survival21

i would personally never go and sleep around with different girls unless they were in a relationship with me. I think guys that also do it are in the same wrong as the girls that do it

ok i have a question for us guys out there, girls your input is just as good so give some feedback if yall would like also. I find it really gross when a girl just goes around and randomly sleeps with other guys. I find that she degrades herself in that matter and its such a huge turn off. I personally do not want a girl who randomly sleeps around for a long term relationship at all. I find it really disgusting that she doesnt treasure herself more than that. Ok if she is in a relationship that is different and im not talking about the first time she goes out with her new boyfriend and has sex. Like at least a few months before it happens. Is it that i just have high standards, or does more than just me feel like this?

been thinking about this question a lot lately. Especially this past weekend. After many dreadful days, hard nights, and long months i actully got to hang out with my ex. Many of yall might rememeber my troubles back in august and i have been posting here and there about NC. But let me give a quick recap for those that dont. gf broke up with me in aug of '06 of course devistated. Went no contact for about 3 months straight and i mean no talking or anything. She was invited to my brothers wedding (when we were dating at the time) which occurred this past dec (she stood in it...i know tell me about it). She was at the rehearsal dinner prior to the wedding we talk for about 10min which offically broke my NC. Then went back into NC the next day. the wedding came. Didnt really talk to her at all at the wedding it was just a hi. And stayed no contact up until this past week which was monday (feb 26). We talked on the internet just catching up. she invited me to her party which was friday of the same week. I thought hard about going or not and ended up going. We had a few drinks hooked up. I found out things i didnt want to know. which hurt some but i prepared for that while in NC. She seemed really into before the party and then she was really into me at the party but that could or could not have been the drinks. We shared are thoughts and i invited her to come over to my place tomorrow (monday) to talk about things. Now this is where my title comes into play. I loved her and i let her go for 6 months straight it was hard but it was well worth it. Now she presents herself back into my life. She talked first to me on that monday we spoke online and kept it up through out the week and then the party came. She came back into my life first. But now i do not want her. So if this is turning out what it maybe... should i take her because she may be mine for the keeping. I still do not see that and that doesnt make me want her even more if anything it will just bring more drama into my life

didnt know exactly where to post this at. So the other day i was on the internet talking with friends and my ex instant messages me. Now i have not really had a conversation with her in about 4 months and prior to that was 3 months. So we have been in low contact, but more of the fact no contact. I blocked her on the internet and deleted her numbers and yea everything. When i was with her friends i never mentioned her name or brought her up. But she was on another name the other night and i.m.ed me (one i did not know about). real quick summary ex broke up with me in August of '06 wasnt in love with me anymore. She did it in person. wasnt about another guy or anything just fell out of love. we just hit a year the day before she broke it off. I never told her i was going into no contact just did it. Never broke down and begged for her back. Except for one incident but i was drunk and yea i acted like that never happened. That is also another post if u wish to see that jsut let me know. I have come along way since august and must say im a lot better off now without her. If you need more information to the break up let me know i can find my previous posts of the entire story. She caught me in a good mood so i decided to be nice and just talk with her. It was a basic conversation. Just a hey how are u doing type of conversation caught up on some of the things we have done over the past 7 months. Conversation went on probably for about 30-40 min. She begins to talk about how she is throwing a party this friday and invited me to come! So what gives? I have not really talked to this girl in almost a year. Ignored her when we would pass each other when walking to classes (we are in college). Wouldnt even tell her hi. Comepletey shut her out of my life and never gave her the chance to get back in up until the other night. So why would she offer this to me? Why would she want me back in her life? i never gave her a answer about the party. I kinda just brushed it off as if i didnt realize she invited me. So the next day she i.m.ed me again asking if i was coming to the party. So i guess she wants me to come. I do not know how to approach this. Should i go? or save myself the hassle and just dont go? I wanna go but on the other hand i dont want to go because i put so much effort into making myself heal i didnt want to throw it away or set myself back over one night. So i keep telling her i have not decided to buy myself more time. Any suggestions or opinions on this would help Thanks

Okay so i have been broken up with my ex for at least 5 months now. There has been no contact for the most part and if there was contact it was very little to the point where we would only say hi to each other. The other night i was drinking with friends which is nothing unusual and got drunk. Well i was on AIM and she was not on. So i opened the window and typed "i love you and wish u would come back" somthing along the lines of that... now i didnt think that this would go through because first off i had her blocked and second of all the instant messages are not suppose to go through if they are not on. But apparently AIM updated this and now it leaves a message for the other person for them for when they get online. Now she got this message of me opening myself up to her and making myself vulnerable to her which i DID NOT want to show at all.(I have been drunk many times before even to points where i am completely smashed and this has never happened once at all since the break up and i have never drunk dialed her either.) Well I was with my friends last night and he was online and she instant messaged my friend asking if i was really drunk the other night. I suspected what i typed was eventually delivered to her when she signed online. This was a complete accident. This was suppose to be never sent and she was not suppose to know my feeling at all. She left me so why should i show any feeling to her at all So now what do i do... do i acknowlegde that i was drunk and it was a mistake.. blow it off and act like i dont know what she is talking about? or keep no contact going? Please help

ok it has been awhile since i posted about my own problems. I have been lurking in the forums looking at other peoples posts and providing information that i felt would help them ok quick re-cap for those that dont remember my past stories or doesnt know them at all....My ex gf broke up with me back in the middle of august. I was a mess. To sum it up she was not in love with me anymore and it would be wrong for her to drag me along. We dated for a year. There has been little contact but at the most part there has been no contact. Anyway she is standing in my brothers wedding this upcoming sunday. When she was asked to stand we were dating at the time and my soon to be sister in law just popped the question to her kinda of unsuspected and without my ex thinking about it she said yea and this occurred last december. So fast forwarding. I have healed greatly but not at that point to where i just dont care or i dont get jealous. When the wedding comes i want to have a lot of fun and come off like my life was never turned upside down. But the problem is when i act like that i tend to ignore those that hurt me. I dont know why... i just do it. So maybe some advice on how i should play my cards right. I know we are gonna end up talking if not at least a hi. I dont feel prepared to talk to her i want to heal for myself and i do not want to break NC. But that is hard at a major event like this. So how should i act. Should i bring a date? or just take it one step at a time. Should i talk to her tell her hi see how life is going and be on my way? any help would be greatly appreciated Thanks

hey man i feel for you except me and my ex gf have been broken up for over 3 months now with pretty much no contact at all. I ended up haning out with her friends 2 weeks later which was really hard. I lost 10 pounds also in 2 weeks. But after the hard days and long nights have gone by, everything looks better. My ex pretty much lost all her feelings for me as well. Our relationship was good. there were arguments here and there but nothing to out of the ordinary. The best thing you can do is just work on yourself and give her all the space she needs. Just keep thinking to yourself why would u want to be with someone who doesnt want to be with you. My ex claimed she loved me also but people change. There are other people out there just not at the moment because you dont want anyone else. Use this time for urself also and heal. Dont wait around because you could be waiting around forever. Everything will come into view and you will find the way you once knew. Just hang on

So after 3 weeks of NC i broke it. I know i know i shouldnt have done it but we left on good terms and i had to take time to figure out myself. Well i was feeling good about myself after she dumped me 3 weeks ago because she wasnt in love with me anymore but still loved me. So i called her and we just had small chat nothing went in depth just seeing how we were doing and that was it. the conversation only went for 30 min. Now i feel angry. I dont know why. I accepted the fact we are not gonna get back together but i feel like a mess now. Any help will make me feel better

maybe i should just call her instead of sending a letter?

the story behind the wedding is that my brothers fiance needed another brides maid so as soon as she found out she needed someone else she turn to my ex without thinking and asked her to be in the wedding. Which at that point we were only going out for 6 months and we broke up after a year.

so if u have been following my post its been over 3 weeks since no contact. We didnt end on bad terms we actually agreed we would be friends. no contact just kinda happened and i dont know if she is waiting around for me to speak up first since i was the one she hurt. So i have this letter written its not about getting her back its just about the memories we shared and just wanting to know what she has been up to. Just asking like friends. She is going to be in my brothers wedding so i dont want to no contact until then because it would be really arkward. Are there any help ideas on what i should tell her or should i even send it to her? some opinions would help. thanks

So after me and my gf broke up which was over 3 weeks ago and there is NC and many hours of thinking and many restless nights I finally know where i stand and its time to except it. Im alone. I have always been alone and its the one thing i have always feared. Yes i have many friends and my family is there but i still feel alone. The only way i dont feel alone is when i have my gf and since my gf broke up with me after going out for a year, i feel alone again. I was alone before her but i learned to except it and got over it and now that i by myself again i cant handle it. I feel like i have to always go out and party just to lie to myself that i am not that bad off. But i cant face it anymore i dont know how to get out of this hole i dug. Any feed back on this will help and well as those that may be experiencing the same feeling as this. thanks all

So its been 3 weeks since me and my ex broke up and there has not been any contact since. Here is the problem i still miss her. I cant get over her and cant get over that i dont have her all i keep doing is rethinking about the memories we had over the past year. Why do i feel like this? i should be getting better not getting worse! I dont know what to do. I want to contact her and tell her how i feel but i have a huge feeling that she doesnt want me still and i would just be wasting my time.

ok so me and my gf broke up after 1 year of being together 2 weeks ago. Now 2 weeks later she said i had growing up to do. I am 21 and this is was my first serious relationship. Personally I can handle a lot of things by myself and do not rely on anyone. The only problem I see is that when i get a girlfriend i become attached and obsessed. This is the only thing I can see and my friends tell me they see the same thing. Im not trying to get my gf back because apparently i have a lot of work to do on myself. Also how could i improve myself so i do not become obsessed or attached to my next girlfriend whenever that may be? Also doesnt everyone have to grow up in one way or another. I mean my gf wasnt perfect and i feel she has more growing up to do then me. So i dont think it is fair to tell someone they have growing up to do when everyone in reality has to grow up in some category in one way or another?

ok i dont know if anyone has been following my posts but real quick me and my ex broke up a week ago after a 1 year relationship. We committed ourselves to each other and to sum it all up she loved me but wasnt in love with me so we broke up because it wasnt fair for me recentely i have been having a hard time to cope with this. Lost 10 pounds in a week. Been drinking much more than usual. Not heavy or anything just more often than before. I still love her and want to be with her but there has been pretty much no contact for 2 weeks except for us breaking up. I came to a point where I completely forgot about my past year. I dont think about our good times together and i dont think about us being back together. I think of us as never happening and only talking like once every month which we did before we actually dated. Now i have gained back my weight and i am back to talking to everyone i use to talk to before she entered my life. I feel like i am back to my life without her. Is this normal? Am I on the right tract to healing or am I just in a denial stage? I excepted the fact that she is gone and going out with expecting her not to come back. Some feedback on these feeling would help thanks for all of those that listen

me and my girlfriend broke up 4 days ago. We had been together for a year and this both was our longest relationship. We both invested feelings into each other as well as our virginity. 4 days ago she tells me that she loves me but she is not in love with me. She doesnt have feelings for me anymore and it would be wrong of her to drag me along. After sitting down and talking with her i saw there was no way in changing her mind so we ended it with a kiss and a hug. I have been a mess for the past 4 days not wanting to go do anything not having a desire to get out the house. Sure each day is getting better and better but i use to look forward to talking to her for at least 5 min every night and now i dont have her but still miss the fact of talking to her. I cant get over the fact that i cant kiss her whenever i want not to mention other things. i feel like im lonely. My friends have been there for me but i dont want to talk to them as much as i want to talk to my ex gf. All i can think about are the moments we were together and the fun times we had which is making it harder on me to get over her. I need some help in understanding what is happening and how to get use to the fact that it is over. Right now i have no desire to meet another girl. I have no desire in starting another relationship at all. I never had my heart broken this hard.

should i invite her over sunday night or should i just wait until monday to see if she still wants to come over? Also when i do talk to her on sunday should i bring up what has been going on or just talk to her and see what she has been up and leave out our problems for the night?

My girlfriend and i recentely had been a small break for 10 days. The last time we talked was on thursday and she told me then that she is losing her spark for me and that everything I do aggravates me. She told me she didnt want to break up nor did she want a break but she felt like she had to be cleansed. Well a week passed by which was this past thursday and i called her she didnt answer because she was at work. She texted me saying "she was at work and she thought we were waiting until sunday to talk" I said "well yea but i also said i wouldnt call u for a week but can we talk sometime later tonight?" she replied "i want until Sunday" I said "ok but can i see you sunday to talk to u in person" she said "i dunno" So after that happened i figured we werent gonna talk until sunday night. Well last night which was friday she called me. At first i missed her call but as soon as i called her back she answered on the first ring. I asked her what is going on and she said that she has not missed me all week and yea she thought about us and what was going on but it didnt consumer her time like it consumed my time. She said she loved me but wasnt in love with me and she didnt see me in her future plans. I told her that i am probably one of the best things that happened to her and she shouldnt throw this away so soon. I said i never held her back and i would never keep her from her dreams i know she is independpent and i know she doesnt need me everyday at every mninute. Which is fine with me because i dont need her everyday either. I dont ask a lot from her all i want is her love. As she poured her tears out on the phone the entire night she said she didnt know what to do. I told her i loved her and she said i love you to. When she said that i told her i dont want you to tell me you love me because u feel sorry and she said she wasnt she said she means it. I move into a new apartment sunday and she asked if she could come see it monday. Until then i told her look take sometime on saturday and i would not call her until sunday night after she was off of work. We left it still open but i am hoping she will relalize that we cant get through this. I am stuck in a bind because i want to hold onto her I still feel like there is hope and i want her to see that for herself. We already talked about if there was another guy and she said no she isnt even intrested in see other guys. She just feels that she doesnt see me in her future. So what do i do now should i call her tonight (Saturday) or just wait until sunday. I really want to miss her and just want to see her. I even told all i want to do is just hug you i dont want anything lse from you right now except a hug. So now what my feelings are all confused. I jsut dont want to quit.

no im pretty sure there is no other another guy we also agreed that we would not hook up with anyone else while we were on our break

its so hard though i lost so much of my own life over the past week! and i cant get over the fact that she could find another guy and end up sleeping with him. I lost my virignity to her and she lost hers to me and i always treasured that more than anything with us

A little over a week ago me (21 yrs old) and my girlfriend (21 years old) have decided to take a break from our 1 year relationship which we just made last tuesday which we had a fun time together. that wed after our 1 year anniversary I went over to her apartment and spent the night and she was acting really strange. the next morning before she went to work she told me acted normal by kissing me bye and tell me that she loved me. So when i got back home on thursday i called her later that night asking her what was wrong. At first she didnt want to talk about it but finally i broke her down and she talked to me. She said she is losing her spark for me. Everything i do is aggravating and she doesnt seem happy. She asked me if i miss being single and i said yea but i also told her that i will miss being with her much more than being single. She then explained to me that she doesnt know what to do. So I told her that we can slow down things and take it slower. She said no that is not gonna help, she said she has to be completely cleansed of me. She said to me that she thinks she is in love and she thinks she still loves me. She then stated that she does not want a break or break up because she knows how good she has it and if she leaves and comes back she is afraid i wont take her back but something had to be done. So i proposed on thursday that we will take a break for a week. i would not call her for a week, and i would prob call her on sunday of the following week and she said she would call me before then if she needed to talk to me. Well a week passed by yesterday and there was no contact for the entire week. So I called her on thursday and she did not answer her phone which i figured she was at work. About 20 min later she texted me saying "Im at work and i thought we were waiting until Sunday?" I texted her back saying "that I think we should talk sometime later tonight" she texted me back stating "no i want until sunday" so i text back saying "could i see you sunday after work so we can talk in person?" she said "I dunno". Can someone help me explain what maybe the problem is. I love this girl more than anything and i figured that after a week she would be ready to talk. But now that she still wants to wait until sunday it makes me think that she is going to break it off. But if she wanted to break it off why is she waiting until sunday? Why hadnt she done it already? she is not someone who will procrastinate like that she will say what is on her mind. Im preparing myself to move on but cant because it seems like we arent offically over. Did she just prepare herself not to talk to me until sunday or is she still searching to see if i am the one? I wrote her a long song that states how i feel for her, how i can make her life happy, and how if it doesnt work out then it wasnt meant to be. Does anyone think that i should send her the letter saturday night before we talk on sunday? and should i be the one to call her on sunday?