InLoveWithAlex

Those of you who are {bed} friends or {bed} buddies.. Do you kiss or not? I had two of those, One where we would kiss and one that was against it. What about you?

Resume: after 1 yrs and half of friendship where we became extremely close. The guy told me he loved me.. and from there we decided to be together.. but, since he go to school outside.. we coudnt meet right away.. so for about 3 weeks, we called, texted, talked on msn every day several time a day and we planned out meeting. Always acting like a couple from the time he said he loved me to the time we meet. But 3 days before I go there, he told me he was gonna meet his father (which i know he havent seen in a while so I dont take it bad and I am perfectly ok with it) and then I asked him when we should meet, he said it was better we didnt meet.. that he was about to be kicked out of school and needed to work on school project and that he didnt know when we could meet. I told him that i would wait for him and to give me news. No news from him for a month. Then he talked to me on msn, saying he got kicked out of school that things werent going well.. He then talked to me a little bit but not that much. Text and MSN mostly. Until.. 3 weeks ago, where we started to talk more on msn, almost everyday.. being close.. but not in a romantic kind of way. Just close. He told me he was bored and I offered him to use my account online to play a game so he have something to do when he is bored.. he then said, come play with me! and we started to spend a lot of time together.. texting and talking while playing that game.. laugh and have lots of fun together.. one night i told him good night and i added "xx *hugs*" after the good night and the next day he asked me why i did that.. and i told him well.. cause i wanted to? and he said he thought it was odd.. then.. (this is where i ask myself questions..) He started to flirt with me.. like before.. saying how much he care for me and saying he would always be there for me, saying how he trust me more then anyone else and forever.. 3 days ago.. (we don't know much about each other love life..) he said.. oh i met that girl.. and i wanna marry her.. and i was like what? who?! and he said.. a girl.. and i was hm ok.. but why you wanna marry her! like.. is it serious? and he was.. yeah! or else i woudnt be marrying her! and he asked me if i would go to the wedding.. and i said.. eh i dunno.. and he said well i got a bad news and a good news.. bad: i dunno yet who i am going to marry.. good: im not getting married! (that was weird cause that thing came out of no where..) i said woah ok? you sure know how to play with my brain.. and he laughed.. then.. he asked me about my love life, he was "so.. how is 's love life going?" and i said.. why do you wanna know? and he said.. dunno.. just something to talk about.. and i told him that i was on hold right now.. protecting myself and not in love with anyone.. (i still love him but he doesnt know) (or he knows but he is blind..) and i asked him about his.. but he didnt really answer.. he just said he was horny.. then he started to flirt with me BIG TIME, almost acting like i was his girl.. i just dont know what to think about all this..

What does it mean when, two good friend fight and it sound like a couple? Kinda fight like, at the end, they both say "Omg we sound like a couple" Your opinion on that?

How i am insecure with everything i do.. right now im thinking that he is distant with me because of the good night thing, and he said it was odd.. so now he is taking his distances with me cause of that.. And for the last.. 4-5 hours I wonder how I will fix it..

I know the suicide thing is serious and its not something i take like a joke.. I really care for him and I do everything I can in my power to be there for him.. I don't plan on ditching him either, If the fact that he is depress is part of him, I will take it and be there for him 100% But what I really want to understand is why, no matter what happen between the two of us, he always go away to then come back.. Why things are wonderfull for a couple days, to then go to what I have today with him, where we don't talk or he protect himself and wonder why I give him hugs.. I know he dated other girls after me, so I don't know.. maybe he doesn't like me anymore.. but it's like border line between I wanna be with you and I don't.. I mean, you don't flirt with a girl if it's just a friend.. like he did with me..

Hello, Well, to understand what I go thru, maybe read the previous posts I did, it's all related to what I am about to say. Resume: Being friend with that guy for 1y 1/2.. last summer, he invited me to his house (he live 6h away from me) but i got scared and I said no.. then he invited me again.. and i said, ok i will go.. but then he changed his mind and said.. no dont come.. forget about me.. didnt hear from him for a few.. then we talked again and we were good friends.. then, 1 night he come on MSN (around halloween last year), tell me he loved me for a while, then for 3 weeks we planned on meeting.. being really close, saying i love you, calling, texting, and planning on be together as a couple when we see.. 3 days before I go there.. he said he was about to be kicked out of school and for me to go there woudnt be a good idea at this time.. he need to work on school project and he will be very busy with school.. (i know its all true) I answer, well.. ill wait for you to have time.. its ok i understand.. Didnt hear from him for about 1 month, he logged on msn around thanksgiving and he said he got kicked out of school.. things arent good.. then, he try to kill himself.. school being important for him and how his family see it, he said he have no motivation to live. I try to be there as much as I can but he dont want ppl around him. Some time passes.. We talk once in a while but not much.. we text also but very little.. But when we do talk.. things are very good.. he open up to me a lot.. Couple weeks ago we started to talk more and it was very good.. Talking about our life.. stuff we used to do together.. 1 week ago he talked to me on msn and he said he was down a lot.. he was homealone, his friends are outside town at different colleges.. he got no one to do stuff with.. his dad is outside the town on a business trip.. he doesnt like being homealone.. I talk to him and spend time with him on msn.. The next day we talk and after talking a little bit, he tell me he need something to change his mind. I tell him he can use my account for a game we both play (his isnt active) and he is very happy. We decide to log together (him on my account, me on my friend account) and we play together. We spend lots of time together and we laugh and make plans. Him and I always had that amazing thing when we communicate, we understand each other no matter what.. he also trust me a lot.. with a lot of things.. I know a lot of things about his personal life, password for sites he go to, games he play.. and i am the only one who knows about these besides him.. he said the other day.. I trust you, always.. so know im not just some girl online.. i have his adress at home too.. because of my job I said I will send you this by mail if you want.. and he gave me his adress.. Anyway.. for the past days, things were amazing.. we would spend time together and everything.. and talk and flirt.. and it made me very very happy.. cause, i dont know.. i like to hang with him a lot.. but today things are kinda weird.. he is kinda distant with me, playing on his own side.. I understand that we dont have to spend all our times together.. And today, he asked me why when I told him good night last night I did xx (like 2 kisses) and hugs.. he said it was odd that i did that.. and i told him that i do that to ppl i hang a lot with and thats my way to say good night to ppl.. I really dont know what to think about all this.. sometimes he will be very close of me, and make me feel im part of his life, and sometimes.. push me away..

Tonight I decided I will talk to Alex.. (see the previous post to know more about it) I think we waited enough.. We talked a few times lately.. he asked me if i was still in love with him.. and i said yes, he said said he love me still.. Then we didnt catch each other online much.. But I don't know.. the hints are there i think.. his friend called him and he didnt pick up.. 2 secs after I sent him a text and he replied to me.. he talked to me in the game we play together.. many times.. and he do tons of things that tells me he wanna talk to me and have contacts with me.. I just have no idea what to say to him.. at all.. the emotions are there, but when it comes to expressing them.. that's another story.. I don't even know what to ask him first.. lol Pathetic isnt it? I love him.. I know he still love me.. Now what do i do?

Dec 15 is the last my ex and I talk, and it didnt went really well.. He tried to kill himself and I talked to him, wanting to help me but he didnt wanna talk to me about it.. so I left him alone.. and I waited.. I did, what i think is NC.. not trying to contact him at all.. the next day he left a message on a message board we both go.. There is this thing on the board where we leave comments about the person. and he left "good friend, good player and very smart" Then, i didnt talk to him at all, and i waited.. i didnt use the comment he left as a reason to reach him, i didnt comment back like i did with the other person who left comments on my profile.. Today he sent me a text saying he was going back to the game we met, we texted a lil about the game.. how the game needed his legend back (cause he is really good and he always say he is the legend of that game).. and how people who left comments on his profile were funny.. and how happy i was that he left the "very smart" comment. Now, I dunno what to do.. do i go back into the NC.. or do I rush to him? Do I wait that he talk to me again? Thanks for your answer

Alex asked the friend I texted the night he told me.. if he could stay with him for a while.. cause his family is after him all the time for school stuff and he can't take it anymore.. so he will go to community college and stay with that friend of Alex and I.. he is going there (cause they live in different states) in Xmas time and if he likes it Alex will move with Carlos.. go to school there.. I hope it gonna work, Carlos said he will be there for him and help him.. And i am glad he went for help, means that he wanna live i think..

can you tell me tho.. why are people do that.. why this need of attention.. they have friends around em but yet they need more attention? i don't understand.. and also.. if its for the need of attention.. do i just do like.. w/e its not real.. or i stay with him all the time incase.. it might be real..

Thank you i appreciate your help in this thing.. i tought about mailing friends of him too.. but i dunno how he would react.. ill see.. how things go.. But he knows i care for him and that i am here.. ill keep repeating him over and over and ill call him if its necessary im even ready to drive there.. stay up night and day for him.. give 500% of myself for him.. i love him this much.. i don't care if he drag me with him, i know im strong enough to bring both of us on top.. But thanks for your help, you have no clue how much it helped me today to live this.. He went to a party tonight with his friends hopefully things will be better and i can talk to him tomorrow..

i don't know all the words to say what i wanna say now, but.. to me you are one of the most amazing person ever.. and i care for you.. you are a too good person to kill yourself no matter what it is.. and im here for you... no matter what, when, how.. I am.. is it ok? like should i tell him that?

ok i texted his friend.. and he said Alex said a while ago that if he was going to be kicked out of school (which happened) he was gonna kill himself..

I don't know his parents.. well his father.. his mom past away 2 yrs ago after being sick for many yrs.. He got a tattoo for her 1 month ago.. to remember her.. He got good friends around him, 5 friends from highschool that are like brothers to him.. so he isnt alone completely.. he is 18

not pig headed but more like.. when someone think no one can help him, and he think that its hopeless no matter what he do.. he is like that right now..

he got kicked out of school.. cause of his grades and he was partying too much.. we had a LDR that he decided to stop because he was having problems at school.. and he got scared.. but i know he still love me, and im try to be there for him but he push me away.. and he dont wanna tell me what bother him.. i know that he could talk to me but hes pig headed and dont want to

i don't care if he lie or just acting.. i am this close to jump in my car and go see him even tho he live 6h away from me... i know i need to let him go and i cant force him to talk, but i also know that im the only person on earth he opened himself to.. besides his friends that are most likely guys.. i know he still love me but the relationship thing was stressing him... so thats why i say he could talk to me but he dont want to.. and im scared.. so scared.. i dunno what happened for him to be like that.. thats why im trying to force him..

Ana / Nadia says (16:26): Hey Alex Gangstar says (16:26): hi Ana / Nadia says (16:26): How are you Gangstar says (16:26): not well Ana / Nadia says (16:27): What's going on Gangstar says (16:27): really dont wanna talk about it cuz you will freak out just like everyone else did Ana / Nadia says (16:29): I promise you i won't freak out.. I wanna know what is putting you like that.. Gangstar says (16:29): haha wednesday night i tried to kill myself Ana / Nadia says (16:29): What happened in your life.. for you to do that Gangstar says (16:30): alot of stuff Gangstar says (16:30): its not important Ana / Nadia says (16:31): tell me Gangstar says (16:31): no Ana / Nadia says (16:34): Alex i care for you ok.. and i know that you like to be alone and on your own.. but dont push me away like that.. not me.. talk to me Gangstar says (16:34): um...no Gangstar says (16:35): talkin about it wont help anything Ana / Nadia says (16:36): maybe "talking" wont.. like... cause you talk about it.. answer won't come to you magicly.. but if we can find some kinda solutions.. stuff you dont see right now.. Gangstar says (16:36): no Gangstar says (16:37): i dont want to talk about and so im not going to Ana / Nadia says (16:39): i can't force you to talk.. i know that.. but sometimes even tho you don't wanna talk.. sometimes its good to.. that's why im saying these things to you...

You can read the previous posts I did to understand more what I go tru... I have been thinking a lot lately.. And after talking to a lot of his friends.. They told me Alex got scared and that he decided to stop.. not because he don't love me, but because uni was stressing him and that it was better he concentrate on school... And, they all told me that i need to push him a lil cause if i don't he wont.. and that he love me.. So, i decided to do that.. instead of just letting him be and let what we have die, i decided to that ill push him a lil and make him understand things.. Like that I am still here for him, that he is in uni and i understand but that the feelings we have are real.. not be scared etc.. The question i have is.. Cause i never was the kind to push and force things.. ever.. im more the, leave things and wait... but the more i think about it, the more ive let things be and it just died.. So I wanna talk to him and tell him.. make him understand.. sometimes we need to shake people we like but i never done it.. ever... i dunno how.. How do you make someone realise things love wise?!

What if... he still love me.. but.. for stressed reason he push everyone away.. Some people do that sometimes.. Or what if, cause we have problems he don't wanna hurt me again.. I just need to know what to say to him, for our last conversation about "us being together" then i will leave him alone if it's what he want.. i will respect his choice.. I won't push.. just that.. i need help writing/saying.. what to say.. so he know im here for him and i still love him.. that i wanna be with him even tho things arent going well..

Read this to understand more I sent him a message on msn last night, he was online but "away" I said: Hey, last we talked you said things werent going well.. you told me not to worry but i do.. I want to know if you are going better.. let me know when you have some time.. 2 mins later he said "Im fine" and then i said "hey whats up" he said "nothing" I was typing something and he went offline.. Now here's the thing.. I know we still have something going on.. I don't know what it is but.. it still there.. The way we talk with each other.. its nice and fun.. like before.. minus the couple thing (We dont say i love you, i love you too kinda thing) I want to write him a mail, or talk to him on MSN... but I can't find the words.. I don't know what to say to him.. I was waiting to have another fun conversation with him but lately, he is not going well.. School stuff, he got kicked out.. he wanna go back.. he can't.. he is lost.. so when we talk its not fun.. no "lol" or "haha" stuff.. cause he isnt in the mood for it.. I am there for him as much as i can, he know he can call or text anytime if he wanna talk.. but LDR.. he spend time with his friends.. not much online and im glad he do.. cause his friends help him change his mind.. But.. I want us to get back together.. i miss him.. i just don't know what to say... how to ask it.. how to do it.. i just dont.. Help

Thank you for your answers.. I agree with both of you on this.. I agree that I cannot force him and I don't want to either.. Maybe it's me who can't see things.. And I have been thinking a lot about it lately.. Like you said he got cold feet.. scared.. and with school.. other stuff too.. he wanted to concentrate on it.. He know i understand that.. I wanna talk to him but.. I don't know what to say.. I never was good at finding the right words.. I saw him online on msn the last days and I so wanna message him and talk to him.. text him.. Last we talked, well i was helping him install a game on his PC so he can come play with me and his friends. It didnt worked and we tried to find solutions.. then he had to leave.. Next day he messaged me and we tried stuff.. But then he lost patience and he said.. i dont wanna play anymore i got other stuff to do then try to figure this thing out.. (i know him, thats what he do when loose patience.. like **edit** it! i dont need it!) He said i dont time or energy to work on that thing.. and i said.. you say that something drain you, like a bad thing.. you ok? he said, "not really but its ok, don't worry about it" and i said.. "you know you can talk to me if you want.. if you need let me know" and he said "k" i dunno what to do.. i worry a lot for him.. which is normal cause i love him.. so i give him space.. but in the same time if i dont talk to him he will go away no? What should i say to him about the "us" thing..

Alex and I met in a game.. we talked a lot there but, we talked more outside the game.. we became close, i knew things about him not many ppl would know.. about his family, his mother, his friends.. how he is.. 2 months ago, Alex told me he had feelings for me.. feelings he had for me for the last year or so.. he never told before.. but, that night.. he did.. and it made me really happy because.. i was feeling the same for him.. We said.. "lets meet real soon" and i said ok.. ill see when I can go.. He live 6h away from me.. Me Canada, him USA.. Not too bad! So.. I manage to go see him, we call and text everyday.. from that night till "the day".. saying how we wanna meet and be together.. how we love each other.. we text about our lives.. like school was good, im going out, im at the bar.. and also call as often as we can but, its expensive so we dont do it a lot.. so.. "The" day.. I drive to the border and.. my birth certificate is too old.. i have to go back to Canada get a new one.. i call him and he say "it's ok love, come next week" and i am happy to plan it again.. So, we call and text, I call him tuesday.. we hang up and say "I love you" he say "I love you too" And..... He text me the next say "You wont be able to come i am going home" and i say "ok when should i go then" he say "dont come" and i am like "ok and to what? not go this week or dont go ever, what about us?" and he say "no to all" and I say "whats going on" he say "its better that way" and I am like.. well can we call tonight? he say no im going out tonight.. and then im like, ok Alex.. let me know when you wanna talk.. ill wait for you to have time..... .. That night i texted his best friend Carlos.. I ask Carlos.. what happened? Talk to Alex! he say he dont wanna meet me!! And, Carlos talk to him and then Carlos talk to me.. He say: "With college and all, Alex is about to be kicked out cause of his grades, he told you not to come because he is affraid you will see him that way and he dont want you to.. i think he is affraid of the long distance relationship too..." I don't hear from Alex for 1 month till.. 5 days ago.. He is on msn.. (I know he is home because his PC at the college is broken) He say "Hi" and i say.. Hi Alex.. he asked me.. How are you? and im.. hm not bad you? and he tell me he got kicked out of college cause of his grades.. that he is now home.. and we talk.. and.. we still have that connection we had.. we just dont do the "couple" thing but.. we talk and things are ok, we laugh a lot.. Then, we talk the next day.. then don't talk for 2 days.. and we talked today.. I don't know what to think.. He is affraid, but.. what should i do? Ask him out? Don't say anything? wait? He backed off like, 3 days before we meet.. Scared? I still love him, never stopped..