even worse to be told that you are making it up.

[gobbledegook]

I've never been close to a woman that gets really bad at that time. AS long as I'm warned, I just no to tread lightly for the next week and everything will be okay.

[Honey Pumpkin]

I get dreadful PMS - really really awful, I hate it. I write in my diary when I'm going to get it, but it's like my mood plummets, and I stop being tolerant. I do control it, but because I'm usually pretty easy-going and tolerant, I find it unbearable. It's hard to describe, and I try really really hard to keep it to myself, but it's awful. Like losing a layer of skin or something, and everything can get to me. I think it's got worse as I've got older - maybe my body's way of saying: "you should have had a baby by now"?

 

I know that the exercise/no caffeine thing helps, but it is really hard to cope with, and I do feel sorry for the bloke I'm seeing because I get so sensitive and less 'me'.

[DN]

First of all - this thread is about PMS not whether blue balls exists and the thread is getting derailed by a pointless comparison.

 

Second: I think there is a danger for women to say that PMS is uncontrollable and that women who suffer for it should not be expected to control themselves during that time. For centuries, women were held back from responsible positions because they were considered to be emotionally unstable or unreliable particularly during their periods, during and immediately after childbirth or during menopause. Descriptions of PMS that essentially concede that argument don't help women.

 

Here is a test: if you are suffering from PMS and you treat your partner badly (being rude or abusive) and say that you can't control it and he should understand, would you say the same thing about colleagues at work if you were to act like that - particularly your boss? Or would you control it knowing that you could lose your job, or not be considered for promotion because of it.

 

And if you can control it sometimes - why not when with your SO.?I take it that no one would justify being rude or abusive to an SO simply because of a medical condition?

 

No reasonable or caring person would be unsympathetic to someone suffering from any debilitating illness or condition but that does not excuse using them as an outlet for frustrations or as an emotional or physical punching bag.

[TheFoglifter]

... think there is a danger for women to say that PMS is uncontrollable and that women who suffer for it should not be expected to control themselves during that time."

 

Well said!

 

... is a test: if you are suffering from PMS and you treat your partner badly (being rude or abusive) and say that you can't control it and he should understand, would you say the same thing about colleagues at work if you were to act like that - particularly your boss? Or would you control it knowing that you could lose your job, or not be considered for promotion because of it."

 

I was going to ask the similar question earlier, but I went with the "friend killed" example. Its a valid point though -- would you tell your boss that she was a blithering insipid moron?

 

Or even better, if your [female] boss flew off the handle at YOU, and then said she couldn't control herself, would you let it go, or would you have your union rep get her fired?

[kellbell]

"particularly your boss? Or would you control it knowing that you could lose your job, or not be considered for promotion because of it."

 

Excellent, excellent example or scenario DN. It is so true.

[Krystal_Ivy]

If you don't mind me asking....

 

What have you tried??

 

I'd really would like to know what does work and does... just in case someday if my period or pms ever became unbearable.

 

I tried Cyclesa (BC... not sure of spelling). It was good it ended up with me only have a 4 to 5 days period and it also aided in weight lose. I also tried Ortho Tri Cyclin Lo... I hated that one lol.

I've tried constant excersise, eating healthy, primrose oil, prozac, and birth control.

[Krystal_Ivy]

My boyfriend says its a crap. He says its an immature boy whining because he can't get laid. Its all a lie invented to make the boys lack of sex seem important, when its not.

 

Unlike PMS, blue balls is unproven. There is no medical support or reasoning. PMS is a known fact and is a medication condition for many women that have severe problems because of chemical imbalances.

 

Would you also say all people with depression are faking that too? Its a very similar postion to PMS, the chemicals involved aren't all the same, but it still causes behavioral changes.

Very true.