sydsmami

You are now no different that your "friend". I am so happy that Disney babysitted this woman's poor children so the two of you could make love over and over again. I really think you are using this forum to boast about your conquests that to really get any advice, or even consider any of it. This won't end happily ever after. I just wish adults would remember that they are the adults and the decisions they make shape and make children who they are going to be. Poor babies. [-X

Exquisite...wish I had the true gift of words that you do...I feel lots of those things, but have lots of trouble getting them out...Hurrah! sydsmami

It is not uncommon for this type of thing to happen, especially since you are in a good, stable relationship. You are excited to get this email since it make you have the butterflies again that your current bf doesn't give you. But should your ex even have your current email addie or is it that you haven't really given yourself completely to your current bf? The sizzle you have when you first are with someone new doesn't last forever, but you have to decide if you want butterflies all the time, or a good solid relationship with someone worth being with. Isn't there always a good reason than an ex is an ex?

I understand that you have developed feelings for this woman, but come on...she knows or she will soon. You want to tell her so she'll come to you, but rebound romance doesn't usually last. I would hate to be in your position, because I know that if you have intense feelings for her you hate it that she is being made a fool of. There are more people here to think about other than your "friend", yourself and this woman. Think of her children who I am sure don't know a thing about the dynamics of what is going on here. All they'll know is that their mommy is sad, their dad has moved out and they'll be the ones to suffer. Kerry 0X

Hi. I thought that maybe me replying was not such a good idea, because I've been on the other side of your situation. I left my husband because he wasn't paying attention to me, not listening, and chosing his teenage brother (who lived with us at the time) over me. To make a long story short, this kid was running up phone bills, internet surcharges, ordering things online with our checking acct. and credit cards and my husband did nothing about it. He allowed him to have girls PLURAL overnight while he was at work on graveyard shift and I had to go to bed early every night to work early in the morning, but was usually tired from all the noise and commotion that 17 yr olds can cause when they're unsupervised. I would try to put my foot down, but I would get doors slammed in my face, locked or called names. When I left, I dated someone from my past. It wasn't the same. Sometimes you think that somehow since it's been a while people change or they can fill the holes that a new relationship has. But it just never does. He dated too, but not anyone he had known in the past, just women he would meet. We were separated for two months, but I still consider it cheating on both our parts. We still even slept together while we were separated. It was a mess. This ex of mine hit me and cheated on me over and over again when we were together. But in my mind, there is still something almost mythological about him. We were each other's firsts, first partner and first boyfriend/girlfriend. Our relationship started in the 9th grade. It lasted until I was a junior in college. The physical violence didn't start until we were in our early 20's. But from that I learned that if you want to get your point accross, you knock someone's head off. I even tried that in my current marriage. Thank God I never had a child with my ex. I can't imagine having that kind of connection with him my entire life. It's too volitile. Your wife may be sorry now, she may have cried all night, but I've done that too. I still can't say I'm sorry. The affair served a purpose for me. Maybe it did for her too. Maybe she realized how horrible he really is. But human nature is to cover your rear end until you are caught. Some people are more honest than others, your wife was like a deer caught in headlights. You should trust yourself since you knew all along that something was going on. You'll know if staying in the realtionship is worth it. Just make sure you don't make any decisions about bringing more children into the relationship until you're sure you can trust her more. Believe me the bond that you share with someone that you have children with is very strong. It doesn't always stay so fresh for ever but it will make going back to them easier. I know this wasn't much help, but it's all I have to give. Vaya Con Dios Kerry

I have daydream that I keep when I am having a really bad day in my marriage. I sit back and think of the relationship I started at 15 and ended in heartbreak and depression in my early 20's. To this day the man makes my teeth sweat. He is married now also. I have stayed in touch with him my entire marriage and that is a source of shame for me, but I seem to always find out what is going on with him and even if we lose touch, there are always people we knew in the past that can fill us in on how the other is doing. But we broke up for a reason. He hit really hard. He drank more than he ate and we fought harder that we made up. He's the one in the back of my head and in my dreams and that's a good enough place for him.

I have been married for 6 years to someone who is from a different cultural background than me. For a long time I thought that none of that would matter in the scheme of things in our marriage. We have had problems even before we were married, but they always seemed to work themselves out. Now I find myself the mother of a 3 yr old daughter and pregnant with our second, due in June. I can't seem to find love, compassion, trust or passion for this man I married a short time ago. I don't even want him to touch me. Just tonight he told me that I had better learn how to or someone else will. I haven't worked since our 3 yr old was born because of a decision of my own to raise my children until it was time for them to go to school. This has caused problems for us because he doesn't feel that he should be the sole "bread winner". We split up before our 3 yr old was born and we both dated people but he is the one that always brings that up. I have forgotten about it. We are together and thats all that mattered to me at the time. He'll bring it up at least once a month. Since I haven't had a job in over 3 yrs. I don't have much of a chance to care financially for my two children if I leave him. We are stable with money and live in a nice town, nice suburb, nice school systems and a really great community. If I leave I will have to move home to my parent's house in a small town with nothing going for it, horrible school district and no jobs. I won't have a car, a in basically. So for the longest time I've stayed. He talks down to me all the time. Nothing I do is right. Everything wrong in his life is my fault. I have been throught some relationships in the past where passion never died, I just got tired of being cheated on. I just can't make up my mind to stay here for the kids sake until they are grown and miss out on my own happiness or stay work it out and see if passion and love returns. I'm all for counselling, but he says no one is going to tell him how to live his life or handle his wife. HELP ME!!! sydsmami