Question for guys about PMS

[Krystal_Ivy]

Hello men. Well I posted yesterday about how we females can become monsters during PMS. I was wondering what it's like from a guys perspective? Do you guys relaize that it's not really us? do you take it personally? or do you understand? how is it for YOU do deal with? just want to hear your point of views.

[PocoDiablo]

So long as you're not rude to me, it's no big deal. If you are, I'll point out that you're being rude. Being in a bad place is no excuse for rudeness, and everyone can control that.

[TheFoglifter]

... was wondering what it's like from a guys perspective? Do you guys relaize that it's not really us? do you take it personally? or do you understand? how is it for YOU do deal with? just want to hear your point of views."

 

This depends on the girl, so I'll give you my experience.

 

From a guy's perspective, Blueballs is the male equivalent. If you are one of those girls who believes that blueballs don't exist, then expect your guy to tell you that you are are just exaggerating during your period and should suck it up.

 

I understand that it can seem like a stranger is in control of your body, and that you are in a lot of pain, and hormonal and all that, but when you go over the top with rage, "hormones" is no more an excuse for it than "I was drunk and didn't know what I was doing" is.

 

Quite frankly, by the age of say 25, you have had over 150 periods (assuming 1/month since age 12). When you do something 150 times, you have a pretty good idea of what is involved, and how to handle it.

 

I sympathize that you are in pain, and that some are worse than others, but If you are going to tell me "I can't control it" when you blow up at me because CVS ran out of mint milanos, then I'm going to tell you "I cant control it" the next time I'm staring at your hot friend's cleavage.

 

I track my gf's period so I know approximately when the danger zone is. There is no way I would plan a special vacation or other major event during that time if I can help it.

[Krystal_Ivy]

POCODIABLO:

not true. There are times when we CAN'T control being rude. Honestly, that's the last thing I want to do to my boyfriend, but I still do. I guess there will never be a way for men to understand what we go through because you don't go through it. It actually screws with you mentally/emotionally. It's not that we choose to ever be rude.

[Cimmie]

I HATE the perpetuation of this notion that women are irrational 'monsters' at that time of the month. That is complete nonsense. It's like having flu for a couple of days (OK I used to vomit and pass out with pain so occasionally it can be worse)...if it's that bad take prescription painkillers or a day off work. No biggie. It's one of those things women have to put up with, like childbirth.

 

And in no way does it resemble blue balls, which have a fairly clear method of alleviation.

 

As for the mood swings: yes it can lead to bad temper and depression, but it's best to steer clear of triggers during that time.

 

Women are NOT irrational monsters or slaves to their hormones. It's misogynistic to say they are. We're no longer in the Dark Ages (I hope).

[seaneKY]

I HATE the perpetuation of this notion that women are irrational 'monsters' at that time of the month. That is complete nonsense. It's like having flu for a couple of days (OK I used to vomit and pass out with pain so occasionally it can be worse)...if it's that bad take prescription painkillers or a day off work. No biggie. It's one of those things women have to put up with, like childbirth.

 

And in no way does it resemble blue balls, which have a fairly clear method of alleviation.

 

As for the mood swings: yes it can lead to bad temper and depression, but it's best to steer clear of triggers during that time.

 

Women are NOT irrational monsters or slaves to their hormones. It's misogynistic to say they are. We're no longer in the Dark Ages (I hope).

 

 

Not slaves but they can be real JERKS!! What does the dark ages have to do with anything except for the fact that if a woman was rude to her husband then he would knock her head off? I mean really thats not a very good way to get your point accross.

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

I am very fortunate (and so is my boyfriend) that I do not suffer as bad. I can get a little cranky but it varies from month to month. I tend to get VERY domesticated (cooking, clean, baking, doing laundry) around my period and my boyfriend will point it out. It is kind of funny.

 

If I get a bit cranky, my boyfriend will point it out and look at the calendar. He keeps track too. LOL But it is not bad and I am so thankful for that.

[veryunhappy12day]

While it's true that in most cases, and maybe even for most women, they are not "slaves to their hormones" there are times for some women when hormones are so out of control that they can't control themselves. It's literally like they lose their minds/go crazy for a while because the hormones are messing with them so badly.

 

If you haven't experienced it it's almost impossible to explain it to you, whether you are a man or a woman.

[fnlyfrei]

POCODIABLO:

not true. There are times when we CAN'T control being rude. Honestly, that's the last thing I want to do to my boyfriend, but I still do. I guess there will never be a way for men to understand what we go through because you don't go through it. It actually screws with you mentally/emotionally. It's not that we choose to ever be rude.

 

I feel that it's very hard to control too...I actually asked my fiance' to stay away from me for two weeks. Did he listen? Nope. So, yes I realize I feel that way, and short of drinking a bottle of wine every four hours...I know I am not very much fun to be around. I know there are very real physiological reasons for all of this, but the only thing that seems to work for me is to get to the gym and eat VERY healthy foods. Then it isn't so pronounced. I don't like the way it affects my life either...or how I think and feel. Hence, I DID ask him to keep a distance. I think now he will heed my future warnings though...or bring a bottle of wine..

[Cimmie]

Not slaves but they can be real JERKS!! What does the dark ages have to do with anything except for the fact that if a woman was rude to her husband then he would knock her head off? I mean really thats not a very good way to get your point accross.

 

Thanks for that, seaneKY. I am talking about attitudes. In the middle ages there were all sorts of spooky beliefs about menstruation. Including that a menstruating woman should not be allowed in the dairy because she would curdle milk. And that her 'issue' was unclean. And that women were, in the words of the church father Tertullian, 'the devil's doorway'.

 

I'm pointing out we are not there now. Comprende?

[kellbell]

I do not think of me being a "slave to my hormones." I love being a woman so I do not see it as a curse or doom, it is part of life.

 

My periods are clock-work, they come almost to the hour every month (thanks to birth control) so I can prepare. I exercise (REALLY helps with the cramps and the crabbies), I cut back on soda and high sodium foods and drink a lot of water.

 

It is my strong belief there is a very small percentage of women whom TRULY suffer from PMS, I mean really really bad. I am sure others will disagree.

[adahy]

My present GF has it bad. Sometimes I feel like it's an excuse for her to be a b@#ch. I try to keep my mouth shut and/or stay out of her way, although no matter what I do it is the incorrect response. All in all though, it's better than other women I've dated w/ various forms of depression, narcissism, or other forms of mental and emotional instability. I'm not one that enjoys arguing w/ my significant other (especially for no reason), so I do take it personally sometimes. I always attempt to treat her w/ respect and go out of my way for her, so when she's in one of her moods (whatever the source) it really pushes me toward the door. I don't deserve that. She typically apologizes later for her "pms", but it wears really thin.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I HATE the perpetuation of this notion that women are irrational 'monsters' at that time of the month. That is complete nonsense. It's like having flu for a couple of days (OK I used to vomit and pass out with pain so occasionally it can be worse)...if it's that bad take prescription painkillers or a day off work. No biggie. It's one of those things women have to put up with, like childbirth.

 

And in no way does it resemble blue balls, which have a fairly clear method of alleviation.

 

As for the mood swings: yes it can lead to bad temper and depression, but it's best to steer clear of triggers during that time.

 

Women are NOT irrational monsters or slaves to their hormones. It's misogynistic to say they are. We're no longer in the Dark Ages (I hope).

I agree.

 

Pain and suffering causing severe symptoms aside, blaming hormones for everything is not right. There is a degree of crabiness, but picking fights and saying its PMS is an immature excuse.

 

The blue balls thing is crap, thats a teenagers attempt at guilting girls into dropping their pants. If you can't handle yourself, hint hint, then don't expect others to do it for you.

[Krystal_Ivy]

"but If you are going to tell me "I can't control it" when you blow up at me because CVS ran out of mint milanos, then I'm going to tell you "I cant control it" the next time I'm staring at your hot friend's cleavage."

 

 

I think that's really mean. You checking out a girls cleavage is NOT a mental/emotional issue that you can't help. PMS IS! even ask a doctor. I really wish you were more understanding for your girlfriends sake. It is NOT a choice for us.

[Krystal_Ivy]

Women are NOT irrational monsters or slaves to their hormones. It's misogynistic to say they are. We're no longer in the Dark Ages (I hope).

 

 

Actually some women are. that's why they make medication for PMDD now. I perosnally am a slave to it and suffer badly. I'm glad you don't. but it doesn't mean all women don't.

[TANKGRL]

I understand that sometimes some woman have it very bad, my mother had to have a hysterectomy because of her problems.

 

I myself never get cramps or get mood swings. You'd never know what I was on that time of the month or not. My Boyfriend thanks God that he got a lucky and I don't suffer from Wood swings. I may once in a great while suffer from cramps but then I have a Pamprin and pass out lol.

 

My sister growing up ALWAYS got very bad tempers and was very rude and * * * * *y to everyone. My dad use to say, "Lock yourself in your room and don't come out for a week!"

 

My cousin use to puke, pass out and cry all the time, she had horrible cramps and bleeding.

 

I guess it just varies for each woman.

 

It is ALSO DIFFERENT every month so there is NO getting use to it!

 

Some weeks I bleed for 5 days with no cramps. Sometimes my period lasts for 9 days and I have awful hot flashes and lose my appetite and pretty much my interest in anything else goes down the drain. I've never experienced the mood swings... but there are some girls who do get them and BAD!

[Krystal_Ivy]

While it's true that in most cases, and maybe even for most women, they are not "slaves to their hormones" there are times for some women when hormones are so out of control that they can't control themselves. It's literally like they lose their minds/go crazy for a while because the hormones are messing with them so badly.

 

If you haven't experienced it it's almost impossible to explain it to you, whether you are a man or a woman.

thank you!

[kellbell]

"It is NOT a choice for us."

 

I agree with this to some extent. On one hand, we cannot control that we are women and we have our periods. And hormones can get out of whack, causing some mood swings, discomfort, and the crabbies.

 

BUT

 

Most women (not all) have pretty regular cycles so she can have a pretty good idea when it is coming. So, in that sense, she can prepare. Like go out and excerise, eat a sensible diet, taking pain killers (for the physical side effects of PMS). That can keep the crabbies and the yucky feelings to a minimum.

 

I have to say, I cringe when I women use that "well, I am PMS'ing..." as a reason to treats other poorly on a consistant basis (i.e. every month). There are some measures to take to keep symptoms in check and make it more bearable for the woman and those around her.

[Krystal_Ivy]

thank you!

"but picking fights and saying its PMS is an immature excuse"

 

No it's not. It is compleatly legitimate. Medically. just because you don't understand it, don't say it isn't legit.

[Krystal_Ivy]

that's nice for those women. But my period comes at compleatly different times every month so there is NO planning. Also, when it's really bad. excersise and dieting has no effect. It's an extreme hormonal issue.

[fnlyfrei]

I had to look up misogyny (duh) but the perfect word for anyone who tries to compare something they obviously do not understand with looking at someones cleavage.

 

Actually, when I feel bloated and disgusting and ugly, the best thing for my SO to do is ogle another woman in front of me. I say, wait until you are alone to drool over someones cleavage. Leave me alone with the mint milanos and a bottle of wine. I won't miss you !

[RayKay]

While there are indeed woman whom do suffer severe PMDD or PMS, there are so many ways to minimize the effects - including prescriptions (be it the birth control pill, or even some with severe symptoms have found relief with Prozac), along with proper diet (minimize sugar, salts & caffeine) and exercise that I still do not think it is an excuse to blame hormones for bad behaviour. If one knows they suffer it severely, they need to talk to their doctor about some options.

 

The amount whom suffer the extreme PMDD is quite rare. I see so many more whom do blame their attitude and disrespect on their hormones/PMS.

 

I argue that PMS IS a mental/emotional issue that you CAN indeed help, even if it is hormone related. You may not be able to rid it completely, but there are ways to minimize how you act. Even if it is something simple like telling yourself when you feel yourself ready to snap at your partner, you take a 20 minute "breather" and take a walk around the block to think whether you are really angry at HIM or you are cranky because you feel crappy.

 

I don't have extreme PMS...I may get a little more cranky and more sensitive because my hormones are jumping (but I actually tend to enter a "cling-on phase" where I feel clingier!) but I definitely don't snap at my partner, pick fights and so forth. My sister has it worse and was a total crank-fest around then and difficult to live with...but she has gotten far better in the last few years!

 

I just don't think whatever kind of pain you are in, or emotional crisis, it is EVER fair or right to pick fights and take it out on your partner. I mean I know a couple woman whom have severe endometeriosis and are in pain every single day, miserable and always having "PMS" symptoms...yet are friendly, respectful and fun to be around!

 

I don't think it is fair that partners should be expected to just "deal with it/live with it".

[TANKGRL]

I have to agree PMS has become an excuse just to be rude and crabbie to some extent. It's sad that some women play it off like that.

 

It should NOT be use as an excuse.

 

There is all kinds of medications to help with he side effects of PMS like BC or Pamprin and Midol... I also and SURE that if you had it bad enough a doctor could prescribe you something for relief.

[swtbtrflydreams]

My boyfriend and I are very lucky that I do not get the mood swings I am in no way mean or ugly. The only reason I get mean is because we dont have sex while Im on my period then I get sexually frustrated. That is the only reason I get moody!

[kellbell]

"That's nice for those women. But my period comes at compleatly different times every month so there is NO planning. Also, when it's really bad. excersise and dieting has no effect. It's an extreme hormonal issue."

 

Well, in that sense, perhaps seeing a doctor will help with your cycles being on a fairly regular basis. And I know of some women whom have to take medication to help with the "extreme hormonal issue."

 

I still think women can more proactive about their reproductive health instead of saying, "well, we cannot help it... we are woman, so deal with it..." Just my thoughts.