scootermojo

ocrob, thanks for the compliment. to be honest, there are only two people who would get that poem and that's me and the girl that it's about who i used to be involved with so it's understandable that you wouldn't understand the meaning...nobody would except for her and i. still, though, you were right about it being about somebody who has acted badly...if you knew her story you would agree completely. i write alot but haven't lately but i heard the new tool song, vicarious, and was inspired especially since her birthday is coming up. 3 or 4 of the lines are almost direct quotes from the song athough changed somewhat to fit into the context of this poem. some may say it's plagarism...so be it but some of those lyrics inspired me to write this. our relationship has been done for just about a year but she continued to cause problems for me up until about two months ago. this was just a way to vent for me. i was going to send it to her because it would make her so mad and it would be nice retribution for what she did and has been doing after i called it off but i decided to just be mature and post it here instead for others to read and comment on it. as far as what it's about...she's just a bad person...the most despicable person i have ever met in my life and that's bad because i have met some bad people. for the vocabulary...yes, i have a decent vocabulary but not as good as what this poem illustrates. since she has a great vocabulary (she was an english major) and since this started out as me planning on sending this to her i had to be both subtle so no one else would understand it except for her but also wanted to use more illustrative words to "paint" the picture the poem was painting instead of just "alcoholic, liar, horrible mother, cheater" etc. this may sound more harsh in print than if i was actually saying it to you but if you don't understand some of the words then look them up. i do that sometimes when i'm looking for something different to describe something and also when i'm reading something and don't understand a word i read. i find it fascinating the multitude of words and synonyms we have in the english language and doing so both increases my vocabulary and helps me illustrate things in different ways. in fact, you could find out her name if you look up some of the stuff i had in there. "god's grace" is what her first name means and hindi god is the meaning of her first son's name that she abandoned. thanks again for the compliment. take care, scooter

Insidious eye of your screenplay twitches While choosing your unwitting flavor of the season Abandoned from the opening act Liquor fueled participation and epilogue Infected in a tide of dipsomaniacal reason Liquidated the first lamb Abdicate and astray on the second chance Soon to be shunned by the descendent Of the scarlet letter In eidolon dreams you said, "goodbye" It's your parable, it is what it is Attenuated beyond repair, However mephetic and pestilent It's simply neither here nor there Circumvent the destitute mother By throwing out the one of two faces Dependent effeminate stares into the bottle Staring like a broken zombie Unable to comprehend the emptiness while baby bears child Two in front of ten by two thousand Capricious and negligent eyes to the sky Infanticide "Why, oh why, oh why?" Relinquish and savor the now deprived from a distance? Malevolent indifference not emphatic humanity as elucidated The tangled charade, a facade, has unfolded on yet another Of a long list of many who know the truth Congenial illustrations no more need be erected Why don't you just admit it? Will you ever admit it? No stories are being assembled, maladroit and ineffectual, Is there nothing valorous to foster? Part vampire, part carnivore Amalgamated Mephistophelian and malicious philosphies Voyeuristic profligated alley cat "promiscuity" Sing in arrogant obstinance to those that abhor Based on fact and truth Excuses, nouns and defensive rhetoric distract no one For it's commonly asserted to being a... ...a label fittingly heard both before and after! La-la-la-li-li-lie...it's all that's been composed I and others have protected and sustained all that we've produced Could you make the same claim? Could the atrocities ever be admitted? Denial still lurks Angles in the hearts of many will not be deceived The broke Hindi God will never forgive and The immorial matriarch cannot be hidden from the celestial and jaundiced glare Prostitute yourself to whoever listens to your feeble fiction Fruad rooted in all the contaminated venom concocted By the untruthful and dirty mouth Relegated to comprimising never existent hypocritical principles, Harlot of the evening Lift your head out of their laps Whose turn is it this time? The truth you try to drown by devouring the phallic Pains beyond comprehension Stop running away from the emptiness abandonment of infancy Seeking jealous revenge on those more fortunate Eternally deemed everlastingly hostile and impersonal Inhuman, manipulative, audacious Pretentious, pompous arrogance, outwardly fake and misleading Diabolical charlatan souse begat from womb of souse Devour to compensate for past inadequacies Absurd and smug celebration of the epoch While no one else shares the enthusiasm Humanity recoils at the thought of your nativity Shared by the progenitor and kindred Repentless of the iniquity...extinguished the cherub Duplicitous liasons that break honor never embodied "God's grace" monniker, an ill applied name An injustice to those who coined the label in the name of nobility You only feed the tragedy Augmenting the blood to the ghost of the antecedent Vicariously, I laugh while the agony escalates So much better and deserving, you than I Just admit it

this is a poem i wrote the i just found out that is going to be published! hope you guys enjoy... FADE AWAY She dance's in front of me Hopping and skipping like a pebble accross water Singing and dancing in the rain of sunshine Hair galloping accross the wind She dance's in front of me Pulling on my hand and twisting me around Twirling and twirling 'till we become one Touching my soul with affection She dance's in front of me Promising an eternity of adulation Bestowing words of beautiful devotion Stars will die but our love will burn forever She dance's in front of me Drifting from what was never meant to be Drinking wine, laughing and fading away Hopping and skipping away from me forever

Chop me up, leave me to die and sleep with me in sight It was in the days that I was waiting, with the cold inside Nothing inside now but spiders that feed on the dust My revision of hell that looks back in the mirror For the first time I won't be able to heal I was hungry for your words, blended with purity I opened the door in the throws of lust ignoring all the horror Please let me swim as I sink to the bottom Cruely untied, I meant nothing I had lost myself in reflective eyes and plastic words Our time ticking on the clock, you did it right, burry me into the hole You left no quarter, impale my heart until I burn Memories in the fire, I should have listened I could never say no to you So much secrecy and so many lies, why did I trust you? Too many feelings, please, make it be alright But the same just happened, arrows crack our time… I will never be able to love again Trust you eyes, it's my mistake I will never be clean again

thanks...i wish i could make more beautiful choices. thanks again for the compliment. btw, i've always enjoyed your writing.

sensual, mystical girl your memory lingers in the embroidered fabric of dreams passionate images, warming words of love i awoke from death only to fall back asleep after a brief spell of ecstasy peculiar how a twist of fate brought us together: a simple exchange of words and advice, a short question leading to camaraderie among us a lost soul reaches out and opens trusting judgement and emotion like never before countless evenings exchanging thoughts and hope impatiently awaiting for replies i could not have imagined the hold of your incredible powers i was sure we would never part the vision of what could be, what should be growing and reaching towards the sun a second chance at what i had lost years prior a decade of struggle, words on paper, dreaming in black the realization of never again experiencing what i had wanted so badly caught again in between raindrops, footsteps merging at the fork in the road a delicate struggle to hold on forever tainted by truth once again, forever divided by miscalculation promises of obligations betrayed by smiling green eyes endless memories of bliss wiped away by the foolish movement of hands i dare to light the candle to forever carry in my heart the eternal thought of what could have been our dream together-love, free, proud and pure... i wish you would have meant it.

i've always considered it ironic that when i'm in the duldrums of life that i always have the inspiration to write stuff. good thing i usually find myself in that sort of mood, i guess, since i always seem to be writing and writing and writing. funny, when i look back upon times such as what i wrote about above and i never have the inspiration to write anything for i'm just caught in the moment and not thinking about putting things into words. oh, well... i've always loved to read poetry...especially romantic poems...for as long as i can remember and since you said that you generally don't like what you read it makes your kind words all the more better. thanks again. also...the sharing thing...forgive me if i seem a tad arrogant but it's more along the lines of self-preservation during these times of trying to make sense of the whole situation i was in...lol just joking, however, it is cathartic just get out what's inside.

thanks for the compliment....it's amazing what coming out of a relationship can do to you! lol i'm torn between being jaded and remembering all of the good times. those poems focused on the good memories. actually, i'm not really inclined to ever write anything negative about it so....lol btw, i'm the big 3-0! thanks again for the compliment

IT FEELS LIKE... i took a warm bronzed strand of your hair and stretched it sideways...inside i cried swept into the seems of me my head's not working from your spell i sort of strayed from what i should know i'll try and be like you with life tonight and yearn for love i don't deserve from you...but it feels so right teach me the fun that only you could know the sun is coming up and i swear to god tonight the fountain feels like snow i'm glad i got your hands warm so my arms can trust again i can promise true days when the sun comes the worst of this, the same, embracing, back to where it all began, maybe catch a new wave, it feels like... so then i stare as the time drags on and i think of the fire and the traces behind your eyes i sleep like god, insider her womb you see clearly, too, the silliness laughing inside my mind glad to hold your hand tonight so i can feel the trust begin you promise good days when the message comes the best of this, the intent, it's unclear to me brave man, i'll be back again and maybe ride your wave for it feels like... throw out the old, inject the charge we care for all of ours you're my prose now, transend your powers just like my heart's desires the promise to come in and see it feels like... ...love. IN BLOOM i'm picturing your wide open eyes smiling as i feed the nerves push the feeling and colorful sighs but only if you can see, like only you can do i'm picturing you under the lights if you can see if we can reach an answer to a delicate rest but i just sit and wait, for a wink and you to open your life streams shoot high that let's me see another side raining down softly until an inner beauty shines and your back skims through the steam picking up two roses and sprinkling away a dusty sleep that comes too soon and me, i'm wondering if we're in bloom i'm thinking of your soothing green eyes smiling as you greet the day...THEY CAN SEE ME!!! and now i'm picturing us drinking wine drinking all days away, in bliss, together and twirling outside but i just sit and wait for the rythm of a perfect little girl... it's all so true, all so soon my heart speaks, "i'd like to see us together, i'd like to rest my head on you. I need to feel my soft one and to make the earth stop. i've been searching for angels and failing every day. i love you now as i've never loved before. please remember my face as we lay in the rain." i dream of a jet ride, seeing you from the outside flying slowly as you clench my arm looking ahead through the rain drops feeling your upturned lips and sprinkling away a fantastic journey that ended so soon watching you full in bloom

as words fall down like blows to the soul i wither away at losing what i have held sacred my thoughts and feelings stem from percieved betrayal but i cannot walk away from that i have always loved was it me, was her that has led to this demise? was it destined for this end? i always thought we would share our lives forever and now i cannot fathom the possibility of not being with my love, my friend romantic walks by the water only to be erased by lies and broken promises soft heavenly kisses that lasted for hours just to be wiped away in a swift moment of uncontrolled bitterness the day i first gazed upon her beautiful green eyes i fell profoundly and madly in love at first sight a face so innocent and angelic that only god could create the words from her soft lips made my world so right she possessed legs of statuesque beauty that made her seem to walk without ever touching the ground a gentle swagger and demeanor that projected purity i still to this very day stand back at the beauty i found i was so envoloped with love and emotion, passion and care that it came without effort, words and actions of love flowed without thought i never would have thought that she would leave me, not for anything no matter how low i fell nor how bad i fought i took her for granted, she may have as well the same but my heart for her was pure just as my love will always be and now that she's gone i'm left with nothing but shame i know now that i will never win her back too much damage to repair, too many words that cannot be forgotten if there was truly a god, he would give me just one last chance to make amends, to apologize and to heal a heart forever broken i know she will never read these words and she will never let me tell her "i'm sorry and that i love you" i'm so sorry, jessica, and i wish i would have been better you have changed my life and given me more than i could ask i only hope you keep a part of me in your heart forever i don't think i will ever not feel the sadness of your loss nothing could ever replace my dear jessi life was not worth living until i met you and you made everything worth the wait wherever you are wherever you are going i'll love you for eternity

does anybody know how it feels to not be wanted? when the sun won't shine on you and the night won't even give you a reply when it rains it's as if you walk in between the drops refusing to fall onto your shoulders nothing needing you except the tears that fall out of your eyes it's so sad to always be alone waiting for someone to outstretch a hand the need for contact with others a need to make me feel complete as a man i'm resigned to take comfort in others people who i see daily but are not here movies, tv, cd's and books have always been there but they will never help remove my tears if i open the door and ask for someone to come in would they enter or would the just walk by? i feel as if i'm just coasting through my life, waiting for my turn to die

yeah, i did write that about an hour and a half ago. nirvana does rock. unfortunately, i don't think music has been much the same or as good since they left. although many bands have come and gone since '94, i feel that none have had such a profound influence on areas other than music since kurt died.

staring at the empty screen apathetic to society i search for a meaning something that can comfort me it has been ten years now since i have found somehting that i have believed a whole new generation has arrived, distanting themselves from the truth or what others would feel as being decieved i have never forgotten that tragic day the enveloping sunshine, the blossoming of youth, or the placidity of april turning to may never again will i will feel as i did finding solace in that i was not alone the world may have not been as bad as i thought offering more than what i found at home i understand what you did and why so i'll harbor no ill will, nor place any blame god, i can't believe that it has been this long i miss you and your thoughts, Mr. Kurt Cobain

when the dust has settled after all of these years and the few unnecessary have come to shed their tears the calming peace will run through the surrounding fabric and those unforgotten names that have left their mark upon my line, they will chose to stay away in droves rather than view me in peace, for just one small intance in time the few i have touched and who have, in turn, touched me back will calmly lead their lives whithout ever looking back if only i didn't leave with a sense of foolish pride what's done is done, that is the way i have played the game maybe i should have stayed and, instead, not have ran away, eargerly laying blame i guess it's too late now, the seperation complete for when i look into the sand, the only imprints i see are those of my own two feet i suppose it's sad to say, but i begged for this with indifference. because i chose to always run away, forever acting the coward, when it comes time for me to say, "goodbye," no one will bring me flowers.

My Sweet Friend you've got your purpose, you are my friend crawl through my mouth, into my head surf to my heart and soothe my soul keep me far, you'll make me drool with black faces, at night comes your ghost latch onto me and i'll give you a host drive into me, pump your sweets into my veins ride to the end with you at the reigns touch my lips, you treat me well i just ask for you to break my spell thoughts of you flare, that's my crime it has never been as good as our first time we first met, i yearned to be inspired these years together, now i'm alone and tired lost my time, i've fallen out of trend if i started over, i'd have done it again