Phoenix_girl

I have a weird fear of balloons. Don't ask why because i have no idea. I just can't stand being around them. My coworkers know it, and take great pleasure torturing me with a balloon. I'm also freak out if i know an alarm is gonna go off - like a fire drill or security alarm. If it goes off without any warning, then im fine. But like in the building i live in they annouce the monthly testing of the fire alarm with flyers put up announcing the day and time. I can't handle being in the building - i have a full out anxiety attack. I've had this fear since kindergarten and am now 22. I also don't like small spaces i can't get out off (if i can get out im fine) and elevators if they do something funny then i will get a little scared - if it stops then it becomes a small space i cant get out of and i have a panic attack. And of course theres the fear or creepy crawlies - spiders and snakes. I had a big boa wrap its self around me on a school trip when i was 5 - never again will i get near a snake.

its hard. I went through my own little life crisis recently so i can kind of relate to him, but hes also very private about his feelings, so he would never come right out and say what he was feeling. i know i can't really help him, i just......i guess i just want to know if i'll ever get my best friend back

He is [was] also my best friend.

if hes changing its for the worse. he used to be full of life and happy and always laughing.....now everything is "meh' to him and he jsut doesnt seem to care anymore. and in Nov his brother apprently took quite ill so im worried about him....truth is i havent talked to him since the end of nov.

Is it possible for guys in like their mid to late 20s to go through an early midlife crisis? My ex and i stayed relatively close, but in like the past year or so ive seen signs of depression and he's been really moody. Does seem to take pleasure in anything, became really selfish and uncompromising. It's almost like he became the exact opposite of who he was. I've known him since he was 24 and he had wanted to be settled down by the time he was 26.....but as of now hes 27, still lives at home, has a crappy job that doesn't pay much, doesnt have a car of his own. he kept saying he needed to fix his life, clear his head etc. Is he having a mid-life crisis? will he return to his old self once he finds what hes looking for? ](*,)

Thats exactly how i feel newts. My ex hasnt started dating anyone in the time we've been apart and sometimes i think if he moved on and started seeing someone then i would be able to as well. Only time will tell i guess.

It's been 4 months since my bf and I called it completely quits. We were in a realtions for a year, then cooled it to a casual dating thing for 10 months and then ended it in July. He says hes not in love with me, which i have accepted when the relationship ended a year ago. But the problem is......I still love him. I dont know how to shake my feelings for him. Any advice? We are jsut friends now and it is a great friendship. I want to be able to move on and find someone new, but i feel i wont be able to love that person completely as long as i have feelings for my ex.

This may be a silly question, but how do you know if your bi-sexual? or how do you tell true bi-sexuality from mere curiosity?

Well it's been a while since i posted here, but there has been a turn in my life that i wanted some advice. Some of you may have read my posts about my boyfriend that i was on a break with. If not here's a brief synopsis. We dated for a year when he told me that he wanted a break so ge could fix his life. The break has lasted 10 months and through out that time we continued to see each other and stayed close. Now we are officially dating again. But he told me that he doesnt feel like he loves me romatically anymore . I can understand this (after much crying). He told me that he loves me in a best friend way and is willing to try dating again if i am comfortable with it. Over the course of the 10 month break I listened to people tell me to forget about him and my feelings fluctuated. I would ask myself why I was putting up with it and every time i would rediscover what i loved about him and why i love him. I found myself falling in love with him again and again. For him, things were different. He was focused on his life and trying to improve it. He wasnt concerned with dating, relationships and feelings - he didnt even look for a new relationship. He came to see me when he could and we talked as often as possible (roughly everyother day) but what it came down to was his life was about him for the time being. So i can understand how his feelings have......disappeared. We have both changed over the past 10 months. When we first started dating we fell in love within 2 weeks - way to fast. we got caught up in the emotions and the friendship was slow in coming. i had long felt that there was no strong friendship to support our relationship through hard times. But now we have this amazing strong friendship on which to rebuild a relationship (if it works out that way) and i dont want to rush it. My question is how do i keep from rushing into things like i did before? How do i take it slow? P_G PS Since finding out that he doesnt love me, the weight of the uncertainty is gone. even though it was upsetting, it was good to know what ive wanted to know. I feel that it is a new beginning.

Hi, I was wondering something. My bf and I are on a break and we have been for sometime now (i'm not sure what to call him so i still refer to him as bf from time to time). Anyway, the break was his idea and at first i hated the idea but i have come to realize that its giving me a chance to work on my own life, etc etc. He said he needed time to fix his life before he got into anything serious (maybe a deeper committment? I dont know) and he has been struggling to find a new job and get his own place, etc etc. I am 21 yrs old and every one keeps telling me not to waste my time waiting for him to come around. But i dont consider myself waiting for anything. i keep my eyes open, but I havent seen anyone that i feel attracted to or compatible with. I consider my bf to be "the one" and feel committed to him. I asked him if he would be upset if i walked away from "us" and he said that he would be, but didnt want to hold me back if its what i wanted to do. We still see each other when we can (its long distance) and talk at least every other day (when im not working 13 hrs a day and sleeping the rest Most of the people around me know how much my relationship with him has meant to me - the good and the bad. My mother is probably the most vocal and it seems that she is against me being with him, even when she has never met him. He hasnt seen or been with anyone else and neither have I. I guess my question is - Am I being stubborn? Are people right when they tell me to give up? I dont feel ready to just move on. I feel that he and i both are growing and maturing into something more, and I want to stick around for a while and see how things develop. I'll admit, i am stubbirn and because of that i like to get what i want...........but am i wrong to try this time???? And if I'm right to following my heart, then how do i get people to stop making me feel so horrible?

I love to give and i love to receive. My bf was the first guy to go down on me and he absolutly loves it. i actually have to tell him to stop cause i cant take it any more. As for giving i love it, but i still need some guidance.

How do you know when you've found "the one"? Im 20 years old and ive known my bf for over a year (i will admit we are currently on a break, but talk every day). I have long felt like he was the one i want to spend my life with him....but everyone i mention this to tell me im nuts cause im too young and cant possibly know what love is ect. In my heart i feel he is the one.......but is there such a thing as too young? How do you know for sure?

I agree that i just need to go with the flow and not read to much into it. Honestly even when we were together we didnt talk that long so it was a pleasant experiance. It thrilled me when we talked and i have been extremely happy since. He is one of my best friends and i realize that now. im just going to take it one day at a time. P_G

Hi Again, well i have posted here before but let me fill you in. mY bf told me after a year that we need a break. i was shocked. this was 3 weeks ago. in the past few weeks we havent spoken, well very little. Tonight though we talked for over an hour. jsut chatting, but still im thrilled. im not going to get my hopes up, but talking to him tonight felt soo good and i realized that he is one of my very best friends. I did ask if he misses me and he said "some". Is talking to him and the fact that he misses me a good sign that i could get him back??

its official - my infection has returned and i will be starting treatment again (oh joy). I am still undecided about whether i should tell my bf or not. last summer was a bad and pretty lonely and hard time for me and if it wasnt for him i dont know what would have happened. and this time around may be worse What do i do??

well i am definitely learning to be patient. The only reason i messaged him last night was cause i am a dunce with computers and he is a tech-whiz. Anyway, another situation has come up. last summer i was really sick with an infection and my bf was really supportive and really worried about me. If it wasnt for him, i wouldnt have made it - he gave me the strength. Anyway, recently i had blood work doen cause ive been feeling kind of blah and it could be that the infection is coming back. I have to have more follow up work done. If it is the infection, should i tell him??

Well it been 2 weeks since i talked to my bf. I have sent him the odd message ect, but ive been pretty good about giving him his space. Anyway, i saw him sign into his MSN tonight and i had a computer question so i messaged him........and he responded. I was soooo happy. He helped me for a few min and then said he had to go. Im not sure if its a good sign or not. any thoughts??

Keeping my emotions under control is a hard one for me. Growing up i was never allowed to express emotions and i am still learning to control them. As for going to see him, i will only go if he wants me to. Im not the type (though i have thought about it) to just show up. I guess right now i jsut need to know what he means by a break. in the past week i have heard so many definitions that i have gotten all confused about it and i am having a hard itme remembering my conversation with him. I dont want to be selfish, but i know thats exactly how i am acting.......i think. Sometimes i think i am just confused as he is right now.....not to mention lonely. I found out some bad news today - the infection i had last summer may have returned. my bf got me through it the last time and i dont think i could go trough it alone a second time........ I guess i just have to try and be patient, but my worst fear is that he will forget about me and i will loose him forever.

I posted her a few days ago under breaking up (see We're on a break - what do i do??). For those who havent read it heres a breif recap - my bf of one year told me last week that we needed a break. This was after 2 weeks of not hearing from him and me trying to give him his space. He says he loves me and that he needs to sort his life out. I havent talked to him since and im not sure what he means by a break. Ive talked to a lot of people and everyone seems to have their own idea. I dont really remember the conversation with my bf - i was incredibly upset. About the one thing that i do remember is that he said he still loves me. I want him back - how do i do it without pushing him away?? I love him with all my heart and want to spend my life with him. I still consider him my bf and i am still faithful to him. He said that he doesnt plan to look for anyone but that if one of us finds someone else then we shouldnt feel hindred to pursue it. he said if i wanted to i could still consider him my bf but he didnt know if he still considered me his gf. I get the feeling that he doesnt want this "break". I want to get him back soon....i miss him a lot. I know i need to talk to him about this situation cause i dont think he has really looked at all possible ways of keeping our relationship alive (we are long distance and hes always come to see me, but i am more then willing to go to him). Bottom line - how do i get him back?????? Should i tell him i want to spend my life with him?

Well today marked my....well i guess its my one year anniversary with my bf, but its not really anymore......so confusing. Anyway...it was kind of depressing today. I didnt hear from my bf. Im thinking he likes the NC rule, but i cant stand it. Im a very emotional person and a very....i dont want to say touchy feely but in a way i am. I guess maybe im just as confused as my bf right now, except i am sure that we belong together. I did something last night that i have never done in my life - i got down on my knees and prayed. I prayed that my bf wil find his way back to me. Am i being selfish??? I want him to be happy, but i want him to be happy with me.

It is of great help. He does have a tendency to get down in the dumps sometimes and when he does he doesnt talk all that much - he just plays on his computer. It seemed to be happening more and more lately so i figured that he was going to be working his life out and i prepard myself for the inevitable times when i wouldnt see him or talk to him all the time and for just being by his side through this. BUt yes, ever though he still loves me it does still hurt. Hes been a big part of my life and I to and just straightening out my life, but now i feel lost again. I guess what i really want right now is a guarentee that we will get back together. Like i said before - I want to spend my life with him. As for confidence, hes always had good confidence in himself, he never really cared what people might say about him.

My bf said that he needs to sort out his life (he didnt say that it had anything to do with me). He said he needs to save money and work out his finances and figure out work and school. Hes 25 and im 20 and we've been together for a year (July 18th is out anniversary). We didnt even talk about this it just sort of happened but i get the feeling it isnt what he wants. I want to talk to him about it, but i know I shouldnt push him. He lives at home which he hates and his job isnt that great. It gets him down a lot. I dont want him to call this break if he is worried that he cant give me enough because thats a non issue for me right now. Im still in school and im not looking for a lot right now - just love. But i just dont know how to talk to him about this right now (esp since hes not in a talking mood).

Hi, Im looking for some advice. My bf told me a few nights ago that we need to have a break. Prior to this i hadnt talked to him in 2 weeks because he wasnt answer my calls ect. anyway he said that he needs to work things through and that for the most part he defintately still loves me very much. I feel lost a confused right now. He says that if i want to still consider him my bf I can but when i asked if he still considered me his gf he said he couldnt answer that. He said he doesnt plan to look for anyone else but that if one of us should find someone then we shouldnt feel hindered. The impression i got from him is that he doesnt want to do this. It took him 2 weeks to tell me this and i know it was a very painful thing and what im understanding is that he feels he can be fair to me right now and so is giving me the chance to find someone else if i choose to. I want to help him and i want to be there with him. I have never really understood what is meant by 'break'. ive heard form some of my friends that we'll get back together and be closer and others have said that this is his way of ending it for any reason from hes just bored to hes cheating on me. I dont know what to think and i dont know what to do. I dont believ ein the NC rule, but im not sure how much space he needs. I want to suggest we kepe the relationship going (one reason is its lon distance and he cant afford to come see me, but im more then happy to go to him). Please give me some advice. any is welcomed. how can i tell whether my relationship will survive??/ I love him will all my heart and a part of me wants to marry him. we've been together a year. I just dont know what to do. Thank you

Well my bf of 10 months and i had a talk the other night about whether or not we should break up. the reason is relatively simple - a bunch of stupid little things that could easily be compromised on and fixed. these include him not calling me when he says hes going to, some name calling (nothing real serious, just hurtful) and just a need for compromise (i am not perfect either). I brought up the issue and we laid all the cards on the table (at first he didnt want to talk about it) and he suggested we try to make it work till our one year (july 18) and see where we stand then. LIke i said i honestly think its just stuff that we can compromise on, but its hard to get a conversation going and getting him to listen to my side of things. I try to give him what he needs, but its hard for me to point out to him my needs/wants. I love him very much and im miserable over the prospect of loosing him and i know he loves me. We want our relationship to work, but i am not sure how to have a constructive talk and improve the gap of distance i feel with him (did i mention he lives an hour away from me?). I am hoping someone out there can give some advice. He is the love of my life and i very much want it to work.

Hi I am really confused about what to do. I have been in a long distance relationship with my bf for 8 months. Things were great for the first 5 months or so. He would come to see me and leave messages on my machine and call me to say goodnight. I love him very much and he loves me. But his mother doesnt know about us. He still lives at home cause he hasnt been able to find a decent job ans he says to tell her he has a gf would cause problems for him because she bothers him constantly about his gfs - insulting them and so on. Lately he says he'll call me and then doesnt and when i call him he calls me impatient. When i try to talk to him about it he says im putting him on a guilt trip and that makes me feel bad. When we do talk about it it gets better for a while but then goes back to how it was. Sometimes i fear i am loosing him.....and maybe even the feelings i have for him. I just dont know what to do. There is a 5 year age difference between us. We are sleeping together and sometimes i feel like its just a one night stand. I dont really feel desired or appreciated anymore. I feel there is so much i dont know about him. when we do talk there are big silences. I have thought about ending it but i love him sooo much and i want it to work, but am i just kidding myself? Please help.