Realitynut
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awwww....I haven't had that for so long! Does feel good tho….
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Said invalid link....hmmm
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Hi Cynders!!! I was looking at the forum, and noticing all the people i use to read, not on anymore. (I only comment) and i saw your name. I thought....surely NOT! But it was. Will look at your painting....but because I"M NOSEY....what's going on in your life? Romantically??? Anything???
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I found it strange, that after my dad passed, HE was the glue that kept the family together playing cards etc. We always thought it was mom. Our last meal together was Easter....dad died 4 days later. But there he was at the table, we were all playing cards, and he could hardly hold them. After that, everything kinda went to hell in a hadbag. But then again, mom wasn't the best and died 4 years later. The bf and I are totally done this year. I'll probably be alone for Thanksgiving and Christmas. And I won't like it one bit. Oh. And my birthday is Christmas Eve. Sometimes I just run to Florida and get away from it all...but not gong til Jan. 5. So. Christmas Eve you're going to be busting at the seams. And Christmas day...you're invited to family? Why not to S's. Heck...even in my 20 s and I had bf's I always went to his families for Holidays too. Would you rather be alone, because it's going to be empty without mom?
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ummmm.....i tried starting the mower today. A guy said....is there gas. I said yeah! then looked. Ummmm….no.
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lol....as I was reading this...I was thinking GEE...I wish someone would mow MY yard. So I'm glad you brought him cookies....and found out he was a nutjob...but will continue on as your 'yard boy'. Do you have to pay him??? That's great! My mower keeps quiting….lol
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Agree....rather have a happy clown....than a grouch.
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Great!!! Hope it works....especially before you go on vacation! I don't have it...but I can only imagine it would affect your quality of like!!!! Good Luck!
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yes jibralta....when Reinvent responded...i thought, "she misread what you wrote". I got it. She was sticking up for you RIV!!
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I'm so glad that your mom and dad validated your feelings....and said you were right. Mine said, Play me a violin.
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Ok. Number 1. You're doing all these things to make YOURSELF feel better! Exercise, diet, sleeping more....but what are you doing to make HER feel better! She certainly isn't gonna feel all lovey dovey and want sex, when you won't even put the car in your name.....because, ya know WE MIGHT GET DIVORCED! Wow....what a cloud hanging over her head. Also....we decided not to celebrate Valentines day.....we went to the gym instead! wOW again! Way to make her feel special and loved......again. Now is the time to start putting some romance into your marriage!!! Now, Now Now.....before it's to late. Reading this it sounds as if you're given up all ready...and want out. Your wife is certainly feeling this! Go to counseling with open ears, and try not to point fingers! You say you want love and support! Guess what! So does she! Saying, ok. pay back half the car when we get divorced....is NOT a show of support. You have to do everything and anything to support her and Yourself....as ONE unit. United we stand, divided we fall kinda thing. Women...I think more than men....want that EMOTIONAL connection. Way before the sex crap starts. I always say, make love to my mind, before you make love to my body. Make her feel like you are there for the LONG HaUL no matter what it takes. That you cherish her, love her, nd don't want to lose her. So what the F that you have anxiety and trying to work it out! That is your problem! What can she do to help you get over YOUR issues. That's what they are. Your issues. She can be supportive and a good listener (even tho you said you don't like opening up) At this point, she's a stranger looking in! If you truly want this marriage to end.....keep doing what you're doing. If you want to save her.....your marriage....and yourself from another heartbreak....Do VALENTINES day. Do date night. Do what you USE to do in the beginning that made her feel special. Would you have said 4 years ago....ok we'll get this car for you, but it has to be in your name! Ugh, ex did that to me when we were first married. We are now divorced. Share, but if you make bigger bucks, you should shoulder more of the expenses. You're a couple. Start acting like it. You're coming across like you did earlier in your journal.....It's all about Me, Me, Me. Sorry if this is a rant. Bf walked out on me again yesterday....as I was crying...I just want you to CARE. Make her believe that....and she will do the same for you! Trust me on that!
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yep. She's trying to understand you. Not realizing her questioning is pushing you away. The further you fall apart....the more she's questioning. Like a WOMAN...she wants to talk about it. You shut down....and want to 'work on yourself' by yourself. Your wife is being shut out...and that is never a good thing. Sorry to hear. You had such a good thing going.....please don't throw it away!
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I'm so sorry if I didn't sound sympathetic. I really am. Especially at Christmas, it's going to hurt even more. I just wanted to say....Forgive.
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awwww....little coco! Don't be angry at your mom. She did the best she could. My mom died 2 years ago. Colon cancer. She insisted that she was NEVER going to have a colonoscopy...even tho she was having issues down there. When the pain got so great, she agreed. By then it was to late. She died in 5 weeks. But....she was going down hill. Maybe she would have lived another 3 years (without the cancer) but it would not have been a happy, productive (or even happy, unproductive) life. She didn't want to die. She became very depressed when after the surgery, she found out the cancer had spread. She said she didn't want to leave her children. (mostly my sister) So even tho we lost her YEARS before we needed to, or should have...in reality it was a blessing. She didn't have to linger a slow death, and her mind was starting to fail her. Maybe your mom was in the same boat. Gone toosoon....but would SHE have been better off to live a longer life? Would it have been a painfree (mentally and physically) existence? Was she sad at the end that she was dying? I think everyone has a fear at the very end...on what is going to be on the other side. My dad fought death til the very end. So. At the end of this all....let your anger go. Talk to your mom. Forgive her. I'm sorry for your lose of your dear mom....but think...your mom's beloved coco is living life to the fullest now! *smiles*
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Sorry to hear kidd! But all marriages don't run smoothly. It's wanting to work thru things...and NOT run from them, that counts. If you both want to work at it...it will work out. And compromise is big. You gave up the tickets for family....she can maybe see those friends on a less frequent basis. Why does she like them so much...what are your concerns, that she is going to be swayed by them to do something you don't approve of? Stress can stretch your patience to a breaking point. You guys got together when you were really young. Maybe she is wanting to sow some wild seeds that she hadn't been able to before. Talk, Talk, Talk....then kiss and tell her you love her.
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Great to hear Kidd.....wish everyone can have a 'happy' even if it seems a little boring at times....life. Do you plan on having kids? Trust me....the relationship you have now, will change forever, and you'll wish your life was a little less entertaining...hahaha and more just even keeled! This is what married life is all about. (something I've never had...a happy married life) but where on is just COMFORTABLE and not having to think they need to entertain their wife all the time. We just want hugs and kisses...and know we are appreciated. :love-struck:
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Reinvent....just to say...your guy sounds like a SAINT. When a person says he's one in a million....believe it! So lucky you two fit together perfectly. I do believe love grows, and you don't need to go weak in the knees in the beginning. That's infatuation. Like Batya likes to say....YOU don't even KNOW him yet...lol Apparently he's weak in the knees, crazy over you...and that's all that's needed! :love-struck:
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Thanks....I thought about telling Silverbirch....but then....ugh. I guess it was just too personal. I just wanted to explain why I was EXTRA negative. Yes...Mom found out she had colon cancer 6 weeks before she died. A week later...surgery. Found out it had spread to her lungs and liver...so a death sentence. She wasn't young....but hearing that, she became very depressed....naturally. So even tho we were prepared....and she had been going downhill physically for years ....6 weeks from finding out you have cancer....to dying...is awfully sudden. Hugs to you faraday and your mom....
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Ummmm....what JJ says. Yes...I would probably say (because I have) I'm so glad i'm not single....I hated the dating scene. Just keep plugging along....stay up beat...and hopefully some day you'll met someone who enjoys being with you, more than he/she's enjoys being single. (and also....sorry if I'm coming across a little more negative than normal. My mom just died Wed. Visitation today, funeral tomorrow...and bf not as supportive as I'd like!)
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It's always easier to tell others to 'suck it up' when you have someone. It's easy to be independent when you know you HAVE a bf...even if it's not daily. YOU KNOW he'll be there on the weekend....or when you want to do something. It's easy to tell other's to be independent when they can relax knowing hey...I got a guy...but I"M INDEPENDENT I don't NEED a man. (but funny they have one!) heard that until my ears were bleeding. For those that don't have anyone to talk to, to be with, to love and to hold.....knowing that someone cares for you....that every damn weekend is going to be lonely.....that's the people that come on here crying out of loneliness. And then those that are in a relationship....or married for umpteen years, can spew forth their dialog of wisdom on loving yourself....you don't need a man...mantra. Dang I hate weekends.
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Be glad you HAVE nosey neighbors!!! I don't call that nosy....I call that looking out for your place. If I would have been your gf....I would have just said...hey...I'm cynder's friend and just bringing in her mail! All's well that ends well.....
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OH GEEZ! Wonder who??? No one would be interested in my mail...just bills. And a lawn chair? Maybe whoever was there, was sitting on your front porch waiting for you to get home. Went thru your mail out of boredom.....sheesh!!!!
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Welcome Back Cynder!
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Sorry Reinvent....My mind isn't working clearly! I had read the whole sentence....to make sure I wasn't taking it out of context...but the second half didn't seem to have much bearing on the first! lol Glad you clarified. I've been sitting in the hospital with my mom til 2 or 3 in the morning....and my mind just isn't grasping some of these concepts! lol Forgive.... Sucks to be hurting. I sent my on again/off again bf the different 'attachment' styles. I don't think he see's himself as avoidant. I KNOW I'm anxious. No if's and or but's..... And empathy? At least your guy knew what the word MEANT! And I see it as....putting yourself in the other persons shoes. Seeing their point of view. At least acknowledging it.....
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Though I thought if I could prove to him he was mistaken Ex and I would always go round and round on this. He would say...you ALWAYS have to be right. But you're WRONG! Well...if me thinking I'm right....(but he says I'm wrong) then that mean HE wants to be right. I tried to tell him one day...it's NOT about who's right or wrong....but he wouldn't hear anything I had to say. Ugh. Relationships are so hard. I guess it's a power struggle. Everyone wants to be heard. I think I'm a pushover, since I'm always accepting his BAD treatment of him. He told me last night that I was hard-headed, head strong, independent. Where....believe me....when someone stands there crying when someone is abusing you verbally and emotionally....makes ME (I think) weak and dependent. But he sees me as controlling....and I see HIM as controlling. I try to tell him there are different types of 'control'. Him telling me NO all the time is control. No I won't put up a Christmas tree, No I wont take you with me, No ....all the time. He told me once, he should just be able to say NO...and I say...OK. Dang.
