bluemudder

When it comes to females I am somewhat shy. Sometimes I am very confident and have no problem just talking to a girl and eventually asking her out, and then there are other times where I am shy and say a few words to her and that is it. At one of our local restaurants there is a waitress that I find very attractive. First off how do you approach a waitress to ask her out on a date...more times than not she has been hit on before and she has probably become immune to it given the restaurant is a college hang out? We have gone in there numerous times in the past couple of weeks and she knows me to see me and she knows my order without asking....so she is recognizing me.....I did ask if she had a boyfriend and she said that "she doesnt have a boyfriend but she is kind of dating someone." What does that mean? Also behind my back...my friends wrote my number on the receipt with her tip and they told me after we had left the restaurant. I found this to make me look like a wuss with no confidence. I explained how I felt about it to my friends.....so they went back 2 nights later where my friend told her that she left the number not me. The waitress had no problem with it and told my friend that she had turned in the receipt and forgot to copy down the number ....but she wants to get my number again. My friend gave her my number yet she hasn't used it yet. I want to go in there and ask her out but I do not know how to approach it. Can you offer some advice on what does I am kinda dating someone mean and what would be the best possible way to approach her? Thanks!

Great Question! I have been wondering the same thing....i have been away from my girl for 2 weeks....we were together for 2.5 years and she broke up with me. Should we or should we not leave a flower for the ex? I am still in love with her and miss her tremendously.....even though she lied to me and did me wrong....i feel that I should leave her a flower. What do ya'll think?

I know how you feel. You have so many questions and would like them to answer them for you yet you can not get a hold of them. My ex-gf gave me the excuse that she loves me but she is not in love with me......which I found out from someone.... that a month ago when she began to distance herself.....she met a friend that she hooked up with once....and she never told me about meeting him for dinner. Apparently the old flame is rekindled and she is going for him when he moves back......he has a serious girlfriend too....but she thinks she can break them up. The bad thing is I was prepared to propose to her in the next 6 months......I love her and want to be with her sooo bad. I feel so lonely and want her back soo bad. What should I do? I know this guy she is going for can not equal in any way to the way I treated her......I treated her like a princess. His whole goal in life is to surf and be a stoner. She deserves better than that.....but only she can realize that much. Right now she is all hung up on him being soo hot....blah blah. I hope i get through this. I know how your feeling cuz i feel the same way...except you are even more in the dark than i am. I know this post didnt help you too much....it helped me vent.....but you are not alone.

In this case and many others...when the other person in the relationship promises to contact you and doesn't what would be the best road to take. It is hard not to try to call them, and even if you do you know they probably will not answer. My ex-gf promised to meet up with me the next day to finish discussing our breakup b/c she broke up with me at a basketball game in front of her cheerleading friends.....she never called. In fact she lied to me about what she did after the game. I have attempted to call once and she never answered... i left a message but no response. I have questions that I would like answered but I dont know if i should try to contact her. She did ask her brother last night how I am doing...since he and I are friends. Please advise.

This sounds a lot like my relationship. She just ended it a week and a half ago but we went through the same thing you did with being away from each other and arguing a lot. The best thing you can do is to not contact her and let her be the one to initiate the contact. My first break up with my ex...i wrote a letter explaining my stance on the situation and how i still felt....somewhat just remembering past experiences and making her realize what a strong bond we had. She read the letter and about 2 weeks later we started to talk and date again......we lasted one year and i find out that someone else is on the side now. Just hang in there and try to stay busy. Everything will work out in the end. I am in the same boat...i want my girl back so bad....but she lied and I cant get by that. Good Luck!

Hey- I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a rough time. My ex-gf and me just broke up this past saturday....so i know how you feel. We had a 4 year age difference and it didnt pose a problem at first. Since I graduated from college and got a full time job and she was still in school...things changed. She wanted to do extra activities with the school...like cheerleading..... that took more time away from us and we ended up only seeing each other once or twice a week. Once we broke up....i tried to call her....but she wont take my call so i am not going to try anymore....i just try to keep myself busy. The thought that hurts the worst is to think of her with another guy...it just stings really bad. Do you have the same feeling? I hate to think that someone will be enjoying my girl...the one that I adore....or that some guy will just be using her for a quick piece and then dump her. I hate that thought. Take care and good luck. Hang in there...we will get through it.

here it goes...I am now 25 and my ex is 20.......when we started dating she was 18 and I was 22. My ex-girlfriend and I have been together for the past 2.5 years. We broke up 10 days before Xmas in 2002 and got back together towards the end of January of 2003. So we were apart by a month or so...a quick note about that break up....her best friend hated me and was involved in it....i left a mean voice mail when i was angry at a choice that she made.....her best friend used that against me and controlled my girlfriend. This friend hates everyone that enters my girlfriends life..b/c we take away her time from her....so she is a lil psycho...and my girlfriend doesnt stand up to her...she just allows all this to happen. She stopped talking to me and ignored all my calls. So i took it that we were over.....i wrote her a 13 page letter pouring my heart out to her and basically putting a finality to the relationship since she chose to avoid me. She missed me and the letter helped her to realize that i was still there wanting her back.....so we ended up dating and getting back together. When we were getting back together...i told her that if she has any doubts or questions to not get back with me b/c i truthfully could not handle being hurt again. I was devastated. She told me that she had no questions that the time apart made her realize how much she loved me and how big a role i played in her life...she also said that she knows that i am the one she wants without a doubt. Well....almost a year later... and here we are She is a cheerleader for her college...my alma mater. I knew we would be apart a good bit but it was something she wanted to do ...so i had to accept it and i did. There came a point where cheerleading and her new friend on the team had a higher priority to her then i did. I would ask her to come over and hang out....but she would be too tired after practice and just hang out with her friend then go home. Our relationship turned to talking on the phone during the week....and seeing her on Fri + Sat for a little bit. Her sport became very physically demanding so I began to only seeher on saturday and she never wanted to do much except relax. I had no issue with that...as long as i was able to spend time with her i was happy....but it got old that i only got to see her one night a week and she wasnt wanting to make love anymore. She was too tired...or hurt...or sore from gymnastics. She got the flu and stayed away from everyone...just slept all day.....she began to get better and when we saw each other she told me that she didnt miss me as much as she thinks she should have and she loved me but not as strongly. We still went on like normal...but we tried to make things better by understanding more...or trying not to argue. 2 weeks go by same old thing....and we had another talk where she said lets just take it one step at a time and see how it goes. Well one week goes by...and she breaks up with after a basketball game. She gave me a bunch of attitude and was very rude in front of people. I took her aside and asked her what was going on and she told me that she just wasnt happy and wanted out. She told me that she loved me but wasnt in love with me and she has tried to tell me that she wasnt happy. She just wanted out of the relationship. She had to leave....but she said she would call me later that night to meet up and finish the discussion and exchange property. Well she called to tell me this complete lie as to why she couldnt meet me....which was one of the many lies she told me...but something big that i found out is....a month ago an old fling of hers came in town and he called her...she met him at a restaurant. I never knew of this til yesterday.....she apparently told me she was doing something with the cheerleading team when she was with him......she told a friend of hers that told me...that nothing happened b/c they were both in a relationship but he was still hot and her feelings obviously came back to her. So this had to be before the time that she told me that she didnt miss me like she should......this meeting with him obviously swung her feelings for me. He lives in Orlando with his serious girlfriend....but i have no idea what happened at that dinner. I heard he is coming back from Orlando to live in town...i dont know if he is still with his girlfriend....but obviously my ex thinks she will be able to break them up if they arent alreday. I tried to call her once but she ignored the call....just like last year. She will not call me or have any contact with me. I love her soo much....i thought she was going to be the one i was with for life. My head says walk away..but my heart says pursue her or do something. I love her and i hurt so badly right now......the bad thing is I look at other girls and compare them to her. There is no comparison she was my perfect girl! What should I do....i want to confront her with the information i found out....she will probably lie to me.....but i still need to confront her. Should I if i ever get the chance. Please give me advice...i have no idea of where to turn.