dna_girl

You're not stupid for begging and crying. Maybe you didn't make the smartest decision, but we all make mistakes. I think it's weird how he would make it a point to talk to you after class, and pop up around campus (i.e. follow you) and tell you look pretty, and then emphasize that there was no way he was getting back together with you. He was totally playing mind games. Do you think you just want him back because he is unattainable now? And because he was the one who didn't want it any longer and he was in control of saying no. Sometimes that's attractive. He's obviously moved on. I don't know if you should try and break them up (if that's what you were going to do..) I mean how would you feel if you were the girl and someone tried to do that to you? That wouldn't be cool. BUT if they do break up at some point maybe you can try and see if things work out then. Until then you should work on yourself, self-improvement as you said.

I agree, it's such a cop-out. I hate it when they say that. My ex said that to me too. The last night we talked, when he told me he was no longer in love, he told me that if he were to meet a "woman exponentially the woman I am, and that woman probably does not exist", then he would think about being in another relationship and that he wants to be celibate right now. He also said that he thinks very highly of me. But its funny, because during that conversation he would compliment other women specifically (i.e. this girl is confident...and that girl doesn't take sh*t from anyone, etc) but for me it's these stupid, generic compliments. Oh and he also thinks I compare myself to his ex. I've never even met her, all I asked him about her was why they got along so well (to find out why he & I don't). And he said I continuously pointed out to him how much of a better person I am than him (which I did not), and he said he agrees I am, but he thinks it's funny that I feel the need to do that. When I told him I don't think that I am a better person, and he continued to say I was, I asked him how exactly I was a better person. He couldn't think of anything right away and said, oh you are more generous than me. So later during the conversation when he said the thing about meeting a woman exponentially the woman I am, I said to him, "I don't believe you mean that because I am so, so great of a woman yet you don't want to be with me. It's like, you have a really good heart, and you're generous and stuff, but I don't want to be with you, thanks though." So annoying!

I really like what you said, majord23. Reading your post makes me realize that I do indeed miss the strong feelings of being deeply in love. I would be perfectly fine with feeling that way toward someone else more compatible, so it is not the ex I miss, but the feelings. Thanks for posting this, it was helpful.

It must be hard with him living accross from you (dorms, I guess?). It'll just make you all that much stronger. Since you can say it's possible for you to love again, I think you are already moving forward and that's awesome.. I'm in school too but pretty much finished (done this summer) but may return to the same school (where he is doing his PhD) for grad school. We're in different departments but I'm sure I'll bump into him from time to time. Deep down, I still look forward to bumping into him and so I know I'm not over him. Hopefully, there'll come a day soon when I am indifferent to the idea of bumping into him. Good luck.

maybe you can email her and ask her to leave at a dept office/desk with a receptionist or what not if you go to school, or somewhere where you can get it without having to see her... you can be polite in asking for it back so you don't look cheap, but at the same time firm and concise so she knows you are not using this as an excuse to talk to her..

sorry to hear that you endured so much heartbreak i guess that is the risk one has to take, especially with the level of closeness that you two had i also don't agree with what someone mentioned, that one should mentally prepare themself that relationships have a short shelf-life, cause it is a self-fulfilling prophecy and it will usually guarantee an end for sure the person will end up being negative about the relationship subconsciously and it will manifest itself in the way they behave with their significant other that's a good lesson...not to revolve your life around someone else hope you're stronger now which i am sure you are

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