loving_coca-cola

First of all, I want to start off by saying that I am definitely not proud of what has happened, and that I do not think that I can be excused in any way. All I can say though, is that I just followed my heart, and that right now, I'm in pain. Although I may deserve it, I need some help... I'm in my third year of university, studying abroad. Having a month left, this guy that I've been friends with (who has a girlfriend of 4 years -- and everyone in the program knew this) and I started getting even closer after dancing at a club with all of our friends (he came up to me). The next day, he would come over to me even though I was trying to be as far from him as possible. So we danced a little and talked a little. My friend later told me that he told her that he's never cheated before, but for some reason, I was different. After that day, we had a couple of movie nights together, and one night, he told me he was going to stay over. Nothing happened and we just cuddled. He came over a few times in the next couple of weeks, and nothing happened. Then one day, we ended up making out. I asked him about his girlfriend before anything happened, and he said "Yeah, me and my girlfriend have been having problems. She likes me a lot, but I'm not happy with her. I just can't break up with her that easy because I'm practically married to her family." So after that, we started talking even more, and he would constantly bug me about the fact that I don't talk to him much in public (I was scared of being judged by everyone), and how me hugging other guys made him jealous, and so on. Even when he went on weekend trips, he would initiate the text messages, saying he missed me. The other day, we almost had sex. He stopped though. I don't know whether it was because he felt guilty, or because I was shaking and he thought I didn't want to. He's been approached by many girls on this program, but has rejected all of them. My question is... what am I? Why is it me? And sadly, though I started this relationship knowing that we were going to go back home (our schools are about 8 hours drive apart) and he would be with his girlfriend (who went to the same high school, and now college), I've come to like him a lot. One thing that really confuses me is when I asked him why he was telling people we were hooking up. His answer was, "If we were hooking up, it would be one thing. But we're not of course." I don't know what his definition of hooking up is, or if he was just joking because he's a sarcastic kid, but I don't know... He will be leaving in 6 days... was I just used?

So to make a long story short, we're both 20, he liked me since freshman year of college, but I had a boyfriend back then. Got together in beginning of sophomore year, dated 7 months, he broke it off after a huge fight. We were on-and-off for about 2 months before that (both of us saying we'd break up but getting back together within a day). He actually just wanted a week of time apart and sent me a sweet long email about how he didn't want to give up yet. But after talking to his frat brothers, he broke up with me on the same day he sent me that email. Begged and cried for a week, then stopped. He started popping up wherever I was saying how I looked pretty but that we didn't have a chance of getting back together. 3 weeks after the breakup, he's with another girl. He was looking for a date for his frat formal, and one of his brothers set him up with her (they were acquaintances since freshman year). She's coincidentally going to the same location for study abroad as all me and my ex and I'm absolutely scared. He checks my website periodically, but he recently changed his profile picture to that of him and her, and also deleted the online album that had a picture of us (which was my only hope that he still thought of me). Anyway, here's this girl that he's called "unattractive" before. But she does look like a very friendly person despite not being that pretty, so maybe that's what attracted him to her. I still hope that he'd come back. After we broke up, he used to be very jealous of one of our mutual friends (one of his frat brothers) because we would always hang out (his girlfriend was my best friend). He would treat him like crap and all. But after he got his new girlfriend, he told our mutual friend that he was sorry about the jealousy, but now he's ok because he has a new girl... He really does look happy with her in his pictures with her... and a lot of thier friends think they are a good couple... Have people been back after being in a happy realtionship with someone else? Do I really have no hope anymore...?

"how can things not work out for two people who want the same thing? sad huh...i want you to know that as we move one with our lives, i have and will always care for you. ive been thinking things through my head for days now, and even though i know we cant be togther, i still wanna be with you so bad. I just want you to know that it has been extremely hard on me, im sure its been the same if not worse for you. I want to apoligze for putting u through this experience, but you and i know its good for our growth." This is what he said to me a couple of days after we broke up. Then, a month later, he tells me that he was calling me all the time for stupid reasons (asking me questions about hw, telling me he finished hw for class, all that stuff) after our break up because he missed me and my voice. He was also coming up to me and talking to me even when I tried to avoid him during and after classes. Then I find out he's with another girl a couple days later. Was everything he said bull? I miss him a lot (it's been almost two months since our break up and a month since we last saw each other), and even though I know that he's with someone else right now, I can't stop loving him. I'm trying to get on with my life... but I somehow believe that he will come back to me again after a couple of months. He's in a semi-long distance relationship (Virginia and Massachusetts) with her right now because we're in summer break, but I wonder if this will have any effect.

xblondyx> Yeah, I somehow got the vibe that he was keeping me around just in case things didn't work out with the girl he was pursuing. I guess it's going well between them now though because I haven't seem him at all, let alone spoken to him. I guess I'm trying not to look back. But I still have that hope that it would be great if he would be wherever I'm moving on towards. dna_girl> I haven't thought about breaking them up because I feel like the only way that this relationship would ever work out is if he comes back to me. I feel like if I end up asking him again or somehow try to manipulate things, it would just end up with me being subordinate in the relationship again. But I won't lie... I somehow hope that they break up even though I know that it doesn't necessarily mean that he will come back to me. Thanks guys

I recently (a little over a month ago) broke up with my boyfriend of 7 months. He's liked me a lot since last year, but I decided to break up with my then-boyfriend to go out with him after I saw him in the beginning of the year. I was always attracted to him, and he seemed like he would treat me better than my then-boyfriend. We're both sophmores in college, and we had been going on and off throughout the last few months of our relationship because we fought a lot. It was always either me or him saying that we would break up, but making up after a day or so. But this time, it was different. He told me he wanted to break up and told me to get out of his room. I called him a while later and he told me he needed space so I agreed. He even sent me an email saying how special we were, how he thought we had so much potential, and didn't want to let me go yet. But an hour later, after talking to one of his older frat brothers, he decided to end it over an ambiguous post on his xanga. I begged and cried (I know... I was stupid) for a week. But after that, I decided to stay away from him. That's when he started popping up in front of me everywhere on campus. He would tell me I looked pretty and stuff. And even if I would leave class without saying anything to him, he would follow me and talk to me about random things. He would even call me, occasionally unblock me on AIM and talk to me, and etc. But every fifth sentence was always "Let's make this clear. I never EVER want to get back with you ever again". Then he comes around one day to tell me that he got a date for his frat formal. She just turned out to be a girl who's also going abroad to the same destination as him and me. Even though he'd been unblocking me from AIM for the past three days, he decided to block me again on the night of the formal. And after a month (well it was more like three weeks) after we broke up, I find out he's going out with her. He writes posts like "Every little thing she does is magic. Everything she do just turns me on" on his xanga, and he seems to be head over heels for her. Ever since then, he hasn't contacted me. Neither have I. He still checks my xanga every time I update though. Right now, I'm working on being positive and working on my flaws that I came to see through this breakup. For that, I'm thankful. I'm trying to improve myself both inside and out. But the thing is... I want him back. I don't care if it's a couple of months from now, I want him back. He was such an important part of my life, and I want to be the one to make him happy, and I want him to be the one to make me happy. The new girlfriend who's going to be abroad in the same destination next year... We're approaching summer break and I have no clue what's going to happen. I'm going to try to take that time for self improvement. But do I have a chance? Were his feelings for me so dead by the time we broke up that he could just happily go on to someone else after a month? He kept on telling me how he missed me and loved me but couldn't get back together with me because there was no way it was going to work out Please give me some opinions and advice!!