Phoenix_girl

I am currently in a situation where it looks like this is what my best friend is doing to me. (I had told him i had a thing for him, but he already suspected it at the time). Theres nothing quiet about it - it hurts, its confusing and makes me feel like i did something wrong. If you feel like you need to end the friendship then just say so.

Ok apparently (as my friend who will remain nameless) has jsut pointed out.....I'm never happy. I am prone to depression, and right now my life is in the toilet....I dont have a lot to be happy about. But generally I am a happy person. I enjoy life. But the only time I talk to people is on MSN....and I hate MSN cause there is always some sort of misunderstanding, or someone interprets things wrong etc. I jsut hate it. But I'm always on it, because its the only time i hear from people.....I've given up MSN for a while and no one noticed or cared. I got it back only because I was going crazy from never hearing from anyone. So apparently, according to this friend, I never hear from anyone because I'm never happy.........

I know how you feel. I have had 6 deaths in my family in 2 years and it definitely takes it's toll. I would say talk to a friend, someone you feel comfortable with. It's natural that you feel drawn to someone who was always there for you, but if he isn't really in your life right now then reaching out to him might only end up hurting you more (esp if he rejects you or doesn't want to help). Talk to a close friend or a family member you are close with

to add to all the funness with my friends, my best friend is convinced i have a thing for him (see my post in the the dating category entitled friendship vs love whats a girl to choose). We have never really spent more then like 20 min alone together, and I feel like it's because he is convinced i have a thing for him (I MIGHT, but even i'm not 100% sure) and he either doesn't trust himself around me, or he thinks that i would try something. I think he's convinced himself that a relationship between us would never work so he doesnt want to risk hurting the friendship by letting something happen......but his remaining distant IS hurting our friendship. How do i talk to him about this (advice from guys about this one would be helpful)?

Well, other then my best friend, none of my friends are really there for me when I'm in crisis, but they come running when they are having problems. I give of myself all the time and I'm exhausted. I just wish i could hang out with someone and watch a movie sometime.

I need advice on something, but I'm not sure how to explain it so I apologize if this doesn't make to much sense. I have just had my 23rd birthday and I have a rather embarrassing admission to make - I've never really had a real friend, and I don't know why. Sure in kindergarten and the early grades your friends with everyone, but then groups start forming etc (you've all probably been through it). I was an akward child - very shy, very non-confrontational. This carried over into my teenage years as well. So making friends for me has been very difficult. I hung around with the same group of people for elementary and secondary school, even though they treated me like dirt. I was afraid to move away from them because they were all I had known. Eventually i did break away from them and I spent my last year of highschool pretty much alone. I need to clarify - I have had many many acquaintences, people I talk to at school, work, etc. But very very few of these have evolved into friendships. I was sheltered when i lived at home - i was only allowed to go to school and come home, nothing else, so I didn't really develop the necessary social skills that would be considered "normal". Now I am on my own. Through University i made some friends...or i thought they were friends. Most of them turned out to be mild acquantences, and the others turned out to be basically my highschool friends revisited. The few that i consider "friends" now.... well that is where this really begins. I don't know if they really are my friends. Non of them call me. The only time i talk to them is on MSN, and that's usually if i message them first, and the conversations never last more then like 10 minutes. I've had a couple of parties and very few of them have come, i never go out anywhere with them. I just don't know what to do or think. My best friend isn't really any different...well he is a little. I talk to him more, but i hardly ever see him (and this friendship is complicated by the fact that i may have a thing for him and he's convinced i do). But he never asks me to do anything or hang out with him. He's having a house party for new years, and even though we have talked about it, he hasnt invited me (he lives in Oshawa, and I'm in Toronto so its possible he didnt ask cause he knows i dont really have a way to get there). New Years is why this has really hit me - I'm tired of being lonely and spending my friday and sat nights alone. Any advice? How do i know if they are really my friends? How do i make new friends?

HI All Well it's been a while since i last posted here and now i have a whole new dilemma. I have this friend who I have known since i started university, so we've been friends about 5 years. We met during our FROSH week. During this same week I met this girl named Janet. No Janet had met Scott a few days before, and one day she and I were talking. She asked me if i liked Scott and I told her i did and she said "thats great, but hes mine". Ok so i dropped it. Classes start and i have one with Scott. We get to know each other and I find out that he and Janet have never dated. But since then I had started seeing someone else...... Now about 2.5 years ago Janet says one day "oh yeah, Scott had a thing for you during first year". So i confront him about it (we had developed a friendship by this point). He turned red and said that Janet had said that I had a boyfriend back in my home town, which he later learned was wrong but then i had started seeing someone. At this point i was dating my long time boyfriend so again the timing wasn't right. So now, I'm single. i've realized that im not still in love with my ex...but i have realized that I still have a thing for my friend Scott. But now its a 5 year friendship (he's my best friend). We torment each other and joke around on a verbal level, but we havent done anything physical (and yet i have felt like we were really close to doing something) and hes always been a little protective or jealous (depending on how you look at it) of my relationships..... So my question is: How do i find out if Scott is still interested in me? And should i risk a 5 year relationship to see if it could work between us??](*,)

I'm single and asking why are there no single guys.

Yes i took genetics and did very well. Blood type inheritence is the most simplest inheritance out there. We all get two alleles - one from each parents. O is recessive, and A and B are codominate over O. So if someone has type O blood then they can only pass on an O. If someone has type B then then can only pass on a B or an O (the O in this case would be in the genotype but not expressed phenotypically)......no A's. *sigh* it is complex and I am going to have to talk to my doctor next chance i get. He is apparently the one who delivered me so he would know if i came from my mother or someone else........If on the rare chance Mom had an affair and im the product of that, that might be harder to figure out.

Things wont be the same.....not because I would be immature about it, but because my parents abused me. I feel nothing toward them now, and i never have, even before the abuse. I acknowledge them as mom and dad cause thats what i am required to do. Finding out that they are notmy parents would release me from the emotional strangle hold they have on me........so you might say im biased in wanting them to not be my parents (hey, ill admit it), but i can accept that they are my parents if thats how it comes out. theres just a lot of weird things that dont make much sense to me.

That might be plausible except when i was born my mom (the one who raised me) was 31 and living away from my grandparents.

My suspicious are based mainly in the fact that my parents blood types don't match up with my own. I am type A and my mom is type O....my dad is type B (95% sure). Other then that its a lot of specualtion that added up doesnt make sense and it comes from two sides of the family. On my dad's side, there is a pink bedroom that was never used. my grandparetns built the house and they had 4 sons to my knowledge......when they built the house, 3 of the boys were still living at home, and they shared the blue room. The pink room was pretty much left empty, or so i am led to believe. My grandmother mentions someone named Emily from time to time and no one will tell me who she is or was. On mom's side, my cousin's brother in law claimed to be my uncle. the rest of the "specualtion" is hard to explain. There are also no pictures of me before i was 2 weeks old (and dad took pics of everything in my life growing up) and there are no pics of mom pregnant. I knwo its a lot of specualtion, and normally i wouldnt even think twice, except for the fact that when i ask questions, i'm told "not to worry about it" or "drop it" or "its not important". Probably the biggest thing besides the blood type thing is that my middle name is Ann......my aunts name is also Ann and Aunt Ann is the mother of the cousin i suspect of being my father.

Thx. I've been trying to find some sources that could help guide me. An adoption search i dont think would work because i dont think its what would be referred to as a legal adoption.

If there is, I'm not sure who. Both sides of my family are involved and neither side openly discusses things like death, divorce, adoption, or illegitamate children. My aunts on my moms side have already ganged up on me against this. Dad's side wont speak out out of respect for my grandmother......3/4 of my grandparents are dead and the one who is still living has dementia (she has said some things that have made me suspicios, but im not allowed to see her alone). My best bet are my cousins. On my dads side, none of them are old enough to have been aware of what was happening. On my mom's side, theres maybe 6 or 7 who were old enough to know a thing or two and one of them i suspect of being my father. He's the one i think would talk. I have seen him only twice in my life (that i can remember) and we have this really strange connection. Its something thats always been there. We had emailed back and forth for about a year (he was helping me deal with abuse that i had suffered through my childhood) and the way he would talk to me is not how a cousin would talk to a younger cousin hes barely seen. He always called me "TaraBaby". If anyone would talk it would be him......the rest of them i dont know. I'm not sure how to discretly ask questions or bring it up.

Ok I don't know how to really start this. Recently I have felt that my family holds a secret and that I may be the centre of that secret. I have discovered different things that may be nothing, and on their own are just weird, but taken together they make something that appears to be more then just a coincidence. I suspect that my parents are not my parents. But i dont think this is your typical hidden adoption. I want to get some information, but I dont know how to go about it. Any time i tried asking my mother she would have a breakdown, my aunts ganged up on me and told me that blood type doesnt mean anything. I believe i was born of both my familes....jsut differnt family members. But no one will tell me anything. My aunt and uncles would never go against the family and reveal anything, and there are very few cousins who would have been old enough to be aware of anything. I just seem to hit one brick wall after another. Does anyone know a way that i might be able to gather some information to put my confusions to rest without causing a family meltdown?

Well i've cut back on the junk and im eating a little better now that i have my own place off campus (which also means more walking). *shrugs* I'm gonna find a clinic nearby and go in soon and see. My hormones feel like they are completely wacko right now cause of this missed period.

Yeah i dont know how i lost the 17 lbs, it just seemed to happen. I didnt think i was really worrying that much about my results (my doc told me it was nothing to worry about) until i missed my period. *sigh* I guess all i can do is wait and try to get in to see a doctor (my doctor is in my hometown 2 hrs away by train). Thx

I'm a week overdue. I don't think I'm that stressed, i mean i felt more stressed then i am now and ive never had a problem. I'm on the patch and have been for about 2 years.......changes in my life, well lets see. theres missing my ex, issue with my cousin, i moved a few months ago, finished school, i hate my job......other then that my life is pretty calm.....oh and i've lost like 17 lbs in 2.5 months. Ok, maybe i can see it being stress, but my life has been in a lot worse shape and normally when im stressed thats when my period completely knocks me off my feet. *sigh* should i see a doctor if I miss a second month? I had an abnormal pap and im waiting on retest results of that. So thats kind of why im a little worried.

OK i have a question - what can cause someone to miss their period? I'm 22 and i havent missed a period for no apparent reason before. I havent had sex since october so i know im not pregnant, but i dont know what it could be. Any one have an idea?

Well I sent my ex an email last week telling him that i had a miscarriage. I havent heard from him.....so either he didnt read the email or he doesnt care. Either way I feel better for attempting to tell him and I realize now just what a slim ball he really is and i feel like he'll never grow up. I'm ready to move on and forget about him Cheers

I dont know if we'll ever get back together (at this point i would say no) and i dont know if i would ever sleep with him again, so those things im not even thinking about in regards to my situation. I've typed an email that just says the facts, though i havent sent it. I dont even know if he'll read it.

Well its been a while and i've been thinking about this issue pretty regularly (for those of you just tuning in see my thread here: ) Though i have realized one thing - if i sent him an email or letter or whatever and told him, if he didnt respond i would be devastated - i dont think i could handle that. Plus i really dont know if he would even read it. I think right now all i can really do is forget about it and move on, as hard as that really is for me. I really don't know how he would react. the man he was when i met him and fell in love with him would be by my side in an instant and would never have let me go through it for a second alone - he was jsut that kind of guy. even when we first went on our break he still really cared for me. But since his little midlife crisis.....i dont really know him anymore. A part of me feels like the old him would win out, but another part feels that he would just shrug me off or even deny it.

No, i dont think it will bring him back to me (thats part of why i havent tried telling him before - i dont want him to think im using it to get him back). Im afraid it might push him away moreb (though at this point that might not be possible.

I want/need someone to share that pain with. at the time i believed him to be with is sick brother.....but im starting to think that might have just been a story to get out of my life. I really dont have a way to get in touch with him and i wouldnt know where to start. I just feel alone in dealing with it.

I have a question and i think i know what you guys are gonna say, but ill ask anyway. My ex and I remained friends after our breakup and we remained intimate. The last time I saw him and we were intimate was in Oct. The last time i heard from him was Nov. I have had no contact with him since and no idea why. Anyway, I had lost track of my period around the time i was last with him - it was a high stress time and i never really thought about it. I am on the patch, but sometimes i forget to change it right on cue (weekley) - i will go an extra day or so. In January I ended up at the hospital. The doctor asked me when i had last had sex etc. Blood test showed that i had pregnany hormone in my system, but the levels weren't high enough for how far i would have been. I had a miscarriage (i was nearly 3 months). My ex doesnt know. When we were dating he swore that if i ever got pregnant he would be there for me for everything. My question is, should i find a way to contact him and tell him? I cant help but feel he has a right to know, but at the same time what would i gain by telling him. Ive gone through this alone - i was at teh hospital alone, i recovered alone and i havent told anyone. Should i tell him?