tainted_soul

whenever i'm pissed, or frustrated, or angry, or whatever, i usually listen to Coldplay. It's not the best music in the world, but that stuff could drop a ragin bull. Very soothing music. Try "a rush of blood to the head" Other than that, just give me Nirvana. Still the best band, ever.

i really like it, the way it describes something almost there yeah... i can't explain it. i don't need to, it's a great poem.

haven't read but the first few, but i really liked this part I was probably meant to watch you all live If I don't need to exist, fine i can really relate to that

Long Live Kurt Cobain

freezing in the buckshot lying in the backyard grass moves like dead mannequins and it's dirty and wet and cold looking through the freezing glass door she's bleeding through the carpet lying on the floor something has all of you/ i'm lost in here standing in the freezing in the grass and the mud is cold like ice blood drips from the buckshot i'm dying out here since when couldn't i walk something has

huh. yeah me and my parents don't get along either- especially my dad. i dunno why. i won't get into that. my whole family doesn't like me for reasons that vary from person to person, but it's basically the same reason, it just affects people differently. like i can't have knives. but here's my theory- 1) hate is natural. you CAN truly hate somebody. maybe you hate your dad. maybe you don't. you have to think about whether you finally said what you've always felt, or you simply don't like him, and you snapped in a tough situation. 2) hate isn't healthy. trust me here. it wipes you out in a bad way. you have to put it aside, don't let it dominate you. 3) if you find out you do hate someone, truly, you can't stop it, you need to figure out why. something has to change- they say no one can hate forever, they're wrong- just sometimes forever is shorter for some people. If you know you hate him, you have to deal with it. Not just one of you, but BOTH of you, have to change. you have to confront him, (he probably doesn't think you REALLY hate him- parents rarely do) and let him know. try to figure out why, or if you know why, try to tell him why you hate him so much. 4) if none of this helps- or you can't, for whatever reasons, try to do anything- find someone else to talk to. yeah, i get that your parents are almost always (always, in my case) the last people you really want to share something personal with that concerns them. but you'll probably explode if you don't talk to someone. i mean someone real, in a real conversation, with real people, where you can smell what they ate but you don't care because you have someone to talk to. THAT is who you need to talk to. hope this helps.

ok, puma, what the hell is wrong with linkin park? except over-use of sampled sounds? and they aren't as heavy as i like. but seriously, caldus, find something YOU enjoy that can help you to relate to other people. it's like knocking a hole in a wall, then you can easily tear it down. i'm just using music as an example, you'll always find some other fans for almost any band- deftones, chili peppers, nirvana (if you're going to aviod LP, maybe nirvana isn't a great choice either), but (i hope) you get what i mean. If you want to be above the rest, you have to play in the same leauge- that's corny as hell, but it's true.

ok, i've erased another post. but i won't waste your time. i hate that. i do it all the time..... as soon as i posted this i realized that i couldn't tell anyone, not even anonimously, not to everyone in the whole damn world like this. i can barely say anything to anyone at all. so i've erased my original message again. i'm not sure why. wheee i'm failing five classes. i can't seem to make myself care. i told my mom before that i really don't care about school, but she just told me to shut up and never say that again. but telling my parents anything has been out of the picture for years now. i hate their guts, they're making me paranoid. everytime they open their mouths i just want to kill them. i can't tell anyone about cutting my arms. i told one person that i used to, but that's not true, it just keeps getting worse. i have to get OUT of here.

i'm religious. i won't hide it. I've got f***ing problems too you know. But i've never blamed God. I do blame people, parents, myself especially. But I believe in God. It's not so that my life can becaome somehow magically better, that would be a cult. Honestly, i rarely think about God, especially when i feel like s**t. But the thought is always there, subconsciously, that someone out there knows. Knows something, at least. Honestly, i feel like God doesn't punish me enough...

i know what the ##$@#$ you're saying...(i'm new here, can we swear?) Any way, i don't know what the f**k i'm pissed off at but sometime's i'll just be pissed at everyfrickin' body...people suck, i've decided. As a whole. Human race. Thing. Anyway, i know exactly what you mean by not wanting your parents to know...my parents are really bad at anything, i don't know what it is but it's like they don't address the issue just make a big deal out of everything, blah blah f**k**g blah... i wouldn't know about counseling, my drumset is my counselor... break s**t, that's my motto. i realize that this is really no help, just wanted to say i get it, understand blah blah f----in' blah.