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rachel1256

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Everything posted by rachel1256

  1. rachel1256
    I did it! I changed my number, blocked him from my email, so he has no choice but to give up. It hurts, but I know this is a huge step in my healing. He would text, and then not respond back if I said anything. He would drive me crazy with I miss you, what are you doing, and when I would respond, SILENCE.... What a jerk! Good riddance, and it will be much easier to stay strong and no longer care what he is doing with his new date/s Thank you all so much for the support!
  2. rachel1256
    I am slowly but surely working out all the questions that keep coming up, and sorting out my life that I wasted for 2 years with an abusive ex. I know many of you will say "I told you to do so long ago" when I say this, but I thought things would be different if I waited till i changed my number. Ive done everything I can, besides changing my cell number, to block my ex from reaching me. Last night, I was thinking of him while I was in bed, and he texd me, once saying, "u there," and the second time, "miss you." I was such an idiot, and texd back I was thinking about him too, and asked him what he was doing for the 4th. I had 2 glasses of wine earlier, so I wasn't thinking clearly, and he didn't even end up texting me back! He has hurt me so much, and I feel afraid to do this last step, I don't know why. Would changing my cell number this late be of any use? He probably is with a new girl already, and just got lonely, who knows. All I know is it made me hurt last night when I saw his text, responded, only to hear nothing. Do you think he may just leave me alone now, or would changing my number once and for all be the best thing to do? Sorry if I sound so repetitive, I just hate when I have these setbacks when Im doing so well.
  3. rachel1256
    Hey! Oh I know exactly what you are feeling! It's so tough, but since I posted here, I haven't looked at my ex's profile. He posted a new one on Myspace, and immediatley after we separated, he went on a dating sight. It's so awful, and it hurts so much, but like other posters have said, we have the power, and you don't realize how much you have until you put it to good use. Next time you want to look at the dating profile or her blog, just remind yourself she is NOT worth it, and you don't want to move backwards, you want to move forwards. Im moving forward at the pace of a turtle right now after being so hurt by what my ex did, but hey, at least I didn't leap WAY back into the lions den. =) Even if its baby steps forward, its moving forward. Its tough to think of them with someone else, but we have to remember that they are SO not worth it, and I trust all the posters here, that time heals all wounds. You will find that dream lady of yours, I know it.
  4. rachel1256
    It does help. Thank you. I just need to be strong, in ALL areas now. At first I was looking at his profile to make myself disgusted with him, but after time, it only hurt. Now, I realize that not looking at all is the best and only option. Let him date 18-45 year old women, and who knows, maybe it will make him happy. I obviously did not, so I can't worry anymore, and just stay away from even the internet right now. Thank you!
  5. rachel1256
    Thank you everyone for sharing your personal experiences, as well as great advice on how I should just look away from him completley. I guess once my head is clear, I won't care who he is with, if she makes him happy or not... I KNOW who he is, and he did the same thing cruel thing to his ex when he met me. He was still with her, then met me, strung her along, etc.... He refers to most women as "wh___s" so I truly doubt that anyone will make him happy. I agree with you all, his post was just probably trying to lure more women in, since he is so desperate. I should be laughing at the fact that he immediatley posted a dating profile, is looking for girls 18-45, and he will settle with anyone because he doesn't truly want a relationship, he may just want someone to validate himself. Anyways, I appreciate each response so very much. That is why I came here, instead of doing anything stupid. I have come a long way, and I know that if I don't look at his sight anymore, nor care if he is happier with a new girl, I will soon be on top of the world with a big smile on my face. =) I feel better already after reading everyone's post. I am doing great, just had a weak moment, but they get less and less each week.
  6. rachel1256
    Thanks Hope. I did put a post it on my computer this morning. =) I just let the fact that he said he wanted kids bother me, since that was NOT like him when I was with him. Annie, you are right, it is such a ridiculous dating experience, and he is not even worth another thought. =) I really did love him so much, and it hurts to see him 'seeking out' something new. Oh well, I kinda feel sorry for his new girl. Wish I could warn her. =) You are all right though, who cares. He didn't treat me right, and I know I couldn't have tried any harder. Please know i'm doing SO MUCH better, staying really strong, yet in weak moments I always think that another girl will make him so much happier, and that hurts knowing I tried so very hard, and he just yelled at me and always told me how wrong I was all the time. Im going on dates, doing great things with my life, yet I do have weak moments. I will NEVER go back to him, but I think issues of weak self esteem still make me wonder why I could never make him happy.
  7. rachel1256
    Annie, thanks for sharing your personal experience. It really makes me feel worse, and laugh at the same time. It just makes me sad, and or wonder that I may not have given him something, or caused him to be such a wretched person because something I DID brought it out. Dako, It may be that I am still gaining back my self esteem, and its been only 3 weeks. He really did verbally abuse me, tell me to shut up, sit down, don't say this or that, just about every day for the last 5 months i was with him. I still have it in me that if I did this or that different, he wouldn't have treated me like he did. I know its not true, but when you have been in an abusive rel. for so long, you do think that. Trust me, i was a super strong person before I met him, didnt take CRAP from any man, until I dated this man for 3 years. I just need to not look at his profile, and like one poster said, forget he ever existed. As others said, he will most likely treat any girl the way he did me, but I need to focus on how he treated me. I am doing A LOT better, so much stronger, yet things just bother me sometimes..
  8. rachel1256
    Before I blocked him for good though, he texd me Friday night that he was at home, and hoped I was ok. He never asks me to come over (showing interest) he just implies he misses me... I think he really does get dates though. Who knows if they last, or if he actually meets a woman he wants to date... Its a little of both, not wanting to be alone, using girls, and trying to get to me. Why I still let it get to me, I dont know. Thanks for the response
  9. rachel1256
    I'm doing much better overall. Being strong, and not contacting or responding to my ex at all. I will be super honest though, I've looked at his dating profile again, and also a page he just put up on Myspace. He put on his profile he wants kids, where before it said nothing. He NEVER wanted kids with me for a very long time, let alone marriage. How in the heck did he have the nerve to put he "definatley wants kids" on his dating profile? I'm just extremely hurt by all this, and the fact that he seems to want a lot with these new girls that he never wanted with me. I'm sure he had girl/s over this weekend with him. I've made the step of blocking him, now I can't stop looking at his profile and myspace page! both profiles disgust me. he is a 34 year old man, and on his profile he is looking for women "18-45 years old." To me, that sounds very desperate. Im starting to get that horrible feeling again that a different girl he meets won't make him yell or be verbally abusive like he was to me. Or, a different girl will change his views on marriage and children. I'm guessing given a month, he will treat his next "girlfriend" with little respect too, no matter how sweet she is. I brought it on myself by looking at his profile in a weak moment, yet I can't stand the fact I tried everything, yet wasn't good enough because I had an "attitude."
  10. rachel1256
    I agree 100%. Time, and NC work miracles. I still think about my ex often, but that burning pain is no longer there. I can think of him with another girl, and it doesn't make my heart break. Its a long journey, but soon you just realize that whether it was an abusive relationship, your feelings were not recipricated, or they moved on with someone else, you see that they were not worth it in the end. There is someone out there just waiting to make you happy, who would only do their best to love you, appreciate you, and make sure you feel the the most important person in the world! It gets better, please don't break NC, because it will make things worse.
  11. rachel1256
    Yes, I'm trying not to, because you know what, every time I had acknowledged him these past weeks, he has ended up ignoring me. Once he hears from me, he goes back online and looks for girls again. He really is sick! Thanks everyone for the encouragement/posts. =)
  12. rachel1256
    I'm sorry she is doing this to you. You sound like a great person, who does not deserve this from her, or anyone. My advice would be to back away from her, and let her do what she feels she "has to do." If she truly loves you, she will realize what she has given up, and treat you with respect and not play with your emotions. If she doesn't, than you know what? Time heals all wounds, and there will be a girl out there you will meet who will love and appreciate you, and treat you with love and respect back.
  13. rachel1256
    I'm so glad to hear you met a great guy! Me too! =) You are right, it's just because he's trying to manipulate me, which he no longer can. I have made sure he is permanently blocked, and I spelled his email correctly. I mispelled it on the block list, thats how he was able to email me. Oops.. I had such a great time with the new guy, I've done so much hard work to move on, and I feel GREAT! NC works miracles, and it makes the ex you once put on a pedastle look so pathetic. I hope things work out for you with the new guy! You deserve to be happy, and treated with love and respect. As you said, and as I am finding out, there is a much brighter future ahead.
  14. rachel1256
    just wanted to let everyone know how my date went today... We went for lunch, he treated, and it was very nice. We laughed, had a great time, and both seemed to click. His sense of humor so far is really attractive, and we seem to get along well. So, we'll see what happens next. Im very excited though, since it's nice to have a man who makes me laugh and I can be myself around. I don't know how this happened, as I blocked my ex from my email, but an email from him got through. I must not have hit "ok" when I went to block it, so sure enough I get an email from him this morning after i didn't answer a text. he texd me saying, "you ok?" I didn't respond. I get an email from him about an hour later saying, "you must have moved on already, that was fast.... I haven't..." He has the nerve to tell me I MOVED ON FAST, when he was on a dating sight not even a week after. Oh well, Im over it now. I made sure I blocked him this time! Anyways, the date with this new guy went well, and I think I WILL make the next move, and ask him somwhere..
  15. rachel1256
    This is very true. It just takes the strength of maintaining NC, and not letting what they do get to you. My ex, and especially in the cases of abusive ex's, will do MANY things to hurt you, whether on purpose, or simply because they never cared in the first place, but those are the things you just have to let go. I found that not looking at his profile on the dating sight, as well as blocking him from my email helped so much.
  16. rachel1256
    Will do! Thanks for ALL the support.
  17. rachel1256
    Sorry it took a while to reply, but the date went very well! He kept me laughing the whole time. I could tell there was something special about him, and not just because we were both on our best behavior. He had a genuine sense of humor, yet not overkill. He opened all my doors for me, let me go first, real gentleman... He's definatley different from my ex, not that I want to compare, but he makes me laugh, he's considerate, and he he is family oriented which I think is super! I haven't laughed genuinley in SO long. He's taking me out to this nice sushi place near the coast tomorrow! Im super excited. He was telling me that he can't wait, "great food, great girl, is it wednesday yet?" I was flattered when he said that, because I never got complimented like that with my ex. I'll let you all know how it goes.
  18. rachel1256

    Male Friends

    rachel1256 replied to safeplay's topic in Jealousy

    I have 2 really good male friends, and I have no romantic feelings for them whatsoever. They have girlfriends, I've usually had a boyfriend, and we are simply friends... If you trust her, then I don't see anything wrong with it. BUT, how many is a lot? You need to determine if you really trust her, if not, it can become a problem.
  19. rachel1256
    thegirl20, I understand completely what you are going through, yet I have been doing NC now for a week, (minus an angry email i sent my ex) and I have to tell you it works miracles. I too have a lot of friends and family supporting me, I have gone on one date with another guy, and things have REALLY been looking up for me. My ex textd me earlier, and I didn't even care to respond. He has only made my life miserable, and I don't want that anymore. Sure, I think of him and still love him, but being away from him, doing NC has really really helped me put this all into perspective. I wrote down all the hurtful things he has done to me, printed my posts here when he was making me feel awful, and I have to tell you, I DO NOT MISS IT! He is so wrong for you, and the reason you don't see it yet is because you are still in contact with him. I guarantee you that when you do strict NC, it will help you so much. If I can do this, so can you. It took me so long to let go of him, and I kept wondering WHY. Because I kept letting him get to me, and I kept in contact, but as soon as I stopped, I felt so much better. I have faith in you
  20. rachel1256
    I had originally posted a long post, but deleted it. I just wanted to say I have not contacted my ex, doing much better, and I have a date tomorrow with someone new who seems so very nice. I thank you all for your responses
  21. rachel1256
    I do see this now. You have all really put into perspective what is really happening, and I either did not chose to believe it, or didn't fully grasp it until this week of not talking, and watching all the games he plays. I will be honest and did put too much hope into him, as I do everyone, mostly seeing the good side. In Italy for example, I almost gave a Gypsy money thinking she was some poor girl, until my friend, who had been there many times before, grabbed me away from the situation. I guess my point being is I hate when people are hurting, and I was brought up in a great, close family where we always talked things out, and things were better. When someone was hurt or angry, we would say so, and things were solved so quickly. I was honestly trying to figure this guy out, because his methods of handling problems were so foreign to me I thought for sure he could change once he saw how much I loved him. How silly do I sound? I won't be that vulnerable, naive woman ever again. It's funny, because there are 2 guys that have liked me since I'vee been with my ex, 2 very nice men, yet I chose to stick with the one I hoped would BECOME a nice man, who may eventually understand he had a girl who loved him, stuck with him through so much. I know now that will never happen. I have to say after reading everyone's posts, I feel SO much better. Thank you all again for your help. I read each post over, and appreciate everyone.
  22. rachel1256
    Thanks for the support. I understand. What I don't understand is why he even "strung me along" in the first place, by calling me Monday, then texting me earlier last week saying he missed me. Why doesn't he just forget me, and move onto the next girl he is so eagerly looking for online. I haven't looked at his profile once today, nor cared that he hasn't called. It gets easier, I did what I did, and at least he knows im disgusted with him. Its sad that he may still think I will come back to him.
  23. rachel1256
    Thanks! I will be ok soon, in fact, I feel SO much better already. I have been going out, I went on that date yesterday, and he was super nice! We are in the process of planning our second date. My girlfriends are also helping me too. He has not called yet, and I guarantee even if he texts, calls, or emails, I WILL NOT respond. To think I felt bad yesterday... I appreciate every single post, and each has really helped me to move forward, and also to see that I DO NOT need this man in my life, nor should I let him bother me.
  24. rachel1256
    Thank you! I will not dwell on my mistakes, or him being a jerk, anymore. If I do, I will find something to take my mind off of it. When I do start thinking of all we did together, and the good times, what should I do instead?
  25. rachel1256
    You have all made a great point that made me realize how much I was obsessing over him, his whereabouts, and not moving on. I just feel so dumb because last night I gave into his ploy, and by his non response, thats exactly what he wanted. I make a promise here, I will not look at his lame profile, nor care what he does anymore. All of your kind words, iceman, hope, kellbell, scout, and everyone else, have really encouraged me. Im smiling now, and I know I will be strong soon like I was. He isn't worth it! He will treat all women like me, and neither i, nor the next woman will ever make him truly happy.
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