peek-a-boo

hi superfly just curious abt your comments on being "a challenge" my ex who has hurt me called and asked me out 3 times but got rejected each time, is that perceived as being "challenging" enough. i am also going away on a backpacking trip for 2 months, and think that got him worked up a bit? truth is i still want him back but only if i can trust him again, and i can see that he is trying hard to get me back... simply calling me up and making vague comments on his unhappiness in life and two "i'm sorry"s is not good enough for me.... i know at this stage he may be intimated by me coz i sounded pretty bitchy and unresponsive but i think if he really wants me back he won't give up yet and will try to do more isn't it? am i having too high expectations? or should 3 phonecalls be enough to give in?? its not that i want to play emotional games...but i don't want to be hurt again!! i'm leaving for my trip tomorrow, should i make a move to call him or should i just hang loose and hope i won't regret not doing anything?? btw, thanks all of you for responding...

For all you guys out there who left your nice girlfriends because you felt you are not ready for a serious relationship yet and still want to play the field, is there anything your ex-girlfriend could have done to make you want them back again??

ok my ex and i broke up 6 weeks ago coz he said he didn't want a relationship that is "too committed". Few days ago i found out he got attached again... He owes me $200, should i get my money back?? I know it's not a big sum but i rather use the money to donate to charity rather than to let the bastard keep it. He owes me this money coz he sold away 2 concert tixs that I brought for his birthday just before we broke up. I had no idea why he did such a hurtful thing, prob coz by then he wanted the r'ship to end, and hoping that i get angry enough at him to walk away (which i did). On the other hand, I still do miss him and want him back... arghhhhhh any advice??

hi sweetie dont cry...i know how it feels coz i've met 2 guys who say exactly the same things to me... they messed up both your mind and your heart and it is so confusing... you are so happy when you are with him yet you know deep inside something is not right... to put it in nice terms, your ex is not ready for a serious relationship to put it bluntly, your ex is a selfish jerk basically he wants the best of both worlds, having the freedom to have other girls, and yet knowing that he can always have you when he feels lonely. He lays down his cards "i need my freedom blah blah" clearly and that is a hint that you mustn't count on him coz he knows he is not going to be there for you in the LONG RUN. Sure I'm sure he does care about you and in many ways he even loves you. But how much exactly? Love is about commitment which comes down to responsibility (different from obligation - responsibility is something that makes you want to do it on your own accord, from your own heart and not coz of emotional blackmail or whatsoever. Responsibility cannot be forced. It depends heavily on how his past life experiences have shaped his attitudes towards life so far and girl, that is something you can never change or control). After many years the passion in a relationship is likely to fade away, but a guy will continue to stay with you if he feels responsible for your happiness and that he WANTS TO BE RESPONSIBLE. And that is the kind of guy we all need- someone we can count on during our good and bad times. A guy who can make us feel secure and bring out the best in us so that we can also love him better. If you want to continue to be with him, it is possible but you have got to accept his irresponsible attitude towards you WITHOUT ANY EXPECTATIONS and actually learn to be happy with it. I believe after 2 years you have already tried more than your best, and it's time to take a rest sweetie. This relationship is slowly eating you up, don't let it control ur entire life. Tell your ex how much you still love him but that you have reached a stage where you cannot compromise your own personal happiness any longer. Your ex may not have the strength to let you go completely, that is when you have got to stay strong for the both of you and make the decision to stay away from each other and have the faith that both of you will be happier in the long run. Leaving him doesn't mean that you no longer love him, just that you have accepted the fact that you have your own needs as well and that if your needs are making him uncomfortable, maybe you should leave him so that HE can be happier elsewhere. If you love him, you want him to be happy even if it is not with you. As for yourself, have faith that time will heal your wounds and you will eventually find someone who is better for you. Sorry about the letter being so long...This topic is close to my heart coz I went through something very similiar. I took 2 years to get over this guy, I still love him, and he cares about me, but I've accepted the fact we are not meant to be together. ICQ or email me when you need someone to talk...i'm in the midst of another break-up (my 2nd-hurts like hell too) so can do with some company myself...take care!!

Appreciate your honest comments...thanks I really know what u mean but this guy has like over 7 girlfriends in his life and he says his relationship with me for 2 years has been the longest which i think is so pathetic... i really think he has an issue with commitment in general and only he can deal with it himself. i guess i'm to blame for being gullible and thinking he will change for me. all u ladies out there, if a guy courts you aggressively and over-intensely in the begiinning be aware coz there's a chance they are just seeking the thrills of "conquest" and when they've got you they just get tired of u...if a guy wants u for the long term, he will take his time slowly and cautiously with u..anyways my two cents worth of opinion

Today I found out accidentally my ex of 2 years (my 2nd bf) has a new girlfriend and that he brought her to his family dinner. This hurts coz its such an intimate thing to do and we've only broken up 5 weeks ago. We broke up coz he said he doesn't want commitment, and though I was angry I respected his decision. Though I didn't call him since our break-up, I was still missing him everyday and hoping we can still patch up. Anyways all hope is gone now and even though I was expecting him to be attached soon(coz he is a cassanova kind of guy, aka bastard) it still HURTS anyway. Really sad too coz when I look back I think all his declarations of love are just a bunch of lies.... I know I will move on eventually but just need to let off some steam tonight...thanks for listening guys.... Truth hurts but hey I guess you just have to cope with it...

hi dear i'm 1.63m tall and only 42 kg heavy...i'm been called names like "skeleton" and "stick insect" since young...always been self-conscious so know how you feel...however, i can't help being skinny coz it runs in the family genes...so i tell myself you shld just love who you are! coz if you don't no one else will (except ur mum). remember true beauty comes from within...if u feel good abt urself, ur personality will shine through naturally and that makes u attractive... accept urself and love urself...cheers