bowski

I have written a few times about my ex girlfriend of a year ago who lives a few hours away from me and all the trouble i had getting over. We broke up last March after dating for almost 3 years and just started talking again in NOvember. We have seen each other a few times since then but its always like she is cold to me and nothign more. so this past weekend i had a party and she came in from out of town to it. Very strange but she broke down crying later in the night and telling me how much she misses me and us. And is huggin and kissing me all ngiht. Granted she was drunk but the next morning when we were sober she is all over me again. This being the same girl who had been so cold to me sinsce we started talking again. Dont know where im going with this or where she is but we left off with saying she woudl come down to my apartment again in a few weeks. Felt kinda good to get this out of her after all this time. im not geting ahead of myself because i havent heard from her since she left sunday and am just leaving everything in her court. ive told her since we started talking aagain how i felt and she would always blow me off. now its up to her to see what she wants and does. Just thought id share with you guys that sometimes even the coldest person admits things a year later. Dont know what will happen but i guess it proives the old theory that everyone realizes what they had at some point. My thinking is it will just be another dead end so i have no expectations but if something happens so be it. For those of you who never think u will hear something like this from your ex i thought the same thing. i guess i just wantd to say that sometimes it does happen.

Well i dont know how long she has been single. We have never talked about it before and I dont want to know. We have been apart since last march and reconnected in November. i have to admit the 3 times i have seen her i have acted into her 2 times. the one time i didnt i could tell she was real into me. The last time i saw her though she was so cold to me that i said forget it. This was 3 weeks ago and since then she has called me 3 times. Once on my cell which i didnt return and 2 times on my work phone which i hvae no called id on. She called me the day after valentines too. Its always small talk but now Ive decided to be sort of aloof because since we have started talking again me telling how I feel has gotten me nowhere. I honestly think the best thing i can do is act disinterested because then either she will get scared and think she hsa to do something to get me or she will stop trying to talk to me because she isnt interested in the first place. Something keeps her calling me though. I have been the one to make the plans to see each other but now its on her. Something keeps her calling me though once every 10 days or so.

This was the first time we saw each other. Since then she has still called me like once a week. People tell me that it seems like she is afraid to lose me but doesnt want to make any sort of commitment to me. Is there anyway I can change this behavior? I find it strange that she calls me every 10 days or so when over the summer there was nothing. I honestly dont call her at all and have begun the last 2 times she has called to act aloof and not tell her much. I just think acting disinterested is my best bet because showing her that i am into her has gotten me nowhere since we started talking again. Its like she like the thought of me waiting around.

I dont want to be too long winded but here goes. Ex i date for almost 3 years dumped me about 11 months ago. We had gone to college together and had broken up when i moved back home and she was still in college. We live about 3 hours away, but i wondered what was going on with her and it devastated me. Found out she had another boyfriend from someone during the summer. She would instant messgae me once a month or so during this time just small talk. Finally in November i wrote her a letter letting her know i missed her and wanted to talk. She called me back a week later and I drove the 3 hours to meet her for lunch. I was weird and finally I just told her everything how i missed her and stuff. After this we have been talking like once a week or so just small talk and her calling me. We have seen each other 2 other times since then. One time she was all standoffish and again i gave her the sob story to her face and she cried and started making out with me. After this she left and it was the same old small talk on the phone. i saw her about 3 weeks ago and this time when we went to the movies and had lunch she acted almost like she didnt want to be there and wouldnt come close to me during the movie. After this i said to myself forget it its not worth it. Since then she has called me 3 times and just small talk. Since the last time i saw her i decided Im not going to be as cold as ice to her because im sick of her basically using me for comfort but giving me nothing in return. I just find it odd that she calls me once a week or so but doesnt express feelings for me and acts like nothing happened in the past. I know she is single now but besides the time we kissed a month ago she has given me no reason to think she wants more. Basically my question is she just stringing me along. i noticed the few times we have seen each other she is more into me when i act like i dont care. Basically i think i she is just getting her cake and eating it too. I have told her all i can say and i feel she just uses me to make herself feel good. So now if she calls I plan on cutting it short and being less available. I just dont see her reasoning or how i can get her to change her behavoir.

I think that the person who did the dumping should always make the move. If they really want to be back with you, they will make their intentions known. If you try and pursue them they are more inclined to pull away even more. Only time will tell what the outcome will be but you have to give them time to figure out what they want and time for you to help yourself and become a stronger person. Maybe over time they will miss you maybe not, but at least give them time to.

You are right.... She is still in college and will be leaving there real soon and then maybe things will change. She really is a different person right now though and feels free, i think alot of this has to do with being the last few weeks of college before the real world sets in. Her feelings for me have changed over the months and i think maybe a little has to do with the college thing. I am not going to contact her or anything over the summer, and if she does contact me then so be it. She knows the ball is in her court and if she wants to start some sort of contact with me she can. I know its bad but i read her away messages on instant messenger everyday and they are all about partying and hooking up so i dont know what the deal is. She seems like a different person, i dont know if things will change once she calms down over the summer or if this is the person she is now. Only time will tell but I just wish there was some point where she missed me and wanted to hang out or something and we could take it from there. We live 2 hours away from each other so I dont know if she will ever get the urge to see me.

i think u have to give it a lot of time. the longer the relatinoship the longer it will take if they are going to come back. i would say put it in the back of ur mind but realize that it will take months if something is going to happen. thats what i tell myself at least . Waiting is the worst thing but its the only way. Ive been doing this for 5 weeks and havent seen any progrss. my birthday was 2 days ago and she just imed me happy birthday not even a phone call. dont know how to take it. if u wait it out two things will happen, they might come back but if they dont u will be over them more. sorry if i dont sound too optimistic but im going throuhg the same thing and i havent had any reason to be.

i just say wait it out as much as possible thats the only thing you can do. As hard as it is to do and as much as it sucks thats what u have to do.

Well I share the same hope as you with hoping they realize what they lost. My girlfriend left me after almost 3 years about 5 weeks ago because she was no longer in love with me for a few months prior to breaking up. All i can say is that it is our only hope that they realizethis. I think the more we call them and the more we bother them the farther it pushes them away.

thanks but im at the stage where i really dont want her to be my friend, i just want her to in love with me. is it possible to get someone to love you in that way again just by doing the no contact and hoping they realize they miss you and realize the good times you had together? Maybe we have just turned into different people and drifted apart. She told me she broke up with me in her mind a few months ago but for some reason i hold out hope things will change once she is home and away from the college atmosphere and realizes she graduated. Might just be me being foolish thouhg

I have posted my story a few times over the past 5 weeks for various reasons but am still bothered by that line. I received it from my girlfriend after her being not intimate and not in love with me for 5 months before she broke up with me. This after being together for almost 3 years. I just wonder if it is possible for someone to get feelings back for you when they live 3 hours away from you and you never have the chance to see them? My ex is graduating from college and from what ive gathered from friends (we went to the same college) is partying liek never before and acting very different from the person she used to be. I hold out hope that her being away from college will make her realize how in love she once was with me but i fear that i pushed her away with all my smothering and jealous behavior. Just had to get some feelings out there because its been a bad week.

I wish I knew the answer to your question. I think in your case you are lucky that they were still sexually attracted to you. That is a good sign because there is some sort of attraction there. In my case my ex hadnt been sexually attracted to me for months before we broke up because i had been been so needy and pushing her away and not the same person i had been in the past. I think the best thing to do in these situations is to leave them alone and let them figure things out on their own. Callign them and trying to initiate contact isnt going to help. They might never get those feeligns back but at least give them the chance to. I honestlty dont know if it is possible for someone to fall basck in love with you or realize how much they loved you after being a part but its worth a try

I know how u feel i got the same exact thing from my ex before she broke up with me . She had been cold and distant from me for months before we broke up and told me that she never felt like she wanted to be intimate with me or have sex with me. When she broke up with me she basically told me that I was just like another friend to her. This after almost 3 years together. I wonder if by giving someone space and letting them miss you, then can get that in love feeling back or do you people think once its gone its gone forever?

I wouldnt contact her at all until she contacts you. She is the one that dumped you and if she wants to talk to you bad enough she will call you. Wouldnt you rather talk to her knowing that she wanted to talk then u calling her and talking when she doesnt. Dont worry about her forgetting you because if she does after a few months of no contact than she isnt the kinda person you want to be with. I say ride it out and give it another month. If by then she still hasnt contacted then maybe you should start the calling. Give it some more time as hard as that sounds.

Yeah you are right......im basically getting to the point now where I am going on with my life and if she enters back into it then fine but if not so be it. I am sick of wondering about the what ifs about the situation and everything else. I kept thinking that maybe when she graduates from college and is removed from the party atmosphere things will sink in and she will realize she misses me but whatever its not in my control and there is no use worrying about it (althouhg i will from time to time). If she makes a move then i will have to see how i feel. I guess i have come to the realization that she fell out of love with me and there really is no way to fall back in love with someone when u never see them. Missing me and thinking about me isnt going to bring those feelings back from her.